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remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

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Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

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this is APPARENTLY a HOT FUCKING TAKE but

i would rather someone live out the rest of their life dependent on or addicted to a pain medication that helps with their pain, than suffer in pain that could be helped for the rest of their life just so self-righteous dicks can say "thank god they're not an addict"

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wut

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the right hairstyle for your face is the one that makes you smile when you see yourself in the mirror btw.

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I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

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before my dnd session yesterday i googled "sexy evil wizard" in order to find an avatar to use during the game and this has been every tumblr ad i've seen on my dash for a solid 24 hours now

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I could NOT be in feudal Japan. Here are some reasons why

I wasn’t born then.

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never forget when saruman literally told gandalf "you've been smoking too much weed bro"

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sunlight

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vampires have been drinking human blood for centuries they don't give a fuck about guys on eight different antidepressants. they were sucking on asbestos factory workers

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vampires have been drinking human blood for centuries they don't give a fuck about guys on eight different antidepressants. they were sucking on asbestos factory workers

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