wexlerr

[wexlerr]

by the way i'm the reason why they send weathermen into hurricanes and shit. "it's needless and dangerous!!!!!" i don't care. every day i call into CNN and demand they send their most pathetic newscaster into a storm to watch them be knocked down by wave and wind and they sigh and say yes ma'am. and i do this all for nasty, sexual purposes, if you were wondering.

[wexlerr]

adjacent advice: if you need more confidence, get a cool jacket or a haircut or something and think about how cool it makes you. this is loser advice, but we're all losers here. swallow your pride and roleplay as a cool guy and you'll become a cool guy.

[wexlerr]

always thinking about that anti abortion story where the baby came out the pussy laughing and the drs immediately started beating the shit out of it

[wexlerr]

[wexlerr]

so if you google "__ puns" you mostly get a bunch of AI websites as the top results, and i am kind of fascinated by them, because they read exactly like the kind of jokes little kids tell when they have recently learned about the concept of Humour but they're too young to understand why things are funny:

great job everyone let's hit the showers

[wexlerr]

the underwhelming dense pang of sadness mixed with the loss of personal identity and opportunity that goes hand-in-hand when you're forced to live with your parents as someone well into their adult years lol

[wexlerr]

disrespectful.

[wexlerr]

I'm going to start traumacore posting on linkedin

[wexlerr]

what if a child was dying of sensory issues and their make a wish was that they got to be considered punk

[wexlerr]

i understand stoners of the 60s and 70s deeply because if i didnt have computer and internet and all i had to entertain myself was prog rock and pulpy sci fi fantasy novels i would be smoking hella and imagining kingdoms of gnomes and alien prophesies all day too and lord knows i would have been impressed by air brush paintings

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spending money while unemployed makes every purchase over 5 dollars feel like 9/11

[wexlerr]

grinding and cramming for finals when I'd rather be grinding and cramming. in like a sex way or something. i guess. i dunno. shuffles away sadly. hits my head on a low-hanging branch and bleeds out in the snow

[wexlerr]