wolfoblog

[wolfoblog]

been a bit

it has been some time sense i posted to my tumblr, after making that post a couple of months back i started to see things differently between life it self and what a relationship actually means to be a true one and where i had failed not only with freinds but with ones i care and love for, slowly but surely ive started to improve idk if the meds are really helping that much sense ive been on them a few months now and with my primary care doctor not being around where i go anymore to do checkups im not exactly sure if i should contiune the meds till their gone fully or just toss them as it can be harmful to stop them so soon without cutting the prozac into smaller doses, like i do feel better and less depressed but i feel their may be more then just depression that is causing me to act in such ways, ik its not that people arent doing enough as ive told kovo alot of times now i just feel like alot of the time i dont have that feeling to do rp with him at times or feel a need to be well “sexualy driven” to say the least, tho it may just be anxiety that could be  the cause of the issue and me just not being comfertable with my self as i still try to go through the proccess of transition from a male to a female and try to find doctors around where i live to get on hrt finaly, at least he is seeing that i am trying for him to make things right for both of us and working this out as a team instead of alone like before, i dont wana lose anyone else or any other freinds

moving stress- so 3 days ago my older brother and his wife and i finaly moved into our new place and across to a new town, first 2 days or so we were all just worn out and it didnt help that we had no gas or hot water for 3 days which made it hard to cook most food or even shower .3.” the fun of being sticky sweaty and smelling not great wasnt fun, then the other day i was tasked to fill our freezer with things that we had from family, my grandma gave us a little to much stuff idk where to even put half of this stuff rn as i type this out, but our freezer is kinda booby trapped rn because one thing after another comes out when we open the door to it and its small and cramped but we make it work, then last night we had a panic attack as my brothers male cat little bit was missing and he was starting to cry as he is a emotional support animal and a big part of his life, tho luckly we did find him after a hour of almost searching qwq, the big goof was moving around as we tried to find him which made it even harder on us

job hunting when you have mental disabilitys- the title says it all it becomes rather hard to do when alot of stress and anxity rolls over you all at the same time, for me it makes it hard for me to land and keep a job longer then a week or month at most as it can get to the point i cant handle it all, get sick by accident and get let go by the work company a day later or so, but i still try my best even if its a little money coming in as long as i can get somthing in to help my family out

i think thats all for now i just wanted to make a small update for the moment but hopefuly anyone who reads this has a wonderful day

nova

[wolfoblog]

an appology that is needed..

im making this on behalf of somthing that came up as of this morning, seeing how i now have some type of stalker or person wanting to make my life not so great and having told someone close to me about things i shouldnt have been doing and not being a loyal person to someone that deeply has feelings twords me even if we didnt agree about dating just yet and just slowly worked my way around such things with him like a couple, i deeply appologize for doing rp or any type of erp with any of you as it was not right of me to do and hurt not only my heart but the heart of kovo’s as well, some may not know him but i do hope we all can still be freinds after this post is made and sent out to everyone as i have made a promise to change and be loyal like i should of been even if i have to have a collar with a chain around my neck the entire time and take time away from things like discord to fix my self id rather do it then hurt someone that is rather close to us and learn to be loyal, i am also going to be looking to get back on anti depressant medication and hopefully somthin for my anxiety to help with thigns as i still wait for my transition..

-nova