tomylovedones

[tomylovedones]

it's not fair, even when I'm out with the intent to have fun, something always comes and ruins it. its like as if i have to suffer. but I also brought it upon myself because of how anxious I got. the sooner I have an answer , the sooner I can get this pain overwith. I cry everyday, and get so anxious. it might be dramatic to say, but I feel like I'm slowly dying. something feels off and wrong. it's like as if my body is telling me I'm going to die soon, I'm going to die young.

all I feel is static and numbness, I want it to end. but I'm too much of a coward to end my life. I don't feel good. something feels really wrong.

I'm so desperate, it's sad. I should just shell off and cut the contact. if i pass, it will be easier for him and everybody. I don't think I've ever felt so useless and worthless in my life.

this is for my loved ones.

[tomylovedones]

06.18

they didn't even check in on me, and things aren't the same. i wasn't accepted into my future jobs either. right now, so many things are so unclear, especially my future. im tired

[tomylovedones]

i was told to make this and see if I feel better

i want to learn how to cope with things, and move on quickly. and how to not get in this manic state with every single inconvenience. i tend to suffer the most in problematic situations and I can feel my mental state deteorating with every passing day.