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“uwu... BEAN”

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my french prof: if you’re talking about a girl cat, you still have to use the masculine. “une chatte” is something… related to cats, but it’s inappropriate and you don’t have any reason to be using it in the context of this class. don’t use it anymore please

everyone for the next 10 minutes: pussy? oh, pussy? pussy? is it pussy? pussy? pussy? pussy? pussy? pussy?

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one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying

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kid in a cartoon: (breaks their piggy bank to get the money)

me:

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The year is 9

Some motherfucker be touching cow tits, and oh boy, he’s about to invent cereal

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when I tell you I SCREAMED

#ahslflslhaksndj

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she was shook

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I love the sims because I love architecture, interior design, and playing god

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this emoji is supposed to be like a beating/racing heart but i always like to think of it as a satellite heart like it’s radiating love and sending it out to everyone

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Gnomeo and Juliet AU where they’re humans living in 14th century Italy

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the moment i learned that avril lavigne is straight was a top 10 anime betrayal i mean have you seen 2002 avril