pansies
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“How do you make someone love you? For the very young, there can be nothing harder in the world. You may try as hard as you like: place yourself beside them, cook their favourite food, bring them wine or sing the love songs that you know will move them. They will not move them. Nothing will move them. You will waste days interpreting the simple banalities of a phone call; months staring at their soft lips as they talk; you will waste years watching a body sitting in a chair and willing every muscle to take you across the room and do a simple thing, say a simple word, make them love you and you will not do it; you will waste long nights wondering how they cannot feel this — the urge to embrace, the snow melt in the heart when you are near them — how they can sit in that chair, or speak with those lips, or make a call and mean nothing by it, hide nothing in their hearts. Or perhaps what they hide is not what you want to see. Because surely they love someone. It simply isn’t you.”
— Andrew Sean Greer, The Story of a Marriage
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The stream, Hosking’s Wood, Lamorna - Samuel John Lamorna Birch
British, 1869 -1955
Oil on board , 35.6 x 28 cm. 14 x 11 in.
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repeating this like a mantra 🧘🏾♀️
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Maybe you aren’t annoying, maybe they were just annoyed. Maybe your entire personality can’t be boiled down to actions others found disruptive. Maybe peoples feelings are subjective views of you, not objective. The same way we teach kids to say “I feel angry when you do this thing” instead of “you made me angry!” maybe you should consider that people, due to their own personal beliefs about social interaction, felt annoyed in response to your actions but that that doesn’t necessarily mean you did something bad or are something bad. And while its sweet that you want to make sure people don’t have negative feelings, there’s a lot of humans in this world and we’re always going to be stepping on each others toes so maybe don’t let people feeling annoyed with you define you.
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“A book can teach you, a conversation can assure you, a poem can seduce you, a genius can inspire you but only you can save yourself.”
— Anthony Anaxagorou (via thoughtkick)
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