toasterfart

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some people like gritty realism. me? I like that slippery, slippery unhinged fantasy. low viscosity make-believe. well-oiled bullshit. lubed-up whimsy.

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A Stepmother's Märchen side story about Ludovika

#She's getting married to an emperor and is still playing with her boy toy #a stepmother's marchen #a stepmother's fairy tale

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You got your devious side from your mama

#a stepmother's marchen #a stepmother's fairy tale #Empress Ludovika #Theobald von Baden

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#Perfectly normal man

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you're someone's hated tumblr

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It’s cute when he gets all confident 🫣

#I be bare fist fighting Catti Brie in a Dennys parking lot over this man #what a man #I'd love him right #drizzt do'urden #legend of drizzt

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The first one is obvious: Rabbot

Strahd x Abbot is a bit harder, idk Strabbot, abahd, holy undead? Need to brainstorm some more ideas.

Hey, ao3

Hey, ao3 what used to be here

Ao3 what used to be here

Ao3, hey

#Rahadin x the Abbot #Who was cooking something bizarre with that tag and chickened out #curse of strahd

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i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.

then they started fighting Covid precautions.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.

now my parents think climate change is a myth.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.

then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.

now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.

you can guess who they voted for.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.

when did they forget?

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#I am pro more florence listeners but wtf is this #florence and the machine

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Something something vampires walking on walls

#Staeve wanted to recreate the spiderman scene astarion whinged while doing it secretly he was elated

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Dead page but I’ll bless you with this.

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Lae’zel is killing me because she’s like such a freak in so many ways and like we literally beat the shit out of each other and she’s so fucking into it and horny about it and I can push her down in the middle of camp after and just make out with her in the mud and blood from our fight in the middle of camp, and she is like soooo into it

But I ask her to just kiss me in public and she’s like “no I’m shy” and immediately turns into this 🥺

I love her

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#americas next top model #Elrond makes them do a race swap photo shoot Legolas has to be a dwarf

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average thursday in waterdeep

#Poor tara she deserves a raise #At least 5 pigeons a day #Gale of waterfeet