unspokenspeakeasy

[unspokenspeakeasy]

"i want to love you in the way you've been wanting

And that's in a motherly way

But also as a friend

And in a sibling way"

It's so fun how the dynamic changes between the 3 isn't it?

And you seem to read my mind in which one I need at any given point.

Certain things I hear In different ways and it's interesting that just in casual conversation it changes so much.

Every time I hear I love you it's in a friend way

Every time you call me cute I can't help but melt from hearing mommy call his little thing cute

And every time you question some insane shit I do I can't help but see big brothers surprise

As friends we are equal. We stand upon a pedistal high above all others. Yet with big brother I can't help but tease and push back... And with mommy and daddy I can't help but melt at your words and let you do as you wish. Say as you like. It's not like I can do anything. My mind so malleable from your words. Begging you not to hang up. Grabbing your sleeve timidly though I can't reallt do anything. Don't go mommy.. I wanna hear you tell me I'm so cute again...

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Brother loves knowing he was the first one inside you, that no matter who you tell or what you actually think, your first time was with me and no one else. I claimed you for myself and it will always be that way. You’ll keep waking up covered in my sweat and cum and you’ll never get to say no. Big brother knows best.

I don't even remember it... It's always been like this hasn't it? Ever since we moved rooms. Though its not like I don't remember the first time. How could I forget? Pretending I was asleep. When we had our own rooms. It was so warm.. Too big... It hurt a lot big brother. Don't you know? You didn't seem to care if I woke up that first time... At least not after you had gotten it all the way in. Then you grabbed me... Pulling me close to you. Fucking me like it was your last day on earth. I tried so hard not to show you I was awake... Wrapping so so tight around your cock. I could barely walk after yknow. That next day at school was so painful. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't stop thinking about your cock. Nothing would suffice. Not my fingers, None of the toys I had... Nothing worked. Its enough to drive someone mad yknow... And now you're so gentle... Or maybe I've gotten used to it. Now I can sleep through it. And perhaps thats worse. Knowing how many times you've made me cum. Not that you really care. Not that it matters. But to me it's maddening that I've never been awake to feel your cock in me again. It's maddening.

But we all have roles. We all have things we keep secret. And we all have to hide things right? You'll never know how much I hate that you never wake me up. We can never know that the other knows. Because then the illusion is broken. Then it becomes all too real for you to handle right big brother? You'll start feeling bad about it right? Don't.

You don't have to feel bad about fucking me til you pass out.

It's only natural. It's only common sense to want to.

Keep doing it. Keep going.

Or is it that if you knew I knew... It'd only make you wanna do It more? Perhaps some semblance of restraint. Restraint that hangs on by a thread. Leaving so so much evidence of what you've done everywhere. I would have noticed right? Waking up all sweaty.

I know you watch me masturbate, or at least try, getting upset every time I can't bring myself to cum because nothing suffices. The way you grab me, pinning me against you, your nails dug into my neck, your leg wrapped around me so it never slips out. Making sure you fill me up completely before you cover me in cum. Stuffing it down my throat, holding my mouth open as you mercilessly use my mouth. You don't really care if I find out. It's only a matter of time before I snap and beg you to fuck me while conscious right big brother? Knowing how pathetic and desperate I am for you. I'm so pathetic arent I? Hiding like this behind the veil of slumber.

Remember that time...no I'm sure you don't. Nobody that drunk could remember. You always wonder how those cracks in my screen got there. You threw it across the room, kissed me again and again and again and again... Your warmth penetrating every inch of my body. It's not use wearing anything around you is it? You stretched out my favorite shirt groping me.

God you're a mess.

Keep making a mess out of me big brother. Im addicted.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Begging you to hypnotize me.

As if you don't unintentionally do it

Please intend on hypnotizing me. Please. Begging. Pleading. Please.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Time passes sooo slowly doesn't it? It's not fair, even when you just have to wait for me I'm flying and connecting flights and flying more... And then I'll be there... And we can walk to your car and hold hands because you made sure to park extra far away so we could... That time we spend getting to the place where we unite... It'll take so long won't it? Forever... But then...

I wonder who will see who first

Maybe our eyes will meet

But maybe I sneak up on you and tap on your shoulder while you text me "where are you?"

Maybe it's the other way around

I'll be so nervous and clingy I already know.

Carrying my suitcase is gonna be a pain. I wanna hold your arm while we walk with both hands.

And what about the drive. The thing between our seats is so annoying isn't it?

But we'll pick up Like we always do.

I'm sorry in advance if I go quiet. I'm not upset. Or mad. Or anything bad. I may be processing. It's not every day I meet someone like you for the first time... Though I guess it's already happened once... Twice? When I first reached out... Then when we actually started speaking. Now you get to know what I'm actually like. You may have seen how I act within the confides of my house. Sure of course.

It'll take me a bit to get accustomed to being around you. It's such a treat to hear your voice. See your face. Bask in your presence.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

When I first heard tour voice I actually got lightheaded at how divine it sounded. Your voice is the only one that makes me have to pause and compose myself, the simple sound of you saying anything makes my brain melt in a way no other does. I barely remember any of the fallout you played just the sound of your voice. I was so nervous and I still get a little nervous hearing it. Like I'm undeserving of it. It's strange. I feel so close to you yet so far and I'm confused by it. Am I wrong for feeling nervous at the sound of your voice? Bracing myself for the impact of every spoken compliment you give me because if I don't I truly don't know what would happen.

I love it

[unspokenspeakeasy]

No matter how "out of nice things to say" i may be to others. I'll always keep some sugar leftover to sugar coat anything you need to hear from me. Make absolutely sure you know it's coming from the best parts of my heart. To make sure you know I love you no less than I did before saying it.

Because you're just that special to me

You're so important

You're so important

You're so important

If I wrote it any more times I'd start crying. I can feel the tears welling up every time I write it.

Perhaps the obsession is kicking back in

Can I be obsessed again?

Is that ok?

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Womp womp I wanna listen to all my music with you and hear your reaction to my sleepy time Playlist. I wonder how you'll feel when that one psychoangel song comes on. The one that samples the guy screaming "WOOOOOOOO"

"how do you sleep like this?"

I'm in a constant state of hell. How else would I sleep silly.

I love you

I can't wait to see you again

In a way that's more real than ever.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

I wanna bite your hand. Just kinda gnaw on it. I'm not sure why but when I have my retainers in it's all I can think about doing. Biting things, gnawing because there's that little bit of a shield between the sharp feel of my teeth and the things I'm gnawing on. I can't help it, I like the feel so so much.

Chomp

Chomp

Chomp

[unspokenspeakeasy]

WHAT THE HELL ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKIN DO WITH IT? OF COURSE I AM

[unspokenspeakeasy]

reading your posts over and over again, looking at every word you say, revolving around the energy you produce with them. wanting to know every single one of your innermost thoughts so that when our eyes meet i’ll never have to wonder what you’re thinking, i’ll already know.

You already do don't you see? I write here in the same way as I speak. My thoughts spilled out onto this blog for you to see. Text is just silent speaking. Nothing more to me. If you know what I write then you know what I say.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Yknow I've been using that body butter you gave me. I put it all over before going to the rave thinking "I'll smell good if I'm going to a rave.

It did not have that effect. I was so drenched in so so much sweat. It was dripping down my face. My swimsuit was wet like I had jumped into a pool.

3 hours at a rave will do that to you.

Though it got me wondering.

What it would do to you seeing me like that. So drenched in sweat in such a hot swimsuit. Yknow that picture I took was for you. "i wanna send this to them, can you take a picture?"

But I'm sure a picture wouldn't suffice for how sticky I was after the rave. How much sweat I was coated in. I wonder how you'd react to my scent then... I wonder... I bet you'd like it wouldn't you big brother. Unable to keep your hands off your sister's body even though it was "supposed" to be off limits for the con. "I don't want anyone to see the hickeys... It's a con...

That wouldn't stop you right? You'd mark me up with all the hickeys youd like wouldn't you. Pin me down and fuck me senseless because that just what big brothers do. But then it's time to clean me up right? To the shower it is where you'd probably finger me till I passed out. "you're such a bad girl for getting so dirty. I'll have to scrub here extra well."

Sigh... My hair's gonna be a mess tomorrow. He's not gonna dry it well enough... That's what wigs are for I guess.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Yea fuck tumblr for not posting the second thing. I too tired to even remember it now. Something about gingering me til I passed out and how you'd probably love how little the body butter did after the rave to mask all the sweat and musk. I put it all on before the rave and it did NOT retain any scent. I was sooo sweaty. The swimsuit was damp by the end of it. I wonder what that would do to you...

[unspokenspeakeasy]

God I just got done masturbating and your shirt already has me sooooo needy it's awful. I took a hit of my vape before passing out and buried my face in your shirt.

"my vape doesn't get me like this..." Biting my pillow entire body tensed up from the intoxicating feeling of having something you've touched. Something you've worn

Something that smells like you

Like your sweat.

I love it so much.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

You've never been just a "hyperfixation" to me. You've been an obsession since long before we met. And now I'm more interested than ever. You're never just a fleeting thought. You're one that overtakes all others. One that I stop and think about before going back to whatever minor thing I was doing.

You're never not going to be important to me

Your presence will never not mean the world to me

[unspokenspeakeasy]

You’ll never fail me, I know you won’t. You couldn’t. You are my precious creation, the embodiment of all of my love for you. Don’t you know that? I will make you perfect, I can help you be what you want to see. All you have to do, is trust me.

i'm not sure how i want to respond to this, but I couldn't agree more. What you said reminds me of this song. I've always wanted someone I could devote my existence to like this song wants. So I will continue following you, to the ends of the earth and to hell and back. My dearest goddess of desire. your desires will be heard dont hide it anymore

your instincts? ill accept them all and scare your doubts away trust me I'm a genie of the lamp a jack of all trades Take. My. Hand Offer me your heart ill take care of the pain NIGHT DRIVE "til you lose yourself, ill be the only one to satisfy you" "number one in your heart, no way to avoid me" "a mistress of ilusions, a whole world just for you. stay here forever. I wanna soothe the pain." "gather around me to be my servants, feed me your emotional treasures. my love will be penetrating your soul" "your destiny is inside me" "you had searched, here i am, the one you've looked for." "do you hear this melody? ringing deep inside, it's gonna scare your hesitation away" i could just quote this entire song and it would probably be easier than just going through it like this. it all applies here.

[unspokenspeakeasy]

My beautiful apparition✨

an apparition of your creation, only made perfect by that simple little fact. Even when i'm not there i'm always on your mind aren't i? So long as you think of me i will continue to exist

[unspokenspeakeasy]

Emotionless violent pissed off sex that turns into affectionate loving breeding once I start crying

Biting my neck til I'm all bloody turns to you kissing it as you push your cock as deep as you can into me

Pinning me away from you turns to holding me flush against your body, my head against your chest so I can feel your heartbeat

Your nails stay dug into me but now it's not angry. It's to show you're never letting go