therancid1

[therancid1]

[therancid1]

One important thing that you should do as a queer person is to find another queer person whose brain works just like yours (romantically or not) and then adopt a cat together and then finally steal that fucking Pikachu and make it big

[therancid1]

[therancid1]

i could get so much done in a day if i didnt decide my day was over at 4 pm. too bad theres no solution oh well

[therancid1]

I walked up to a restaurant entrance at the same time as this guy and he held the first door for me and then I held the second door for him and he said "we call that the Midwestern two-step" with a laugh and I've been thinking about it all day.

[therancid1]

message to de west:

get sillay

[therancid1]

people who put their gum under tables are wild animals they literally do not have higher level cognitive functions. they live in nature.

[therancid1]

they want you to make fried rice

[therancid1]

guys aren't comically getting their red heart covered boxers exposed after they get their pants pulled down anymore. Due to wokeness

[therancid1]

one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

[therancid1]

t-shirt that reads "BE SUSPICIOUS OF THAT WHICH IS LABELLED AS APOLITICAL" on the front and "NOTICE WHAT IS PERCEIVED AS EXPLICITLY POLITICAL" on the back

[therancid1]

I’ve always wanted to go to a house party like you see in movies but I never found out about any. Was too busy in the monastery where I was trained to kill

[therancid1]

confusing Odysseus and Orpheus is like confusing a liar and a lyre. send post

[therancid1]

btw i think if you tried to explain politics to Winnie the Pooh he wouldn't really get it & then if you went on explaining he'd be like 'why can't we all just be nice to each other' and you'd be like you got me there Pooh. I just don't know. :(

[therancid1]

Nice going man, you've become indistinguishable from that which you sought to destroy

[therancid1]

we all have our own crosses to bear. for example. sometimes i enjoy a panic at the disco song

[therancid1]

i will die without routine. also this routine is killing me