totallypathet

[totallypathet]

Captain, facing the window: Ah, Alison. I've been expecting you.

Alison: How did you know it was me?

Captain: The first five times it wasn't.

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[totallypathet]

speechless. the pose. the expression. this should be a painting.

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Watched all of The Change a comedy by Bridget Christie who created/wrote it as well as starring in it as Linda, a woman going thro' the menopause. She leaves her husband + family behind and moves to live in the forest to find herself. I liked it, it has this weird, witchy almost folk horror vibe to it which I thought made it stand out from other similarly themed shows. And she had a great supporting cast.

[totallypathet]

no thoughts just bridget christie in the change (2023)

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I can't be the first to make this connection

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happy pride month to every bbc ghosts fan because i know there isn’t a straight cis person among us

[totallypathet]

hi im complaining about tiktok again and i know this has been said a million times but i despise how the self-censorship that got really popular on there is quickly becoming the norm. why is my podcast that i listen to that is by and for adults and swears regularly censoring the word "sex" in its episode descriptions on spotify, a platform where they dont even censor officially uploaded song titles for songs like "fuck the pain away." why are there book blurbs using "unalive" completely in earnest. why are people on twitter writing s3x. youtubers can at least handwave having to bleep terms like "heroin" bc that's specifically a youtube problem but why in an era where everyone is handwringing about how everything is Literally 1984 do people not seem to care about grown adults gleefully regressing into homestuck typing quirks and ugly babytalk

[totallypathet]

people are so much more obsessed with feeling like or being told that they are a good person than actually having any ethical fortitude whatsoever, so they find it completely impossible--when a fault is pointed out to them--to go, "oh, i hadn't thought about that. my bad." which would often be literally all that's reasonably expected.

and instead they double down with the attitude of "how dare you suggest i'm a bad person!!" because that's how they interpret, "this behavior is harmful" and end up being worse than the original offense.

please just grow up! swallow your fucking pride, learn that you do not in fact know everything, and that sometimes you make mistakes. and when people point out those mistakes in good faith they are generally just trying to reduce harm by helping you not to make that same mistake again.

i know there are a lot of disingenuous people out there who just like to chase clout and pile on and will use anything as a tool to do that, but you cannot just close yourself off to all criticism because of it! you cannot just assume that you are never wrong and someone is always out to get you or else you will genuinely become a shitty person because you'll cut off all room to grow!

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if cats aren’t meant to be kissed on their heads then what’s that little space between their ears for

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"There are old poops who will say that you do not become a grown-up until you have somehow survived, as they have, some famous calamity -- the Great Depression, the Second World War, Vietnam, whatever. Storytellers are responsible for this destructive, not to say suicidal, myth. Again and again in stories, after some terrible mess, the character is able to say at last, 'Today I am a woman. Today I am a man. The end.' When I got home from the Second World War, my Uncle Dan clapped me on the back, and he said, 'You're a man now.' So I killed him. Not really, but I certainly felt like doing it. Dan, that was my bad uncle, who said a male can't be a man unless he'd gone to war. But I had a good uncle, my late Uncle Alex. He was my father's kid brother, a childless graduate of Harvard who was an honest life-insurance salesman in Indianapolis. He was well-read and wise. And his principal complaint about other human beings was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy. So when we were drinking lemonade under an apple tree in the summer, say, and talking lazily about this and that, almost buzzing like honeybees, Uncle Alex would suddenly interrupt the agreeable blather to exclaim, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.' So I do the same now, and so do my kids and grandkids. And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

— Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country (2005)

[totallypathet]

I am so happy that the Barbie movie seems to be fully embracing the girlyness and sillinesss and overall Barbieness of Barbie. So much content these days that is either aimed at young girls, or based off of something that was aimed at young girls, is so embarrassed of the girl part of it. Corporations will try to make it more “progressive,” but in doing so they suck all the fun and joy and girlyness out of it, because they believe that diversity can only be corporate and boring.

If they’re making a mature adaptions, it becomes sad, bland, and grimdark, and it’s filled with 4th wall breaking jabs at the original that make fun of the girlyness and fun it had, like this muddy grey slog of self serious dialogue and butchered characters is any better. If it’s meant for girls and made now, it just doesn’t have any fun to begin with. All the characters walk the perfect line of girly but not too girly and diverse in a mandatory power point presentation from HR way that shows demand.

As much as we can tell so far, this movie does not do any of that!! They’re all named Barbie and Ken and the Barbies have 100 million jobs and the Ken’s are just there!! They all have great outfits and high heeled feet and bright pink cars and neon yellow rollerblades!! They’re wonderful girly plastic dolls who cannot conceptualize what sex is because they’re smooth and genital-less and they’re embracing that!! They’re finding the humor in it, not by making fun of it, but by wearing the funny parts proudly on their sleeve!! It’s not based on being ashamed of Barbie but absolutely loving it!! That’s what unabashedly girly material should be!!

[totallypathet]

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

[totallypathet]

[totallypathet]

honestly, why is the only language we have for sexual trauma that of rape and assault? there are so many kinds of sexual trauma that are done a genuine disservice by trying to grapple with them using the language of rape.

there's "i consented to this for self-destructive reasons," there's "i didn't know what i was consenting to because i didn't have enough experience to tell that i would be upset by this thing," there's "i initiated something that i now regret," there's dozens, even hundreds, of sexual situations that are traumatic and that need community support and care and some real trauma work to heal from, that just aren't accurately described by the language we have to discuss rape.

and like, trying to shoehorn them in under the umbrella of rape and assault often does a disservice to the victims trying to heal--trying to cast a sexual partner as a malicious perpetrator retroactively is often really psychologically damaging to someone who is experiencing a complex trauma around an experience they consented to, especially when the trauma victim themselves initiated the experience.