traumalimbo

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hold on a second man…

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Lmfao as a religious trauma survivor and a product of Christian fundie indoctrination myself I am in full support of calling fandom wank "purity culture" and the use of the word "puriteen" as well actually.

It perfectly encompasses what purity culture was. It wasn't just about "no sex before marriage"; it policed every fucking thing you did and forced you to walk on eggshells your entire life so your Magical Sky Daddy didn't clutch His heavenly pearls at your naughty behaviours.

Holding hands with someone you weren't married to? Gateway to sin. Making eyes at someone of the opposite sex? Gateway to sin. Thinking "impure" thoughts about someone else? Thoughtcrime Gateway to sin. Wearing the "wrong" type of clothes? Listening to the "wrong" kind of music? Having the "wrong" sort of values? Enjoying the "wrong" kind of media? All of it was seen as a stepping stone toward being a sinful godless heathen (and to some people it was essentially just as bad).

And it wasn't enough to just avoid BadWrong Behaviours, either. In my ex-community you were expected to express your disapproval of it and be well versed in the theological how's and whys. Does any of that sound familiar?

Purity culture at its core is so much more than "wear this purity ring and pinky promise to Jesus that you'll never have sex until you're married" and if you didn't realise that while you were there you weren't paying attention.

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I WILL BE GOOD AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME, 1/28/24

image from wikimedia commons

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I understand the "I will die for you" ship dynamic, but what about the "I will not let you die, I will not let myself die- we will, at any cost, survive" kind of couple?

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What is the point in being so mean and bitter… unfortunate how so many ppl are like this 24/7

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Even if the abuse didn’t “feel bad” at the time, it was still abuse. And you are still allowed to feel whatever you feel about it. 

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Just a visitor 042424

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me. me when a poem says something ive felt before

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It’s all eating me alive but it’s fine I’m fine everything is going to be fine

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one day i will learn to let go of people who have long let go of me

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I am a trainwreck of a human being but id make a good cat

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No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

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Pierce The Veil - Even When I’m Not With You

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Fall Out Boy - Fake Out

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i rlly hope it gets easier soon bc i am fucking losing my mind