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Astrology's weird bc if you've only ever had fun with it and come across someone w seething hatred for it you're understandably like, what the fuck is this person's problem? But also if you've seen someone take it Too Far, any mention of it understandably becomes a red flag

Like imagine if you really liked Pokemon and you're like, "I really don't see why people would hate this unless they're just assholes for no reason?" Like it's a totally normal opinion opinion to have. But also imagine if you took a quiz and learned you were a Bug type and people stopped talking to you because they were like "It's in your nature to be emotionally manipulative." It would also be totally normal to be like "Oh okay fuck Pokemon fans then."

Now you may be like, "But the latter situation doesn't happen!" and that tells me you are fortunate because you have not dealt with the worst that the west coast of America has to offer

#portland do be like this though... #miss y'all

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“she should be at the club” well i should be in the green house party paintings by salman toor

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ive gotten so much mileage out of this tweet. every time i see something on the internet that makes me mad i just think to myself "people in real life: hey man how's it going" and i keep it pushing

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the cashier at barnes & noble just gave me this duck at checkout and they said “i give these to children and people with a certain vibe.”

floored to know something about me aligns with this duck

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I’m so burnt out from work that this little rat making music has me crying on this fine Friday night

#hply shit

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love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

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Horniness is not intrinsically less pure than any other human motivation

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this would pull me too because i’ve been really into hot salsas lately and i need to talk to someone about it

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Went outside and saw a bat flying around. Then i saw a toad in the yard. Straight up like a witch’s brew out there . Stay safe

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if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean

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entering my florence + the machine era

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