thepassioncrisis

[thepassioncrisis]

[thepassioncrisis]

everything u need to know about me can actually be explained by the fact that i read that poem about the serving girl wearing the pearls so they're warm for her mistress when i was like 11 and it rewrote my brain chemistry forever

like this Changed Me

[thepassioncrisis]

little thingy from the other week, stuff on my mind

[thepassioncrisis]

everybody give it up for this brand of green. round of applause for most under appreciated green

[thepassioncrisis]

writers and artists will go "this isn't good enough." my brother in christ, you're creating something new out of nothing and expressing yourself creatively. your productivity and unrealistic standards of perfection do not define you or the worth of your art. you're doing great.

[thepassioncrisis]

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan More info: Website | Instagram…

[thepassioncrisis]

An extraordinary Acheulean handaxe knapped around a fossil shell circa 500,000-300,000 years ago.

The maker appears to have deliberately flaked around the shell to preserve and place it in a central position. As a result this handaxe has been described as an early example of artistic thought.

From West Tofts, Norfolk.

Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology, University of Cambridge, Courtesy Alison Fisk

[thepassioncrisis]

idk who popularised the narrative "i don't let my disability stop me" but it needs to be stomped on, pulverised by a meat grinder and then thrown into the depths of the sea never to be seen again.

it is by far the most popular ableist narrative and i see it so much and immediately just think i'm a bad person for not being able to 'get over' my disability despite the fact it's an incurable, permanent and severely disabling disability.

stop stop stop stop pushing the mindset that people have to persevere despite their disabilities in order to be a worthy person

leave me alone and let me be disabled in peace

[thepassioncrisis]

[thepassioncrisis]

weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream

[thepassioncrisis]

Mitski for Pitchfork // Richard Siken for TinHouse

[thepassioncrisis]

“pillow princesses don’t do anything in bed”

Uhhhh let me stop you right there - I’m literally pretty??? I’m literally being pretty in bed? 🙄

[thepassioncrisis]

I hate the “we should have child free cafes but not dog free cafes” and the “kids shouldn’t be out in public” shit that’s getting popular again cause whenever you ask them why they hate kids they say their loud annoying etc.

Just because another person is inconvenient for you doesn’t mean they don’t get to exist in public.

[thepassioncrisis]

The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you

[thepassioncrisis]

nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.

[thepassioncrisis]

if you want to actually start to end homelessness, you need to give homeless people unconditional homes, including when we use them to do drugs or sit around drinking. either housing is unconditional or it isn’t

someone sitting at home alone, an active alcoholic, squandering your charity, drinking all day is better situation than a street homeless alcoholic. someone using drugs in your charity house is better than them doing the same w no shelter

most of you would not like most street homeless people, I definitely don’t and didn’t when I was street homeless. for every one person who uses unconditional shelter to turn themselves around, someone else will do jack shit and very slowly, if ever, work through the issues that made them homeless, will maybe never be able to live independently. still better than street homelessness, still worth doing. ultimately either you believe that shelter should be universal or you don’t

homeless people actually can’t be rehabilitated if you want to end homelessness. we either affirm the right to shelter for the worst drunken, lying, filthy, cheating, self destructive homeless people that exist, genuinely irredeemable wankers, or we concede that shelter is not a right

[thepassioncrisis]

you push so much about self soothing instead of getting reassurance from people. are you saying that it's not ok to get reassurance from others? because that sounds pretty toxic

Hi anon,

I'm really sorry to give off that impression. That's not at all what I meant to convey. What I'm trying to suggest is that before asking for reassurance, we first try and self-soothe.

The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both ends because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."

My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling, to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Some examples.

Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.

Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.

If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy.

ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.

TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.

If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.

If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".

It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.

For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.

You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.

This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.

If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."

TLDR: I don't think it's never okay to ask for reassurance, I just think it's important to self-soothe and not bombard people for reassurance because that can put strain on your relationships in the long-term.