thehalosandwich

[thehalosandwich]

This deserves a repost

reblog if you love the moon, or any other really big rock

[thehalosandwich]

ahahaha

Band director: … If we find these kids

Tall Trumpet: *directly behind director* then we hang them

Band director: *looks behind him rapidly* NO

[thehalosandwich]

#410 rifle

Gun Control

Verb. The art of catching your rifle before it hits the band kid who just walked into your space.

[thehalosandwich]

My school going to Comp.

[thehalosandwich]

Ha

instruments as the ppl in my class who play said instruments

Piccolo: will shank you with their eyeliner; dO NOT TOUCH THEIR PICCOLOS UNLESS YOU WANT DEATH

Flute: the hunger games but with chair tests. also like siblings they’re the only ones allowed to fight each other

Clarinet: sweet, a little awk but it’s okay we all love them- or they’re basic bitches sorry I don’t make the rules

Oboe: the only sane person in the band. and there’s only one of them.

Bassoon: “I ONLY GOT A 98 ON MY MATH TEST”

Alto Sax: as cocky as the trumpets

Tenor Sax: the most gender neutral section, very smart ppl with bad common sense (DONT PUT THE SAXES DOWN ON THE KEYS)

French Horn: in cahoots with the piccolos but also dying inside bc partials

Trumpet: will do anything for valve oil

Trombone: sTOp pLAYiNG sO LOUd

Baritone: the nice, quiet ones. probably hiding something.

Tuba: overachievers holy fuck

Drumline: run. run while you still can. before a snapped stick comes hurtling for your face. they’re too far gone.

(I’d add front ensemble but we don’t have that here sorryyyyy)

[thehalosandwich]

AHAHAHHA

shit i’ve heard this marching season

“Now i’m not saying to do it but dont not do it”

“let me just *climbs into sousaphone case* NOPE”

“left. left. left. left. RIGHT. left. betcha weren’t expecting that one you little fucks”

“let me play a song i made for you nickelas *through trumpet mouthpiece* FUCK YOU”

“actually you cant leave band your name is already signed in blood there’s no backing out of this one”

“thank you for 5 years of marching together… unless your name is wesley”

“don’t smoke weed, suck reed”

“SOUSAPHONES GET INSIDE YOURE ALL WALKING LIGHTNING RODS”

“all i have for my book report is ‘the’ its due today please impale me with your clarinet”

“what comes after L in the alphabet?”

“JOHNSONS GOING TO COLLEGE WOOO”

“if you bend your knees while marching this im coming after you with a baseball bat”

“scoot over some johnson youre two off” ‘like this?’ “*in shreks voice* that’ll do donkey, that’ll do”

“i am incapable of crying but just imagine me being emotional”

“what’s up kids the end of the world didnt happen and now we’re here”

[thehalosandwich]

Oof

“Thats an awful lot of letters, gee I wonder what it spells!" 

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STAY BURNT

When the guard coach tells you to stay in your toaster

[thehalosandwich]

Mood

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I’m scared

The answer is all of the above.

[thehalosandwich]

hangman..re-amped

Absolute chaos.

[thehalosandwich]

what is the most cursed instrument??

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Oh. I was unaware of that.

[thehalosandwich]

o yeah

Punny Signs.

[thehalosandwich]

wisdommmm

[thehalosandwich]

GIMME SUM

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

[thehalosandwich]

OH PLEASE HELP

Hi, it’s me, I need help. I’m 15 and I’ve been dating this guy, lates call him Paul, who is one of my not super close friends and we’ve been together for 4-5 months. I realized recently that we don’t have such common interests other than wanting a relationship. He still loves me and has never mentioned breaking up until at least the end of high school. When we first started dating, I had him promise he would always be my friend, and he did promise that. Now I’m in high school as a freshman and I’m taking really hard classes so I’m very busy. I don’t see him much in or out of school. My best friend, let’s call him Jay, is a guy and he and I have been besties for 4 years. I previously had a crush on Jay for almost 6 years from 1-early 8th grade. He liked me back around 7th grade but it didn’t go anywhere as he stopped liking me and I faced the choice of losing him as a bff or getting over my crush on him. I chose to get over him. After that we became closer than ever, bonus that we live near each other, he and I will often joke about it now. Jay is in one of my classes and in Marching band which is after school everyday for 4 hours plus he is my carpool and in my neighborhood. He and I spend a lot of time together. Paul, on the other hand, I only have one class with and he lives far from me and I only see him for about 30 minutes during lunch or in English class that we have together. Jay and I long ago made a pact to tell each other everything so that we would never have to keep secrets from each other. We often play Truth or Dare to pass the time and he asked me what a deepest darkest secret was that he was not aware of and I paused and when he asked why and I explained that it was because of certain people and circumstances that I cannot tell until and unknown time later. And then we continue the game. I asked him the same question and he chose truth and he Hesitated even answered saying he cannot tell because of certain circumstances that I must wait. When we eventually told each other out of sheer curiosity, it turned out that both our secrets were that we both really like each other again. The problem is, I have a boyfriend who is kind of socially odd. Jay and I thought of an idea for me to break up with Paula and then date Jay instead before homecoming.

*ive met Paul’s whole extended family and he has met mine. His parents love me and my parents love him. He and I have given our first kiss to each other and have gotten kind of touchy feely as all teenagers do. What should I do? Break up with Paul and date Jay or break up with Paul and don’t date at all or don’t break up with Paul and don’t date Jay.

Please help