I SWEAR my haunted manor isn’t a trap for waifish young men. Yes I know they can’t resist the allure of the silk bedsheets but I promise I am NOT trapping them here and using their bodies in my experiments. STOP asking me about the mad science lab in the basement. You know I’m sensitive about that!
[said with all the reassuring sincerity of a campaign promise and all the concerning potential of someone who is nearing the event horizon of instability] babygirl. i can humiliate myself in ways you can't even begin to imagine.
actually your characters should be pure wish fulfillment and your writing should be entirely self indulgent and it should all be very, incredibly, undeniably horny.