vandalka

[vandalka]

I am hurting, and the reason you don't see it is because it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. I have been hurt before, and I will be hurt again. That's nothing new.

But I struggle every day with the fact if you don't actually love me, but that's ok. I'm sure nobody has loved me before, so if you did, it would be an exception. Actually, it would be so amazing I wouldn't believe you.

And that's fucking scary.

So I keep pretending I do.

[vandalka]

I know I'm lucky. I met you, now I fear nothing at all.

[vandalka]

I want someone who can challenge my flaws-

And my egotistical beliefs I am not aware of.

Because what matters is: how pure we get

Before the eyes of the sky.

Nobody became stronger by forgetting

Or forgiving the wrong things

Take me higher and be honest

Take me to the ground if I deserved it

I want to hit so hard that it takes me through

The Earth on to the other side

To start my life again. if I need to,

But don't let me stay here. the same.

That's love. Yet,

Not after knowing better.

[vandalka]

I am me, not you.

And maybe tomorrow never comes.

[vandalka]

May I create love notes

And wear mysteries on my skin like poems

[vandalka]

Ti u snu a ja u budnom stanju

Cekam pocetak zauvijek

Nismo se sreli slucajno, bar nastojim vjerovati

Da su sve proslosti slile svoje legende u jednu

Sadasnjost, ili buducnost

Onog sto zivimo trenutno

Ali zelim ti reci da si najbolji do sada

Makar to sutra nazvala greskom

Jer nasi snovi nisu tako obicni

Gledam te kao davno izgubljeni dio

Koji sam stvarala na svijetu

Bez truda, savrseno

Ja cu stajati i gledati

Ekspanziju... i vjeruj mi

Da te nikada necu moci zaboraviti

Makar bili samo trenutak kroz vjecnosti

Sada i tko zna kad opet i gdje

Hocemo li se ikada vise sresti

Ne mozemo stvoriti ono sto nismo

Ali netko me moze takvu voljeti

Postoji li stvarno druga polovica mene

Maknuti sa sebe sva uvjerenja

Bez tuge sto nisam ono sto nisam

I nauciti voljeti

[vandalka]

This stands for everything:

wait until you can do it with love.

[vandalka]

When there is silence for too long, my mind creates explosions. When sun shines through the cloudless sky, I imagine giant meteors falling. It is clear that my mind loves disasters.

[vandalka]

I'm so ashamed of what I've done

But it still won't freeze the pain

Your innocence is like a gun

Wish I had the time to heal

And I can't let you leave

Please, would you stay just one more day

I will try to make it okay

I'm so sorry, just let me be

Could my darkness set you free?

If I let this feeling eat me,

Would you still see the real me?

Black liquid pouring from my heart

Shapeless clouds that roll the sky

Nothing that I want anymore

Just to clean the mess I made

Just stay locked inside my head

In my thoughts you will be held

[vandalka]

I overextended myself

To the point of breaking my sanity

like a rubber glove torn through the middle

To the point of ignorance

And I can't go back now

Completely unaware, I wasn't honest with myself

It's the deadly spider

Underneath my skin

waiting to devour

I'm so fucking sorry that you are left with this pain, if I only could erase it, I would tell you. I wish that blood was mine.

[vandalka]

And the wind is howling at me

In the night sky, in the night sky

And the sea, it wants to drown me out

[vandalka]

I don't wanna know the meaning of it all

Sun is the only friend of mine

I don't know a single soul

[vandalka]

You know I'm fucking crazy

To store all this inside

But I won't let it die

I walked out of my storm

I made it out alive

We know that I was fucking blind

Preach it now, sinner

Love is a lie

Our love was a lie

[vandalka]

I couldn't believe, couldn't believe

This fake ass life is happening to me

[vandalka]

Some days I just

Sit by the window

Hoping my spirit flies

And I get to catch it dreaming

There's so much for me to say

But you kept it a secret

We laid together in the sand

And watched our bodies sink

[vandalka]

Zauvjek pobijediti znaci

Voljeti sebe, sazrijevati

Polako i uporno

Sve postaje lako

Kad shvatim da je odustajanje

Najbolja borba

Kad se ne trudim pobijediti sebe

Niti mijenjati se pod pritiskom

Ljubav dolazi samo od ljubavi

Ali da bi pobijedio

Uporno i dugo treba sjediti

Kraj rijeke, i pustati korijenje

[vandalka]

Divim ti se

Toliko toga razumijes

Imas tako jasne stavove

O svijetu, o ljudima

Tako inteligentno iznosis

Svoja razmisljanja

Ali jedno ne razumijes

Sto su granice u ljudima

Gdje tvoja britkost

Prelazi u nasilje?

Tko je tu da prosudi

Gdje pocinje empatijaa

A zavrsava tvoja moc

I kad cemo shvatiti

Da tvoja ljubav nije ona

Koju trebam, nego moja

Mozda si shvatio

U meni probudio ljubav

Ali zauzvrat ne dajem

Naklonost

Poniznost

Sve sto si ocekivao

Pa sada uzimas i udaras

Ispod pojasa, u nadi

Da cu razumjeti

Da zelis opet ljubav

...

Volim te

Ali ne trebam

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