w0nd3rb0ii

[w0nd3rb0ii]

I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever known and loved and touched and I find fragments of them in my playlists and how I make my tea. we may not know each other any more but we will stay connected like this. I hope a fragment of me is with you too.

[w0nd3rb0ii]

skipping dinner --> waking up thinner ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

[w0nd3rb0ii]

11 14 2023 update

so i binged for a hot second but i was purging ig, yesterday i had 10 cals and today was 635. tbh im trying my best but im realizing any deficit is still a deficit so im trying to lose the all or nothing mindset.

[w0nd3rb0ii]

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

🎓 my grades will go up 🎓

🕯️my weight will go down🕯️

[w0nd3rb0ii]

I feel like I wanna die but I also wanna cut my arms with broken glass, drink wine and scream into the void, but also walk all night long with my headphones, but also take some pills of zolpidem and sleep without dreaming, but also I think I just need a diet coke

[w0nd3rb0ii]

I wanna be the “she has an ed and everybody knows it but nobody tries to stop her” girl

[w0nd3rb0ii]

guys i need nicotine

i wanna stop using dispos but my novos been broken since like august bc i need a new pod and also i have no juice lmfao

[w0nd3rb0ii]

LMAO IM GONNA CRY ITS THE WAY I WAS MAD AT BEING 122. ISTG IM LIKE 145 RN KMS

may 28 2023

today was shit. i started crying over everything like 50 times

i saw six tho and it was rly good

weighed in at 122.idk

im so sad bc i actually look kinda skinny in pics from last night and now its all gone i looked kinda ode cute

anyways

caffeine water thing over the course of the day- 15

breakfast i was forced to go to a restaurant for:

plain oatmeal- 160 (might be less idk) black coffee- 0 (i started crying bc i ordered iced coffee and the waiter brought out this pretty tall drink with like cream and whipped cream and sugar and i had to send it back i said it was bc i was lactose intolerant but literally i could not do that to myself after yesterday i swear i had like 3000 cals)

dinner i cried over:

green beans- 60

2 chicken jalapeno cranberry meatballs- 80

roasted cauliflower- 90

then i had a bowl attempting to shock my system into shitting with fiber: almond milk- 25

spinach- 15

frozen berries- 100

banana- 85

flax seeds- 100

coconut- 75

granola- 65

kombucha (for probiotics)- 70

940 total for today

might kms

[w0nd3rb0ii]

11.9.2023

..where did the ed community go while i was gone

like i came back and no servers are up nothing yummys on tumblr hello???

anyways

so i dont even know how much i weigh right now

but everythings so shitty

yesterday i had 650 cals i think

today i had 380 so yum

ive been eating sooo much

and my skins shit

but christmas season and cold makes me want ballet so yeah idk how to explain that

today:

coffee (0)

venti almondmilk latte w 1 pump of sugar cookie syrup and 3 pumps sugar free vanilla (150)

peach mango green tea celsius (10)

blueberry vanilla protein shake (145)

weirdly peeled hard boiled egg and half an egg white (70)

lettuce cucumber vinegar salad thing (15)

total: 380

weight: no idea

[w0nd3rb0ii]

I'M BACKKKKKKK

hey yall

its november again

so

yeah

[w0nd3rb0ii]

saw it on twt yesterday and it's pretty much the mood

[w0nd3rb0ii]

8.11.2023

bro im so fucked im at like 140 rn im screaming

also i did it again i did exactly what i did last summer

i broke up w my gf (THE SAME GIRL) for a guy but last time we had been dating for like a week and this time we had been dating for almost 7 months like it was 4 days from 7 months andd yeah im a shit person i feel terrible but like i lost feelings yk but ive been crying ab missing her like multiple times a week but ive been w my bf for a lil over a month now

anyways i have dance team auditions tmr!

and then i leave for scotland

then i start school 2 days after i come back

so hopefully i like get un fat

so yeah

vibes r weird rn i dont feel real

[w0nd3rb0ii]

things i learned last night

anyone have any podcast recs

[w0nd3rb0ii]

i love alcohol. makes everything nice

[w0nd3rb0ii]

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

[w0nd3rb0ii]

i have 2 sides

-disappear from tumblr for weeks

-post/rb 50 things from nowhere

[w0nd3rb0ii]

edit i was literally 118 and i hate myself and also i totally jinxed it bc i cannot shit. ive had like 4500 cals in my body since ive last shit. (its been like days istfg)

may 26 2023

dying rn but i woke up at 119.2

protein shake- 60 caffeine thing- 5 trout and broccoli- 110 i think idk prob less but thats what im counting it as

trying not to eat popcorn at movie night

also my lil caffeine powder makes me shit so thats nice hope i dont jinx it fr update: popcorn-65 caffeine thing again- 10 more caffeine thing- 5

total: 255

i shit a lil but i weighed myself tonight and was 120.4 so i need to shit before the party tm

also im gonna try to fast until the party bc i dont wanna drink a lot but i wanna get drunk

also bathing suits