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whatwillbe-blog · 6 years

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Chapter 58

“I have words with you…”

I slowly turn in the direction of Robyn’s mother with a soft smile on my face. When we finally emerged from the room we were thrown into the middle of huge kickback/bar-b-que preparations. It seems word got around the island that me and Mijo were here so they all wanted to come and party it up with us. If I’m honest even I know the main draw to and for this party is Mijo. I don’t know what it is but it’s Mijo mania every time he comes here. I’ve been here a time or two without him and the main comments and questions thrown my way are always about him, where’s he’s at, and if he’s coming with me the next time I come to visit. I know folks here love me but they love Mijo so this whole kickback is really all about him. I’m not sure if Mel has told everyone about their engagement but when they do find out I already know the love for him will explode and damn near push Melissa out of the way on the love scale. I can probably give her a tip or two on how to handle being thrown to the side for a little Mijo love but something tells me she welcomes it here.

At least Robyn’s people love me more. They’ve pushed her to the side for me and she hates it. She literally pouts until she gets her way but they still love me more. Every time I’m around them I get all the extra love everyone else heaps on Mijo. He steals a little bit of love from time to time but I’m still loved the most. They love me and I love them and being around them is always the best time. I wish me and Robyn could come here more than we do but life in LA is crazy busy and the rare time we get off flying anywhere ain't even possible. In some ways I’m convinced that’s why all the extra love is thrown my way but I’m not complaining and I happily take it all.

Her family… they’re good people and being able to spend anytime with them is a good damn time. Her aunts and cousins… even when we weren’t together always went out of their way to make me feel welcomed. I got so many offers to drop Robyn and come their way until she caught a clue and I couldn’t do anything but laugh at each request because in between Robyn’s every over reaction I knew deep down that no matter who made the request it would never happen. Although with every sweet smile sent in my direction Noella just might steal me away. Even as I had that thought I knew it was nowhere near true but I can’t help but marvel over the fact that despite knowing her for years she still blushes, turns shy, and hides away whenever I smile back in her direction. I’ve never knowingly been someone’s crush before so I can’t help but give her a little piece of my heart as she does the same for me.

“You hear me boy…”

Softly smiling in her direction, “I’m sorry Ms. Monica… you wanted to talk to me?”

“You try and trap me daughter?”

“Huh?”

“You try and trap me daughter and make her stay with you?”

“Ms. Monica… I… where… where is this question coming from?”

“Answer me wife… what you do to our daughter?”

Slowly shaking my head, “Nothing…”

“You make her pregnant and trap her to you because you argue…”

“Where…” quickly shaking my head as I looked between the two of them, “who in the hell told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter… are you trying,,,”

Softly sighing as I interrupted their question, “I’m not trying to do anything but love your daughter…”

“With your penis… you use protection with her?”

Shaking my head once again, “I’m not answering that…”

“I want an answer…”

“No…”

“Answer me boy or…”

“Answer what?”

My gaze slowly turned to Robyn literally not knowing how to respond to her question. I’m still sitting here dumbfounded over where her parents’ sudden questions about me and trapping their daughter came from. I would never do that regardless to how much Robyn and I may or may not argue. Where they got that bullshit I don’t know but I went from dumbfounded to pissed the more I thought about it. They knew me better than that so for them to even attempt to question me about it is making me feel a way about it.

“Baby…”

“Your mother…” softly sighing not even sure I want to answer her question, “your parents were asking me if I’m trying to trap you…”

“Trap me how?”

“Make you pregnant….”

Quickly looking in the direction of her father, “Why the hell would he do that?”

“You argue and he want to keep you with him…”

Shaking her head, “That don’t make any sense…”

“Did you argue? Is that why you run here and hide?”

Turning her gaze in her mother’s direction, “I’m not hiding from him…”

“Does he use protection?”

“Mommy!”

“You argue and you run here… now he here and you no use protection… he try and trap you to him so you can’t run again…”

Softly whispering, “I can’t believe this…”

“Your mother and I worry bout you and…”

Quickly shaking her head, “We’re not about to have this conversation… what me and Chris do… with or without protection is our business…”

“We worry…”

“You know Chris… you know he’s not about that… I don’t know where these questions and doubts came from but get rid of them…”

“Watch how you talk… you not too grown not to get put back in ya place…”

Softly sighing before she continued, “Mommy I love you and respect you and daddy but you questioning Chris like this is wrong. I’ve been in California for years now and know him just as long… all he do is love and protect me. He don’t have to trap me to make me stay…”

“But you argue…”

“We argue but so what? That don’t change nothing between us… I come here to help Melissa pack up… not to run from Chris…”

“We just concerned after what Leandra tell us…”

Softly sighing as I finally spoke once again, “I don’t know what Leandra told you but I love Robyn too much to try and trap her with a pregnancy or anything else…”

“So you use protection?”

“Mommy please…”

“Use protection… I’m not ready to become anybody’s grandmommy…”

Thankfully whatever this was ended and her parents disappeared back into the party like this conversation never happened. I turned my gaze in Robyn’s direction and I could read every emotion on her face. Normally this would be the time where I would pull her to me whispering to her to stay calm and let whatever she was feeling go but quite honestly I don’t have to want or have the words to do so. That whole whatever could have been avoided if not for one person. I love her… I love her like a sister but Leandra is making it hard as hell to like her ass right about now. I thought she was just playing angry with all of her words and antics when I first got here but for her to wrap up some bullshit story and feed it to Robyn’s parents is too damn much. I don’t know what she thought would happen or what exactly Robyn’s parent could or would do but she wasted her time for nothing. Her loud ass cackle breaking through both of our thoughts Robyn took off before I had the chance to even attempt to stop her and the only thought going through my head was how long it would take before someone would have to rush over and pull them apart.

Whatever she was saying to her was nothing nice because the smirk that forever seemed to cover Leandra’s face was gone and replaced with another completely different emotion. Their conversation intense they went back and forth at each other eliciting stares, headshakes, and added words from their friends that surrounded them. I’m not sure what Leandra said but Melissa had to suddenly jump in between the two of them to hold Robyn back. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that damn angry and I’m sure if I even attempted my words would calm her down. As I went to try Sonita and Noella drug her away as Melissa turned her words and wrath back in Leandra’s direction. Whatever Robyn didn’t get the chance to say Melissa said and then some and before long Leandra it was Melissa’s turn to be pulled away from her and the situation. My gaze locked with Leandra from across the room and for the first time since I met her I didn’t know the person staring back at me.

Before I had the chance to get to her Robyn was pressed into work running around and doing whatever her aunts and mother demanded of her. They saw that little scene of Robyn and Leandra going back and forth and they weren’t happy at all. Noella came to me and whispered that Monica and company put her to work to keep her and Leandra apart. I understood their reasoning but while they were keeping her away from Leandra they were also keeping her away from me. The most we could do was share longing looks across the kickback at each other. In their keep away though I had a chance to talk to Robyn’s father man to man.

From the second I met Ronald I liked him instantly. He was like that cool father in the neighborhood that got on you when you were doing something stupid but would still smoke weed with you on the front stoop. Like he would know everything you was doing wrong and then tell you about his mistakes and fuck ups to keep you from going along the same path. He always knew the right thing to say so him coming at me earlier threw me for a loop but as we talked back and forth I understood where he was coming from, He wants what’s best for his daughter and that shit Leandra brought him and Ms. Monica earlier he had to come and check me. He knows I’m a good dude but he just had to be sure. Sharing a quick dap and I promise to kick it later Ronald purposely went in the opposite direction of his wife and sister-in-laws and instead partied it up with Rorrey and his crew of friends.

I’m sitting to the side feeling alone only able to watch my baby as her mother and aunts kept her running and working during the kickback. I’m a little pissed cause Melissa and Mijo are hugged up once again and I’m sitting here waiting for a chance. I’m almost tempted to run up behind her and rub up on her while whispering and promising to her what we can and will do later but after that talk I just had with her parents I don’t think that would too good an idea. The thought of us having a baby right now… I love Robyn but hell no. I know I go on and on about her being my baby mama and us old and gray rocking away our final days but that’s years in the future. A baby mow wouldn’t do either one of us any good. If it were to happen I would love it with every piece of my heart and soul but if the choice was up to me it wouldn’t be happening for a long damn time and judging from Robyn’s reaction she’s probably thinking the same damn thing.

But here I am… sitting by myself missing and lusting after my girl and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Then again… with all the damn people here I might be able to pull her to the side and do more than just rub up against her. When I say there are a lot of people here that would be a damn lie. It literally looks like every damn person on the island is at this kickback. I swear I’ve never seen that many people at one place all celebrating the same damn thing. I’m not even sure what we’re celebrating right now but folks are literally tripping over each other and they don’t seem to mind it at all. Truth of the matter… regardless to what’s being celebrated that fact that Mijo is here is probably enough for most people here. One of these days I’m going to come here and get the same damn treatment but for right now I’m stuck on the sideline trying to catch my girl’s eye. My efforts haven’t gone in vain… every now and again she would look my way and give me a quick flash of what I’m over here lusting for. One more flash though… parents or no parents… warning or no warning… an island full of nosy eyes… I’m going to get mine.

“Everybody ‘ere huh…”

Slowly nodding as some unknown sat next to me, “Hell yeah… I’ve never seen this many people in one place ever unless I’m at a damn concert or something…”

“I don’t see no one singing ‘ere…”

“Exactly…”

“You enjoying it though…”

Nodding once again, “Yeah it’s cool…”

“I never see you before… who you ‘ere with?”

“You can probably tell by the voice I’m not from here…”

Softly laughing, “I figure as such…”

“I came from Cali to come see my girl…”

“You miss her huh?”

Softly sighing, “Like crazy… that’s why I came here so I can take her little ass home with me…”

“You live together?”

“No but we might as well… after everything we’ve been through I’m not trying to let her out my sight…”

Slowly nodding, “I understand ya… I came back ‘ere to get me gyal as well…”

“That’s what’s up… y’all together or…

“For now apart… I don’t take no for answer… we both know where this is headed and that’s together…”

“Well if the feelings are still there I say go for it and good luck…”

“Thank you… what you do back in Cali?

“Dance, draw, paint, design… you name it I try it… me and my girl got a clothing company together and my brother is about to introduce photography to me. I want pictures of my girl that only I can take so…”

Softly laughing, “I think I know what kind of pictures you talking about… you don’t need a special photo class for that…”

“I ain't worried about them kind of pictures… but when I look at my baby I see a side of her… a kind of beauty that she only shows me… I want to capture that picture… that look so I can show it to her and then ultimately paint it on every damn wall… sketchbook… notepad… canvas I can find…”

Softly laughing as he shook his head, “She got you gone….”

“I know and I’m ok with it… excuse me for a second my man…”

I started to rise and go to her but instead my gaze followed her as her mother once again pointed her in a direction opposite of mine. I’m not sure she was even headed towards me but watching it stopped before it was truly a possibility had me close to going to Ms. Monica and begging for a moment or two with my girl. A brotha is over here suffering here and I need some type of lifeline. As I contemplate running up on her I stopped and watched instead as Leandra went to her throwing her arms around her obviously apologizing to her over and over again. My baby tried ignoring her and her apologies but their friends that surrounded the little hugfest wasn’t having it.

After hugging Robyn they pulled Melissa into the circle and made Leandra apologize to her as well. How they got Melissa away from Mijo I don’t know but Leandra had to do her beg and grovel act for her as well and Melissa looked about as accepting as my baby did which only made Leandra get louder and more over the top with her antics.

Softly mumbling to myself, “I swear I can’t stand her ass sometimes…”

“Too loud for no reason…”

I slowly turned my gaze completely in this unknown dude’s direction. It’s one thing for me to say how I’m feeling about Leandra considering all the damn drama she tried to cause today but for this unknown co-signer to not only agree with my words but add some of his own I’m not feeling it. Like who the hell is dude and what fixed it in his mind to make him think it was ok to down talk my irritating friend and I wouldn’t say nothing behind it?

“You know Leandra?”

“Unfortunately…”

“How?”

Slowly shrugging, “It’s a island ting… everybody know everybody…”

“I don’t know you…”

“You not from island… only date girl from ‘ere…” softly laughing seeing the look on my face, “I mean no harm…”

“If you say so…”

Our conversation momentarily ended as we once again watched Leandra, Melissa, Robyn, and the rest of their girls cut up with each other. I’m trying to use every one of my telepathic skills to get Robyn to look my way so I can be away from Mr. Unknown and the sudden vibe he’s giving off. After a while of prolonged silence I couldn’t help but wonder if my whole reaction to his words were a bit of overreaction because I’ve been away from Robyn for too damn long. And right when I attempted to open my mouth to get the conversation going again he opened his instead instantly justifying the dislike I was feeling towards him.

“I be glad when that bitch finally gone…”

“Who you talking about now and where the hell are they going?”

Slowly shaking his head, “I use the wrong word on her… she not a bitch but she come off like that sometimes… always butting in business she didn’t belong…”

“I’m at a loss…”

“Melissa… she good people but when she get up in ya business she too much…”

“If you don’t much like Mel or Lee why the hell you at they kickback?”

“No need to get testy…”

“Ain't nobody getting testy… but you up in their place opening yo mouth talking mad shit about the both of them… something ain’t right about that…”

“Everybody else from de island is ‘ere… I come too to talk and have a good time regardless to who throw the kickback… I’m trying to make good impression on me girl…”

“How exactly you doing that sitting and talking to me?”

“You not a known face… needed to know if I had competition…”

“Who’s your girl?”

Slowly shaking his head, “You don’t know her…”

“Probably not but I’m sure my baby does… I can put in a good word about you or…”

“No need for that… me girl knows what’s up… we do this ‘ere all ‘de time…”

“You sure about that? She could have another man by now…”

Slowly shaking his head, “She know better… but man or no man she’ll be right back in me bed telling me she’s sorry for ever trying somebody new… it’s a game we forever play…”

“What’s your name? I wanna tell my baby this shit…”

“Yohan… but you don’t have to tell your girl or mine about me being ‘ere… she find out soon enough. If I see you around I speak… maybe I show you real island and what goes on ‘ere…”

“Yeah whatever…”

Sharing one last look he walked away with a definite smirk on his face. I had to push back my hot head ways because if we were any other place other than Mel and Lee’s place that smirk and whatever the hell it meant would have been figured out. I’ve never seen dude before but from the moment he sat next to me he was on some shit. Every damn thing that came out of his mouth was calculated and I been around enough bullshitters to know he was laying it on thick thinking I was falling for mess he was saying. His whole ex-girl chatter didn’t make sense so my next question is what the hell was his purpose of sitting next to me and starting that bullshit ass conversation? If I had half a mind I would put that shit off on Leandra considering the other nonsense she tried to start tonight but the only thing I believed during his whole talking was his dislike of Leandra and Melissa so again who the hell is homie and why the hell did he signal me out?

“What’s wrong with you Mr. Grumpy?”

Slowly shaking my head as I frowned, “I’m not grumpy…”

“Well your face says something different…”

“If I’m looking grumpy it’s because my future mother-in-law has been playing keep away with me and my girlfriend and all I wanted to do was feel on her booty one good time or two…”

“You should have come and felt on it then…”

“And have to deal with Ms. Monica?” slowly shaking my head as I continued, “that talk from earlier was more than enough…”

Slowly rolling her eyes, “Tell me about it…”

“And why the hell Leandra go and tell them some bullshit about trying to trap you with a damn pregnancy?”

“Cause she a cunt in need of a good piece of dick to shut her ass up…”

“Well I can’t help with that…”

“Actually you can…”

“Come again?”

“When she moves to LA…”

“If…”

“Do you really think she stay here while me and Mel are in LA?”

“If she moves there where the hell is she staying?” quickly shaking my head seeing the knowing look that suddenly covered Robyn’s face, “aww hell no… if she is staying with you her ass can’t come!”

“Baby…”

“I’ll never get none then…”

“Is that all you care about?”

“Yes!”

“We can always go to your house…”

“With her petty ass she will probably pop up and block me there too…”

“That’s why we have to find her some dick to distract her…”

“I already told you I can’t help her ass… only one chick is getting this dick…”

“You goddamn right… you ever think of giving it to somebody else I cut it off first…”

Slowly looking her up and down, “Calm all that shit down Lorena…”

“You just try me…”

“You already know I’m not on that anymore…”

Slowly nodding her head knowing the truth of my words, “I know someone you can point in Leandra’s way…”

“Who?”

“Keeis…”

Quickly interrupting her before she could continue, “No!”

“Baby…”

“I’m not about to do that to my cousin…”

“Chris…”

“Do you even know how much my family would hate me? They barely tolerate my ass as is… imagine if I put Leandra on him…” slowly shaking my head, “Keeis ain't never did anything to me to deserve that…”

“We have to find her somebody…”

“Let her find own dick…”

“But…”

“If that’s what you came over here to talk to me about you can go back other and keep ignoring me…”

“I wasn’t ignoring you…”

“The hell you weren’t…” slowly shaking my head as I ranted, “left me here and I got stuck in a conversation with some damn dude that was on some other shit… punk was talking out the side of his neck not saying nothing and when I called him on it he changed his shit up again…”

“Baby…”

“I been over here all damn night waiting for you and when you finally come over here you talking about Leandra and what she needs… I ain’t with it… her… or her janky ass attitude… I can’t even wrap my head around having to deal with all of that when we go back home… and you want me to put all of that on my baby cousin… I can’t… I won’t… I…”

My words were cut off as Robyn covered my mouth with a kiss. I don’t know what the kiss was for but I needed and appreciated it. And as her mouth opened moving her tongue slowly against mine all thoughts of Leandra, her moving to LA, finding someone to distract her, ruining my cousin in the process was forgotten. It’s not that I think Leandra is a bad person but she’s not the person my cousin needs and I won’t do that to him. Hell the last thing I want to do is worry about or intervene in Leandra’s dating life… I’m already struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that she will be moving there… who’s she dating and doing will be the last thing on my mind. A soft whisper of a moan I put touch into our little oral conversation but it seems our friends have other plans. A firm grip of what’s mine I pull Robyn into me only to be pulled apart from her only to be dragged to the dance floor. Apparently, Mel and Mijo called us out claiming they could out dance me and my baby. They know damn well that ain't true but if they want a battle so be it. The beat of the music changing I pulled Robyn back to me once again and got my feel on making up for all the time I missed. Thankfully Leandra found something to occupy her time but the feel of Robyn rubbing and grinding and feeling right back on me she and whatever she was doing didn’t even matter. Whoever dude was from earlier was forgotten as well and the only thing I thought about for the rest of the night was my girl and how good she felt to me.

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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I am here for that ass whooping because boy does he deserve it, and hopefully someone to talk trash to him too like he did Robyn outside that store.

if chris ever finds out it definitely will come.... the question now is if he finds out.... and if he does who tells him......

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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I hope that birth control is A1 too lol because the way they are going in they are nasty lol but I am glad he came to see her she needed him

It's iron clad so ain't no babies coming from her no time soon... she needed him just as much as he needed her... he was losing it away from her too.... thanks for reading!

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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Chris is trying to give Robyn a gift before they leave Barbados and she needs to tell him about her ex so he can beat his ass

i don’t know if chris or robyn is ready for that gift...... he can still beat the ex’s ass but here’s hoping her birth control is A-1

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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I love your books so I'll wait and read whenever you update❤️... anyways... Oh definitely she needs to spill all the tea to him, because that ass of a man will not stop harassing her. So for her sake and his she better tell him we don't want another Cullen situation when they're still trying to move past that mess.

thank you..... i agree in that she needs to open her mouth and tell everything about yohan from when they were once together to the fuckery he’s pushing now... it’s in yohan’s best interest to stop now because he has a long overdue ass whooping and chris and others won’t hesitate to give it to him.....

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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Worth the wait Damn that was one hell of a chapter, Robyn and her tricks no wonder Christopher can't get enough. I tried to imagine that move she did on him where she ended up on reverse cowgirl 👀👀💀 guuuurl no questions why Chris is so gone, she puts it down. Poor Leandre but she also deserves it after keeping them apart the whole day. It's good they getting this out the way before Chris goes to give someone a well deserved beating. Thank you for updating can't wait to read what happens next

leandra don’t even know why she’s complaining.... she saw how much robyn was missing chris and how badly she needed him there so her whole angry shenanigans was silly at best..... as badly as robyn was feenin for chris she was about ready to break out any and every trick she can think of.... and he enjoyed every one of them..... chris and yohan coming face to face..... first ms robyn will have to open her mouth and telling him everything about her past with yohan.... if and when that happens it’s in yohan’s best interest that he keep his distance but i can pretty much spoil it now that he won’t..... thanks for being patient and still deciding to read......

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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Chapter 57

It’s crazy… when I first got here everybody and they mama was going off on me, cussing me out, and damn near telling me to leave and not to come back until she was by my side. And yet the second I attempted to leave all I got instead was talk and complaints about how I never come home no more and how badly they wanted me to stay. When Mijo called I was ready to hop a flight and go back to Los Angeles so we could get on another flight to Bridgetown and go get our women but my family put an end to that plan. They held on so damn tight Mijo ended up flying to me so we could leave out of Virginia together.

His arrival delayed us a few more days because my mother, sister, aunts, and female cousins had to heap a bunch of loving on him as well. My family took to Mijo from the moment they met him and it’s the same thing everything he comes around. They love up on him hoping to chase away that sad vibe the estrangement from his sister and family had on him. They love up him until they see genuine smiles and then they hug up a little more tighter. Punk said he was in a rush to go and get his girl but he ate up and loved every minute of the over love my family gave to him. Shit almost made me mad especially when he joined the choir of folks voicing my faults when it came to Robyn which resulted in even more loving from them. One more “Mijo so smart” comment I was that much closer to not going with him but then I would get a picture from Robyn and every not going thought was forgotten.

I’m convinced she’s trying to torture and kill me instantaneously. In every picture her bikini is getting smaller and smaller and her pose is getting sexier and sexier. I thought sending her that video would calm her little hot ass down but the shit she sent me back in return almost had me blowing up my mama’s house by instant combustion and going to my pastor and confessing all my sins cause damn. How her fingers can go that far inside of her coupled with how she had her body arched and angled… I swear that image damn near had me falling to me knees praying for strength, sanity, and a weeklong erection when we finally come face to face. The things I want and will do to her are so damn unholy even my mama’s prayers might not be enough to save me, her, or our admittance to our heavenly home. Her body is just… it makes me want to do things that will have us both in traction after we do them once, twice, or a dozen times.

I miss being with her like that. During that whole dual dating nonsense she made so many vows about how we wouldn’t sex each other crazy cause it wasn’t fair to McCreepy but the second after she would make that vow we was right back at it. I’d tell her some bullshit about just putting the tip in and she would go along with it knowing all along that I was lying. One time I promised her that I would lay flat with no touching and just let her grind on me until we both got off and yet before I could even attempt to not keep my promise she was riding the shit out of me telling me where to touch, tease, rub, and suck. She did this reverse twist with her hips and literally spun around on me pulling out a reverse cowgirl that had my ass screaming and begging for a reprieve.

“What are you thinking about…?” Slowly smiling as I looked over at Mijo, “You already know…” “I don’t even want to imagine the two of you together when y’all finally come face to face…” “I’m going to behave myself… I don’t know about Robyn…” “Punk whatever… I heard your struggle breathing when you were checking your phone a couple of nights ago…” “If you had seen that damn picture…” quickly shaking my head, “shit I’m glad it was just a picture… if it had been a video I’m more than sure my mama would have disowned my ass by the time I was done…” “I don’t even want to ask but…” “The shit was so damn beautiful… if I could… damn…” “That good?” “If I could I would get that damn pic tatted on the palm of my hand so whenever I beat my shit I can fake like she the one doing it to me…” Shaking his head as he frowned at me, “Don’t make me go back to ignoring yo ass…: “Punk you asked… “That don’t mean you was supposed to tell me…” “I bet Mel got yo ass twisting too…” Softly laughing, “Why the hell you think we on this damn plane… I’m going crazy without my Sweetness…” “Y’all too much…” “You remember the first time we came to BIM with our little Songbird?” “That’s when you started calling her that…” “I didn’t know she had a voice on her until we went there and her people made her get in front of everybody and sing… the look on your face…” “I was in fucking awe… when we got back home I made her sing for me every chance I could…” Softly laughing again, “Y’all corny…” “I know you ain't talking…” “Shut up and go back to lusting over a damn picture…” “You better hope I don’t have to go to the bathroom…” Shaking his head, “I can already tell we won’t be talking by the time we get to BIM…”

Laughing as Mijo put back on his headphones in his attempt to ignore me I can’t stop my mind from going back to the first time Robyn brought me and Mijo to Barbados with her. Mijo and I asked her so many damn questions about her family and friends on the way over there. We were getting on her nerves asking question after question but for whatever reason we wanted to make a good impression on her people and let them know that we were in LA taking good care of Robyn. We face timed Melissa and Leandra countless times before but to actually come face to face with them had both me and Mijo shaking in our damn boots. When I took Robyn to Tappa everybody instantly loved her and she told me I would get the same love in return but still I wasn’t too sure. But with first glance at her friends as we stepped off the plane it was like we knew them forever and everything we good from that point on. They had us all over that island and by the fourth day we had perfected our accents and was claiming Bridgetown as our own.

Coming to visit Barbados was everything she promised it would be and if we could have we would have extended our stay for forever but life and bills back in Cali wasn’t haven’t that. I turned to Robyn ready to negotiate a little longer stay and I could something was off with her. She was smiling and laughing with everyone but it wasn’t showing in her eyes. The only thought in my head was doing something to put that look back in her eyes but I didn’t know what.

Somehow it ended up being just the two of us left at the house… everyone else off elsewhere showing Mijo something they swore he would absolutely love. When Robyn didn’t want to go my choice was made as well… I wasn’t going either. It was only me and her left and I was doing everything I could think of to put that look back in her eyes but nothing was working and I was running out of ideas until I went and did the unthinkable.

I stuffed my big, tall. Lanky ass in somebody’s two piece yellow bikini and attempted to do a strip tease for her. She did everything she could to keep from laughing and giving in to me and she almost succeeded until Leandra and Melissa busted into the room with instant confusion on their faces. She fell out in genuine laughter as I attempted to explain to her friends who weren’t having it. In between them calling me every freak in the book my gaze went back to Robyn and my embarrassment was worth it. In that moment I promised myself that no matter how much of an ass I had to make of myself I was willing to do it to keep that look on her face. I’ve had more than a few ass acting moments but with every smile and genuine sound of laughter it’s all been worth it. After we burned all remnants of that bikini we headed to the beach and whatever we were flipped and became forever changed between us.

That night… that was the night Cove Bay happened. Her crew had a big bonfire going on the beach. The vibe and the people was everything we wanted it to be. Good green was burning, drinks were flowing, laughter, good conversation was happening, and I was feeling every minute of it but Robyn it seems had other plans. With my hand in hers we took off walking down and around the beach and by the time I looked up it felt like it was only the two of us all alone on the island. She explained we were in some little enclave that she used to escape to when she needed to clear her head. It’s obvious she had this little jaunt down the beach planned and she smiled back at me as she again took my hand helping me to sit on a blanket already laid out for us.

We sat staring at each other… no need for words but silently saying everything that needed to be said. My heart was beating a million beats a second and yet I felt calm, serene, and I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I attempted to utter a word or two but the slow shaking of Robyn’s head stilled my words so I simply stared back at her waiting for her to take whatever this is wherever she wanted to take it. And yet my breathing stopped as she slowly removed her shirt from her body. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want Robyn like that or that I never fantasized about this very moment happening but my fantasies didn’t come remotely close to the real thing happening in front of me.

Her breasts were perfect… hell everything about her was perfect but her breasts… we’ve never come close to doing anything like this but I’ve seen her naked breasts on more than one occasion. The night she got her nipple pieced I was still staying with her and she rushed into my room and she flashed me the finished result. I’ve spent days and nights caressing and kissing and using my tongue to sooth whatever hurt her piercing might cause but we never looked at my “help” as anything more than that… one friend helping the other. But her body was perfect and as she quickly stood removing the remainder of her clothes whatever rationale thought I thought I had left was all but gone. She slowly walked towards me in all her wondrous naked splendor and I sat there like a dumbass momentarily frozen and unsure what to do… let me change that… I knew what I wanted to do but in my dumbness was more about what to do first, how long to do it, and what position to do it. Like I said I’ve been having fantasies but for it to possibly be happening in the moment had me stuck on pause.

Robyn took all thought and indecision out of my hand as she stood in front of me tenderly touching my cheek. I stared up at her and read her want before I leaned forward and tenderly kissed her stomach. I wanted to please her orally in every way possible but before I could put thought into action she moved away from changing my every thought, breath, and action. Sitting in front of me once again Robyn stared back at me as she slowly began move her hands down her neck and shoulders until she gathered her breasts in her hands touching and caressing and fondling her breasts how I longed to. Quickly licking the tip of her finger she slowly rubbed and pulled and manipulated her nipples until they hardened and damn near begged to be sucked.

If watching her touch her breasts almost did me in I can’t even begin or attempt to explain my feelings as her hands slowly moved lower once again. Hearing a soft whimper as fingers quickly danced across her clit my shit was so damn hard and yet I’m almost frozen on what to do next.

Lighting biting her bottom lip, “I wanna see it…” “Rob…” Softly whispering, “Show me what I do to you…”

My mind went after that and in the next blink of an eye I was as naked as she slowly jacking my shit as she stared back at me. Every time my thumb rubbed the tip of me I don’t know who moaned out more… her or me… but watching her as she pleasured herself as she watched me do the same is something I don’t think I will ever forget. And with every moan… every whisper… every staggered breath I was that much closer to coming undone. With her head thrown back as her fingers disappeared deeper still inside of her I moved closer increasing my speed and stroke. This whole scene… moment… feeling is something I never imagined anything like this ever happening and I’m so damn close to cumming I’m damn near ready to fall at her feet and spazz the hell out from all of it. I hear the hitch in her breathing as her fingers increase in speed and I know she’s just as close as I am to nirvana.

Falling to her back her eyes slowly opened to lock with mine and I froze lost in the fullness of this moment. With fascinated eyes I watched as her orgasm claimed her and her moans called to me and triggered mine as well. With one final stroke I erupted spilling my seed across her stomach. My eyes widened and I don’t quite know what to do… this is my Robyn… my best friend… my Songbird and I have no clue on how to react. Before Robyn I really never had a girlfriend. There were chicks that hung around for a while or two that I readily did things with but when I was in Tappa I was too busy going through any and every girl that was willing to consider them anything more than what they were. I’ve sprayed more than a few body parts with my seeds only caring that they did not up inside the chick I was just with but with Robyn… with Robyn I stood there like an inexperienced school boy incredibly embarrassed not only what to do next.

Ready to run around to find something to wipe away my seed on her I stilled as I watched Robyn use the edge of the blanket cleaning herself before staring back at me once again. She was driving whatever this was and as her hand extended to mine I was ready and willing to go and do whatever she wanted of me. Fitting and laying in the center of her I stared down at my best friend knowing that whatever we were before this night had been changed and if I were honest in that very moment I was terrified. At that point we were only friends and yet she honestly meant everything to me. I couldn’t or wouldn’t imagine life without her so to change that with actions we could control I almost pulled away from her to tell her over and over that we shouldn’t go there but then she whispered to me and the possibility of stopping was as good as gone.

Softly whispering as she stared up at me, “I want this…” “Robyn…” Lightly biting her bottom lip as her hand moved down between our bodies, “I want you…” ”If we go there…” Slowly shaking her head, “No more talking…”

Even if I wanted to protest the feel of her hand wrapping around me I was literally reduced to putty in her hands once again doing whatever she wanted me to do. Staring back at her my hand covered hers my turn to take control of what we were doing. Leaning into her I covered her mouth with mine slowly savoring and enjoying the taste and feel of her kiss. I’m feeling a million different things at once and I don’t want this moment to end. In the back of my mind something is screaming over and over that we shouldn’t be doing this but as her tongue moved against mine I blocked out those shouts and gave in to what we both wanted.

My kissing moving down her neck I slowly eased into her and instantly knew what heaven felt like. I’ve never felt anything even remotely close to that feeling and I literally froze on top of her honestly and literally close to tears. I was in the process of losing my shit fumbling and freezing because I wanted to make this moment amazing for her and yet I didn’t know what to do first. I’ve had sex what felt like million times and I’m pretty damn good at it if I have to say so myself but I wanted something more for her. I wanted her to feel every emotion and every feeling I’m feeling because this has to mean as much to her as it meant to me. I want her… the whispered call of my name pushed every jumbled up thought and indecision and I simply started to move.

I instantly became fascinated by each look of her face as I created a rhythm we both could enjoy. I never expected this to happen between us and with every moan, every whisper, every pull of me closer still I never want this to end. Her arms wrapped around my neck we shared another slow opened mouth kiss in no rush to end what we began. Slowly moving together until our moan filled our secluded slice of heaven I pulled and pushed into her until we both called out our completeness. There was no awkwardness or confusion as we stared back at each other because in the back of both of our minds we both knew it changed us and we became something more than what we were before. Taking her hand in mine I led her to into the warm water cleansing off our first of many go rounds of the night.

As I laid her once again on I completed yet another first as I orally pleased a woman for the first time ever. Like I said before Robyn I never had an attempt of a girlfriend so the thought or want never crossed my mind. In Tappa I was too busy going through them and no way in hell was about to do anything to bring them any kind of oral pleasure but with Robyn I had to… with Robyn I wanted my tongue to take her to please her in every way I couldn’t. Directing her to open her legs a little wider so I could once again rest in the valley of her I leaned forward as I slowly moved my tongue against her skin instantly becoming addicted on the taste of her. I lost myself in her and her taste and I think I licked her from front to back to front again and it was still not enough.

Softly whispering, “That was our first time…” “Huh?” “We never did anything together until that first time she took us to Bridgetown…” “Who didn’t know that?” Quickly looking over at him, “Huh?” “I damn near lived with y’all at that point remember… I saw how y’all acted around each other and I also saw how y’all acted the morning after y’all went missing… hell everyone pretty much knew what went down with the two of you and then y’all wouldn’t stop sexing after that so… punk you were already gone at that point when it came to her…” “I never wanted her like that…” quickly shaking my head, “I mean I wanted her so damn bad but I was happy with our friendship and her just being a part of my life…” “I remember when you first brought her around… I never saw you treat a chick like that. You were so damn different around her… like you literally wouldn’t leave her side and every word she said… no matter what it was your face would light up and…” Softly laughing, “Whatever…” “No I’m serious… the way you would look at her… even then it was obvious that you loved her…” Softly whispering, “I think I loved her from the first second I saw her. I acted like a complete ass and I hurt her feelings and I swear it felt like the end of my damn world when she walked away hurt and angry… I wanted to run up behind her and beg her for forgiveness in between promising never to hurt her or her feelings again and I didn’t even know her name at that point…” “Then why the hell you waste all that damn time with all them other broads you constantly brought around?” Softly sighing, “Cause I was dumb…” “Yes you were…” “I still have my moments…” “Yes the hell you do… you need to tighten that shit up…” “Me staying away like she told me to was me attempting…” Softly laughing, “And yet yo ass is on his way there…” “I’m only going because my brother was feenin’ for his Sweetness and I tagged along so his ass wouldn’t pass out before he got to her…” “Like yo’ ass ain't feenin’ too…” Pointedly looking at him, “Exact reason I gotta make that damn tattoo happen…”

My last statement too much Mijo shook his head as he blocked me and the rest of my comments with the music blaring out of his headphones. It’s for the best though… with the way I’m thinking, feeling, and reminiscing I’m almost afraid of the shit that might come flying out of my mouth. I don’t even know how we are going to get to them when we land but all I know is I can’t wait. My mother and aunt’s words turning in my head and I sat back imagining every word I’ll say to her when we finally come face to face. Truth speaking and knowing how I’m feeling right now every word dreamed is going to be forgotten the second I hold her in my arms.

That last pic she sent me flashing in my head my thoughts flip and switch again and I can’t help but begin to pray that Leandra has some place to go or some strong ass ear plugs cause I’m about to but in damn work. She knew exactly what she was doing when she sent them pics so it’s only right I show her the effect they had on me. Against my better judgment I listened to the last video she sent me. There were no images of body parts or angles or positions she shouldn’t be shifted in. Instead it was just of the sounds she was making as she sped towards her orgasm. Hearing every moan… every whimper… every sharp intake of breath had me shaking and spazzing and coming apart as she did the same. I swear I could literally hear how wet she was and whatever she was doing was only making her wetter and that damn sound had me falling to my knees clutching my heart because she was truly trying to kill me. The last sound on that clip was the soft call of my name and after every listen I promise myself that no matter what I have to do I’m going to hear that sound again.

A laughing Rorrey was waiting for us at the airport and any and every excuse and reason we had for being here only made him laugh at us even harder. Being the ass that he is of course he didn’t take us directly to Mel and Leandra’s house. Every stop we made he claimed was important but they were anything but. I think he drove past their house more than a dozen times laughing at every drive by. I was tempted on more than one occasion to jump out of his speeding car to get to my girl but I needed everything in working order when we finally came face to face so I kept my desperate ass in the car. After a not so friendly threat from Mijo Rorrey finally guided his truck in the direction of Melissa’s house. As I finally stood in front of Melissa’s house I was nervous as hell but I was equally calm all because of her. I chanced a glance in my brother’s direction and I couldn’t stop my laughter because every emotion I was struggling through was clearly displayed on his face as well. So while I was on the plane driving myself crazy he was doing the same thing just hiding it just a little better than me. His gaze catching mine we threw a head nod back at each other before we turned to Rorrey and all but forced him to go in first to help aid in our surprise.

We took less than two steps inside before Sweetness was in Mijo’s arms and my presence all but forgotten. I stood there and attempted to question Melissa as to where my woman was but she was wrapped so tightly around Mijo any answers I hoped to get weren’t coming. I walked further into the house hoping and wanting for my girlfriend to come jump in my arms in excitement at the sight of me but that never happened. For all the cars in front of the house it was surprisingly empty as I slowly walked through the house looking for Robyn. Dropping my bag in the room I assumed she was using I continued my search until I came across the crew lounging out on the back patio.

Even with her back to me I could tell she was in her head and ignoring everything going on around her. Rorrey came in and riled up the crew and he was in the middle of a cuss down session with Leandra and Sonita and once again I was ignored. My urge to go to her and wrap her in my arms was at an all time high and yet I stopped myself. I tried conjuring up all the words I planned to say to her in my head and yet as I opened my mouth to speak even I shook my head at the mess I muttered out.

“I’m not putting on a damn bikini this time…”

I hear his voice and I literally cannot move and the way things are going it’s probably my mind playing tricks on me again. I’ve watched that damn video of him jerking off so many times I would almost feel ashamed of myself if I had any shame left. I only gave him head once but after my last watching of that damn video I made a vow to myself that the first time I see him again to fall to my knees and bless that thick beautiful piece of meat with the sloppiest, nastiest, longest oral blessing of his life. Fuck a gag reflex… I want him at the back of my thought tickling vocal cords and tonsils and making it hard for me to breathe, think, or do anything but suck his ass dry.

If Melissa or Leandra had a clue of what my thoughts have been since the first viewing of that clip I would never hear the end of it. Hell if they knew how many times I’ve actually watched that damn clip they would disown me. It’s almost shameful but his penis is so damn beautiful and it’s mine and I want it so damn bad it’s not healthy. I’m not that girl… everyone has that one friend that so damn vulgar ready to talk about sex and positions and every nasty thing she ever done… normally I’m not that girl but damn it with the way I’m feeling and emotion I feel after every watch of that video I’m about to be. After that mess with Yohan I came back here and put that clip on a continuous loop and had to stop myself from calling in Melissa and Leandra to come watch it with me. I swear I heard every moan and every deep intake of breath as if he was in front of me giving me a private show and I got turned on even more. That clip forever takes me back to the first time we did anything more than his tongue on an aching nipple and I want it even more.

“So you really about to ignore me after I came all this way?” Slowly shaking my head, “I swear if you’re not behind me…”

When I received no response or answer from my words I couldn’t help but drop my head and shoulders in disappointment. With all the fuckery Yohan is convinced in bringing my way I really could use Chris by my side. I’ve been back here dreaming, lusting, and fantasizing about his penis but even if we didn’t come close to doing anything sexual him just being here would be enough for me. I miss him. I ran to Bridgetown with Melissa and Leandra with the premise of clearing my head and getting clarity while we packed Mel up and nothing I claimed to happen has happened yet. I’m still just as jumbled in the head as before and Mel ain’t packed shit. She hasn’t even attempted to grab a box to load anything and none of us have opened our mouths to question her why. She was so ready to move and be with Mijo so her dragging her feet makes no sense. I thought to ask Leandra but I don’t have the energy for that encounter or whatever answers she would give me. As much as she claimed not to be headed to LA too I’ve seen her do more than Melissa when it came to wrapping her life up here but I’m not ready to ask her about that either.

“Baby I really don’t want to wear no damn bikini but if that’s what it takes to get you to talk to me…” Slowly whispering with my back still to him, “Chris…” “Yeah baby…” “When… why did you come here?” “I missed you…” Slowly nodding my head, “I missed you too…” “Then turn around and look at me…”

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes as I slowly turned in his direction. Even with that brief question and answer session I still wasn’t convinced that he was actually here. With the way my mind has been going and with my luck our whole back and forth was probably just my imagination working overtime and getting the best of me as usual and truth be told I’m just not ready to face that disappointment.

Softly whispering, “Baby look at me…”

Slowly opening my eyes my breath caught as his handsome face stared back at me. As silly as it seems I feel almost over emotional that he’s suddenly here with me. I wanted him here but I just didn’t know how to voice it and yet somehow before I even attempted to speak out my needs he was here staring back at me.

“Baby I’m here and…” “Oh hell no…”

I guess I’m not the only one noticing Chris was here. His sudden appearance totally made me forget that Leandra, Sonita, and Noella was out here with me helping to set up for a small cookout we were about to have. As usual I got lost in my thoughts of him so while they were working I was thinking all things Chris.

As he continued to stare back at me, “Hello to you too Leandra…” “What yo light bright ass doing here? Didn’t she tell you to stay away?” “I tried but I missed her…” “That’s what cell phones and texts are for… you could have called or texted her or…” “I missed touching her…” “You got chicks waiting on the side you could have called up and touched… you didn’t have to bring yo ass here…” “I called them and they didn’t answer which is for the best since the only chick I’m really trying to touch is standing here staring back at me…” Shaking her head, “Why yo weird ass friend ain't keep you from getting on that plane? You not wanted or needed here so you might as well turn around and…” Softly whispering, “Lee…” “I know your cunt ass ain't fall for this mess…”

I stared back at Leandra willing my eyes to say what my voice couldn’t. Despite all her words and antics she knew Chris being here was everything I wanted and needed… especially with Yohan lurking around. Not only that… she more than anyone knew how badly I was missing him. She walked in on one of our face time dates and she got an eyeful of something she more than likely never wanted to see. Before she could say more to send him back his way Melissa returned to the back patio in Mijo’s arms and our little cookout turned into a kickback and phone calls and calls to come party quickly went out.

When the rest saw Mijo and Chris sudden hugs and welcomes went around and before any of us could blink the back patio was filled with friends, music, and good vibes. Of course Rorrey was the main one hyping everyone up with his over the top self. Since our initial conversation I haven’t gotten the chance to say hi, bye, boo, or anything else to Chris and it’s driving me crazy. Rorrey dragged him to an impromptu dance floor wanting him to teach him some dance move he swore he saw Chris do. I wanted him to say no but everyone crowded around them hoping to see something and I’ve been stuck in singlesville by myself from the moment he got here. He’s stuck in Rorrey’s world so there’s no telling when he’ll get close enough to pull me to him and make me forget about all the time I’ve been here without him.

I look quickly at Melissa and I’m trying my damnedest not to be jealous of her. She and Mijo have been practically wrapped around each other from the moment they joined us out here. They’re in lovebird heaven and nothing or no one around them exist let alone matter. I’m convinced there’s some conspiracy to keep me and Chris apart because every time he’s seemingly headed in my direction someone came and pulled him in the opposite way so again I’m alone. Looking around at the crew I caught Lee’s smirking face and I just knew she’s the mastermind behind the Keep Robyn and Chris apart and the first chance I get I’m cussing her cunt ass out. She swears she means no harm in the shit she be doing but with every keep away I’m less and less convinced of that half truth.

Thankfully… miraculously… amazingly… mercifully the crew started leaving much sooner than we thought they would. But considering Mel and Mijo disappeared damn near minutes after arriving to the kickback the whole vibe had changed. Unlike Leandra the rest of the crew cared about feelings and what folks wanted so they stayed long enough to have a good time while promising to come back and really hang when both Mijo and Chris would be around. Hugged out as the last of the crew left it was just Chris and I as we stared back at each and the loud mouth that was Leandra making unnecessary comments besides us.

“Y’all might as well stop that shit…” Questioning Leandra as he stared intently at me, “Leandra you go somewhere you can go tonight?” “No… and even if I did I’m not about to leave my house for you to…” Interrupting her as she rambled on, “Well do you have some ear buds or…” “Why would I need that?” Slowly looking me up and down, “Cause I’m about to fick the shit out of your friend…” “No the hell you not…” Softly whispering as he shook his head, “I have to…” “No you don’t…” “That last video she sent me…” “I don’t want to hear or know about no video she sent you where she in there being nasty…” Once again shaking his head, “She’s not in the video… but the video… that damn video…” “What about it?” “All I heard… all I hear was sounds…” softly sighing as he closed his eyes and continued, “I could hear how wet she was and I just knew…” “Baby…” “I just knew… I knew she was thinking about me just like I was thinking of her….” “That don’t mean you get to come in here and talking about fucking her and…” “More than just fucking her until she can’t move…” locking eyes with me once again, “I’m going to do that baby and it’s going to be so damn good you won’t be able to walk, talk, think, or do anything else but roll over and do same thing to me…”

I feel like I’m falling deeper into a trance with each word he said and it doesn’t matter if Leandra came up with a million different reasons why we shouldn’t be together tonight we still were. Hear him as he continued to whisper back to me I was ready to strip bare and give him any and everything he asked of me.

Softly whispering, “Can we do that baby?” continuing at my nod, “but I was honest when I said I missed her… I missed holding her… laughing with her… talking with her… just being with her…”

With every whisper of what he missed Chris took a step closer to me and by the time he whispered his final miss he was standing in front of me staring down into my eyes. In that moment… hell every moment since he arrived I am his for the taking… ready and willing to do whatever he commanded me to do. My breath suddenly stilled as he extended his hand to gently caress my face and every thought, want, and emotion was mirrored in his eyes as well and if it’s at all possible I fell just a little deeper still into him. He came to me… I gave him every reason and excuse why we needed this time apart and yet when I needed him the most and without a single word he came to me.

Softly whispering, “I knew you needed me…” “How?” “Cause I needed you just as bad…”

That was all it took… Leandra or whoever else be damned… we are about to do some things in my damn room tonight, tomorrow, and they day after that until we can no longer function or think straight. As much as I want it to be soft and tender our first go round will be anything but. His hand in mine and regardless to Leandra yelling in the background I turned and led Chris in from the patio towards my room.

Angrily yelling, “I hate y’all!”

Securing the lock on my door I took a slow deep breath before I turned in Chris’ direction and yet I damn near turned right back around as my gaze caught his. I knew exactly what that look meant and my poor insides might not survive.

Softly whispering, “Come here Robyn…” “Chris…” “I said come here…” Softly whispering in return as I shook my head, “You come here…”

No sooner than the words left my mouth Chris was in front of me pushing me against the locked door. As he picked me up my legs quickly wrapped around his waist as his lips joined mine. And like a synchronized dance as his tongue moved against mine our clothes fell away. His kiss moving down my neck I couldn’t stop my moan as his hand covered my breast fondling, caressing, and invoking my nipple to respond to his touch. Accompanying words with his touch I’m damn near undone and we haven’t really don’t anything yet.

“I played that last video over and over…” Breathlessly as his breath warmed my skin, “Baby…” “I could hear how wet you were and all I wanted to do was bury my tongue in it cause you taste so damn good…”

As he moved his kisses and words to the other side of my neck his touch moved down my body and as his finger slowly drummed a rhythm against my clit Chris softly whispered to me once again rendering me useless and unable to respond to him.

Softly whispering, “I been keeping a secret from you…” “What?” “That first time I tasted you…” “Yeah…” Gently kissing me behind my ear as his fingers increased in speed, “That was the first time I ever…” “Ever?” Slowly nodding, “No one deserved it before you…” gently whispering as he eased his fingers inside of me, “or after…” “Chris…”

I couldn’t even attempt to finish calling out his name or anything else as he added another finger deep inside of me. I’m speeding towards bliss and as much as I wanted to slow down and drag him with me I can’t and before I can put thought to effort I called out to him as my juices covered and coated his digits. I’m once again in a trance as I watched him remove his fingers from me only to bring them to his mouth to slowly lick my taste from them. Hearing his soft ass moan I snapped and I quickly pushed at him wanting momentarily to be in control of things.

Going to my knees in front of him I gathered him in my hand stroking and coaxing him to harden and grow. Seeing a few drops of pre cum at his tip I made my fantasies come to life and swallowed him whole. I’m sucking and slurping feeling close to dizzy as his dick danced down my throat. With one hand braced against the door for support his other tangled in my hair as he quickened his thrust as he sped towards his bliss. This was about getting him off and making him feel as good as I did but with each slam of his hips driving him further down my throat I’m about ready to fall in a heap at his feet shaking and shivering from just how good it all feels.

And yet before ecstasy and euphoria could overtake me Chris pushed me from him leaving me momentarily lost and confused as I stared up at him. Shaking his head stilling my words and questions before they were even spoken Chris snatched me up directing me towards the bed directing me to lay back and open up for him. Propping myself up on my elbows I crossed my legs over the other enthralled as I lost myself watching want and desire in his every move. With slow deliberate moves Chris came into me uncrossing my legs and positioning me how he wanted me. Lust and anticipation damn near drowned me as he stood at the end of the bed staring back at me. Biting my bottom lip as he slowly spread my legs I stared at him in return already knowing the ride he’s about to take me on. It’s crazy… he’s done nothing more than opened my legs and stared at me and I’m fighting back pending orgasms and convulsions at the sight of him slowly licking his bottom lip at the meal I presented him with. I’m wet and slick and I’m to feel his tongue in and on me so damn bad it’s not even remotely healthy or right.

Softly whispering, “Damn baby…”

His turn to kneel Chris opened my legs a little wider before he went to his knees and buried his mouth, tongue, and taste in the center of me. He has me in his control and with each swipe, twist, twirl, curl, and lick of his tongue he knows it too. Pausing his devouring of me Chris momentarily moved his tongue from the center of me only to drive me even crazier by gently kissing the soft skin on the inside of my thighs. Too many feeling hitting at once I tried to push him away from me needing a break to catch and calm my mind but he wasn’t having it. Flipping on my side be again buried his head between my parted thighs sending his tongue and taste in places even I didn’t know I had.

I know I should be quiet. And I know come morning or whenever we leave my room we will hear it over and over and over from Leandra but I can’t stop myself. He has me positioned on my knees with my legs spread as fall as they could go without me collapsing to the bed and he is literally feasting on me. His fingers tenderly opened me wider and his tongue is darting and dancing claiming my mind, body, and soul. I screamed out his name as he slowly licked my juices than ran down my thighs as yet another orgasm takes over me. With my head buried in my pillows trying to find and control my breathing and my ass tooted in the air I’m done and ready to tap out but of course Chris has another agenda and yet another scream ripped through the air as he buried himself deep inside of me. I can’t even attempt to explain how damn good he felt as he moved in and out of me. I went from screaming to begging to chanting his name over and over with each move of his hips.

Softly whispering as his grip tightened on my hips, “You feel so damn good…” “Chris…” “I just want to make you feel good…”

From that moment on our bodies were flipped and turned and twisted into as many positions as we could think up and yet never stopping as we rushed and fell over into bliss and nirvana over and over again. His hands readily moved up and down my body touching and caressing and claiming all of me as I sat atop him rocking, moving and riding him until he called out to me. Hearing his whispered pleas we both let out long rambling nonsensical words as I spun on him so my back now faced him as I continued to ride and control this tumble into ecstasy. He told me he wanted to see and watch as he slid in and out of me so I slowed my movements letting him get off on the sight of me sliding up and down the length of me.

Softly whispering as he grabbed and slipped my ass, “Too much…” “You feel that?” “I need you baby…”

As he continued to thrust and pump up into me I fell back against his chest moaning out as Chris wrapped his arms around me. We moved like this as his hands and touched began their usual exploration of my body and with my hands covering his we massaged and caressed all. His hand still covering my breast coaxing and teasing my nipple into hardening he moved his other hand down my body until it rested in the valley of me. Quickly rubbing his fingers against my clit as he still moved in and out of me I gave into Chris and his control losing myself in all of the feeling rushing to me. Finally too much I again gave into him slowly calling out to him as nirvana came for me. He continued to move and thrust and pump up into me until he too called out as he spilled inside of me.

Hearing him call out to me the most I could offer was a weak head nod and smile before I fell off into slumber. Still buried deep inside of me Chris joined me as we both slept off the high and euphoria our coming together gave the both of us. Thankfully my door is locked because I had no desire or energy to move and as I found out later us remaining attached and wrapped around each other was all part of Chris’ plan and he made good use of both until walking, talking, functioning, or facing Leandra’s wrath was even remotely possible. And yet when we finally saw her she threw three words at us before she stormed off leaving us to our own devices which lead us right back to me room.

Angrily as she shook her head, “Y'all gon learn…”

Back in my room we attempted to recreate the scenes, moments, and experiences from before while creating even new ones this go round. I wanted him here so bad but I didn’t know how to make it happen without going back on my words about needing space and now that he’s here… tightening my hold on him I pushed all thoughts of anything else other than us and this moment from my head and allowed his kisses, touch, and every emotion pull me under and happily drown as he did the same.

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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i know...... an actual chapter...... i’m shocked my damn self....

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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The audacity for him to fix his mouth to say that she belongs to him until he says so, & what about the bruises she gave him in return😑😒talking about who told Robyn to give away what is his (She did) it's not yours you barely scraped the surface. When is Chris getting to BIM? I think it's time Yohan scared up with a man and stop fighting a woman😡 Robyn will need to tell her man what fuckery this fool be on, cause him seeing bruises on her that she didn't have will definitely cause questions.

the second chris came into her view it became yohan who.... in every category/instance... from sex to love to caring to every damn thing..... yohan didn’t stand a chance..... all that nonsense he’s talking is just that nonsense..... that talk might have worked before but this is a different robyn... chris will be there and tough talking wrist grabbing/hurting yohan ain’t ready.... he’ll never talk to a man in how he speaks to a woman... men like that rarely do.... if the bruises are there when he arrives robyn will have no choice but to tell the truth... then again even if she wants to remain silent lee, mel, and the rest won’t..... thanks for reading.... it means so very much....

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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If Chris sees her wrist all hell is going to break loose I am ready for him to handle yohan he needs to get his ass beat Chris where r u your women needs u

by the time chris gets there the bruises might be gone so unless robyn opens her mouth he might not know what she’s had to deal with.... yohan won’t escape his inevitable ass whooping.... the real question is who gets it to him..... thanks for reading....

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

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When is Chris going to Robyn she needs him and she needs to tell him about yohan because what he did to her is not right and he needs to know who Robyn really belongs too and it is not him please Chris hurry up and get to your women

he’ll be there soon... she may need him but that does not mean she’s going to come right out and tell him about yohan and his antics.... chris is still itching to beat somebody’s ass.... yohan should lay low because the outcome might not be good for him.... then again the way things are set up maybe they should come face to face so yohan can learn who exactly robyn belongs to..... thanks so much for reading.... more coming very very soon....

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whatwillbe-blog · 7 years

Text

Chapter 56

“How this look? What it make my ass look like?”

Leandra has been asking this same damn question for over an hour in every damn store we go into. I don’t know how or why I even got roped into going shopping with her. Melissa and Sonita flat out refused her request so that left me to deal with a pouting Leandra. If a foul mouth sarcastic say whatever the hell she wants Leandra was bad a pouting one was worse. No one wanted to deal with that monstrosity so I gave in and went with her and if I could go back her ass would still be pouting at home cause I wouldn’t be here. I needed a new swimsuit to pose in and take instagram pictures in so I tried to make the best out of this shopping trip but after hearing that same damn question one time too many I’m over her and shopping.

Maybe it’s best I’m not laying out with time and opportunity to think because my last thinking moments I pretty much questioned everything in front of me and I don’t much like the answers I’m got back. When I first decided to come here I thought rushing to Barbados was the best option for me at the time. Puerto Rico was amazing and awe inspiring and honestly something we all needed and deserved. And for the most part it was everything we thought and wanted it to be. Mijo reunited and strengthened his relationship with his sister and brother in law… me and Chris finally stopped running away from what we’ve always wanted and gave into it and officially became us… Melissa announced that she was moving to LA and Mijo immediately got down on one knee asking her something to make her moved to LA permanent and of course she said yes… everything was perfect and then Kellen happened. He opened his mouth and destroyed everything… our friendship, my thoughts of him, Mel and Mijo’s impromptu engagement party, and most important Chris, me, and the relationship we thought we found.

His words hurt like hell. There is no way around that truth. After everything I’ve given, loved, and put up with for him to fix his raggedy ass mouth to say any of that nonsense to me hurt. Honestly Kellen’s words brought an end to something I thought was becoming important in my life but I was obviously wrong. Even though it wasn’t going to where and what he wanted I thought we could and would be friends for life but he opened his mouth and ended that. I should have known something was up when his funky ass attitude met me at my door. He was speaking it circles giving me hint after hint that he was about to destroy shit but I wasn’t paying attention. After learning of the lies he was trying to spread and hearing his words I was done. I wished I could have popped him in the mouth again only harder but Chris swooped in and took that moment from me. And then his dumb ass opened his mouth…

I love him but if Chris was in front of me right now with the thoughts that’s been damn near drowning me he might be getting a pop in the mouth too. His words honestly and truly hurt me. I don’t think I could ever dream up enough words to give him back the same feeling he gave me. I think what made them hurt even more is the nonsense he was saying back to me was just that… nonsense. His words dripped selfishness and he had no issues or problems with that. I’ve damn near given this man my heart, my body, my soul and he stood in my room pissed because I dared let some other dude spend a few minutes with me while his dumb ass had a whole damn girlfriend he himself was sleeping and spending all his time with. Even when he caught a clue and came back around I didn’t hold his past actions against him but it seemed like he was practically waiting for the moment he could say I was wrong for letting Kellen stay around. When Mel and Lee came to my room I decided them and there I needed time away from Chris and while that may have been true I’m suffering.

I’ve been trying everything in me to ignore and hide it but every damn night… every damn time I even attempt to close my eyes I hop my ass right the back up cause I can’t even begin to deal. He called me complaining about my itty bitty swimsuits and how they were killing him but little do he know I’m the one dying. I close my eyes and I damn near break out in hives and sweat is pouring off of me and I have to sit up or I might damn drown. It’s to the point I don’t even attempt to go to sleep on my own anymore. I just busy myself until I fall the hell out and pray no dreams or thoughts come. It’s his fault… every damn pain and shake and sweat I suffer though is because of him and while he’s complaining about itty bitty bikini pics I’m thisdamnclose to asking him to send me a dick pic.

Truth be told though… I don’t even need the picture. Every single time I close my eyes I see him long and think and hard and I’m fucking done. I’m salivating and moaning at every thought of him and I know my friends are looking at me funny but I can’t help it. I’m dicktamized and the damn dick I want ain’t nowhere near. I’m convinced that there is no more cold water left in all of BIM cause there’s no way I haven’t used it all up. It’s not like I haven’t gone long months… hell years… without sex before but I’m so goddamn horny right now I almost fear when we finally see each other again. I’m wearing his ass out and riding him until I fall off, get back on, and fall off again. We not stopping until his ass waddles out of our room pregnant or damn near close to it.

“I know what store we have to hit before we head back home…”

“Leandra we been to every damn store on this island…”

Slowly shaking her head, “Not this one…”

“I ain't been gone that long where I don’t know what stores are on the island. What other damn store you cackling about?”

“A store where you can buy yourself a big ass dildo since you feening and ain't getting none from Light Bright no time soon…”

Shaking my head, “Fuck you Leandra…”

Smirking as she continued to try on too small clothes, “That’s what the dildo is for cunt…”

“Since you know so much about them I’ll just borrow yours…”

“I don’t share dick… plastic or otherwise… I’m not you…”

“I hate you Leandra…”

Smirking as she continued to look through the racks of clothes, “No you don’t…”

“Why do you always say shit like that? That shit hurts and you know it…”

Slowly shrugging, “Then stop sharing it…”

“Do you really think I want to do that shit? You think I get off on the thought that he wasn’t just mine and mine alone?”

“No…”

“Then stop fucking saying it…”

Softly whispering, “I’m sorry…”

I love Leandra but I swear there are sometimes that I hate her ass too. I don’t know what she be trying to do with her rude and unneeded comments but they cut to the bone sometimes and that shit hurts. I know I’ve taken less than what I deserve when it comes to Chris but I love him and what we have isn’t so cut and dry like every other relationship. Even trying to explain it in my own mind makes me sound so damn pathetic when it comes to him but when everything else is pushed to the side and it’s just me and him it’s incredible. The way he loves me… the way he makes me feel… that’s what’s most important right? That’s more important than how we look and appear to the folks on the outside looking in. I might not be able to explain it correctly but how I feel when he loves me how only he can is all I cling to.

I still remember the hurt I was dealt when he first whispered to me about Sydney. That pain… that hurt is something I can never forget and I can’t help but wonder after Leandra goes on and on about what she think she knows if I will ever have to feel it again. He told me that he loved me and the us we’ve created is all that he wants but still I fully push away my fear. For the most part I believe him and readily scream out the same words to him over and over but there’s also a part of me that’s almost waiting for everything to be snatched away from me again. In some ways that’s probably why I kept the dual dating crap to go on as long as it did. That was me hedging my bet and chances of a happily ever after. In my mind if I couldn’t get it with Chris at least I could pretend that I found it with someone somewhat likable.

Even if there’s never another Sydney I think I’m still in some ways holding my breath waiting for the next hiccup and obstacle to block out way. We’ve waited so long for this and the thought of it all ending before we can truly bask in it and fucking terrifying. I’m quick to say something was close to breaking me but to have Chris and us only to have either snatched away from me would finally and truly do me in. I would be no good for anyone and that is too scary a thought for me to even attempt or fully examine.

Shaking those thoughts from my head I couldn’t stop my eye roll when Leandra started rambling about the other place she wanted to stop before we headed back home. This island ain't even that damn big so there is no legitimate reason for us to be out here for as long as we have been and yet her ass has other places she wants to hit. I guess she could sense my attitude because half way into the store she changed her mind and suggested we go eat instead. I’m not really in the mood to eat either but it could be worse and we could still be in the middle of a store buying shit we don’t need. Hearing her soft whispered words I stare back at her ready for this conversation it’s obvious we need to have.

Softly whispering, “I’m sorry…”

“You always go too far for no reason…”

“I know…”

“Why?”

Slowly shrugging, “I let you down once so now I do too much because…”

“You never let me down…”

Softly questioning me as she stared back at me, “Why you never tell us about Yohan?”

“There was nothing to tell…”

“I remember when you first met him. Here he was… the dude every girl wanted to be with he and he was running up behind you… bringing you flowers and buying you little gifts without you even asking for them. You were so damn gone before y’all came close to making it official. You was smiling so damn much that you had me, Mel, and everybody else smiling with you. I remember when the smiles went away too…”

Softly whispering as I shook my head, “Lee…”

“I remember watching as all the smiles and happiness was sucked out of you and replaced with cheating, isolation, and make up that really didn’t cover anything…”

Softly whispering as I looked down, “I was so damn dumb…”

“Don’t you dare put it on yourself…”

“I knew there were other girls but I didn’t say anything because he was telling me that he loved me…”

“And everything else?”

“I can’t remember how it started… I just remember hoping the make up would cover everything up…”

Slowly shaking her head, “It didn’t…”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I was waiting for you to say something first…”

“He was my first everything… I thought if I put up with whatever he gave me things would get better but they never did…”

“Rob…”

“I do… I did the same thing with Chris… all them other girls… I looked the other way cause he was still loving me and I knew eventually he would only want me…”

“Stop that shit right now…”

“What?”

“I get on Chris and talk about his ho ways but I’m not about to let you compare my brother with that piece of shit. I won’t excuse away Chris’ behavior but he’s nothing like Yohan…”

“But…”

“There are no damn buts… the only thing Yohan ever gave you was hurt and pain… Chris loves you… hell his light bright ass loved you from the start but y’all dumb asses just kept running from it… don’t put him the same category as that other mistake…”

“Then explain why I let him…”

“Has Chris ever put his hands on you?”

“No…”

“Have you ever once thought about covering up the bruises and marks he left on you?”

Slowly shaking my head, “Chris would never…”

“Exactly… Chris has done some dumb ass things but he would never treat you like Yohan… he will never hurt you like Yohan cause he is nothing like him…”

Slowly nodding my head I fall back to the thoughts in my head. Truthfully Chris is nothing like Yohan and yet for so long I’ve tried to combine them in my head to justify me allowing Chris to bring girls between us. When I started with Yohan I thought I had found the love of my life… the one who would love and protect and keep me happy for life and for a while I was given exactly that. I had never been with anyone sexually before Yohan and he was understanding and never pressured me into anything I wasn’t ready for. Me not being ready was his excuse for bringing extras in our relationship. When I dared to bring up how the extras made me feel he turned it back on me and how I wasn’t ready.

I knew his excuse was bullshit but I started looking the other way while he did whatever he wanted to do. In between the extras he still told me over and over that he loved me and again for a while that was enough. After I finally gave myself to him I thought all the extras would stop but of course they didn’t. When I brought up the change in our relationship and how the extras were no longer needed instead of excuses he gave me pushes, and the backs of his hands, and holds that required make up and covering up. The last time he put his hands on me I lost something I didn’t know I had but would have tied me to him for a lifetime. I was in so much pain but after pulling myself together I threw everything I thought was of importance and jumped on the first plane that would take me away from here. I fed my family and friends some bs story and fled to LA to start over.

With Chris everything just seemed to be how it should be. We weren’t trying to be in a relationship so the thought of sleeping together and what it all meant never really crossed my mind. When it happened my whole damn mind blew up because it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. After our first time together Chris started that nonsense of calling me his future baby mama and rocking chair partner so I had no complaints. He never did anything to physically hurt me and every time we came together it got better and better. There were other girls that I looked the other way over but he always came back to me and loved me that much harder after he was done with them. I didn’t look the other way because I was afraid he would hurt me for commenting but because looking the other way was a way to protect my heart that was changing and only wanting to be his. He was the first one to say “I love you” and as crazy as it was that was enough to keep me looking the other way when another girl was pulled in between us until Sydney came. Sydney was the catalyst that forced us to change and own up to what we really wanted. Him bringing her in changed everything and as much as her presence hurt it finally gave me what I wanted.

I feel almost embarrassed that everyone knew what I was going through with Yohan. I thought I was doing enough… covering enough with right foundation and concealer. I saw embarrassed and ashamed and I never wanted anyone to know what I was allowing him to do to me. After the first time he apologized and promised never to put his hands on me again but that promise lasted up until I made the mistake of telling him what I thought about him and the other chicks he liked to entertain. His hands pretty much told me what he thought about my opinion so I learned to keep them quiet but that didn’t stop his hands on me. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if he knew I was carrying his baby because he hit me so damn hard in my stomach that he all but guaranteed that I would lose it. That was it for me and when I went to my family telling them I wanted to leave I was surprised they didn’t put up much protest but knowing now that they knew what he was doing to me they knew too that it was best for me to leave.

Since our run in at the club every time I turn around… no matter where I’m at… he’s there. Whether it’s lurking in the back or just staring he’s there and I leave that place immediately. The last thing I want to do is deal with him or whatever else he’s trying to bring to me. That’s what’s best for me and I pray nightly for Jah to keep him far away from me. In some ways I wonder if his constant pop ups is Jah’s way of making me confront him and take back whatever power he thinks he has over me but the way I’m feeling right now I’m not ready to face or take back anything from him. I don’t want to be anywhere near him and until I’m ready I will continue to go the other direction whenever he comes around.

“I promise this will be the last store…”

“Leandra we been out here all damn day… my feet hurt, I’m fucking broke, and I want to go call my man and hear him talk nasty to me…”

“He can talk nasty to you while you play with yourself after we leave this last store…”

“Bitch…”

“I know your fingers tired as hell by now… we can still stop and get that plastic dick for you if you want…”

“I’m about to leave you Leandra…”

Softly laughing, “They got long, think, black ones… ain't none the same color of Light Bright but…”

“Leandra…”

“Just let me run in and out of here and we can go…”

Looking quickly at my watch, “You got fifteen minutes and then I’m leaving yo ass…”

Fanning me off Leandra ran into the last store in a rush to buy something she didn’t need or could afford. She’s hemming and hawing but both me and Melissa thinks she will be making that move to Los Angeles as well. No way in hell does she stay here and miss out on all that she thinks will be going on with me and Mel in Los Angeles together. I check my phone and quickly bite my bottom lip after looking at the last picture Chris sent me. There should be a law or something to stop him from taking pictures like this at his mother’s home. If I was the petty type I would call Mama Joyce and tell her about her nasty ass son but then again me telling would def stop my pics and I’m not about to even attempt to mess that up. If there’s any cold water left on the island I’m going to use it all up when I get home. These naked pics of body parts I have no possibility of touching, caressing, or tasting is driving me crazy and I’m thisdamnclose to breaking down and buying that plastic version Leandra keep talking about. My every nasty thought instantly leaves me as I feel a presence beside me and before he could even say a word I wanted whatever this encounter was to be over before it even started.

“Me see you can’t stay away from me gyal…”

I heard the sound of his voice and was instantly over whatever this meet up was going to be. For whatever reason since seeing him in the club Yohan continued to almost always pop up wherever I was. I never responded or spoke back to him but just the fact that he was even anywhere near or around me was enough to make me scream.

“You no speak this time again huh? Eventually you speak to me whether you want to or not…”

Whatever the hell Leandra was doing I needed her to hurry the hell up so my time around this nutcase could end as fast as possible. I went years without seeing or being tortured by his presence and I’m in no rush to make up for lost time.

“I buy you something… will you talk to me then?” continuing with his one sided conversation as I responded with only silence, “I remember you used to get so happy when I came in with a gift for you…”

“Yeah after every time you hurt me…”

“Is that the lie you pushing now?”

Slowly shaking my head, “I have no reason to lie…”

“You sure about that? I have marks and bruises you left on me….”

“I was protecting myself…”

“If you do what you were supposed to do you have no reason to protect nothing…”

“Why are you talking to me Yohan?”

Slowly smiling as he stared back at me, “I’m trying to talk to old friend…”

Slightly yelling as I shook my head, “I’m not your damn friend and you know the hell why…”

“You might want to quiet that down…”

“I don’t have to do shit…”

Roughly grabbing me by my wrist as I tried to move away from him Yohan pulled me back to him as he quietly whispered to me, “First off lower yo damn voice and second you forget who you talking to…”

“Let me go Yohan…”

Tightening his hold on my wrist keeping me in place in front of him, “This mouth and attitude of yours… I never like… you know that and yet you continue to raise your voice at me. I don’t know what type of man you have back in the states but he no do his job right if you talking to men like this…”

“Let go…”

“I decide it’s time you end that foolishness and come back here…”

Shaking my head, “You out your damn mind if you think…”

“You have one more time to raise your voice at me…”

Angrily as I tried to pull my wrist from his grasp, “Let me go…”

“I never say we over… I never say it was ok for you to go and tell some other man what you should only say to me…”

I bite back my cry as his hold on my wrist continued to tighten with every word he said. I’m looking around hoping against hope that someone could sense my distress and step in and end whatever the hell this was. But of course everyone seemed to be looking in every direction but mine and I’m forced to handle and deal with his bullshit on my own.

“How many times you give him what belongs to me?”

“Nothing I have belongs to you…”

Smirking as he looked me up and down, “It belong to me until I say it don’t… I never ended us… I never said it was over so as far as I’m concerned you still mine until I decide you ain’t no more…”

He’s on some straight bullshit I’m not even about to deal with or understand. It feels like he’s thisdamnclose to snapping my wrist in two while he is spouting out crap even he can’t honestly believe in. Using my free hand I attempted to push him off of me and yet before I could put any distance between us he knocked my hand away as he roughly grabbed my face with his other hand. Staring back at me he tried to pull my face to his in an attempt to cover my mouth with an unwanted kiss. Turning my head stopping his attempt his kiss landed on my cheek which instantly angered him. And instead of a kiss he sank his teeth into my cheek slightly biting down on my flesh. Before I could fully comprehend what just happened he softly whispered to me jacking up my thinking even more,

“Until I say you aren’t you and mine. You talk like that to me again and I give you what you deserve and we both know I can. I let you get away with it before but won’t anymore. Come see me when you done here with your loud ass friend…”

He tried to kiss me but once again I turned my face causing his kiss to go to my cheek. Biting down even harder than the first time Yohan finally released me before turning and walking away. Of course all the folks I was hoping for earlier stood staring back at me still with no help or hand when I needed them most.

Without even attempting to look at my throbbing wrist I know there will be bruises and evidence of this encounter with him. He used to get so damn pleased with himself when he would see markings and the purplish blue tell tale sign that he put his hands on me. I ran from him and that life and there was no way in hell I am every going to go back to that. When I ran from Barbados the first time I ran from him and that and regardless to what or why I’m back in Bridgetown to do I’m not about to put up with that again.

Feeling the wetness from his bite still on my cheek I wiped the disgusting remains of him off of me staring back at those stared back at me. I want to lash out every last person with a fake ass sympathetic look on their faces. Where they hell was their sympathy and concern when he had me hemmed up claiming shit that wasn’t his? Where were these damn people when I was damn near begging for anyone to step up and get him the hell off of me? I think I’m even angrier because I see and know some of these faces staring back at me and they know that’s not my damn life anyone. I know them and they know I have a life and a love in Los Angeles and nothing Yohan could even attempt to say or do would change that. I know some of these faces and as sad and pathetic as it is I know that some of these faces can’t wait to run off somewhere and spin stories and lies like it’s the truth and my anger grows that much more faster.

“What the hell was that?

Shaking my head as Leandra was suddenly beside me the last thing I wanted to do was talk about what just happened. Sensing I was close to losing it Leandra quickly gathered up our bags before grabbing at my hand to leave. Instantly reacting as she touched my tender wrist I stared back at her honestly not having the words to even begin to explain what just went on. Slowly nodding her head Leandra took my other hand in hers as she led me from our last store. Silence our only conversation Leandra sped towards home somehow knowing and understanding my quiet. Wiping quickly at my sudden tears I stared down at my already purpling skin wondering if I remembered enough to cover this go round.

Softly whispering, “Don’t tell anybody…”

“Rob…”

Slowly shaking my head, “Not even Melissa… I don’t want nobody else to know…”

“All them people was out there… rumor and talk will get out soon…”

“By the time folks find out I’ll be gone…”

“Robyn…”

Shaking my head once again, “I’m not about to deal with that again Leandra…”

“You don’t have to…”

“I let him hurt me before because I was young and dumb… I’m not that anymore and I’m not about to stick around to give him another chance to touch or hurt me…”

Softly sighing, “If you really want to leave I’ll speed Melissa up so we can leave with you…”

“You don’t have to…”

“If I stay here my ass will be arrested as soon as I see his ass and so will she…”

“I hate him…”

“I hate him more…”

“I wish Chris was here…”

“So he can be arrested too…”

Softly whispering, “I never told him about Yohan or what he did to me…”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t want him to think less of me…”

“Sweetie…”

“I see how he looks at me and what he thinks… I can’t destroy that image that is so far from what I am by telling him what I allowed some do nothing man to do to me…”

“If you told him he wouldn’t look at you any different…”

“He will…”

“You don’t know that…”

“He will because I do…”

Silence filled the car as we lost ourselves in our own thoughts. I want to run and go back home and get as far away from Yohan and whatever bullshit he’s trying to bring to me and yet I don’t want to give him that much power over me. His actions made me run from the only place I knew as home and he don’t deserve that power again. I came here to help pack up my sister so she could come and move closer to me and I don’t want to run because of him and yet I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder to see if he’s lurking in the background waiting to attack.

Listening as Leandra told Melissa about my run in with Yohan I had to go to her and somehow calm her down. To see how much my hurt at the hands of him affected my sisters did something inside of me. Whatever fear and sadness I thought I had instantly turned and became something else. If I run now I’ll be running for the rest of my life when it comes to him and his treatment of me. That’s not to say I will readily be in his presence but I’m not about to let him run me away from what should always be my home.

In the blink of an eye the house was filled with the rest of my sisters all plotting and one upping each other as they discussed how to completely handle Yohan. Me myself… I’m bordering on anger and destruction. I’m so angry because I let it happen again. When I left Bridgetown the first time I made a promise to myself that I would never allow that kind of hurt or pain to come to me again and yet the only animal who ever put his hands on me before is the one who did it again. As for my other emotion… it’s taking everything in me not to go wherever he is and fuck up everything that means anything to him in his life regardless to what happens to me.

I want him to feel hurt and pain with every breath and in the back of my mind I know that that destruction I’m dreaming of is festering and growing and will come to be. As Sonita bandaged my wrist I downed the first of many shots forgetting momentarily about him, his coming destruction, and everything else that had to do with him. I don’t know when or how but soon Yohan will get what’s most deserving of him and I pray I’m there to see it… I pray I’m a part of it… but even if I’m not I still look forward to it. Shaking my head as Leandra’s talk turned to dildos and what color each of us should purchase I downed another shot knowing she’s going to turn her talk in my direction. Of course she did and yet before I said a single word Melissa got on her cobweb filled puss which sent the conversation and the rest of the night in a completely different direction.

Drunkenly smiling through another nasty message from Chris I drowned in the love and protection my girls gave me and let all thought of anything else go. He wanted a message equally nasty in return and for the rest of the night and with my drunk thoughts I tried to think up ways I could get the pic I want taken.

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