vanderslootassgiraffe

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don’t want to go to the club) the imagination

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

Discord has introduced microtransactions to make only specific users hear sound effects. Skype is back as a livestreaming platform. X is now marketing “twitter” as a paid-only private area to post in on X. There are clouds gathering above the field now. There’s an ache in your tooth when you eat something sweet, sharp and stabbing, but you put it off. The wind makes the puddles in the mud ripple after it rains. When you look out, you like to pretend they are deeper, deep enough to drown in. You wonder if you’d still be able to see just how big the cloud-heavy sky is as you fall beneath the surface. You wonder if you’d hear the first drops of rain. You wonder how the wind always seems to find you out there. The field is large, and it is cold outside. Come inside now. It’s getting late.

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship

miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR

cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not

fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee

europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”

fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”

pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

googling ‘jobs for autistic people’ and realising that everyone still thinks autistic people are either sheldon cooper or really tall toddlers

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

ngl I thought the puzzle piece as an autistic symbol meant like. I am a vital puzzle piece to your society. humans would never have invented half the things they did without us. you're telling me it means I'm missing something?? buddy. listen. listen to me reeeeaal closely. no human has all the pieces to humanity. no one. no one has all the features enables no one has all the strengths weaknesses or quirks. no one has a whole puzzle. we make the freaking complete picture together. that's the freaking point.

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

youre telling me a ham fisted this metaphor??

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

IMPORTANT!!!

that is all

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

SCARY INMATE: welcome to the warriors prison what are you in for?

ME: flowing water, still rock. a sunlit meadow and a gentle breeze

GRUFF INMATE: she's one o' them poets! get 'er, lads!

[I swiftly dispatch them with a flurry of blows]

ME: even a delicate rose has thorns..

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

SCARY INMATE: welcome to the warriors prison what are you in for?

ME: flowing water, still rock. a sunlit meadow and a gentle breeze

GRUFF INMATE: she's one o' them poets! get 'er, lads!

[I swiftly dispatch them with a flurry of blows]

ME: even a delicate rose has thorns..

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

[vanderslootassgiraffe]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here