waterfallscreams

[waterfallscreams]

If I were to say that it is in the early hours of the day where I feel my loneliest I would be lying

Although I do feel it then, I also feel it at 2 in the afternoon, 7 in the evening, and on the subway ride home from work, while cooking a meal, feeding my cat and even when I’ve just opened my eyes in the morning

I am my loneliest all of the time

//the secrets of my heart-A.s.C

[waterfallscreams]

Oh what a fool to believe that I could actually be loved

Their eyes bearing into me, what is it they hold?

Adoration? Disgust? Curiosity?

Developing a liking for someone the symptoms feel like psychosis

The human brain tortures itself beyond belief

Do they like me? Do they care? Will this euphoric feeling between us last or fade?

Endless questions without answers

It’s horrid how disgusting I feel after giving a piece of my mind to someone

Letting them see a glimpse into who I am

Revealing to them that I am a human being with a fucked up past and emotions

For them to do the one thing I hoped they wouldn’t

Leave

//the secrets of my heart-A.s.C

[waterfallscreams]

I hate that I can develop feelings so quickly

I hate that passion runs through my veins like a burning fire

I hate that I memorize every little detail about a person when I enjoy spending time with them

I hate that the dopamine levels in my brain are easy to trick

I hate that I feel like in this lifetime I’ll never be enough

I hate that expressing my feelings feels like pulling teeth

I hate that I yearn to love and be loved

//the secrets of my heart-A.s.C

[waterfallscreams]

Woe

Oh is it a poets woe to feel nothing

When you’re vexed, melancholy, or enamored I suppose it’s easy to talk about how you feel

But if there’s a void where emotion should lie then there’s a whole new ordeal to consider

Am I somber about this? Does it infuriate me?

To both, yes

Yet still there are no expressions that play into my mind

[waterfallscreams]

i just think that love letters, like- someone sitting down and taking the time to write down all of their feelings because they need to tell you in a way that lasts longer than them just telling you? god, when

[waterfallscreams]

oh how sweet it must be to have someone want you, love you, cherish you ?!! simply because you exist

[waterfallscreams]

I am not meant for casual. I was born for soul crushing devotion.

[waterfallscreams]

I have a sorrow in my heart I fear I will never be ridden of and that scares me

I am worried by at the end of all of this I will be someone completely different

But is that necessarily a bad thing?

It consumes me.

[waterfallscreams]

How much longer until I kill myself?

[waterfallscreams]

God how am I supposed to tell you that I’d rip my heart out of my chest and give it to you as a present if I could?

[waterfallscreams]

Idk

I have no idea why I’m typing this, yet here I am. At 10:33pm in bed, and I just found her. Yes her, the girl you’re in love with. I didn’t get it at first but after reading your emo ass finsta post about her I think I do. I’m not going to lie to you it made me feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I feel like a thousand tiny knives are piercing my heart, but I already knew this would happen. This always happens. I think you know that I like you, I’m sure it’s obvious I was never really good at hiding things like that. But I don’t think you know why I like you. I like the mischievous glimmer in your eyes, the way you try to hide your face when you smile, and the way you have to go on your tippy toes to see through cam 1. I like it when you cross your arms and try to be nonchalant but I know you’re just a soft boy with intense feelings. I like when you try to make me laugh, and pry information out of me. I like the way you dress, the way we have similar music tastes, the way you look at me. I like the way you can actually pick up a book and read it, the way you got a bit jealous in the elevator, and the way you’ve changed into a hopeless romantic…..although not for me. I want us to be something, I guess that’ll never happen though.

[waterfallscreams]

“The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.”

— Yasmin Mogahed

[waterfallscreams]

Loved

I loved him

With every fiber of my being

I loved him

At the beginning of each day

And at the end of each night

I loved him

So much my heart still aches to this day

I loved him

But did he ever really love me?

[waterfallscreams]

12:30am

Chilly

I love the feeling of the breeze on my cheeks

It wakes me up

Makes me face reality

This is the world

My world

The lights shine from the flashing signs and I feel warm inside

I’m gaining abundance, a happy soul & a peaceful heart

Maybe I’m ready to love again

Maybe

[waterfallscreams]

A new chapter in my life 🤍

[waterfallscreams]

I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care you’re fine you have someone to hold you you’re not entirely alone I won’t worry

[waterfallscreams]

354 </3