whatwouldusagido

[whatwouldusagido]

thoughts on the friendzone

when i was 5 years old my best friend was a boy named kyle who didn’t know how to knock on doors so he made dinosaur noises outside my window to wake me up in the summer until i demonstrated how to ball his fists and slam them against my doors.  we collected caterpillars in my trailer park and built them houses while we traded pokemon cards.  he wasn’t the only one.  there was ben, and mitch, and noah—but kyle’s the only one who hurt me, because when he tried to kiss me and i asked him why, he told me “because you’re a girl and i’m a boy, shouldn’t we like each other?”

i missed him so much and i wondered why he couldn’t just be my friend like he always was

in the first grade there was rich and joseph and i got sent to detention with them almost every day with a smile on my face.  we built block towers and sang to my teacher’s lion king soundtracks when she’d turn the lights off during lunch time.  one day they got in a fist fight over me at recess, and i wondered why they felt they needed to share my friendship, like it was something they owned.

in the second grade zach and i played yu gi oh under our desks during free time and i got moved for talking to him constantly.  everyone in the class would tease him and i for talking, asking when we were going to date already, asking him if he’d kissed me, and he stopped being my friend.

when i was 11 i met a chubby boy with the name of a colour who wore puffy vests and unwashed t-shirts, with greasy hair and bright blue eyes and a smile that hid hurt behind it.  people didn’t like him because he was silly, but i liked him, because i was also silly.  he became my friend the day he bought me 5 giant roses and asked me to be his girlfriend, and i politely declined but promised him i’d be his best friend because i’d always wanted a best guy friend that stuck around. we burnt our feet on the concrete during the summer and walked home with the sunset silhouetting us.  he talked often about how he loved me, but never blamed me for being me, even though he refused to move on. that boy dyed his hair jet black and sat on the end of my bed playing songs to me on guitar, and all that pent up rage from before didn’t show until the first time he slapped me across the face and called me a dumb cunt.

in the 7th grade there was a boy named ryan who sat next to me on the bus and talked to me about manga.  he’d ask me personal invasive questions but i didn’t mind because it was attention and i liked attention.  i was dating another guitarist with curly brown hair, one who was much more kind-tempered than the other, and ryan mentioned how much of an asshole he was every day.  i wondered, why, why does he think the love of my life is an asshole?  but whenever i asked him, he just told me, “girls only date assholes.  there’s no room for nice guys like me.”

i wondered, if he was so nice, why did he say such mean things?

he never stopped with me, taking me to movies, hanging out with me, you know.  being friendly.  i thought we were friends.  but then, how many times had i thought that before?

how many times had i bonded with a boy, thought they got me, only for them to ask me if i wanted to make out?

how come when i told ryan i was coming out as a lesbian, he stopped being my friend, and said “damnit, the one girl i really want to pound into a mattress, and she’s only interested in chicks!”

there was a boy my junior year who stayed up all night with me until the sun rose, talking about life, past loves, hopes, dreams.  beneath a million twinkling stars spanning forever, he brushed long brown hair out of his eyes and listened to me talk about the history that made me. then he asked me if i’d ever consider dating a guy, and complained about how he’d never get laid.

when i told him no a couple hundred times, he found new girls to listen to.

i would sit on the couch and play zelda with dakota, and he’d talk about all my favourite games with me.  he was the closest thing to support i had, and the letters and poems he wrote me were always so kind and friendly.  but he’d put his arms around me on the couch, and no matter how many times i told him i was uncomfortable, he’d still come over every day and do it.

“don’t you know how it feels to love someone and not have them love you back?  don’t you know what it feels like to be friendzoned?”

when i meet guys who talk about the friendzone, who talk about the girls who don’t give “nice guys” like them i chance, i always want to just say

when i was 10 years old i met a girl whose brown hair fell across her shoulders and whos eyes sparkled when the sunlight hit them, whose voice was like velvet and whose scent was like mountain smoke, who made me dizzier than a fly climbing a sugar hill.  and i’m 18 years old, and i still love her, and she knows, and she doesn’t love me.

but my first thoughts upon hearing her rejection were not “what a bitch,” were not “she just wants a douchebag and not a nice girl like me!” were not “im going to keep pushing her until she dates me,”

they were

“she is the best friend i have ever had, and i am the best she’s ever had, and i would hate to take that away from her.”

so before you play the victim, mr. Nice Guy, before you angrily throw your fedora on the ground and blame the girl you claim to adore so much:

put yourself in the shoes of a girl who thought she made a wonderful friend, only to find out that he just wanted her for sex.  that he just wanted her for a relationship.  a girl who was just an object to win, a prize.  a girl who’s trust you’ve just shattered.

maybe she friendzoned you.  but you girlfriendzoned her, first.

[whatwouldusagido]

Yes, yes, yes.

is it time for frank cho and milo manara to die or what

[whatwouldusagido]

“On December 19, the Electors of the Electoral College will cast their ballots. If they all vote the way their states voted, Donald Trump will win. However, they can vote for Hillary Clinton if they choose. Even in states where that is not allowed, their vote would still be counted, they would simply pay a small fine - which we can be sure Clinton supporters will be glad to pay!”

The petition has already been signed by over 750,000 people.

Help reach the 1M goal by signing here!

[whatwouldusagido]

prepare for an over-analysis of fucking minions:

okay so apparently the creator of the Minions (who is named Pierre Coffin, holy shit, what an amazing name) said something along the lines of “All the Minions are boys/men because I just can’t see women acting that stupid” which a lot of people are taking as “haha yeah men are stupid!” but also this is a really boring trend I’ve seen in media (especially cartoons and sitcoms) since the dawn of time

characters that are silly, goofy, stupid, funny, loud, obnoxious, and ridiculous are always boys.

characters that are smart, mature, delicate, and sophisticated are almost always girls.

now to a lot of people this is probably a “yeah, so?” kind of thing, and some people might even see it as a good thing? they might see it as “yes i’m glad girls are being taught that boys are stupid!”

well, that’s not really the case. girls aren’t being taught boys are stupid, they’re being taught that boys GET to be stupid. boys GET to be loud and goofy because they’re boys, and that’s just how boys act. it enforces a really harsh gender role that says that boys are naturally funny and silly and girls need to stay quiet. 

and typically whenever these two character archetypes interact, the mature girl is always there to ruin the boy’s fun (Cosmo and Wanda, Billy and Mandy, Dib and Gaz, Goku and Chichi, Fred and Wilma, George and Jane, and Every Sitcom You’ve Ever Seen)

i just think it’s time for some girl characters that are allowed to be silly! that are allowed to run the show with their goofiness! to tell girls that it’s okay to not be mature and have fun! i’m just tired of the same gender roles being enforced that I’ve been noticing since I was a kid!

[whatwouldusagido]

When I was a freshman, my sister was in eighth grade. There was a boy in two of her periods who would ask her out every single day. (Third and seventh period, if I remember correctly.) All day during third and seventh she would repeatedly tell him no. She didn’t beat around the bush, she didn’t lie and say she was taken—she just said no. One day, in third period, after being rejected several times, he said; “I have a gun in my locker. If you don’t say yes, I am going to shoot you in seventh.” [[MORE]] She refused again, but right after class she went to the principal’s office and told them what happened. They searched his locker and there was a gun in his backpack. When he was arrested, some of my sister’s friends (some female, even) told her that she was selfish for saying no so many times. That because of her, the entire school was in jeopardy. That it wouldn’t have killed her to say yes and give it a try, but because she was so mean to him, he lost his temper. Many of her male friends said it was “girls like her” that made all women seem like cockteases. Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up? Years later, when I was a senior, I was the only girl in my Criminal Justice class. The teacher, who used to be a sergeant in the police force, told us a story of something that had happened to a girl he knew when she was in high school. There was a guy who obviously had a crush on her and he made her uncomfortable. One day he finally gathered up the courage to ask her out, and she said no. The next day, during an assembly, he pulled a gun on her in front of everyone and threatened to kill her if she didn’t date him. He was tackled to the ground and the gun was taken from him. When my teacher asked the class who was at fault for the crime, I was the only person who said the boy was. All the other kids in the class (who were all boys) said that the girl was, that if she had said yes he would’ve never lost it and brought a gun and tried to kill her. When my teacher said that they were wrong and that this is what is wrong with society, that whenever a white boy commits a crime it’s someone else’s fault (music, television, video games, the victim) one boy raised his hand and literally said; “But if someone were to punch me and I punched him back, who is at fault for the fight? He is, not me. It’s self-defence. She started it, so anything that happens to her is in reaction to her actions .It’s simple cause and effect.” Even though he spent the rest of the calss period ripping into the boys and saying that you are always responsible for your own actions, and that women are allowed to say no and do not have to date them, they left class laughing about how idiotic he was and that he clearly had no idea how much it hurt to be rejected. So now we have a new school shooting, based solely on the fact some guy couldn’t get laid, and I see men, boys, applaudin him, or if they’re not applauding him, they’re laying blame on women as a whole. Just like my sister’s friends did. Just like the boys in my Criminal Justice class did. This isn’t something that’s rare. This isn’t something that never happens, or that a select group of men feel as if they are so entitled to women that saying no is not only the worst possible thing a woman can do, but is considered a form of “defence” when they commit a crime upon them (whether it be rape or murder-as-a-reaction-towards-rejection). Girls are being killed for saying no to prom invites. Girls are being killed for saying no to men. They are creating an atmosphere where women are too scared to say no, and the worst part is? They are doing it intentionally. They want society to be that way, they want women to say yes entirely out of fear. Even the boys and men who aren’t showing up to schools with guns are saying; “Well, you know, I wouldn’t do that, but you have to admit that if she had just said yes …” If you are a man and you defend this guys’ actions or try to find an excuse for it, or you denounce what really happened, or in any way lay blame on women, every girl you know, every woman you love, has just now thought to themselves that you might lose your shit and kill them someday for saying no. You have just lost their trust. And you know what? You deserve to lose it.

cry laugh feel love peace panic:  

“Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up?” -vampmissedith.tumblr.com

THIS IS MANDATORY READING!

(via feminist-space)

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ THIS.

(via stfueverything)

___

This ish is further compounded with bullshit like: “So why did she keep talking to him if she didn’t like him?” And similar. Where once again it’s the girl’s fault for not saying no directly, even though saying no directly apparently means she deserves to be shot, because the pain of rejection for a man is more lethal that actual death for a woman, for saying no.

(via madgastronomer)

Cant even get over this...... We NEED to teach our boys better.

[whatwouldusagido]

Girls Do Science

Video

[whatwouldusagido]

I had this happen to me last night. I highly encourage anyone who uses Kik to block him.

[whatwouldusagido]

So.............. Why dont they just wait until the manga is finished? Sounds stupidly simple to me.. 

[whatwouldusagido]

And people are bitching about Crystals characters long skinny legs..... 

Usagi’s Confusion

Full Size Here

[whatwouldusagido]

Friggin love cats

[whatwouldusagido]

[pre-gifs] “…So, she [Paris Hilton] was a very wealthy woman, [initially] not that well known and then she gets to mega-stardom. How? The sex tape. Which was made by her boyfriend at the time, who was married, and thirteen years her senior. She sued to try and stop it [the tape’s circulation] and she couldn’t and it became the best selling sex tape for two years on the porn market.”

Dr. Gail Dines addressing porn culture and rape culture’s intersecting roles in patriarchy

[whatwouldusagido]

A comparison of Sailor Pluto, Manga vs Crystal.

(credits to Miss Dream for the manga scan)

There’s people in the fandom who are already complaining about Sailor Pluto looking “pale”, so I decided to take a look at her in the manga and now I’m sharing it with you so you guys decide whether or not she’s been whitewashed.

For the sake of clarification, I’m only comparing her to her manga counterpart because not only was the 90s anime inconsistent with her skin tone, I also possess a version of it that has the color scheme intensified, for a lack of a more appropiate term, and last but not least, because Crystal, as we all should know is based off of the manga, which was the first version of Sailor Moon.

I suppose you can notice some difference between black-and-white Pluto and Crystal Pluto, however, Naoko did plenty of colored artwork in manga style, which as I’ve already said is the original, and since this is her story and her characters, it’s up to her to determine how her skin color should look colored.

From my point of view, or rather from what I can see here, Crystal Pluto looks at least a shade darker than her colored-manga counterpart, which to me should be the basis for any other colored version of Sailor Pluto, and to be honest not even Naoko was perfectly consistent with Pluto’s skin, since there is at least one piece of artwork where she looks even ligther than in the ones in this comparison.

If that’s not enough for you anyway, it’s fine, we all have our own opinions, however I don’t think it’s true that Sailor Pluto has been whitewashed.

In case that didn’t make sense, it’s okay if you don’t like Pluto’s skin color in Crystal, but be careful with making it a problematic issue like whitewashing.

[whatwouldusagido]

People have offered many potential explanations for this discrepancy, but this ad highlights the importance of the social cues that push girls away from math and science in their earliest childhood years.

Watch the powerful Verizon advertisement to really understand what a little girl hears when you tell her she’s pretty.

[whatwouldusagido]

Yay!!!

When did they introduce chibi-usa to smc?!?!!?

That tiny bit came from a trailer for the Black Moon Arc! You can watch it here. :)

[whatwouldusagido]

WTF?!?!?!?!

Remember how we were all, “OMG Wonder Woman is getting a movie!!!”?

Well, it turns out that DC Comics and WB aren’t quite as on board as we were led to believe.

Here’s Vulture in an interview piece with the film’s director Michelle McLaren:

During a lunch last month at the Soho House...

[whatwouldusagido]

LOL OMG Wow............ "Dumb" isnt even a strong enough word. Lol what a loser. Nothing surprising though. Just funny.

men are honestly so dumb it’s enchanting

[whatwouldusagido]

Does it bother ANYONE else when they see fan art depicting Chibi Usa and/or Hotaru as overtly sexual? Theyre little girls. Like.. LITTLE girls.. Its disgusting. 

Anytime its done with underage characters. Yes, theyre fake. Duh. But the fact that someone WANTED to draw it and they/other people get off on seeing it.. If you are going to do art work like that, you can very easily replace the 6 year old with one of the many adult characters of the show..... JS