trainwreck07-blog

[trainwreck07-blog]

This is what happens when you try to take a selfie with a vicious Pitbull! #mansbestfriend #pitbull #justbecause #selfie #selflove #lovemydog #kisses

[trainwreck07-blog]

Really

So my wife just told me she wants to hurry up and get a job so we can get separated...... FML #heartbreak

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Wtf

This marriage thing is hard! #advice #help #marriage #wifeisgoneagain #imonehellofadadandhusband

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Hmmm

Looks like it's just me and the kids again tonight. I asked the wife if she wanted to go bowling and take the kids and have some fun. She said it was too cold, now she's at the bowling alley with her girlfriend getting her drink on! #help #advice #wife #husband

[trainwreck07-blog]

What could go wrong went wrong

I really don’t know where I should start; I decided that I was going to start to log my experiences trying to reconnect with my wife. It turned sour and has transformed into me logging my wife slowly leaving. And at this point I really can’t say that she is slowly leaving me, because the more I dig into the lie the more I learn the speed she is heading, and holy crap nuggets it’s fast. My normal medium of expression is through visual art, but it would be hard for me express all these emotions I have right now. I am currently stuck in a haze of anger, sadness, fear, betrayal and absolute heartbreak not knowing which way is up or down. One reason I wanted to write this, is I have no one to talk to. I know some people here but it’s all her people, her family, her friends and I’m extremely lonely. We recently moved to Michigan to be closer to her family leaving everything I’ve known for the past 27yrs, the town I grew up in, and friends I made in middle school through college and into my adult life. I was ok with moving because I love her so much. I figured if we moved to her hometown maybe, just maybe, that would make her happy again, which I hoped would make me happy again. I still remember the first time she walked through the door of the restaurant I bartended at, she was beautiful and still is. It was great, late nights kicking back brews, talking till the sun came up. There was never enough time. It was new and fun and we always touched and laughed. She had only one child at the time and I came to love that girl as if my own. We began building family from miracles, one after another till we had three fantastic kids. I wish I could say that it’s always been perfect, it hasn’t, and she’s as mean as a rabid junkyard dog sometimes. Three great kids, the best job I’ve ever had, and a new life in an unknown world for me, it started out good. We’ve been in Michigan now for just under two years and I guess being home has finally gotten to her. We haven’t been on a date since we moved here; I haven’t been intimate with my wife in years at this point. Recently she has been going out with her friends quite frequently, and posting some pretty inappropriate behavior and then removing them after she thinks about it a little. She used to rag on my sister-in-law for doing that kind of stuff before we found out she was cheating on my brother. Over the past few months she’s just been acting odd, and we have always had the passwords for everything out in the open, no secrets and nothing to hide. I’ve always been fine with that cause she has always been my world. But my world crashed down on me last Tuesday. Now I guess it’s time to get us to that day. But we will start before her trip to meet her brother for the first time in 30+ years. We have been saving and taking loans to help her get to her brothers retirement party for a while now, we even sacrificed cable and Wi-Fi. No problem, it was for a good cause. She was running around the night before she left in a pretty good mood, constantly messaging a “Friend” of hers that works at the airport. Ignoring me and the children, so caught up in her messaging, she didn’t realize the smiles and lip bites she gave her phone that I happened to notice. I tried to get on her messenger and surprise, she changed her password. I wasn’t going to kick to much a fuss just before she was set to leave, so I asked her for it, and she gave it to me. I didn’t even try to look in it, just kept it in for later. Maybe go in and write a huge post of how much I miss my husband, or some funny meme she would laugh at. That’s what most of our “hacks” consisted of. So the next morning I drop her off at the airport 2hrs away at 6am, so getting up that early was hell. Drop her off, go home with the kids and cook breakfast. I try to text and call her a few times and no response, hmm odd, I noticed she’s all over Facebook but won’t answer calls or texts. I figured I would try her messenger, well damn, password changed again! So that’s just straight messed up at this point. I still try not to kick a huge fuss (she would have my rear if I did this by the way) but I was pissed and texted her asking why she changed it and what her new password was…… the kids and I didn’t talk to her for 5 days! I had children crying on my lap asking why mommy won’t answer the phone or call us back. I have no way to answer that; I wish I did at that point. I did leave her alone for the first couple of days until it hit a disrespectful wall of “she is straight ignoring me and our children” I started the calls on day 3. No answer except one, she was going into a restaurant at 9am, she said she would call us back and nothing for two more days. The day she was headed to the airport I still hadn’t talked to her and had no clue what time she was coming in. I knew there were two flights into the airport from Missouri. 5pm and 8pm, I was ready to show up and hang till she got there. She finally calls me on her way to the airport to tell me her girlfriend Rachel was picking her up. A slight relief to not have to sit in Detroit traffic any longer than I have too, but I was mad as hell but still happy she was coming home. When she got in she refused to hug or kiss me and then proceeded to tell me how tired she was and she went to bed. I stayed up with the kids even though I had to work the next morning, I had told them I would likely be late seeing as though I figured she would be home late we would talk and hang for a bit. The next morning I got up, got the kids situated, and went up to say by to the wife and let her know the kids were wide awake and destroying the house. Her phone had just stopped ringing and I picked it up and she had changed her passcode for her phone….. that has been the same 4 digit pin for as long as I can remember, the bigger kids could get in and play games if they wanted, but something has changed. She shoots out of a dead sleep with the look of sheer terror and fear on her face, snatched the phone out of my hands. I at that moment knew my wife was headed out the house with one foot out the door. I asked for her password and her reply was “I would rather a divorce!” so I knew there was something she was hiding. Nobody goes through that much security and password changes unless you are hiding something, right? I had to go to work because I already took three of my five vacation days so she could go and I didn’t have any money. Work was rough, could not stop thinking about what could be in there, but whatever it was it is likely to destroy my marriage. Took me a few days to get a battle plan and figure out what I needed to do. Every time I would ask about that she would say that she was tired of being controlled, which is hilarious cause I am so laid back its not even funny and she has control issues. What was on that damn phone? I was on a mission at that point, I would figure out what is going on.so I chilled and let her go do her thing and get marriage advise from a woman who sleeps with married guys. I finally got smart and started going through phone call and text logs, everything was normal except one number. She has a small group she deals with, so it was easy to figure out who is who. I knew a majority of the numbers because I have them too, except the one that starts at 7:34AM the morning I dropped her off at the airport and continued from March 30th to April 5th when there seemed to be a break. I had a feeling based on it being a Detroit number, I knew who it was. Do I think she cheated on me? No, but when you start hiding things from your husband you say you love, it definitely becomes shady. I truly think it started out innocent and somethings must have been traded that made her feel the need to hide it all and become extremely defensive if any of it was brought up. I hadn’t mentioned too much about it, I figured I would wait and see what happens. I asked who was the dude she talked to, and I always got a “There is NO FUCKING DUDE!” so I sat back and waited. On April 10th right after I made dinner and fed my family she sat on the couch and was just texting away, I requested the text log and found that she had been sitting on our couch texting him again. Which I can say he at this point, because I called the number blocked and a guys with a super deep voice answered. I can’t lie, I kind of lost my mind and asked who she was talking to? She tells me it was her girlfriend, but I see the log and the log don’t lie. I yell about her lying to me and she gets mad when I call him again and leave a voice mail. she denied it for a couple days until I found his name attached to the number, and I was right on who it was, and texted her a screen shot of it all. She isn’t the type to sit and talk so as of me writing this she is mad at me for looking up the call and text logs. She’s embarrassed I would think, but her being backed into a lie brings the claws out. There is so much more that I will be getting off my chest so ……… any feedback will be taken graciously. #wife #husband #losingher #love #hurt #shewantstobesingle #goodman #help #advice