tinaysabella

[tinaysabella]

“My boy Spatula bunking down for a snowy night” 

(Source)

[tinaysabella]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! JANAYA KISS!!!!

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The Witches House AU, Naruto is too nice for his own good.🥀

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Oh shit!!!

🧄🧄🧄

🧅🧅🧅

My blog is gonna smell so delicious now!!!

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A sketch.🍥🍅

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did i fucking ask

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Sasuke, but working a 9-5 cashier job that he hates.🍅💸

[tinaysabella]

why the fuck do people act like visible disability is a privilege or preferable to being invisibly disabled i'm so sick of it

what part of getting stared at and glared at and bullied and called ugly and made fun of and treated like a monster and like you're gross and weird even by adults is a privilege what part of how everyone you see on tv who looks like you is either deeply evil or a joke is a privilege what part of people like you being seen as freaks and degenerates and mistakes of nature or pitiful and "so sad" and "suffering" is a fucking privilege what part of people seeing people like you and thinking and saying "oh, you shouldn't be alive" is a fucking privilege what part of people like you being seen as so unsightly you were by law completely excluded from society from 1867 until the fucking 1970s is a privilege what part of being seen by people as a fascinating oddity is a privilege? what part of even other disabled people fucking excluding you and people like you because you don't fit their perfect clean image is a privilege to you what part of people invalidating your suffering and trauma and experiences because they think living like you would make people treat them like a human being, when people actually do exactly the opposite, is a privilege to you what part of feeling like you're too ugly and too disabled to take selfies or wear cute clothes or have a partner because PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ABLEIST TO PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE YOU AND DON'T FIND YOUR FEATURES DESIRABLE OR ATTRACTIVE is a privilege to you

the part where you think you won't get gaslighted? the part where you think people won't give you unhelpful advice? the part where you think drs will take you seriously? the part where you think anyone will? where you think people are so nice and so compassionate and understanding and respectful and lavish people like you with gifts and love and endless admiration and you never get treated badly ever? where no one ever says "you're too young for that" or "i don't believe in x" or "it's all in your head"? where no one ever calls you lazy or says you just don't do enough, you're not trying hard enough, you can do it if you just try? this magical fucking fairyland you've created where you think being a wheelchair user or missing an arm or having a facial difference or "looking sick" or being cross eyed would make people be nice to you? where you get everything you want and everyone is always thinking of you and worrying about you, rushing to help you and accommodate you?

you know what happens when you "look sick"? people blame it on anemia and vitamin deficiencies and "you need to gain weight/eat more/eat more vegetables/drink more water/get more protein/it's because you..." they will blame it on everything other than chronic illness, even if you have a fucking medical device in or on your body, it doesn't matter, there's always something you're doing wrong or not doing or not doing enough.

when are you going to stop daydreaming.

if any other visibly disabled people with a different experience than mine would like to add your own experience, you are so, so, so fucking welcome.

invisible disability isn't a privilege either but a lot of the things you experience aren't as fucking unique as you think they are and being visibly disabled is not socially acceptable IN ANY WAY

[tinaysabella]

“ravens are symbols of death, demons, and the underworld”

x

[tinaysabella]

I am learning to imagine the future:

My sycamore tree began life in the gravel at the edge of a parking lot. If trees can feel pain, that is a painful, unlucky death. I carefully dug it up and put it in a pot I made out of a disposable cup.

Hello small one. This world may be cruel, but I will not be.

I decided to take care of it, not expecting it to survive, and when my sycamore tree unfurled one tiny leaf and then another, it chiseled a tiny foothold in my terrified brain, the kind of brain that doesn't remember a world before the atomic bomb and before 9/11.

I googled the lifespans of trees. My neurons had to stretch and expand to accommodate what I learned: My sycamore tree may live five hundred years. It's hard to think something so big. In twenty years, my baby sycamore tree will be three stories tall, and the home of many creatures. In five years, my sycamore tree will be taller than I am. In one year, it will be summer.

There's this concept called sense of foreshortened future where people who have lived through trauma can't conceptualize a future for themselves because deep down they don't expect to survive, When I look forward, all I see is fire and death, melting ice and burning sky. We were raised Evangelical. All we see is Judgment Day, except there is no heaven.

But now there is a tiny gap in the wall, a crack in the door of my cell

and on the other side, I see a tree

There is, in the future, a great old sycamore tree, full of clean winds and the stir of a thousand wings. A hundred years from now. Fifty years from now. There will be forests in that world. There will be a world.

It takes courage, but we have to imagine it.

Most tree species can live in excess of three or four hundred years. I think I'm learning something. I think there are ancient voices saying hello small one, touch the dirt and the leaves, for now you are part of something that cannot die

in 2030 I will be thirty years old and the world will not have ended and there will still be hummingbirds, and we will have photos of the stars more beautiful than we can now imagine.

I planted an Eastern Redcedar; they may live nine hundred years. There will be nine hundred years. The people in that time will remember us. Maybe we will meet the aliens (hi aliens!).

I will blow out the candles on many birthday cakes in a world where there are wolves in dark forests far from home. I am learning to imagine the future. I learned recently that elk were reintroduced to the Appalachian Mountains after over a hundred years of extirpation, and that they are expanding their range.

That tiny crack I can see through now opens a tiny bit more:

Maybe elk will pass through my hometown, maybe there will be a forest where the pasture is on the high hill that I can see from my home

say it, say it, say it: ten years, thirty years, a hundred years from now

I am learning to imagine the future. There is a crack in the wall of this prison, of this machine, of this darkness, and through it, I see a tree.

[tinaysabella]

[tinaysabella]

Art by Anna-Laura

[tinaysabella]

Heck yes, Ladies of Good Omens

Agnes Nutter, Anathema Device, Madame Tracy, Pepper

The Witches and the Warrior

Josie Lawrence, Adria Arjona, Miranda Richardson, Amma Ris.

[tinaysabella]

so this happened to me today

[tinaysabella]

A red flag in general is somebody having a "me against the world" attitude - IE, "oh, I'm a good person but nobody understands me, everyone is jealous of me, they all want to tear me down" etc., etc. People with strong spiritual beliefs sometimes extend this attitude beyond the physical or obvious world. You might hear something like, "I'm a higher dimensional being sent here to help the world ascend, and that's why all these demons, aliens, and government agents keep coming after me." Or it might be "I'm the Archangel Michael, and that's why Satan's always manipulating people into sabotaging me and getting in my way." Or maybe "I'm here to spread the truth of the Old Religion; those other people who told you I'm wrong are actually agents of the Vatican." People like this can have a very overwhelming presence because everything they're saying sounds so important. If you've never met anyone like this before, you might think, "wow, I should pay attention!" As this person keeps carrying on about how everyone is out to get them and stop their divine mission, you might feel more and more obligated to protect them and do everything you can to help them. One thing these people really can't tolerate is other points of view. You might see them bemoaning how the world is full of cold, heartless skeptics. You might see them trying to tear people down as arrogant or full of their own egos. They might accuse people of being possessed, manipulated, or full of ego over the tiniest of perceived disagreements. They'll invent elaborate conspiracies to explain why the world just doesn't agree with them. They basically want to live in a world where they have all the answers, or at least have all the answers that really matter.

This is why these people often end up starting cults, or at least try to. They want to create a social environment in which they are the ultimate arbiters of what's real and fake, what's good and bad, and so on. Again, if you haven't met a lot of people like this, it can be easy to get swept up in everything they're saying, because they sound like they really have an exceptional and important existence. But the thing is, people who make big grand spiritual claims really aren't all that uncommon. I've read about and encountered many, many people like this. Some prominent examples you can look into yourself include Sherry Shriner, Amy Carlson, and Ruth E. Norman.

Let's be real: All of these people who claim they're in the middle of some grand cosmic scheme can't all be right because so many of their claims conflict and preclude each other. And why should we think any of them are right when they all keep being wrong about things in pretty serious ways? And moreover, why should we let someone dictate our reality on the grounds of a claim any rando could make?

[tinaysabella]

👋 I like your shoelaces.

[tinaysabella]

sunrise / sunset