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“The pope should have a backup Vatican in Oklahoma called Popelahoma”
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“My conscience is an egg”
-Egg-conscience
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“Talk equipoise to me, baby”
-PublicHealthMajorsBeLike
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“I think we should rename Vatican City.....POPElahoma”
-*sigh*
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“Woah guys, I made my peanut butter and jelly on toast, I am clearly the most fancy bitch in the land”
- themostfancybitchintheland
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“We all love butt slugs”
-MakesMoreSenseInContext
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“I think deciding not to fart on your stuff earns me the title of not rude”
-HowLongUntilSheCanLeaveAgain??
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“That’s right, total organ failure, baby😎”
-PlagueInc.
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“Why didn’t my baby come pre-washed?? I even paid extra!”
-shedoesn’tactuallyhaveababy
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“Well butter my pancake and call me toast”
-she’sgoingtocollege😭
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“I just wanna give a shoutout to the moth that kept dive-bombing my face last night...I named it Jim.”
-shemadeafriend
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“I wish I had a bunch of organs I could arrange so I could be ‘organ’-izing
-SheWantsToBeADoctor
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“I love seeing the frozen bags of blood in the blood bank...I’m like, that’s real, that’s real blood”
-VampireSister
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“My tits scream into the void, and the void screams back and says ‘we’re all full here’.”
-dudewhy
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“I should just, like, snort essential oils”
-she’sjokingIswear
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“I graduated; I can drink stupid water now”
-MYBABYGRADUATED
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“Only pansy-ass bitches need just one toddler room teacher to keep them from getting what they want”
-sheusedtoputyogurtonherstomach
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