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guys. listen. unexpectedly not-repressed dex. 

like. mans was a stoner in high school. has a few piercings through his punk phase. definitely had a few boyfriends in high school. didn’t give a fuck about homophobes in his town because he’s 6′2 and 200lbs of muscle. 

grew out of his phases right before he went to Samwell and now he just sees him self as “a normal guy” and describes himself that way when asked, but the rest of the team sees this as his white privilege popping off. 

but like. when the team finds out that dex was, dare I say, cool and edgy back in Maine, they lose their shit. 

like? he schools them about good weed? casually mentions his high school flings later on? (like dex was never not-out, the team is just oblivious). puts jewelry in his piercings sometimes so they dont close up?

they cant handle this dex. they were so wrong. hes so cool. 

and Nursey is so in love. 

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fics where bitty is like a normal person who gets a normal person job after college and jack doesn’t drop his name when he comes out so no one outside really intense sports fandom/media people really know who he is and then his co-worker is like “hey we’re gonna go to the falcs game this weekend!” and he’s like “oh so am i” “oh really? what seats ya got?” and bitty’s just like OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHI– “i meant the other game i gotta go”  

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but wheres my canon jp kisses

#........ #kent parson #jack zimmermann #pimms

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Can't believe Ngozi invented hockey

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dOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THIS???? (context: these notes from Post I: Roadie, in which N details what would happen if Jack had seen Bitty with Senor Bun on the bus) BECAUSE I JUST DISCOVERED IT AND IM CRYING

#oh..... my gosh??

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REAL TALK

as much as we headcanon jack chirping bitty into the next millennia about how sensitive he is to cold, i feel like we should have an equal but opposite discourse surrounding how endeared jack is that bitty gets cold so easily. bro is canadien, he THRIVES in cold, at this point in his life he’s basically a walking talking human heater. dude probably finds it hopelessly charming that bitty wears thick baggy sweaters and fuzzy knit socks from september 1st, 12:00AM until basically may 31st 11:59PM. he lives for cuddling bitty, lives for a good snuggle. jack snugglemonster zimmermann. just. let jack be a clingy octopus. let bitty love it. please.

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Shitty: Does anybody remember… I haven’t been to Olive Garden in many moons, but they do have, like, a little, like, fettuccine bottle that you can just grab ‘em out of and chew–hold on, was this a prank you guys pulled on me when we went to Olive Garden as frogs?! No, stop, everybody shut up! Do they give you raw fettuccine to chew on in the lobby of the Olive Garden?

Jack: No!

Shitty: You fuckin’ bastards!

Ransom: Yaaay!!!

Holster: The Prestige!

Ransom: And now you have IBS! We got him!

Shitty: What I need you two to understand is that was not the only time I went to Olive Garden. There were–

Ransom: Were there never employees around like–

Holster: *hysterical high-pitched laughter*

Shitty: I, wanting to seem like an authentic metropolitan diner, would always grab the fettuccine and walk over to my friends like, “Mm, yeah, I’m a little peckish.” I fucking can’t believe you did that and I can’t believe literally I’m finding out in the worst imaginable venue.

Holster: Speaking as a former Olive Garden employee, if I saw a grown man eating raw fettuccine, the odds of me stopping them are negative one thousand percent.

#a mcelroy check please crosover #do i post this to my mcelroy sideblog or my check please sideblog????

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jack is trying his best ok

based off of x

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-Eros-

#tell me this isnt nursey

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via Stars Twitter

Tyler Seguin, the most adorable.

#HES BABEY #irl hockey

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please spit in my general direction

#im #MOOD

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PR!Bitty aus are ones where I’m thinking “most likely the falcs won’t force jack to make a social media account because there are high profile players who don’t have twitter” but i’m MOSTLY thinking “HE THINKS THE NEW PR GUY IS CUTE YESSSSSS”

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lets ignore what happens next and focus on how soft this lax chad is holding whiskey’s face

#look how happy& relaxed whiskey looks like.. #this is the most laid back we’ve ever seen him

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me going into the update:

me after the update:

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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand hockey. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of advanced statistics most of the games will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Sidney’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Sid&Geno truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the intelligence in Sid’s existential catchphrase  "why don’t you fight him?“ which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Gary Bettman’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Sid & Geno tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid

#IM

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Gotta got new meme for y’all, come and get it!

#.............. #and thats that on that