thetrashiestbaby

[thetrashiestbaby]

Tim, Damian, Dick, Jason

[thetrashiestbaby]

why yes you certainly are

[thetrashiestbaby]

He is such a mood.

[thetrashiestbaby]

Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.

Dick:

He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.

One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.

Jason:

Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.

So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.

Tim:

Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.

Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.

Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.

Damian:

Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.

"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".

Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.

Duke:

By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.

Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".

Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"

Cass:

Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.

[thetrashiestbaby]

no, jason did not have a fun patrol, and no he will not stop ranting about it, and yes he does want some comfort cookies, shut up!

inspired by a comedy bit! (timestamp 17:45)

[thetrashiestbaby]

When you forget one of your brothers is legally dead

[og post]

[thetrashiestbaby]

The batkids getting in trouble with the JL somehow when undercover or when using aliases and instead of... you know... the aliases... they give their siblings first names. Batman has gotten multiple calls from the JL where they'd be like

Green Lantern: Uh Bats we've got a 'Jason' in custody here he's asking for you.

Batman, panicking bc wtf did Jay do this time:

Tim: Hi!

Batman: You're not Jason.

Tim, dead serious: I don't know what you're talking about.

[thetrashiestbaby]

He is such a mood.

#he is me

[thetrashiestbaby]

Then Jason never kills again.

[thetrashiestbaby]

I choose to believe Jason's hip bone not healing properly in the pit is an Achilles heel situation. Like Talia held him by the hip when she dipped him in the pit and that's why he had the bone spur.

#I’m sorry what do you mean “held him bu the hip #I beg you to give more information #like I fully believe in talia but I do not think she could hold up a full teenage boy BUY HIS HIP

[thetrashiestbaby]

jason todd really got resurrected and thought “it’s time to traumatize him back” like teenage girls when they realize they can verbally abuse their fathers too

[thetrashiestbaby]

I, a Damian apologist think that this little boy did nothing wrong and I am so sorry they made him insufferable in the latest comics. I am so sorry sweetie.

By the way, I love them dearly. Especially the religious guilt Dick feels and the insanity of Tim Drake.

[thetrashiestbaby]

under the red hood au where everything is the same except jason wears this crop top when he reveals his identity to bruce.

also here is a red version:

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Half the time I'm like, "can we have jason todd media not all about his death"?

Then I realize. If I died I would never shut up about it.

"Can you get up and grab that for me?"- absolutely not. My legs are tired from death.

"Will you go to the store with me?"- leaving the house?!? What if I die AGAIN.

So yeah, anyone who thinks jason talks about his death too much. Be honest. We'd all do the exact same thing.

[thetrashiestbaby]

love how each pjo book takes place in the span of a week. so like every summer percy has one crazy week and then the rest of his year is normal

[thetrashiestbaby]

no, jason did not have a fun patrol, and no he will not stop ranting about it, and yes he does want some comfort cookies, shut up!

inspired by a comedy bit! (timestamp 17:45)

[thetrashiestbaby]