'CAUSE YOU KNOW ITâS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING, DONâT YOU LET ME FALLÂ â BECHLOE.
TAGGING â Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell.
LOCATION â Apartment.
TIME FRAME â 3/9, evening.
WARNINGS â None.
NOTES â Beca and Chloe have The Feelings Talk.
CHLOE BEALE
Although Chloe had really wanted to talk about the things both she and Beca had said at the club the other week, the timing always seemed to be off. And it was okay, it wasnât like things were exactly awkward between them; Chloe knew Beca needed time, sheâd just ended a five year relationship, so she wasnât going to push. As long as they were okay, she was fine with pushing her feelings aside to maybe bring up at a later date.
But then the awkward massage had happened, and Chloe had walked into the bathroom to see Beca doing...that. And suddenly it felt like it wasnât something they couldnât really put off anymore.
It was a sensitive topic, though. Feelings were sensitive, and Chloe had spent the last day trying to figure out how to bring it up in a way that wouldnât have Beca running for the hills. Still a little lost in her head, she knew sheâd been quieter than usual today, and as she laid in bed staring down at her twitching fingers where her hands rested over the top of the covers, she wondered if now might be a good time to just rip the bandaid off. They were in bed for the night, it wasnât like Beca could really run.
âBecâŠâ she began quietly, not bothering to turn to look at her. She instead continued to focus on her hands. âI donât want things to be weird with us, but I feel like they kind of are.â Despite herself, she turned her head to glance in Becaâs direction. âI wasnât going to say anything about what happened at the club, at least not yet. But things felt off yesterday, and I feel like maybe itâs something we should talk about.â
BECA MITCHELL
In true Beca Mitchell fashion, sheâd done everything in her power to force down those pesky feelings--both the very real and borderline inappropriate feelings for her best friend along with the awkward ones surfacing because she had no idea how to handle them.Â
The massage was a mistake. Beca wished she wouldâve realized how⊠intense it would feel, and she was nowhere near ready to process how that simple back rub affected her.Â
She knew they needed to talk. She knew this just wouldnât go away, much as she wished it would. Though Chloe promised theyâd stay friends no matter what, Beca couldnât shake the fear of losing her.Â
So she had a feeling Chloe would bring it up eventually. It didnât mean she felt ready to talk about it, but here they were. âYeah,â she agreed with one word to all of the above. Things had gotten weird. Things felt off. They should talk about it. Beca remained on her back as well, eyes up on the ceiling as she blindly picked at a loose thread on the blanket. She knew Chloe was probably expecting more words from her in that moment, but the fact that sheâd agreed to even talk about it was a miracle in and of itself.
CHLOE BEALE
If anything, Chloe was kind of expecting Beca to turn away, or to pretend to be asleep or something, so the one word response was more than sheâd counted on. It surprised her, in fact, the realization that she was actually agreeing, and while Chloe knew she was probably going to have to do most of the talking here, she hadnât actually prepared what exactly she was going to say. âYeah?â she echoed, sweeping her gaze over Becaâs side profile, before turning to face the ceiling again. âOkay. UmâŠâ her mouth twisted as she thought over what she wanted to say, but instead her words came out as a questionâa big question, one she was positive Beca probably wasnât ready to answer. âBec, how do you actually feel?â
BECA MITCHELL
How do you feel. The worst question Beca could possibly be asked ever. But this was Chloe asking, so she couldn't deflect. She didn't want to deflect, much as this scared the shit out of her. "UmâŠ" Puffing out a hard breath, Beca licked her lips in an effort to provide moisture there. "High key terrified." There. She'd ripped the band-aid off. (So why was she still internally freaking out?)
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe had never had to have this kind of a talk before. Outside of her high school boyfriend, sheâd never really had feelings for anybody, at least nobody that mattered. So, this was new territory for her, and the same way Beca was apparently terrified, so was she. She let out a quiet chuckle, not even thinking about it as she slipped her hand from where it rested over the covers to instead gently take Becaâs hand. She was handsy in general, but maybe right now she just kind of needed the comfort. âThatâs not what I meant.â Her volume lowered a little. âI meant it when I said that we would always be okay, but I donât know how to pretend you didnât say you...felt something.â She paused, chewing on the inside of her cheek. âYou were drunk at the club, and you were really sad the next day, so if thatâs all it was, just a drunk sad thing, then thatâs okay⊠but I donât think thatâs what it is for me.â
BECA MITCHELL
With anyone else on the planet, Beca wouldâve yanked her hand away. Not Chloe, though. Again--Chloe always played by her own set of rules with Beca. And finally, after⊠god, how many years? Beca started understanding why.Â
âWish I remembered exactly what I said and how I said it,â she mumbled, though Chloe had given her the gist of course. Keeping her eyes on the ceiling above, Beca summoned her courage. âWasnât just a drunk thing. Or a sad thing. Or a drunk sad thing.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Although her heart had begun to race kind of uncomfortably and Chloe didnât really count on that slowing anytime soon, her body was able to relax at least a little bit when Beca didnât immediately pull her hand away. Her thumb began to brush softly over Becaâs fingers. âI remember what you said,â she hummed quietly, the confessions having replayed on a seemingly continuous loop in her mind ever since. âAnd how you said it. In a very drunk voice, right here,â she pointed with her free hand toward her ear, âright in my ear.â Her head turned to glance toward Beca, gaze sweeping over her face. âThen what was it?â
BECA MITCHELL
Becaâs gulp was audible. Just the thought of her whispering confessions into Chloeâs ear shot a rush of warmth through her body, pinkening her skin. âUm, so.â Beca cleared her throat. âIâm not totally sure what it is? Thatâs whatâs scary about it. Itâs⊠different than I felt for Jesse, but definitely just as important? And more intense.â Wincing, she cut a glance to Chloe. âShit. Sorry. I donât mean to, like--compare you and him. I justâŠâ She blew out a puff of air. âI donât know how else to explain it.â And she was doing a shitty job as it was.Â
CHLOE BEALE
Despite the way her jaw clenched for half a second at the mention of Jesse, Chloe understood it. It was normal for Beca to compare them; he was her ex boyfriend, after all. Probably the last person sheâd felt something for. âItâs okay,â she promised, meeting Becaâs quick gaze. No, she didnât particularly want to think about Jesseâhonestly, Chloe still felt kind of guiltyâbut something about Becaâs words caused a warm feeling inside of her. âI think itâs more intense because Iâm your best friend.â And if something went badly between them, thereâd be more to lose, but Chloe opted not to verbalize that particular thought. Instead, she just continued to watch her carefully. âYou know that Iâm still your best friend, right? Even if we look at each other a different way sometimes, Iâm still going to be your best friend. You donât lose that.â
BECA MITCHELL
Her jaw clenched and she managed a jerky nod, searching Chloeâs eyes. âYou promise?â Her lower lip caught between her teeth for a beat. ââCause thatâs what keeps me awake at night. My stupid feelings⊠fucking up everything we are because I inevitably do something dumb or make things too weird.â Sheâd verbalized that fear during her breakdown in the shower, but she needed to say it again. Clearly this time.
CHLOE BEALE
âPinky promise,â Chloe nodded, twisting her hand to wrap her pinky finger around Becaâs. She understood the fear, it was something she felt herself, but there was something so calming, so strangely reassuring about just lying here and taking comfort from Becaâs eyes, it was suddenly kind of hard to feel too scared. âI mean, I think youâre kind of weird anyway,â she added quietly, pulling her lips inward to bite back her small smirk. âBut Iâm weird, too. And I think thatâs one of the things I like best about you.â She paused to properly digest Becaâs words. âI donât think youâd do anything stupid, because I think you care too much to do that. And I donât think your feelings are stupid feelings like you keep calling them. I think theyâre just feelings.â
BECA MITCHELL
When their pinky fingers hooked together, Becaâs shoulders relaxed into their mattress. Chloe was right. They were both weirdos, that was why they fit so well as friends. âOkay. Fine. Just feelings then.â Blinking at Chloe in the relative dimness of their makeshift âbedroomâ, Beca pulled her lips inward as she surveyed her face. âSo⊠now what?â
CHLOE BEALE
âJust feelings,â Chloe hummed, unhooking their pinkies to instead take Becaâs hand again, her fingers slotting comfortably between Becaâs. The simple question to follow was kind of a loaded one, but Chloe felt surprisingly peaceful as let her eyes quietly study Becaâs, almost a little surprised that Beca hadnât yet torn her gaze away. âI donât know,â she admitted, pad of her thumb brushing over the backs of her fingers again. âWhat do you want now?â
BECA MITCHELL
Exhaling shakily, Beca squeezed Chloeâs hand. âI guess I kinda wanna⊠explore stuff a little bit?â She licked her lips, scrunching her nose. âBut not yet. I donât want you to feel like some sort of rebound situation because obviously you mean more to me than that.â Relaxing her facial muscles, her expression shifted into a softer, more hopeful one. âMaybe soon though? If you still want to, I mean?â
CHLOE BEALE
The corners of Chloeâs lips twitched upward into a relaxed smile, comforted by the squeeze to her hand. âExplore it how?â she questioned, unable to shift her small smile in response to the way Becaâs expression changed. Her head nodded gently as she studied Becaâs face, gaze drifting upward to meet her eyes once more. âIâm okay with waiting. I think Iâve been waiting for you a little longer than I even realized, so a little more is okay.â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca puffed out a few notes of a semi-strained chuckle, rolling her eyes. âDude, câmon. You know what I mean. Like--more than friends stuff.â Sheâd never been more grateful for the shadowy darkness so Chloe couldnât see the color rising in her cheeks. The next part made her heart skip a beat as bats seemingly took off, flapping away in her stomach. âDope. Thanks for understanding.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Becaâs chuckle pulled an amused grin to Chloeâs lips. This conversation couldâve definitely gone way worse; the fact that they were able to smile about it definitely spoke volumes. âWell, yeah, but I mean like how? Do I get to ask you on a date?â Although her brows lifted and fell playfully, it really wasnât a joke. It wasnât something sheâd actually considered before, but the idea of a date with Beca Mitchell drew the good kind of butterflies to her stomach. âOf course,â she nodded. âMaybe no more massages until then, though. I couldnât do that respectfullyâŠâ her nose scrunched. âNot even yesterday.â
BECA MITCHELL
âFor real? Dates are for people to try to get to know each other, right? We already know each other.â She blinked, amusement twisting up the corners of her mouth. âYou mean you wanna, like⊠wine and dine and romance me like the total cheeseball you are?â Another rush of heat flooded Becaâs system at the massage memory and she nodded maybe a little too eagerly. âFor sure, yeah. Hard agree. I mean, you did great--â Maybe too great. âBut yeah. Good call.â
CHLOE BEALE
âHmm, I donât know,â Chloe hummed thoughtfully. âI know best friend Beca. I donât know trying to sell herself on a date Beca.â Sheâd gotten pretty good at dates herself, even if they were always only with the intention of a mindless hookup afterwards. It might be nice to have one with something more in mind. âI did mean the cheesy thing, though, yes. My parents know each other super well, theyâve been married for years and have three kids and they still go on dates. I think itâs important to romance the person you like.â At least they were on the same page about the massageâand Chloe totally had not forgotten what sheâd witnessed afterwards. Releasing their hands, she rolled onto her side to face Beca. âYou know, I really thought you were gonna run away when I said we should talk.â She shot her an appreciative smile. âIâm really glad you didnât.â
BECA MITCHELL
âSell myself? Get out of here, nerd.â Beca narrowed her eyes in a heatless glare. She softened a few seconds later. âThatâs adorable though. Sounds pretty stereotypical Beale to me.â Her own parents split when she was young. All Beca really remembered was hearing them fight. So it was kinda⊠refreshing, hearing another version of a long-term relationship. One that didnât break apart. âYeah, well. What was I gonna do⊠barge into Amyâs room or run outside in the freezing cold in my underwear?â Huffing a laugh, Beca turned on her side away from Chloe⊠then did that not-so-slick move where she shuffled back a few inches, hinting for a spoon. âGlad we talked,â she admitted. âGânight, weirdo.â
CHLOE BEALE
âThatâs what people do on dates,â Chloe shrugged, âtry to get the other person interested.â Then again, Beca had been in a relationship for the last five years, it made sense that she didnât really know the protocol anymore. Her parents were pretty much her relationship goals, theyâd set a great example, so a fond smile pulled onto Chloeâs lips at the thought. âIt is. I think weâre all kind of hopeless romantics, even my brothers.â Her grin returned at the idea of Beca even attempting a night in Amyâs bed, dealing with her loud snoring. She also totally would not cope without someone to spoonâor spoon herâa pretty much nightly occurrence for them at this point. âNo. The last two times things got intense, you ran to the shower,â she pointed out, watching as Beca not so subtly shuffled back. Just like always, Chloeâs arm stuck out to drape across her middle, tightening to tug her closer. âMe too,â she hummed, slipping her fingertips beneath the hem of Becaâs shirt to brush softly along the smooth skin of her stomach. She was kind of riding a high that came along with their positive conversation, but if Beca was ready to sleep, then Chloe would try to, too. âYouâre a weirdo, too,â she reminded her through a contented sigh, nudging her nose against Becaâs shoulder. âNight, Bec.â
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I WISH I COULD PRETEND I DIDNâT NEED YA â BECHLOE.
TAGGING â Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell.
LOCATION â Apartment.
TIME FRAME â 3/8, afternoon.
WARNINGS â You know what yeah NSFW Beca.
NOTES â Beca needs a massage...
BECA MITCHELL
While the cold cucumber slices helped reduce the swelling beneath Becaâs eyes, her stress levels continued mounting throughout the rest of the week.Â
In addition to Jesse-related guilt and fielding questions from her parents about the break-up, her shitty boss continued piling impossible projects onto Becaâs workload.Â
Lilâ Pimp Loâs âBend Overâ might be the final straw.Â
Beca trudged up the stairs after what felt like a decades-long meeting with BFDâs new âartistâ and his weak voice, horrendous love of special effect lasers, and clear Napoleon Complex. Her mood probably couldnât have been more sour, and after letting herself into the apartment, she set her bag down, toed off her boots, then flopped face-down on her side of the bed.Â
CHLOE BEALE
Between school, her internship, her part-time job and the kittens, it was fair to say Chloe was exhausted. She barely had the time for a social life, so when she wasnât tending to one of her obligations, she was generally just lying around the apartment and trying to keep her eyes open until bedtime, with today being no exception.
Sheâd fed four of the kittens, and was just finishing up with the fifth when the door opened, Chloeâs lazy gaze flickering toward it to see a sour looking Beca entering their tiny apartment. She followed the way Beca flopped down onto the bed, face scrunching into a frown.
âGood day?â she asked sarcastically, not moving from her slumped back position against her pillows where she balanced a feeding Yellow on her chest. âI know you love Green, but please donât grab him just yet. Theyâre all milk drunk, and theyâve really been putting their vocals to use today.â
BECA MITCHELL
âMâgonna rage quit this job one of these days I swear,â Beca mumbled, barely comprehensible into her pillow. Turning her head to look up at Chloe, she reached out to give Yellow a soft stroke on her back. âDonât grab the kittens. Noted.â She squinted up at Chloe. âYou look pretty tired. Wanna order pizza and pass out early tonight?â Sounded like a dream, honestly.
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe breathed out a small sigh, sending Beca a sympathetic look. âThere has to be something better for you out there. What happened this time?â She glanced down toward the kitten on her chest, small smile pulling onto her lips as she watched Becaâs fingers dance over her fur. âYou read my mind. You know what sounds so good right now?â Her head tipped back into the pillows as she let out a dreamy sigh. âHawaiian.â
BECA MITCHELL
âUgh, just got a new client I got assigned to. They keep getting progressively more shitty and obnoxious to work with. Kinda feel like my boss is punking me.â Beca sighed, eager to not think about work. âYeah, sure. No ham on my half.â But of course Chloe knew that already. âWeâve still got half a six-pack in the fridge, too. You cool ordering? Iâm gonna shower real quick.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
âMaybe itâs a musician thing,â Chloeâs nose wrinkled. âArenât they supposed to be, like, divas and stuff?â As cool as Becaâs job sounded, Chloe didnât really envy it; it seemed to be more stressful for her than anything else. Pulling the empty syringe from Yellowâs mouth, Chloe pushed herself upward to settle her in her bed with her brothers and sisters. âGot it,â she nodded, twisting to plant her feet on the floor. âHey, you know before you shower, why donât you let me give you that massage?â She glanced toward Beca. âOr I guess after, but I have massage oil so youâd have to shower again afterwards, and that seems kind of pointless.â
BECA MITCHELL
âMost of âem are, yeah. Or maybe my boss just has bad taste and signs shitty people.â With a shrug, she pushed to sit up, raking her hand through her hair and shaking out its stiffness. She froze when Chloe mentioned the massage, her brow shooting upward. âOh. Um.â Beca figured Chloe might forget about that offer. Beca certainly hadnât. âRight now? Are you sure? You said youâre tired, too.â
CHLOE BEALE
âOr your boss knows you wonât take any crap, so youâre the best person for the job,â she shrugged, always intent on putting a positive spin on any situation where she could. Making sure Yellow was comfortably settled, Chloe sat upright again, reaching over to open up her bedside drawer. âOf course Iâm sure,â she nodded, retrieving the small bottle of oilâhopefully Beca wouldnât be too weirded out by the Badd Kitty label. âIâm just tired, but youâre tired and stressed. Massages are great for stress. Besides,â she popped the cap on the oil, holding it out to Beca with a bright grin. âThis smells like strawberries. See?â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca appreciated Chloeâs vote of confidence, even if she didnât fully believe her. Leaning in, she sniffed the bottle and nodded. âYep. Thatâs strawberry.â At least it smelled nice. âSo, uh--â Beca shrugged off her work blazer. âHow much am I supposed to take off here?â
CHLOE BEALE
âExactly. Itâs very relaxing,â Chloe hummed contentedly, pulling the bottle closer to take a sniff herself. A part of her was surprised Beca was even entertaining this, but she wasnât going to draw attention to it; if Beca was down, Chloe was not complaining. âUmm, however much you want,â she shrugged, âI mean, you can take everything off if you wanna get super relaxed. But definitely everything on the top half. You donât want oil on your clothes, trust me.â She frowned, turning to look away. âI wonât look.â Not that she hadnât literally seen Becaâs bare boobs when sheâd helped her with her piercings⊠or when sheâd followed her into the shower the other day.
BECA MITCHELL
Perhaps it was sort of inevitable living in such tight quarters with someone so open as Chloe, but even Beca grew somewhat desensitized to having Chloe seeing her in various states of undress. (Only under duress and only for a few seconds at a time.) âRight, got it.â Once Chloe turned, Beca undressed fully up top and pulled on a pair of mesh shorts. Then she swept her hair up into a messy bun atop her head, settling on her side of the bed and looking back at Chloe over her tattooed shoulder. âAll set.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
While Beca got to work on undressing, Chloe jumped up to grab a towel. The same way they didnât want oil on their clothes, they didnât want it on their bed either. She returned with a hand over her eyes, plopping back down onto the bed, and only turning with Becaâs say so. âAwes,â she hummed, shuffling closer to drape the towel across the bed, then settled on her knees beside it. âLay on your front over the towel. Should I light candles? That would be super relaxing⊠Or, uh, thatâs what I normally do anyway.â So maybe Chloe had never given or received a massage that wasnât in the build up to sex, but whatever.
BECA MITCHELL
Keeping one hand draped over her chest out of habit, Beca shifted to lie down along the towel. She pillowed her head on her folded arms, shrugging. âWhatever you think? The bright lights kinda suck, so that might be better.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
âCandles coming right up,â Chloe nodded dutifully, quickly shuffling from the bed to get to work. âDo you have, like, a relaxing playlist or something?â she suggested as she began to rummage for a lighter. âYou could put that on.â It was fortunate that Chloe insisted on decorative candles dotted around the apartment already, so all she had to do was light them while Beca did whatever she needed to do to get comfortable.
BECA MITCHELL
âOh, uh--yeah, sure.â Beca reached for her phone on the bedside table and thumb scrolled through her vast musical library. She eventually chose a playlist and hit shuffle, setting her phone back as King Princess streamed through the bluetooth speaker.Â
CHLOE BEALE
âPerfect,â Chloe smiled, quickly lighting all of the available candles, before bouncing over to flick the light switch. âWe probably shouldâve done this for our spa night before, it feels way more relaxing already.â As she headed back toward the bed, Chloe crossed her arms over her middle to peel off her sweater, under which she wore a strappy sleeved black cami. She wasnât trying to get oil on her stuff, either. The top and pajama shorts were fine, though, and Chloe reached for a hair tie as she climbed back onto the bed. âIs it okay if I sit on you?â she hummed, though sheâd already begun to climb until she could position her knees on the bed either side of Becaâs thighs as she tied her hair back securely.
BECA MITCHELL
âSit on me? Um⊠go for it.â Beca had never received a massage, so she assumed all of this--the lighting, the music, the positioning--was standard. âJust a heads up, the sides of my rib cage are super fucking ticklish and if you tickle me I canât be held responsible for murder because youâre forewarned.â
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe giggled at the mental image. âNoted,â she nodded, stretching across the bed to grab the bottle of strawberry oil. âMurder would really ruin the whole relaxation thing, so I would really appreciate if you refrained.â Beca was a baby, sheâd whined about how cold the cucumber was the other day, so Chloe thought better of squeezing the oil directly onto her back. Instead, she squeezed a bit onto her palm, setting the bottle aside and rubbing her hands together. Her gaze dropped to Becaâs bare back, and the idea that this...might not be the best idea entered her mind. It would be weird to stop now, though, right? Chloe cleared her throat, leaning down to press her hands to Becaâs shoulders. âWhere do you feel the most tense?â
BECA MITCHELL
The faint smell of strawberry wafted under her nose after Chloe squeezed the bottle. âUh⊠everywhere? I canât remember the last time I wasnât tense.â Realizing that wasnât likely helpful to Chloe, Beca hummed. âProbably my neck and shoulders?â From all the hunching over her laptop and schlepping her laptop and equipment all the time.
CHLOE BEALE
âThatâs kind of sad,â Chloe frowned, forcing herself to focus on her hands instead of what she could see of Becaâs naked upper half. The last thing she was supposed to be doing was checking her out, after all. âLucky for you, though, weâre gonna fix that right now.â Her volume lowered as she ran her fingers gently over the curve of her shoulder and toward her neckâthis was supposed to be relaxing, after all. âHere?â Her fingers pressed down, beginning to massage over that exact spot.
BECA MITCHELL
Beca sucked in a sharp breath at first contact, willing herself to relax. Okay so maybe letting Chloe touch her bare skin like this wasnât the brightest idea, but sheâd committed to this so she needed to give it a fair shot. âYeah,â Beca croaked, clearing her throat. âThatâs not bad.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe nodded despite the fact that Beca couldnât see her. She focused on that same spot, gaze drifting toward the tattoo on Becaâs shoulder while her hands worked. âPretty,â she hummed, eyes following the outline. Sheâd never really allowed herself to study Becaâs tattoos before, never really had the opportunity from this angle. It felt better than letting herself look down her body, though. âYour tattoo.â Her hand instinctively slid across Becaâs shoulder until her fingers could begin to trace the outline, though she stopped herself quickly, instead pushing down her palm to gently massage.
BECA MITCHELL
Plenty of people had commented on Becaâs tattoos before in both positive and negative ways (lookinâ at you, grandma). But nobody had ever studied them. Nobody had ever traced one with fingertips, and the simple act rendered Beca speechless for a few solid seconds before she managed to husk out a raspy âThanks.â The added pressure only pulled a soft groan which⊠Beca realized a beat too late probably sounded, like⊠inappropriate for a massage. She tried ignoring it though. Maybe Chloe didnât notice.Â
CHLOE BEALE
Becaâs audible reaction had Chloeâs teeth sinking into her bottom lip. Her other hand slid to Becaâs opposite shoulder, paying the same attention to both. She sucked in a steadying breath, thumb brushing over the tattoo. âBec, is thisâŠâ she trailed off, about to ask if this was weird, but if it wasnât already, that was probably a good way to make it weird. She settled instead on licking her lips and continuing quietly with, âis this okay?â She wasnât necessarily asking how the massage felt, at least not physically.
BECA MITCHELL
âMhm,â Beca managed, her tone pitchy through pursed lips, afraid what sound might escape if she opened her mouth in that moment. Inhaling deeply through her nose, she finally let out her exhale through her mouth, willing herself to relax. That was the point of this, wasnât it? âYou good?â she croaked after another minute or so, glancing at Chloe over her shoulder.
CHLOE BEALE
Of the two, Chloe was the least likely to ever find anything awkward, but apparently the same could not be said for right now. Maybe it was just because of their confessions, the ones they had yet to revisitâChloe wasnât sure if they ever even would, in factâbut she couldnât help but feel...really, really weird. In spite of herself, she bit back an honest response, and instead just shot Beca a forced smile. âMhm,â she echoed, bringing her gaze back to her slowly moving hands. âIf youâre good, Iâm good.â
BECA MITCHELL
When Beca agreed to this massage, she definitely hadnât anticipated the weird cascade of sensations coursing through her body. Uncomfortable heat pooling low in her belly and tingling throughout her limbs, causing her breathing to shallow significantly.Â
Of course, Beca chalked that up to her discomfort and anxiety with people touching her in general and not what it actually was.Â
Surging arousal. The sort sheâd never really experienced before.Â
After another few minutes of enjoying Chloeâs hands on her a little too much, she gave in. âActuallyâŠâ Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. âIâm hungrier than I thought. Mind ordering dinner now? Iâll hop in the shower and run out to pick it up so we donât have to pay the delivery fee.â Beca honestly craved fresh air, hoping the frigid winter air might help cool her body temperature and chill her brain.
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe always wanted to help Beca to feel better, so it wasnât like she didnât want to do this. The problem was that she was kind of enjoying touching Beca a little too much, so although she tried to preoccupy her mind by humming along quietly with the music, when Beca spoke up again, Chloe silently cheered.
She instantly paused the movement of her hands, sinking back to sit on Becaâs thighs with her hands falling into her lap. âMm, yeah, food sounds good,â she agreed, gaze unintentionally sweeping over her back, before Chloe quickly lifted it again. âThe delivery fee is fine, I can get it.â She shuffled to climb off of her, instead kneeling on the mattress beside her. âI bet if I order right now, itâll probably be here when youâre done with your shower, right?â
BECA MITCHELL
âCool. Thanks. Iâll Venmo you half.â Keeping her back to Chloe, Beca ducked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Sheâd intended on taking a quick one, except⊠the hot water felt a little too good pelting down on her new piercings. Combined with the incessant, pulsating throb pounding between her legs in time with her heartbeat, Beca couldnât resist bracing her right hand flat against the wall to steady herself as she yanked the shower head off its hinge and directed the spray where she needed it most. Biting down so hard on her lip she nearly drew blood, Beca mostly managed to keep her mewls and moans quiet enough to not be heard over the water as she worked herself over the edge in a shuddering finale.Â
CHLOE BEALE
âNo, itâs fine. Iâve got it,â Chloe shrugged, hopping from the bed and heading directly for the kitchen sink to clean off her oily hands before ordering their food. She forced herself to keep her eyes directed away even as she heard Beca standing, thoughts entirely consumed by the mental image of her hands on Becaâs bare bodyâand that damn noise Beca had made. Maybe she should shower soonâŠ
The last thing Chloe had wanted was anything between them to be weird, but suddenly it felt like it was, and she really could not handle the thought of things only worsening the way she was sure they would if they didnât talk soon.
Her worries began to consume her as she shuffled back toward the bed to order their food, and she decided she really needed to initiate a conversation. It was probably something that could wait until after Becaâs shower, but Chloe had never really cared for privacy, so she didnât really think about it as she headed for the bathroom, pausing only briefly, before pushing open the door.
Although she opened her mouth to announce her presence, she was instantly cut off by the quiet sounds coming from the shower, and Chloeâs eyes widened as she glanced toward the curtain to see⊠No, she totally wasnât seeing what she thought she was seeing. Was she? Teeth sinking into her bottom lip, she slowly backed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her.
Alright, yeah, they really needed to talk.
0 notes
EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU KEEP ME NEXT TO YOU â BECHLOE.
TAGGING â Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell.
LOCATION â Apartment.
TIME FRAME â 3/2, afternoon.
WARNINGS â None.
NOTES â Post-Jeca breakup.
BECA MITCHELL
Beca hadnât intended on taking a half-day. But sheâd been planning on finally sitting Jesse down to have the conversation sheâd been dreading for weeks now after work. She wasnât able to focus on her projects that morning, so she decided she better leave work early and get on with it.Â
As predicted, breaking up with her boyfriend of almost five years was⊠awful. Heartbreaking. The most difficult emotional conversation sheâd ever had, hands down. She wished sheâd dropped hints, told him sheâd been feeling disconnected for a long time. She wished she didnât completely blindside him AFTER heâd surprised her by moving across the entire country.Â
At first he lashed out, then his anger morphed into unbearable sadness.Â
Beca said all the wrong things, of course. Lines she promised herself she wouldnât use spewed out anyway because they felt like the truth.Â
âItâs not you, itâs me. Iâm the problem.â
âI love you, but Iâm not in love with you the way I should be. You deserve better--someone who can love you the way you should be loved.âÂ
âYouâre still my best friend, Jesse. I understand if you need some space but I hope we can still be friends eventually.â
Beca cringed as some of those awful phrases repeated in her head on loop during her brisk walk home. She only hoped he heard the sincerity in her tone and chose to focus on that rather than the words themselves.Â
By the time she trudged up the stairs and let herself in, she knew she looked pretty damn worn out. Bone-weary exhaustion made her movements sluggish. She was dehydrated from crying, her eyes red-rimmed and cheeks blotchy with dried tears. Beca dropped her bag by the door and struggled with the laces of her boots, sniffling as she felt another tearful wave coming on.
Ugh, not again.
CHLOE BEALE
It was perhaps a little unfair that Chloe found herself so on edge today. It wasnât like she was breaking up with anybody. It was always difficult for her not to feel Becaâs pain, though, so with the knowledge that Beca was headed to break up with her long-term boyfriend, Chloe was...well, kind of on edge.
Maybe that was why sheâd lashed out at Aubrey a little bitâwell, that and the fact that Aubrey had apparently known Chloeâs mind before sheâd even known it herself, but still, that was really no excuse. Deep down, she was just really worried about Beca, even going so far as to offer to go with her to Jesseâs place, despite knowing what a terrible idea that was and that it likely wouldnât help at all.
So, after Aubrey left, all Chloe could really do was sit around and wait impatiently to be there for her best friend. Because thatâs what Beca was above everything else, despite whatever they may have spoken about over the weekend, she was her best friend, and Chloe figured that was what Beca needed right now.
She also didnât want to overcrowd her, though, so as she heard the door opening, seated on her side of the bed with her legs tucked beneath her and scrolling through her phone, Chloe didnât immediately jump up. She simply glanced toward a downtrodden looking Beca, heart aching in response to the sad sounding sniffle. âHey,â she greeted gently, immediately setting down her phone and beginning to push herself from the bed. âUm, how did it go?â Chloe asked, cautiously making her way across the small stretch of floor and toward the doorway. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she stretched out a hand to rest against Becaâs shoulder. âActually, first⊠Bec, are you okay?â
BECA MITCHELL
Ever since Becaâs emotional breakdown on Sunday, things between her and Chloe⊠felt pretty normal? Which Beca appreciated more than she could say. Though they definitely needed to pull their confessions out of that locked box to poke at it at some point, right now⊠Beca just needed normalcy. She craved it more than anything in the moment. âIt was awful, but I didnât expect it to be good or anything.â Puffing out a sigh, she ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. âI just kinda feel like the shittiest human on the planet right now. I guess thatâll pass eventually.â Her shoulders lifted in a slight shrug. âI know I did the right thing though. He deserves⊠someone who can love him the right away, you know? The romantic kinda way.â
CHLOE BEALE
Cautiously pulling back her hand when it became clear that Beca wasnât about to have a whole breakdown right there and then, Chloe quietly watched her as she began to explain, dutifully nodding along in understanding. She had never actually had a serious relationship of her own, sheâd never had to break up with anybody, so she didnât totally get it, but she could still be there for Beca. âYou did do the right thing,â she promised with another short nod of her head, arms folding comfortably across her middle. âAnd I know you feel like a shitty person, but youâre not. People fall out of love, Bec. It just...happens,â Chloe frowned, taking a step back out of Becaâs space. âHe didnât see it coming? Like, at all?â Chloe had seen it coming, apparently Aubrey had, too. Surely Jesse had to have some idea, right?
BECA MITCHELL
She knew she did the right thing, but Chloeâs reassurance definitely helped. âYeah. It still sucks.â Beca shuffled over to the kitten box to scoop up her Green Goblin, carrying him over to her side of the bed before settling in comfortably. He snuggled atop her chest and she stroked his fur. âYou know Jesse. He thinks his lifeâs a freakinâ movie. If he saw it, he probably ignored it, you know?â Beca frowned. âI shouldâve realized it sooner. I kinda wish he gave me a heads up before he moved across the country but⊠thatâs not my fault, right?â
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe watched as Beca scooped up the kitten sheâd just gotten fed and settled, though chose not to say anything. If she wanted that comfort right now, who was Chloe to stop her? Green always seemed the happiest when he was with his Beca anyway, so Chloe simply shuffled toward the bed too, neatly seating herself on the foot at Becaâs side. âTrue,â she shrugged, almost feeling guilty for weighing in on anything Jesse related, as strange as that may have seemed. She knew she hadnât been the cause of their breakup, that it had likely been a long time coming, but Aubrey had kind of put the idea in her head that sheâd played some part in it, so she couldnât help the way that began to nag.
âOf course itâs not your fault. I donât really have much experience when it comes to relationships, but Iâm pretty sure people are supposed to discuss the big things with each other. And moving across the country is definitely a big thing,â Chloe said with a wrinkle of her nose. She paused then, chewing on the inside of her cheek in thought. âI knew you werenât super happy about that. I guess I didnât know you were this unhappy about it, but I meanâŠâ she trailed off with a small shrug. âHe shouldâve told you. Do you think he wouldâve still moved here? You know, if youâd broken up before?â
BECA MITCHELL
âI doubt it. Pretty sure he just assumed I was gonna move in with him as soon as I could, which isnât cool to you guys too, yâknow? But I shouldâve definitely figured out my own shit sooner. I honestly didnât realize I was as unhappy as Iâd been until I felt super pressured to change my life around for him.â Beca glanced up at Chloe. âKinda relieved I donât need to move out now. Bad news is youâre stuck with me for a while longer.â She managed a weak smile.Â
CHLOE BEALE
âHe was expecting a lot of you,â Chloe noddedâshe knew how (not) well Beca coped with change⊠Jesse shouldâve known it too, in fact, but Chloe wasnât going to comment on that. âWell, I didnât want you to go. And Green wouldâve been super sad, too,â she mirrored Becaâs weak smile, motioning to the kitten curled up on her chest. âThat wasnât the only reason you broke up with him, right? Because he wanted you to move in with him?â
BECA MITCHELL
âYeah. He always had me cast as his leading lady love interest but life isnât a damn movie.â Beca sighed, brushing a kiss to Greenâs head. She blinked up at Chloe at the question. âIt was more of the fact that, like⊠I shouldâve been really excited to move in with him but I didnât want to. That was kind of the biggest red flag that my feelings werenât as⊠intense as they shouldâve been for being with someone for that long.â She paused, glancing down to the kitten. âI guess I just started figuring out that the way I love Jesse isnât that romantic kind he expected. I thought it was for a while, butâŠâ Beca trailed off. âItâs just not.â
CHLOE BEALE
It was difficult not to join in and to tell Beca exactly what she thought, that Jesse really did want too much of her, that maybe he hadnât even deserved her. He had clearly wanted something that Beca wasnât, but again, Chloe was not going to say so aloud. Instead, she just continued to quietly nod along. âWell, Iâm proud of you, Bec. I know you might not feel good about yourself right now, but you did what you had to do, and Iâm proud of you.â She offered her another small smile, though paused as her gaze fell from Becaâs face to instead focus on the kitten. It probably wasnât the right time to ask, especially because what Beca needed right now was a friend, but Chloe couldnât stop the nagging in her mind, and her lips pulled inward as she thought over how to word her question. âI know youâve probably been feeling like this for a while,â she began kind of slowly, âbut it didnât have anything to do with the weekend, right?â Her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth. âWhat we talked about?â
BECA MITCHELL
âThanks.â She didnât feel like she deserved anyoneâs pride, but Chloe always had a habit of lifting her spirits even when she didnât think it possible. Chloeâs question and subtle shift in demeanor sent Becaâs brow crawling toward her hairline. She shook her head. âWhat? No. I mean--not directly, at least.â She exhaled in a strained sort of chuckle. Beca wished sheâd been able to remember Saturday nightâs events, but sheâd need to take Chloeâs word on what happened. âMe and Jesse breaking up has probably been a long time coming. I feel like shit that I hurt him but Iâm also pretty relieved.â
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe responded with an encouraging smile. She knew Beca, she knew she definitely didnât want praise, but if Chloe thought something, she was going to say it, and she knew that Beca knew that, too. Once sheâd asked her question, she brought her gaze back up to Becaâs face, an unfair amount of relief washing over her at the response. âOkay,â she nodded. âGood. I mean, not good... I donât know, Aubrey just kind of put it in my head.â She paused then, before adding, âI didnât say anything to her, by the way. I guess sheâs just been thinking some things.â Her nose wrinkled. âMaybe they all have.â
BECA MITCHELL
Becaâs head tilted to the side while she continued running her fingertips through Greenâs soft fur. âShe put what in your head?â Beca frowned. âWhat did she say to you?â Despite she and Aubrey declaring a truce after their first ICCA victory, Becaâs protective instinct when it came to Aubreyâs controlling nature in her friendship with Chloe remained wholly intact.Â
CHLOE BEALE
âBlame, I guess?â Chloe shrugged halfheartedly, shuffling over to position herself at her own side of the bed to settle in beside Beca and the kitten with her pillows propped up beside her. âShe saidâŠâ she paused, mouth twisting as she thought back over their earlier conversation. Admittedly, a lot of it had been kind of blurry. âSomething like after what she saw at Output, she doesnât want me to think Iâm to blame. I donât know what she saw,â she shrugged again, reaching over to gently run her fingers over the top of Greenâs head. âBut I guess she thinks she saw something.â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca couldnât help it--her eyes rolled hard. âShe needs to mind her own damn business.â Softening a beat later, Becaâs fingers sort of accidentally-on-purpose brushed Chloeâs while she stroked Green Goblinâs head. âHey. Itâs not your fault, okay? I promise. Itâs my own fault for⊠not figuring my own shit out sooner, you know?â Becaâs shoulders lifted slightly and she cast another tight-lipped grin her way. âBut it is what it is. And right nowâŠâ She blinked. âHoly shit, now Iâm like⊠single?â Beca grimaced as she spoke her new status aloud. âWeird. Okay. Cool. Weird but cool.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
âI think she means well,â Chloe chuckled softly, eyes down on the way their hands moved over the kittenâs fur. A small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips as Becaâs fingers brushed against her own, with Chloe allowing herself a brief glance upward, before dropping her gaze back to the kitten. âI donât think youâre at fault either, Bec. You figured things out when you figured them out, you couldnât have forced yourself to do it sooner,â she shrugged. Her nose wrinkled at the sound of Beca Mitchell and single together⊠After five years, it was super weird. âYou are,â she nodded, letting out another soft chuckle as she glanced toward Becaâs face again. âThatâs kind of exciting, right?â
BECA MITCHELL
âUh. If by exciting you mean low-key terrifying, sure.â She scrunched up her nose in return. âDating randos sounds torturous and honestly, and I feel like Iâm supposed to work on bettering myself or some shit. Isnât that what youâre supposed to do after an intense breakup?âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Chloeâs heart had no right to tug in the way it did at the idea of Beca dating. Just because theyâd drunkenly confessed some things to each other didnât necessarily mean anything, so Chloe bit back her disappointment. âSomething like that,â she agreed, twisting to lean back against her pillows. âI could help you set up Tinder, if you want. Most people on there are super creepy, but itâs fine for if you just want a little fun.â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca pulled another disgusted face. âDefinitely not. Appreciate the offer, but Iâm good.â Why would she willingly subject herself to creepers? Hard pass. âAnyway, I didnât mean dating. I meant like--maybe taking some time to figure out my shitty situation at work so Iâm less miserable and stressed all the time. Maybe Iâll drink a smoothie with a piece of lettuce in it once in a while. Stuff like that.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
âYou said dating randos,â Chloe pointed out. âTinder is rando central.â Her brow quirked as Beca continued, and Chloe couldnât quite bite back her amused smile. âA smoothie with lettuce will definitely solve all of your problems,â she teased, leaning over the side of the bed to check on the kittens where they slept in their box. âSpeaking of lettuce, do we have cucumber? Your eyes are super puffy. They look sore, we could cut up cucumber slices and have our own little spa right here.â
BECA MITCHELL
âI said dating randos sounds torturous as in--I have no interest in doing that ever.â When Chloe mentioned her puffy eyes, Beca sighed. âYeah, romaine calm. Thereâs a cucumber in the fridge.â She leaned over to set Green back in his box. âLettuce have a little spa day. Auntie Beca filled her cry quota for the next five years.â
CHLOE BEALE
Satisfied that the kittens were all sleeping comfortably, Chloe began to push herself from the bed. She winced at Becaâs terrible punâboth of them. âOh, that was painful,â she giggled, rolling up the long sleeves of her sweater as she shuffled toward the fridge. âYouâre Mama Beca, by the way. Not Auntie. Do you want anything to drink?â
BECA MITCHELL
âShhh⊠you gotta deal with my dad jokes, Iâm in relationship mourning.â That was a thing, right? It definitely felt like someone died. âWater would be clutch.â God knew she cried too damn much and needed more hydration. She blinked after a beat, processing Chloeâs words. âWhat do you mean, Mama Beca?â
CHLOE BEALE
âFine, you get a free pass just for the rest of today, then I get to complain again,â Chloe teased, grabbing both the water pitcher and the wrapped cucumber half from the fridge. Sheâd assumed sheâd probably have to take care of a defeated Beca todayânot that she minded; Chloe always liked to be doing somethingâbut she hadnât anticipated an at home spa night. She was kind of into it, though, and got to work on slicing up the cucumber. âTo the kittens,â she shrugged, setting four slices onto a small plate, before starting on the water. âWeâre their foster moms, remember? Not their foster aunts. Youâre Mama Beca and Iâm Mama Chloe.â
BECA MITCHELL
A weird flutter batted in her stomach when Chloe reminded her of their official cat foster mom titles. âRight, right. Yeah. Cool.â She drummed her fingers on her stomach before noting her bitten down nails, most of the polish chipped off. âWhat else do we do for spa day? Guess I could repaint my nailsâŠâÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Water poured into two glasses, Chloe balanced the plate on top of one of them as she carried them toward the bed. âI really think I missed my calling as a waitress,â she hummed, handing the other glass over to Beca, before shuffling back to her own side of the bed. âWe could paint each otherâs nails,â she suggested with brightened eyes. âI also think I have some face masks in the bathroom. But you need the cucumber first,â she frowned, plopping down into her spot again, this time with her legs crossed and her body facing Beca as she held out the plate.
BECA MITCHELL
âIâm not the best at painting nails but Iâll try if you want.â Beca accepted the water with a tight-lipped grin, chugging down a few gulps before setting it on her bedside table. Then she snagged two cucumbers from the plate. âThis is gross. Is it gonna feel slimy?â Without waiting for a response, she lay back and rested the slices over her eyes. âDude thatâs cold!â But that was the point, right? To reduce the swelling.
CHLOE BEALE
âThatâs okay,â Chloe shrugged, lifting her own glass up to her mouth to take a slow sip. âIâm not really supposed to wear nail polish at work anyway. Iâll be taking it right back off, so you can do your worst. I can paint yours, though.â She leaned over the side of the bed to set her glass down on the floor, then straightened as she watched Beca relaxing back into her pillows. âItâs supposed to be cold,â she giggled, reaching toward the plate to pick up a cucumber slice. âYou know, my eyes are fine.â Rather than lean back like Beca had, Chloe instead popped the cucumber into her mouth. âWant me to paint your nails while you lay there?â
BECA MITCHELL
âOh, uh--sure. If you want to.â Beca motioned to her bedside table. âMineâs in the drawer there.â A shade of purple nail polish dark enough that it looked black, of course. Sheâd hardly ever worn any other color. Also inside Becaâs bedside table drawer, Chloe would spot two spare pairs of earbuds, hair ties, and a pile of greeting cards from Chloe and the other Bellas that Beca received over the years for birthdays, holidays, or random occasions.Â
CHLOE BEALE
âAwes,â Chloe grinned excitedly, pushing the plate and its one lone slice of cucumber aside, then stretched her body to lean across Becaâs middle in pursuit of her bedside drawer. âDo you ever think about wearing a different color?â Chloe hummed as she scrambled through Becaâs belongings to retrieve the small bottle of dark purple nail polish. Her gaze swept over the collection of saved cards, lips tugging upward at the sight. âItâs really sweet that you kept all of these. Oh, this oneâs from me!â She sat back again with the nail polish in one hand and a familiar card held in the other, small smile settled on her lips as she scanned over the front. âThe grumpy cat on the front is you.â
BECA MITCHELL
âNope. Gotta match my dark soul,â she muttered, her other senses suddenly heightened now that she couldnât see thanks to the veggie slices. She made sure to keep extra still when Chloe stretched across her, not wanting to like⊠accidentally brush anything. Beca forgot she kept all those cards, a soft blush rising in her cheeks. âDonât tell the girls I kept them.â She had a badass reputation to uphold, after all.Â
CHLOE BEALE
âRight,â Chloe agreed with a playful roll of her eyes. Becaâs âdark soulâ was not quite as dark as she seemed to think it was, the collection of saved greeting cards being the perfect example. Chloe smiled fondly down at the card as it rested in her lap. âYour secretâs safe with me, Bec.â She recalled telling her the same thing back at the club. Stretching over Becaâs body once more, this time to set the card down on her bedside table, Chloe soon leaned back to rummage through her own drawer for a bottle of nail polish remover. âI can give you a hand massage and everything, you know?â Chloe hummed thoughtfully as she tipped out a splash of remover onto the accompanying pad, before scooting closer to gently pick up Becaâs hand. Chloe couldnât resist the way her thumb brushed softly over Becaâs fingers, before setting it down against her thigh. âWhatâs your perfect spa day? What treatments would you get?â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca realized then and there that she wouldnât trust anyone else with this. Letting them touch her hand and apply anything to her body while her eyes were closed. But Chloe had always played by her own set of rules, and Beca licked her lips and swallowed hard when Chloe settled her hand on Chloeâs thigh, hypersensitive to every brush and stroke. âUm⊠this is as âspa dayâ as Iâve ever really had. I heard massages are excellent for stress relief but Iâve never been into strangers touching me so I probably wouldnât enjoy it.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
âYouâve never been to a spa before?â Chloe asked with widened eyes, gaze drifting briefly toward Becaâs face, before falling back to the hand settled on her thigh. âYouâre really missing out, Bec.â Slipping her hand palm up beneath Becaâs, Chloe got to work on wiping away the chipped nail polish. âYouâd let me touch you, though, right?â she questioned, tongue poking out in concentration.
BECA MITCHELL
Beca snorted. âDo I look like the kind of person who goes to the spa?â An amused smile played on her lips for a beat as she tried picturing herself getting pampered. The follow-up question made Beca shrug. âIâm letting you touch me right now, arenât I?â It was just her hands, but stillâŠ
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe shrugged. âI mean, right now you do. Youâre laid on our bed with cucumber slices over your eyes while someone cleans up your bad nail polish job. Seems pretty spa-like to me.â She reached for Becaâs other hand to begin cleaning the old polish from that one, too. âI didnât mean right now, I meant like a massage. Iâm told I give very good massages, itâs in my Tinder bio.â
BECA MITCHELL
Well, she couldnât argue with that. The offer of a massage, though⊠it set her hand twitching reflexively on Chloeâs leg. The simple thought of Chloe running her hands over her bare back and shoulders for an extended period of time made Becaâs mouth dry up, and she casually and blindly reached for her water glass. âOkay. Maybe some other time.â
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe took note of the slight twitch to Becaâs hand, eyes lifting to read what she could see of her expression. She wasnât trying to make her uncomfortable, but it was difficult not to allow her mind to drift elsewhere, especially after their confessions. There was something very appealing about the idea of Beca allowing her to massage her, however innocently, and the mental image caused Chloeâs teeth to sink into her bottom lip. âAwes,â Chloe murmured, dropping the pad out of the way and reaching instead for the nail polish bottle, then got to work on the hand closest to her. âHow do the cucumber slices feel? Are they helping?â
BECA MITCHELL
âCold and slimy,â Beca confirmed. âDoesnât hurt? I dunno. Guess youâll be able to tell me if the puffiness went down whenever itâs time to take âem off.âÂ
Beca remained compliant during the rest of the spa session, grateful the cucumbers seemed to have helped the swelling. She remained exhausted though, bone-weary and yawning as she tested the top of her nails to make sure they were thoroughly dry. âThanks for this, Chlo. Iâll paint yours next time. Kinda need a nap before dinner if thatâs cool?â
CHLOE BEALE
It wasnât like Chloe expected an impromptu pamper session to take all of Becaâs worries away, but by the time they were done, Beca at least looked a little less beaten down. Her eyes were less red and puffy, at least. Drifting back from the kitchen, where sheâd tossed the cucumber slices out and left the plate in the sink to deal with later, she sent Beca a small smile. âOf course.â Normally, she would not have thought twice about climbing into bed and joining Beca for a short nap, but considering the day Beca had had, Chloe wasnât sure whether sheâd be wanting her own space or not. She rocked on her heels as she stood by the foot of the bed. âCan I nap with you?â
BECA MITCHELL
While Chloe got up, Beca made a quick change into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Her whole body hurt from spending so much time crying which served as a reminder as to why she kept her emotions bottled up as often as possible. âYeah, sure. Itâs your bed, too.â Beca drew the curtains closed above the bed, casting a darkness over the space before she crawled beneath the covers.
CHLOE BEALE
âI know,â Chloe shrugged, âI just didnât know if you wanted some time on your own or something.â Regardless, with Becaâs blessing, Chloe shuffled to her side of the bed, plopping down to peer into the kitten box, before wriggling under the covers. Twisting onto her side to face Beca, Chloe flashed her another small smile. âDo you feel a little better?â
BECA MITCHELL
âA little, yeah. Thanks.â She managed a tight-lipped smile, resting her hands over her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling. âItâll just take some time, I guess. Time for the sadness and guilt to go away. Iâll get through it.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe gently nodded her head. âYou will. Youâre strong, Bec.â Her gaze dropped to Becaâs hands where they settled on her stomach, and while the idea to stretch out a hand to rest over the top of Becaâs entered her mind briefly, Chloe decided against itâsheâd been questioning her actions more than usual when it came to Beca lately. âNapping will help, too,â she hummed. âSleep is healing.â
BECA MITCHELL
She sure as hell didnât feel strong. Sheâd honestly never felt weaker or more vulnerable. But she believed Chloe, trusting sheâd never lie to her. âHell yeah it is. âNight, Chlo.â Beca turned away from Chloe, though she definitely craved her closeness. She scooted her body back a few inches in a nonverbal invitation, hoping Chloe would read her signals because of course she couldnât just ask for what she wanted.Â
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe responded with an encouraging smile and a short nod of her head as she watched Beca roll onto her side. Truth be told, she really wasnât all that tired herself; she kind of just wanted to be close to her, though, and swept her gaze over Becaâs back, wanting to reach out and pull her closer. It was another one of those things she wouldâve never questioned before, but that she found herself second guessing now⊠until Beca scooted back, and Chloe couldnât quite help the small tug to the corner of her lips. Without further deliberation, her arm instinctively wrapped around Becaâs middle, tightening to gently tuck her body into her own. âNight, Bec.â
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theacadictator·:
Aubrey frowned deeper still as she watched Chloeâs body language. This had been the last thing that she had wanted when sheâd started this conversation, she hated seeing Chloe so visibly upset and hated even more that sheâd done this.
âChloeâŠâ Aubreyâs tone was gentle as she went to put her hand on Chloeâs arm, âI donât think you hid it from me for a minute, I think you hid it from yourself. But thatâs not important right now, what is important is that you know that I am always here for you. I believe this is totally new to you right now, I really do.â
Aubreyâs tone betrayed a quiet desperation, hating the helplessness she heard in Chloeâs tone. She just wanted Chloe to feel like she could talk openly about how she was feeling and she felt like she was going about this completely wrong, âTalk to me Chlo, tell me whatâs bothering you, pleaseâŠâÂ
Chloe neither froze up nor pulled away this time. In fact, she simply took comfort in Aubreyâs hand resting against her arm, it was something she hadnât really realized sheâd needed. She still didnât agree, still didnât believe that sheâd hidden anything from herself, but the past didnât matter anymore. What did matter was the fact that, even if sheâd told Beca everything was going to be okay between them, Chloe was, quite frankly, scared. And perhaps that was where her emotions were coming from.
âEverythingâs just weird,â she choked out defeatedly, shoulders slumping. âI was really sad when Jesse moved here, and I felt selfish for being so sad...â She wanted to say more, wanted to blurt everything out about the club, and about the next day, but Beca had trusted her with a secret, and that wasnât Chloeâs secret to tell. So, she instead cut herself off with a sad sounding sniff, hand resting over the top of Aubreyâs as she brought her watery gaze toward hers. âI just donât want to be any of the reason they broke up. And I donât want things to change with Beca.â
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theacadictator·:
Aubreyâs smile of comfort turned to a frown of concern when she saw Chloe scowl. It seemed so out of place for the usually bright and perpetually upbeat redhead that she loved and it made her heart ache to think that she was at least partly responsible for it. Hearing Chloe admit out loud that there was more to her feelings for Beca should have been a triumphant moment but it wasnât, not in the context of the conversation they were currently having, not when Chloe wouldnât admit that there had always been something more. Aubrey didnât care if Chloe didnât admit it to her; she knew what the truth was, but if she wouldnât even admit it to herself Chloe would never be able to move forward from here.
Aubreyâs frown only deepened when she felt Chloeâs hand stiffen and noted the cold tone in her voice, âIâm not saying they werenât happy, of course they were at one point. Iâm not trying to speak for them Chloe, Iâm really not, Iâm just telling you what Iâve seen.â She sighed softly again as she looked at Chloe, heartbreaking a little as her hand slipped from under hers, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around Chloe as her voice cracked.
âIâm certainly not trying to tell you how to feel. This is what Iâm trying to say, itâs okay to not know how you feel about all this. Itâs okay to be feeling confused and conflicted about it because this had been so complicated for so long.â
âAnd Iâm telling you that you havenât seen what you think youâve seen,â Chloe pressed with a note of exasperation. âYou donât think I wouldâve told you if I was hiding these deep feelings for someone who couldnât return them? I wouldâve told you because I wouldâve needed you.â Her arms tightened where they rested around her middle, fingertips disappearing beneath the long sleeves of her sweater and clutching for comfort at the loose fabric. She didnât really know why her eyes had begun to sting, but Chloe really did wear her heart on her sleeve, and she wasnât one to hold back her emotionsâshe didnât really have the capacity for that.
âI need you now, because now thereâs something and I donât know what to do with it, but itâs really new and I need you to believe me,â Chloe urged in a choked up voice. She trailed off defeatedly, rising volume evening out into a quieter, more helpless tone. âI donât know what to do.â
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theacadictator·:
There it was. The urge to smack Chloe upside the head. But it was soon replaced by a surge of concern at the defensiveness of Chloeâs tone. Aubreyâs brow furrowed as she sighed softly; she knew Chloe was in denial about her feelings for Beca, she just didnât realise it still ran this deep. Especially not after everything that had happened recently.
âChlo⊠you and I both know that itâs more than just best friends. I mean you never barged into my shower!â Aubrey joked weakly, a soft reassuring smile on her face as she studied Chloeâs face, trying to alleviate some of the attention that she could feel building.
âI do know Chloe. I know that youâve been denying how you feel about Beca for years because she was with Jesse. And now sheâs not, and I canât imagine how complicated your feelings must be at this moment. Because this has been, and I wonât say this to Beca because she doesnât need to hear it, a long time coming. Jesseâs fine, he obviously cared about her, but Beca was never truly happy with him.â Aubrey tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she reached for Chloeâs hand.
âItâs okay for you to be feeling conflicted over this Chlo.â
âI was recruiting for the Bellas. We needed her,â Chloe shot back with an open scowl, something she didnât wear very often, but this particular topic was conflicting for her. Maybe recently things had started happening between her and Beca, their drunken confessions being the perfect example, but it hadnât always been this way... had it? âI havenât,â she shook her head quickly. âBeca has a boyfriendâ had a boyfriend. Iâm not stupid, Bree. My feelings for Beca were always just friend feelings. Maybe thereâs something more now, but it wasnât always like that.â Admitting so aloud, the fact that there was maybe âsomething moreâ shouldâve been scary, but it wasnât. If anything, it was just...confusing.
Although her hand stiffened beneath Aubreyâs, Chloe didnât immediately pull it away. She simply glanced down to Aubreyâs hand, then brought her confused gaze back up to her face. âThey were happy,â she said in a cold, shaky tone. They had to have been happy at some point; Beca had to have been happy, Chloe couldnât cope with the idea that she wasnât. Perhaps that was why a lump had begun to form in her throat. âWe donât get to speak on that, Aubrey. Just like you donât get to tell me how I feel.â Her voice cracked then, hand slipping away from Aubreyâs to instead wrap her arms protectively across her middle. âI donât even know how I feel.â
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Aubrey grinned as she rolled her eyes at Chloe a little, stepping into the apartment, âAnd I told you that my mother would kill me if she ever found out that I walked into someoneâs house without knocking.âÂ
Chloeâs soft chuckle had put her at ease a little as Aubrey turned to her friend with a soft smile. She wanted Chloe to be as relaxed as possible for this conversation because she hadnât come here to upset her or start a confrontation of some kind. She just wanted Chloe to have an outlet for the emotions she was undoubtedly feeling with the recent turn of events.Â
âNo, not at all. I just want you to have someone to talk to about all this.â Aubrey shook her head a little as she walked over to sit at the kitchen table, hoping Chloe would follow her, âI know how you feel about Beca, Chloe, I always have. And after what I saw at Output⊠I just donât want you to think you have any blame to shoulder with this.â
âWell, I wonât tell her if you donât,â Chloe joked, though she knew there was something lacking in her own tone, something not quite as light as usual. She really was just on edge, she couldnât help it; when Chloe Beale thought or felt something, it was difficult for her to keep it hidden. That was just the kind of person she was, especially around someone who knew her as well as Aubrey did.
It was instinct for her to want to offer Aubrey a drink, but as she floated toward the kitchen table, Chloe couldnât help but follow, especially given Aubreyâs perplexing statement. âAbout all of what?â she asked, shuffling into the opposite seat, and watching Aubrey with a tilted head. Her words caused Chloeâs brows to lift. âHow I feel about her?â she echoed, this time shooting Aubrey an incredulous look. âI love Beca. Sheâs my best friend, just like youâre my best friend. That doesnât...â Chloe shook her head, words coming out more defensively than intended. âI donât know what you think you know, Bree, but you donât. You donât know anything.â
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F2F: Chaubrey (private) - the Jeca breakup aftermath
Aubrey sighed softly as she set her phone down for a moment, scraping her hair into a messy ponytail and grabbing her keys before summoning an Uber. Beca breaking up with Jesse had come out of the blue, but it was hardly a shock to the former captain. After the events at Output the other night, Aubrey had thought (and rather guiltily, hoped) it would be the straw that finally broke the camels back and force both of them to confront the way they felt.
Heading for the elevator, Aubrey mentally prepared herself for what would undoubtedly be a difficult conversation. Chloe was her best friend in the whole world, the sister she had never had, but sometimes she wanted to smack her upside the head. Especially when it came to her feelings for Beca. Sheâd been patient for years about this (and sheâd continue to be because thatâs what Chloe needed from her) but she knew Chloe better than the redhead would care to admit and with what would have undoubtedly have been a very emotional breakup between Jesse and Beca, Aubrey knew Chloe was going to need someone that she could talk to about the way she was feeling about all of this.
Once the Uber had pulled up outside Chloeâs apartment building, Aubrey fired her a quick text to let her know she was coming up. She took a deep breath as she stepped out of the elevator and walked down the corridor to her best friendâs apartment, knocking twice as she waited for an invitation to come in (Aubrey was nothing if not polite, she had her cotillion lessons to thank for that).
Following Beca and Jesseâs breakup, Chloe didnât fully understand why Aubrey was checking up on her of all people. If anyone needed a shoulder right now, it was definitely Beca (or Jesse... but he had his own friends), but Chloe also wasnât going to turn Aubrey away. She was, however, incredibly confused by their brief text conversation, especially the part about how âthis Beca stuffâ had been hard on her, so Chloe was feeling perhaps a little unfairly defensive as she awaited Aubreyâs arrival.
There was also the fact that she was worried about Beca, but she also was not trying to overcrowd her. She figured she probably needed some space, and Chloe would be there for her once she returned home. For now, she simply kept herself occupied with playing with the kittens, only setting them back in their makeshift bed when Aubreyâs text came through, then pulled herself up from her spot on the bed to pad toward the door.
âI told you, you never need to knock,â Chloe chuckled softly as her gaze landed on her best friend, offering her a small greeting smile. She took a quick step back to give Aubrey the room to enter, before closing the door gently behind her. âShould I be worried about this conversation?â she asked with a slightly arched brow. Aubreyâs texts has been kind of vague, but Chloe had a feeling there was more to come.
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đ±Text - Chaubreyđ±
AUBREY: Maybe it's better we have this conversation in person? Do you want to come over here or is it easier for me to come over there??
AUBREY: This isn't a bad conversation Chlo, I'm just worried about you is all x
CHLOE: yeah, we can do that
CHLOE: i'm waiting for beca and i need to stay with the kittens, so can you come here??
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đČ TEXTS ( CHESSICA. )
JESSICA: Oh i think im definitely hooked. I cant wait for the next one.
JESSICA: Beca came!! yeah I cant imagine her doing it. Although she's a much better dancer than she believes. But i can imagine it being pretty intimidating.
JESSICA: Seriously!!!! I don't know how you get anything done with those cute bundles of joy around. I would dote on them all day. I would be so tempted as i just love animals but Ashley's a dog person. Think i can twist her arm?
CHLOE: we should totes rent a pole and show off our moves at your place on friday
CHLOE: she is so much better than she thinks. maybe if we bring her along a few more times she might try it. i got her to try a beginner move and she did it super well!
CHLOE: there's no reason you can't have a dog and a cat, right?? đ
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đ±Text - Chaubreyđ±
AUBREY: Okay, you can absolutely tell me to keep my nose out, but does Beca breaking up with Jesse have anything to do with what happened at Output?
AUBREY: Because I saw you both on the dance floor... and that lap dance
AUBREY: I know that this Beca stuff has been really hard on you lately, I just want to check you're okay
CHLOE: no, it's not that. i don't think it's that anyway
CHLOE: i hope it's not that
[...]
CHLOE: i think maybe it's a little me, but it's not all me
[...]
CHLOE: what beca stuff has been hard on me?
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ITâS ALL ME, JUST DONâT GOÂ â BECHLOE.
TAGGING â Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell.
LOCATION â Apartment.
TIME FRAME â 2/28, morning.
WARNINGS â None.
NOTES â "I had to go and catch stupid [redacted] for my [redacted]...â
CHLOE BEALE
Sometimes, Chloe would wake up the morning after a night of drinking with a strangely clear head and no signs of a hangover. Unfortunately, however, this morning was absolutely not one of those times, and Chloe blinked open her eyes to the sight of way too bright morning light spilling in through the window and alerting her to the obnoxious pounding in her head. She loved the kittens, but thank God they were still with Benji, because even her own quiet whine was enough to cause her ears to ring.
A cool shower felt like a good idea, but the prospect of moving too much made Chloe feel instantly sick, so she figured sheâd wait until she had a little coffee in her system for that. For now, she simply forced herself to sit upward in preparation of eventually peeling herself from the bed altogether and heading for the kitchen, but even that task could wait a moment, too. Her new position told her that changing for bed had apparently been too much of an inconvenience for her last night, considering Chloe was dressed in the bra and panties sheâd been wearing and nothing else, and definitely had last nightâs makeup smeared across her face still, but that was really the least of her worries.
Blinking slowly as she hiked the covers up over her exposed stomach, she glanced toward her best friend, at first blissfully unaware of their previous nightâs incredibly intense conversation. âBec,â she croaked, sticking out a hand to poke Becaâs shoulder. âAre you awake? Or at least alive?â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca had face planted onto bed the night before, not bothering with any blankets. In her drunken state, she somehow managed to get her jumpsuit half peeled down but apparently gave up halfway through the battle, leaving her clad in the bottom portion along with her black bra.Â
She stirred thanks to the shifting of the mattress and the rude-as-fuck light filtering in through the curtains. âNo,â she grumped, turning in an attempt to suffocate herself with her pillow. âNever drinking again,â she mumbled, probably incomprehensible to Chloe but whatever. Her head hurt. Correction--her whole body hurt.
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe quietly groaned in response, head nodding along in agreement despite the fact that Becaâs face was buried in her pillow. âMe either,â she frowned, lazy gaze sweeping over Becaâs exposed back. Why theyâd even allowed themselves to drink to that excess, Chloe really did not know, especially because she had a class to teach later today, one that she needed energy and the ability to keep food down for. The very thought caused her to whine.
Despite herself, Chloe forced herself to twist her body until her bare feet were pressing to the floor, stomach turning with the apparently too fast motion. âWhy did we have to go that hard?â she sighed, using what little energy she had to finally push herself unsteadily to her feet. She didnât even bother with clothes, and instead simply began to shuffle in her underwear toward the kitchen. âIâm gonna make coffee, do you want some?â
BECA MITCHELL
âWeâre fucking idiots, thatâs why.â Becaâs voice carried a special rasp only present after a club night--almost like she chain smoked three packs a day. She needed more sleep. She needed medicine. She needed a shower. Probably food would be good, too. But she just⊠didnât wanna move.Â
A pathetic whimper escaped and she flopped miserably onto her back, casting her forearm over her eyes in a weak effort to block out the light. âYeah. Dâyou know if everyone got home okay?â Beca typically remained the most sober of the bunch for that very reason. But she really didnât feel like dealing with the group chat right now. Or dealing with much of anything, to be honest.
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe certainly was not going to disagree with that. It was pretty typical of her, though; the same could not be said for Beca. She thought back to the night before, trying to envision a completely wasted Beca Mitchell as she began to prepare their coffee. âI donât know,â she bit her lip at the question, mad at herself for not immediately checking the group chat. âI hope so. I mean, Iâm pretty sure I can hear Amy snoring, so she at least did.â
Stretching to reach for mugs made Chloe whine, though the mention of their third roommate pulled a vivid image to her mind: Chloe, seated in Becaâs lap, and Amy telling her to give her a lap dance. Despite her pounding head, she couldnât help her soft chuckle at the memory, even if it did kind of hurt her throat. Sheâd likely been screaming along with the music at some point. âDo you even remember anything from last night?â she questioned, turning to shoot Beca an amused look. âLike your lap dance?â
BECA MITCHELL
âUhâŠâ Thinking hurt, too. Like--she swore the act of trying to remember made each strand of hair ache. âI remember you painting something on my face. Thatâs about it.â The sluggish processing definitely was part of the hangover too and she snorted. âMy what?âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
âYour rainbow,â Chloe nodded, motioning toward Becaâs cheek. Their pillows were probably covered in paint remnants, but that was an easier fix than their pounding heads. She leaned back against the counter as she waited for the coffee to brew, mischievous grin on her tired face. âI gave you a lap dance.â Chloe paused then, lips pursing as she thought over the aftermath. Theyâd danced after, but they didnât just dance. Theyâd talked, too, and while it was taking a few moments for Chloeâs mind to fully adjust, their surprising conversation seemed to suddenly come flooding back. âUh, Bec, donât you remember anything?â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca groaned, her cheeks flaring at the thought of Chloe giving her a lap dance. And it had actually happened? Fuck. âYou would,â she mumbled, wincing as she forced herself to sit upright. Passing out in her makeup had given her serious raccoon eyes and she squinted at Chloe across the tiny apartment. âNo? What else did I forget?â She puffed out an anxious chuckle, raking her hand through her hair. âFuck. I havenât gotten blackout drunk in like⊠I dunno, years I guess.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
While sheâd been amused at the thought initially, once the resulting conversation entered her mind, Chloe suddenly didnât feel quite so smug. In reality, she felt a little...weird. âCan you toss me a sweater or something?â she asked, ignoring Becaâs question for now and simply focusing on fixing their drinks.
BECA MITCHELL
Blinking a few times, Beca sensed Chloeâs shift in mood. Only she couldnât put her finger on why. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried harder to recall any memories from the night before, only to come up empty. âYeah, sure.â Grimacing as she reached over her side of the bed, she tossed Chloe one of her own hoodies. Chloeâs side was too far. âWhat happened, dude? Did I make a fool out of myself or something? If I did⊠I mean you know Amyâs gonna definitely tell me so you might as well just rip the bandaid offâŠâ
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe turned only to catch the hoodie, then quickly shrugged it on to at least cover her top half. It was probably going to be a weird conversation to have in only her underwear. Her lips pulled inward as she picked up the two freshly filled mugs, carrying them carefully back toward the bed. âNo, nothing like that,â Chloe promised, handing one of the mugs over to Beca, before lowering onto her side of the bed. She stayed on the edge, legs crossing beneath her. âYou donât remember what you told me when we were dancing together?â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca pulled the bed sheet upward to cover her chest on instinct, never one to hang around in her undergarments if she could help it. She accepted the mug with a grateful tight-lipped grin, taking a careful sip. âNoâŠâ She eyed Chloe, panic steadily rising within her. She knew sheâd been⊠weird about Chloe lately, and god, if she was that drunk⊠âChlo, what did I tell you?âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Sexuality may not have been a big deal to Chloe, but she figured Becaâs confession was something she should approach cautiously here. She paused to take a slow sip from her drink, both hands wrapped protectively around the mug. âBec, you told me you donât think youâre totally straight,â Chloe explained gently. âAnd I donât think it was a drunk thing.â
BECA MITCHELL
Becaâs mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish out of water, unable to fully process the confession her drunk brain had apparently made to her best friend before her sober brain fully comprehended it. âOh. Okay. UmâŠâ Licking her lips, Beca puffed out a few notes of a strained sort of chuckle, glancing down into her coffee mug as she fought to figure out what the hell she was supposed to say.Â
CHLOE BEALE
Although she watched Beca carefully, Chloe was trying not to openly stare. She didnât want her to feel uncomfortable, at least no more so than she obviously already did. âYeah,â she nodded, balancing the base of the mug lightly against her thigh. âYou know itâs, like⊠fine, right?â She offered Beca a small smile. âYou can feel that way and still have a boyfriend or whateverâŠâ her volume dropped a little at the indirect mention of Jesse, mostly because there had been more to that conversation, and Chloe really wished Jesse was not a part of it.
BECA MITCHELL
âYeah. Yeah, totally. I mean--itâs not a big deal, right?â She snapped her gaze back to Chloeâs, forcing a smile that didnât quite meet her eyes. Confusion, worry, and a decent amount of fear swirled in those dark blue irises. Mostly because she didnât remember confessing it and that was sort of something sheâd liked to have planned out word for word before speaking to anyone. Even Chloe. (Especially Chloe?) Forcing a deep, shaky breath, she bit her lower lip for another beat before scrunching up her nose. âSorry if I, like--made you feel weird or anything...â
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe knew Becaâs expressions. She knew when something excited her and she tried to bite it back, but Chloe could see it shining in her eyes. She knew when her smiles werenât real smiles, too, just like the one Beca was sending toward her right now. Still, she responded with a small smile of her own, head shaking gently in response. âNo. It doesnât have to be a big deal, no.â She almost didnât want to tell her the rest, but the thought of keeping it to herself felt even weirder than anything else, so Chloe sucked in a breath as she glanced down into her mug. âYou didnât make me feel weird. It actually makes me feel really good that you trusted me enough to tell me something like that.â She paused for a moment. âBut you told me something about me, too.â
BECA MITCHELL
Relief flooded Becaâs system when Chloe assured her the confession was a good thing, even if Beca couldnât remember how it had been phrased or the circumstances around it. (Besides being completely drunk off her ass, of course.) She took another sip of coffee, each one making her feel fractionally more human. But after Chloeâs pause, Becaâs brow crawled toward her hairline. She swallowed hard, anxiety bubbling in her gut once again. âWhat did I say?â
CHLOE BEALE
Other than before big Bellas performances back in college, nerves really werenât a big thing for Chloe, she never really got nervous. She distinctly remembered the way her body tingled when theyâd been dancing so closely last night, though, coupled with Becaâs confessions right by her ear, and how theyâd made her feel kind of nervous. Sort of how she felt right now, in fact. Still, she was nothing if not open and honest, though she didnât quite meet Becaâs eyes as she continued. âIt was probably just a drunk thing,â she said with a small, halfhearted shrug, wanting to give Beca an out right away. âUm, so I gave you the lap dance and you got really weird after. Like⊠I donât know what it did to you, but it did something. Then we were dancing after, and you told me that.â Her voice quietened again, this time to a bit of a mumble. âThen you told me that I make you feel things youâve never felt before.â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca wasnât an idiot. Okay, scratch that. Beca absolutely an idiot. But she didnât have to recall the exact memory to understand what a Chloe Beale lap dance would have likely done to her--especially after the hot flashes and subsequent inappropriate dreams sheâd endured after witnessing Chloeâs pole dancing skills.Â
That last bit hit her like a bucket of ice water dumped on her head. Her mouth dried up and her hands began trembling around her coffee mug, all of those terrifying Chloe-related feelings sheâd been fighting to suppress for so damn long now creeping around her heart like tight vines. Squeezing, even as her blood pumped harder with rising panic.Â
âGod, thatâs--fuck.â How much more awkward could she have been? For fuckâs sake. Her pale skin flushed pink and a wave of conflicting emotions crashed through her, eyes pricking with glistening tears she frantically tried blinking away. âIâm really sorry, Chlo. Jesus. I shouldnât haveâŠâ Shaking her head, she set the coffee on her bedside table and scrambled to climb out of bed, that fight or flight kicking in hard as fuck right now.
CHLOE BEALE
Chloe understood the reaction. It wasnât the one sheâd expected; in reality, sheâd expected Beca to fake a laugh and make some comment about how wasted she really mustâve been. It wouldâve definitely hurt to hear, but Chloe had almost mentally prepared herself for it in the short amount of time she had to do so. She hadnât expected the reaction she actually got, though, and Chloeâs widened gaze lifted as Beca began to scramble from the bed, head quickly shaking in protest. âNo!â Chloe accidentally yelped, twisting to set her own mug down on the floor, before stretching across the mattress to gently grasp Becaâs wrist. âNo, itâs okay, you donât have to apologize. I promise, itâs okay.â She released her wrist, not wanting to literally restrain her. âItâs not like it wasâŠâ she licked her lips, some of Becaâs obvious panic leaking into Chloeâs body, too. âBec, it wasnât a one-sided conversation.â
BECA MITCHELL
Literally anyone else in the world wouldnât have been able to coax Beca to stay just then. Only Chloe had that ability, had put in the work over the years to disarm and break down layer after layer of Becaâs carefully crafted defenses. She forced a shaky breath, swallowing the massive lump in her throat. She refused to cry. She just⊠had to get her shit together. A big part of her still wanted to flee, but Chloeâs desperation rang in her tone.
Chloeâs last words hit hardest, rendering Beca speechless. She summoned all the courage she possessed (it wasnât much, she knew that) to turn back and look at Chloe full on, silently asking--pleading, even--for Chloe to elaborate, even if it clearly terrified her to do so.
CHLOE BEALE
Sometimes it was a good thing, the fact that Chloe didnât always think before she spoke. She kind of wished sheâd thought over this a little better, though. Especially seeing that look in Becaâs glistening eyes, that panic she really hated being the cause of (even if it was by recalling Becaâs own words). She couldnât take it back, though, and as her wide, sad eyes stared back at Beca, Chloe couldnât help the helpless expression on her face. âIt wasnât one-sided, Beca,â she confirmed with as much confidence as she could muster, although it was surprisingly lacking for Chloe Beale. Maybe sheâd just never had something so big riding on her shoulders beforeâeven co-leading the Bellas paled significantly in comparison to this. âItâs not one-sided.â
BECA MITCHELL
Beca hadnât realized sheâd stopped breathing, but her hitching inhale sounded almost as if sheâd been drowning and just crested for air. âOkay,â she croaked, shock and awe written all across her features as she was pretty damn sure she looked like that math meme for the past several seconds. âWow. Okay. Um.â Licking her lips, her head jerked upward and bobbed in a near frantic nod. (Which hurt her still aching head, for the record.) âGood. Okay. I mean cool.â Now she said okay three times. Get it together, Beca. Exhaling shakily, she hitched her thumb toward the bathroom. âIâm, uh--still gonna shower.âÂ
CHLOE BEALE
Although sheâd obviously remembered all of the big details very vividly, so much so that she could practically still hear Beca talking into her ear, telling her the things Chloe had recalled, there were still small additions that seemed to take a little bit longer to processâlike how Chloe had said something about them kissing, and how Beca had said they couldnât. Chloeâs heart had dropped when sheâd heard it last night, and it dropped again as it entered her mind now. In fact, this happened a lot lately⊠It would usually happen when Becaâs relationship would come up, but Chloe always pushed it aside, because it was just her being stupid, just something she couldnât fully explain or understand.
She seemed to understand it now, though, and it was the kind of terrifying thought that caused a lump to form in her throat.
âItâs notâŠâ she swallowed, suddenly kind of angry at herself. And maybe a little bit at Beca too, but she wasnât going to say so. âItâs not okay, Bec. And itâs not cool.â She slumped back slightly, blinking away the salty liquid from her eyes. âYou have a boyfriend. Itâs not cool that we said that last night, and itâs not cool that I just said it again now.â Regardless, it also dawned on her that she was not taking it back.
BECA MITCHELL
Guilt wrenched hard in Becaâs chest and she clenched her jaw. âDonât you think I know that? Iâve been feeling like absolute shit ever since he moved here because I know⊠I know I need to end it. But breaking off a five year relationship is not that easy, Chloe. He just freakinâ moved across the country to be with me and Iâm gonna be the asshole who shatters his heart.â She couldnât hold back the tears now. They spilled over, thickly streaming down her cheeks as she wiped one away angrily. âAnd if thatâs not enough to turn my world upside down, I had to go and catch stupid feelings for my best friend in the world.âÂ
Beca hated change. She was so, so bad at life transitions, and this whole thing just⊠it was enough to almost put her over the edge. âSo yeah, Iâm sorry I said anything. I know I shouldnât have and I know that makes me seem like a bigger piece of shit. So Iâm just gonnaâŠâ She needed space. She needed it now before she said anything else that might upset Chloe or trigger her own breakdown. So she puffed out a hard breath and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her before turning on the hot shower. Even though she knew all the water in the world wouldnât wash away all the built up guilt.Â
CHLOE BEALE
Recalling the previous night had been a lot, especially amidst a particularly painful hangover and the severity of what exactly they were recalling, but as Beca shot back, Chloeâs mind flew to more of their conversations. Like when they were at the park, when Beca had cried because Jesse was here, and Chloe hadnât really understood it, but sheâd known that it had broken her heart, too. Her mind rewound to the night their heating had broken, to the way Beca couldâve gone to stay with Jesse, something Chloe had literally pointed out, but Beca had chosen to stay with her instead. Everything just seemed to make sense, things that hadnât made sense before, and Chloe normally had a lot to say, but she found herself speechless now, simply watching Beca with widened eyes and tears threatening to spill over her lids.
It was so unlike Chloe not to do anything, not to say anything. It was like she was stuck in some kind of trance, Becaâs words looping over and over in her brain:
And if thatâs not enough to turn my world upside down, I had to go and catch stupid feelings for my best friend in the world.
Chloe only blinked, finally pulling herself from her wordless daze when the bathroom door opened, and somehow springing into action once itâd quickly closed. She sucked in a shaky breath as she headed for the bathroom, tugging open the door with every intention to tell Beca that that wasnât fair, that she couldnât say all of that and then just walk away. âBec, you canâtââ she started, though her words held much less bite than sheâd intended, and Chloe found herself trailing off until she was stepping, still dressed in her underwear and Becaâs hoodie, into the running shower to grasp onto Becaâs wrist again. This time, rather than letting go, she gently tugged her closer, pleading eyes scanning over her face, before pulling her into a tight, protective hug. One that Chloe actually kind of needed, too.
BECA MITCHELL
Beca wasn't exactly surprised when Chloe barged in after her. She had a track record of shower invasion, after all. And maybe⊠just maybe there was a reason Beca didn't lock the door behind her. There was a reason why "Dude, get out!" lodged in her throat, held back.
So when Chloe stepped inside, Beca didn't fight her. Instead, her fingers curled around the fabric of her hoodie and she sunk into Chloe's right embrace, her body wracking with sobs as she finally allowed herself to fall apart.
Time stretched and dragged while Beca regained control, the water soothing from above in its constant pressure. Eventually, she pulled up enough to seek Chloe's eyes--her own now red and puffy. "We're gonna be okay, right?" Beca croaked, desperation in her tone. "Whatever happens. I need us to be okay."
CHLOE BEALEÂ
It wasnât like this was the first time Chloe had ever invited herself into Becaâs shower, and Beca couldâve easily locked the door if sheâd really wanted to keep her out, so Chloe had a feeling, deep down, that Beca wasnât going to push her away. Even so, she froze up for half a second as her arms looped around Becaâs small frame, though she relaxed as she felt Beca falling into her embrace. Her heart broke all over again as she registered her sobbing, tears rolling down Chloeâs cheeks too, but she was more concerned about Beca than herself. âItâs okay,â she whispered in a teary voice, face tilting to push a soft kiss to Becaâs wet shoulder, âI promise itâs okay.â
When Beca eventually pulled just slightly back, Chloe loosened her arms, though they stayed looped around Beca, still holding onto her as her gaze fell to meet her favorite blue. Her brows tugged together while she scanned her face, head nodding gently. âOf course weâre gonna be okay,â Chloe promised, tips of her fingers brushing soothingly along the damp skin of Becaâs upper back. âWeâre always going to be okay, Bec.â She thought back to Becaâs outburst, to all of the crap she had going onâthem, Jesse, everythingâand Chloe adamantly wanted her to know that she was not alone. âWeâre going to figure this out, okay? All of it.âÂ
BECA MITCHELL
Beca clung to Chloe as though she were her single buoy in the vast ocean during a raging storm, her soothing words the calming balm she needed to desperately hear. "Okay," she rasped, sniffling. "That's good to know. Thanks, Chlo."Â
One step, one crisis at a time. She could do this--especially with Chloe's support.
Especially knowing now that she wouldn't ultimately lose both of her favorite people on the planet in one fell swoop thanks to her stupid fucking feelings.
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thesickestbeatsâ:
A Beca-esque grumble escaped and she heaved a heavy sigh, slumping harder into Chloe. She closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet scents of her sweat and shampoo, continuing to sway in perfect rhythm as they always had in all aspects of life. âJust dance with me, Chlo.â Thinking was hard. Thinking while shit-faced was harder. For once in her life, all she wanted to do was feel.
Feel the music, that is. Not her beyond confusing feelings for her best friend in the world.Â
(end.)
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thesickestbeats·:
I know. The follow-up words made Becaâs knees wobble. She sucked in a sharp breath through her nose, exhaling shakily through her mouth, hot air puffing against the patch of skin beneath Chloeâs ear. âYeah, but like⊠friends arenât supposed to wanna do that, right? Thatâs not normal.â Beca frowned. She had a âno talking about boyfriendsâ rule for tonight and she definitely didnât forget about it, but like⊠it didnât mean her situation changed. âPlus, yâknow. Even if we⊠I mean, I canât.â She didnât bother trying to suppress the whiny disappointment in her tone, either.Â
It didnât really hit her until just now, actually hearing those words leave Becaâs lips and echo into her ear from such a close proximity, how much Chloe had been kind of waiting to hear them. Wanting to hear them, in fact. Her lips pursed, eyes closing as she digested the conversation. âFriends can do whatever they want to do,â she murmured in response, chuckling under her breath at the slight whine she could hear to Becaâs tone. âI know you canât, Bec,â she nodded, brushing a soft kiss to Becaâs ear, before pulling back just far enough to shoot her a small, lazy smile. âItâs okay.â
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âIâm not blind, Beale.â Literally anyone in Becaâs position wouldâve been drooling, she was a thousand percent certain of that. But still, that niggling part of her brainâuncensored, thanks to the boozeâkept churning. She squinted, deep in thought. âI donât really get it, though.â Arms wrapping tighter, Beca leaned in and breathed her next confession against Chloeâs ear, wanting to make sure she heard every word. âYou make me feel things Iâve never felt before.âÂ
Chloeâs expression turned only more smug at that. âBut you were, like, really staring,â she teased, dropping her arm to wrap around Becaâs waist again, then instantly tightening her hold. Her head tilted as Beca continued. âWhat donât you get?â she asked, though she was cut off by the next confession, the sound of Becaâs voice so close to her ear sending that same shiver throughout her body againâeven more so considering her actual words. Maybe the bold statement shouldâve freaked her outâit would freak any normal person outâbut Chloe only hummed contentedly. âI know,â she nodded, tipping her face to whisper back in return, âLike you kind of wish we were kissing sometimes, right?â
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Chloeâs impish smile combined with her strong hand pressed against her lower back shot a shiver down Becaâs spine. Had she been sober, Beca wouldâve sputtered and denied any and all allegations regarding her experience as a spectator in Chloeâs sexy dance class. But as it was⊠she most certainly was far from sober. âYeah,â she rasped, licking her lips in an effort to provide moisture there. A smirk of her own tugged at the corners of her mouth. âI saw you, too.âÂ
Chloe was always very free with her words; Beca wasnât. Still, when she'd seen her staring at the class the other day, even filter-free Chloe had kept her mouth shut. But if Beca was loosening up right now, then Chloe saw no need for her not to do the same, and only mirrored Becaâs smirk as her gaze dropped to her lips, then rose upward again to take in her drunken expression. âI know you did,â she hummed, using the hold she still had on Becaâs finger to guide her arm around her neck again. âI think you saw me tonight, too.â
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