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Is life supposed to be this hard?

Because I look around and everyone else looks happy. So why am I not happy.

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Promises you must make to yourself (and keep) when it's time to detach with love

I will stop trying to control anyone but myself.

I will set boundaries with this person, and I will not rescind those boundaries.

I will make those boundaries clear.

I will not give in to temper tantrums, threats, tears, bargaining, guilt trips, or other manipulative tactics. Instead, I will walk away.

I will stop doing things for them that they are capable of doing for themselves, and should be doing for themselves.

I will stop "loaning" them money I know I'm never going to get back.

I will let them be responsible for their own lives, and their own choices, and I will take responsibility for mine.

If it's necessary, I will remove myself and any children and/or pets from the household, and I will get us to safety.

I will prioritize my safety and well-being, and the safety and well-being of any children or pets.

I will not cover and lie for this person anymore.

I will no longer defend or make excuses for their unacceptable behavior.

I will prioritize my needs over their wants.

I will know that I am doing this because I love them and care about them, and I will absolve myself of guilt.

I will cultivate a support system of my own.

I will absolve myself of responsibility for their happiness, their life choices, their behavior, their words, and their responsibilities.

I will regulate my emotions when they try to dysregulate me. I will not lose my cool, no matter how much they agitate me.

If I cannot deescalate them, I will walk away.

I will absolve myself of responsibility for their feelings. I will let them be mad. Or sad. Or whatever else.

I will not bail them out of legal trouble.

I will not bail them out of any other kind of trouble or crisis.

I will no longer give this person second, third, fourth, fifth, hundredth chances they don't deserve.

I will accept that the situation is what it is, and I will stop trying to minimize or deny how bad it is.

I will accept that I cannot change or control them, and I will stop trying to do so.

I will find a sense of meaning, identity, and purpose outside of my relationship with them, or feeling "needed" or "wanted" by them, or anyone else.

I will let them face the consequences of their behavior, and I will absolve myself of responsibility for those consequences.

I will know and understand that I have done my best, and I cannot help someone who won't help themselves.

I will know that, no matter how much they may protest otherwise, I am not being selfish.

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You know that idealized version of yourself that haunts you with guilt about what you haven't yet become?

They didn't show up.

They don't deserve your praise.

The you who is reading this made it here, despite everything.

This you is the garden worthy of your love and effort.

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@NYC_BRNDN

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self care sundays

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~ credits aren't necessary, only consider liking/reblogging if you use ♡

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i don’t know who needs to hear this today, but

you can always start again

you can change your mind

it won’t be always like this

your worth doesn’t depend on your looks

your character is what matters the most about you

you deserve to be seen

you still have time to figure things out, some people just pretend they did

your best is your best and sometimes it varies

you matter too

you need you, always remember this

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instead of focusing on what’s out of your possibilities, focus your energy on things you can control:

how you treat yourself and your body

how you react and treat people

how and where you spend your money

where you give your time, attention and energy

the people and environments you surrender yourself with

what you do in your lazy time

how you express yourself and your thoughts

what you consume online

what you commit yourself to

your hobbies and interests

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You still have time to change!

(Words sewn into a leaf)

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be gentle with your body / mind / soul

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listen to your heart! journaling ideas

emotional check-in: write about your current feelings. no judgment, no editing, no need to be aesthetically pleasing, just let your heart be free so you can understand what’s truly going on.

core values: list your core values and how they align with your decisions and choices you make. are you staying true to these values?

dreams and ambitions: be specific and detailed about what you desire, no matter how big or small. consider why you have these dreams, how important they are and how they make you feel.

barriers: journal about the barriers you find that are stopping you from following your heart. can they be owned or outlined? are they impossible to move? what can you do to achieve something similar?

heart healing: think about the time when your heart was broken (not only romantically). write about the experience and how you healed or about your ongoing healing. what lessons did you learn from that?

letters from the heart: write a letter to yourself or someone else about what you’ve been holding back. will you write about love, forgiveness, angriness or some truth?

heart vs head: explore a decision where your heart and head were in conflict. how did you solve the problem? were you satisfied?

gratitude: list things that you’re deeply grateful for. focus how each one touches your heart and the emotions you feel towards them.

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