uwu-ouo

[uwu-ouo]

[uwu-ouo]

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

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Suzanne Collins gripping my face with her hands: listen listen the first step to evil is dehumanisation, always, the second you start to see people as less than people no matter what they've done to you that's when you start heading down a path of selfish destruction and violence

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oh me? nothing much. just at my job patrolling the same linear path through a warehouse as always. yeah i can hear someone creeping around and as soon as they step into my line of sight they are dead as fuck. but not until then. cant be too hasty with these things

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scrolling thru tumblr actually gives me whiplash bc it rlly does go from:

“i was to hogtie you in the back of my car, drive out into the words where there is nobody around for miles and fuck you until your body is broken and trembling”

to

“here an informative graph on the different types of jams and jelly’s used across the different states”

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the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that

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the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

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fantasy author: But hear this. What if vikings. readers: [perk one ear, cautiously] fantasy author: But they're not historically accurate. Just the cool stuff without any of the slavery and pillaging. readers: [slowly peering out of the shadows] fantasy author: Just cool runes carved onto big-ass axes and battle hammers, braided beards and being tough as shit but also like, super organised and surprisingly high-tech for their age. readers: [distrusting, but approaching gingerly] fantasy author: Like super into war but also merchants. Showing up with goods like "yo are you here to trade or are we here to raid." Can run a bank and trade in gold but also fuck you up on a battlefield like that's their whole job. readers: [warily sniffing author's hand] fantasy author: And they're short as shit and live INSIDE MOUNTAINS! readers, suddenly delighted: DWARFS DWARFS DWARFS DWARFS

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Your daily dose of cat memes

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The IDF is counting on people to not have any critical thinking skills at this point

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reblog to share a plate of delicious waffles with your followers :D

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A fawn curled up beside a fake deer which is used for target practice. 

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you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

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joe biden is a rabid dog he should be beaten to death with a stick

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“Untitled“ by | Alberth Yang

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Hey kids, wanna learn what signs of botulism look like?