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A letter to a friend

I know we’ve talked about it before here and there. Reading your post this morning brought up some thoughts. I have always called mine “thoughts of self-harm”. About 6 months before I met you, they were very intrusive. Everyday, several times a day. It’s like my brain was presenting me with a “viable” option for my stress. I’ve always had them. I remember them floating around when I was a teenager and it got bad in my early 20’s after an emotional break up. But they had subsided with time. They’d return periodically. Like an acquaintance checking in. They returned in an intrusive fashion a couple of years ago. They were with me all the time. I finally mentioned it to my therapist. We worked through it and I even took anti depressants for about three months. After 4 months, I’d forget to take it one morning, and forget another morning. Eventually, I realized I hadn’t taken them in 3 weeks, but I didn’t feel scattered, nor had my thoughts returned. They still make an appearance from time to time. If I get stressed, they’ll visit all damn day. But they haven’t been intrusive in some time.

When Anthony Bourdain died, there was a large facebook movement asking everyone to “check in on your strong friend”. While well intentioned, I think that is a bunch of bullshit. Your “strong friend” is usually that way because of their ability to compartmentalize their emotions, allowing their empathy to come forward, and their deepest feelings to be buried far away from the light. That friend looks strong because they are strong, and they are strong because they know that at the core, they are very fragile. I am proud to be known as the strong friend to many, but if asked how I am, I would never admit that these thoughts are present. Most people wouldn’t understand it and I, frankly, I don’t feel like explaining it to them. It took me over 20 years to tell my therapist. A few months later, I touched on it with my mom and I didn’t need to explain it. She is a strong woman. But that demon lives inside her as well. She may not have admitted it to me during that conversation, but the frankness of our conversation, and the understanding that she had tells me that she lives with them too.

One could say that it’s refreshing to know that we are not alone in our thoughts. I, however, take solace in the fact that your feelings about this match mine.

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Say it again for the people in the back, “That crew is probably exhausted and overworked”

One of my old partners got pulled in for an investigation today. The photo is not of him - it’s of a paramedic in California trying to eat something for the first time in nearly ten hours.

My old partner was told that a member of the public took photos of him and his current partner. My buddy was sleeping, and his partner was eating. This member of the public sent the photos with an email that both complained about how “unprofessional” it appeared - and a threat to send the photos to the media.

Thanks to Prop 11 in California, first responders no longer have a right to breaks. AMR lied to the public in a huge way. California was the only state where emergency crews had been granted a legal right to breaks to use the latrine and have a meal. Shifts run a minimum of 12 hours, often 24, and AMR runs their crews into the ground.

My buddy and his partner are in trouble because they were trying to get rest and food while posted on a street corner because we don’t get breaks. This is what AMR tells us to do. Please don’t see something like this and assume that we’re being lazy or not doing our jobs. Don’t take photos or send them to the press. That crew is probably exhausted and overworked.

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“Tumblr is, you’ve probably noticed, the dwelling place of so many beautiful souls: Broken ones, discouraged ones, beaten ones, fighting ones, dreaming ones, hoping ones, sharing and caring ones, sweet ones. If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of them.“”

—

Sereno Sky, author of the hippie novel “Lonely Traveller” 1 and 2 (via hippieseurope)

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Best demonstration ever 👍 #studyblr #medblr

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A spectacular sunset. Unfortunately the smoke from an out of control fire over 100 miles north of here is partially responsible for it.

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Dear Fellow Men...

A few times a week I receive messages from different guys and not “hey how are you? nice blog” messages. It’s always some dolt that is trying to find another tumblr hook up and not taking the time to realize who they are sending the message to. Now what I have learned is there are too many men making decent men look like idiots. Too many men say hello with a dick pic or an overtly aggressive come on. Too many men don’t even bother to look before hitting send. It’s sad to be honest.

So my question becomes how do you send a woman (or assumed woman) your dick, or a demand, or just the most offensive bullshit possible without at least making sure you are sending it to the appropriate sex?? Or taking thirty seconds to read someone’s description?? Or saying hello before being a pig??

No wonder so many women assume guys are mindless jerks. Fuck I’m a guy and I’m stuck shaking my head at my own kind.

Some important things to remember:

1. Just because a woman likes sex does not mean she’s easy or wants to be bombarded with random dicks and aggressive messages.

2. All men have dicks, at least introduce yourself before waving yours around like they’ve never seen one.

3. If you’re going to send someone your dick would it kill you to, I dunno, shave it? Clean it? Present it with some dignity. Too often you send some of the grossest looking shit and it baffles me.

4. If the best thing you have to offer is your dick that’s just disappointing.

5. Let’s try and have some manners. Let’s try and act like gentlemen. Let’s try and show the women of the world that not all men are assholes and pigs.

Well that’s the end of my rant….have a wonderful day folks…

Inkd😈

Ps. Pretty sure my blog looks and reads like a male run blog…I think😉😈

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The biggest obstacle I have has been my own thoughts

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Sweet CAKE❤️

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Midnight at the General

#emslife #ambulance #trauma center #backboard #ems