thewritekindofpain

[thewritekindofpain]

i hate myself so i need you to literally adore me to compensate

[thewritekindofpain]

fun little bpd things™

none of its fucken fun actually. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[thewritekindofpain]

My talents

Overthinking

Cutting people out of my life

Wanting to die constantly

Changing my personality everytime i am with different people

self sabotage

Anxiety and anger level over 90000 daily

Forgetting about the good things that people did to me and remembering only the bad ones

Hate level over 10000000000000…

Radically change opinions in 2 seconds

Hating myself

seeming on drugs when I’m just happy

Surviving everyday despite this fucking disorder

[thewritekindofpain]

something really great is when people notice something about you that you didn’t even notice about yourself. like, when they’re like “wow you really listen to that band a lot” or “you feel really strongly about that thing don’t you” and you’re like, do i..? oh shit you’re right i do

[thewritekindofpain]

[thewritekindofpain]

Things I wish you did:

Care about me enough to reply

That’s it

I just want you to be there when I’m reaching out

[thewritekindofpain]

Aubrey Plaza Explores ASMR - Parks and Rec

[thewritekindofpain]

My therapist: You can’t please everyone, some people might not like you and that’s okay

Me: *instantly starts having a panic attack*

[thewritekindofpain]

Could I be worthy of love the way I am?

Without adding extra links to my chain.

Without adding extra links to my shame.

As many broken pieces as I'm in

Can I be worthy of love like this

[thewritekindofpain]

This assumes that every splitting of two people is bad. It's not default bad to ask how someone is doing. It's fucking okay to check on people even if you aren't as close as you once were.

just in case you need to be reminded

dont check up on your ex partner

dont check up on your ex friend

dont do it

it is not productive

you are better than that

[thewritekindofpain]

2005 and myself would like to kindly invite you to put this opinion in the trash where it belongs

2012 was truly the PEAK of music. call me maybe? iconic. somebody that i used to know? iconic. what makes you beautiful? iconic. some nights? iconic. starships? iconic. whistle? iconic. everybody talks? iconic. party rock anthem? iconic. boyfriend? iconic. THE LIST GOES ON. we will never again experience a similar period of bop after bop.

[thewritekindofpain]

I wasn't gonna repost this, then I saw the The last part 😂

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thewritekindofpain]

Take a breath. Think this through. What are you? Second. No not even second. Third, fourth, fifth. Last. Breathe slowly. Think deeply. What are you? Everyone’s favorite rebound. Without them even realizing. A cheap hotel for feelings. A place to forget they were ever broken. Please excuse the ruined decor. Think clearly. Think. Disposable. Replaceable. Unwanted. I am called when needed. And left to rot when not. Please don’t forget to breathe. Of course you know how the story ends, the boy gets with the prettier friend. Irrational. Please breathe. Think clearly. Not needed. There’s always better, so why bother. If anyone really cared I wouldn’t be here wondering if they did. I wouldn’t have to wonder where I stand. Stop. You’re breathing too fast. Slow down. There’s no point in breathing when all I am is a ghost to everyone around me. A ghost who drifts and is summonsed when needed. Lonely and alone. Stop. Thinking.

[thewritekindofpain]

I feel like my heart is bird trapped in a cage I feel like you are caring for a bird You need this bird to feel less alone And my heart won’t leave its cage Because my heart can’t stand to break your heart Because I’d be miserable forever to avoid it Because you don't make cry Because you make me smile Maybe it's not your fault I'm so empty I can't break you just because I'm broken

[thewritekindofpain]

It grows and changes everyday It gets bigger and more consuming the pain You wake up and look at their face And you can't say for how many more days How many more times you get to wake up in this place It's like they ran away but didn't go anywhere It's like they love you but they don't really care They aren't gone but you're still alone They hear you talk but they don't ever listen And you're bitter in your anguish when you lean in to kiss him.

[thewritekindofpain]

I just glanced at myself in the mirror. I tried to smile. There's no way to mask this. I look miserable and I can't even hide it. I'm in no condition to be around people.

[thewritekindofpain]

My hands shook as I reached for the knob I cracked the door open and stumbled into the all but blinding light of the room. My body was weak, rattled. I’m not sure why I feel so sick and weak. Perhaps it’s the mental wreckage of listening to someone who doesn’t deserve the gift of the child completely spit at that miracle that life gave her. I never got mine. Just listening to it all drives me mad. A maddening hatred burns my gut for this woman, no she’s not a woman she’s a fucking child trapped in a woman’s body, who screams at her infant as if it can understand what it’s done wrong by simply being less than perfectly happy at all times. Regardless of its cause my body feels heavy with a sick weakness as I stumble through the small room to the chair where my beautiful lover laid resting. I sank to my knees and rested my head into his chest. His warmth is glorious. It washes over me and makes me feel safe. It’s not enough to erase the pain that could in my stomach and pulses behind my eyes but it’s plenty enough to numb it. I love this man.