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I Refuse To Say’ I Love You’ Right Away

Locking eyes with your boyfriend, hearing him say those three littlewords, and then refusing to say them back is uncomfortable. In fact, it’s downright painful, but I don’t give a damn. I’m not going to say,” I love you” unless I mean it.

Relationships shouldn’t be rushed .

I don’t wantto skip ahead to the serious stage where I’m on a first name basis with his mama and leavetoothbrushes at his home. I’m going to enjoy the beginningstages, when we’re awkwardly polite and are still excited to insure one another naked. If we fast forwardto love, we’llend up missing out on precious moments that only new couples have.

The right guy will understand why I want to wait .

I’m not a total bitch. I’m not going to stare blankly at my boyfriend after he bareshis soul to me. I’m going to explain the situation to him as gently as I can. I’ll tell him that I take” I love you” severely, and that I don’t think it’s fair for me to say the words to him before I truly believe them myself. If he gets pissy after I’m honest with him, then we don’t belong together. I don’t want a manwho prefersfalse affection. I want a manwho’s willing to wait for the real deal.

Love at first sight is bullshit .

I’m sorry, but Idon’t believe it’s possible to feel an emotion as intense and complicated as love, simply by watching an attractive person walk by. I think you can tell if you have chemistry with person from the very first time you meet. I even think it’s possible to predictthat you’re eventually going to fall in love with a certainperson. But I don’t think you feel that love right off the at-bat. That’s why those three little words won’t escape my lips early on in the relationship. I need time to get to know my boyfriend’s mind, heart, and soul before I can claim that I love every singlepiece of him.

Idon’t confound love for lust .

There’s a reason why people assert” I love you” doesn’t count if it’s said right after sexuality. It’s because lust can confuse the hell out of you. But I’m smart enough to know thedifference between liking someone a whole lot and loving someone. Believe it or not, complimenting me and giving me intenseorgasms doesn’t ensure my love. I won’t love himuntil I know himwell, and I won’t know himwell until I spend months of my time alongside him.

Idon’t want to give out false hope .

Idon’t want to blurt out the words on a whim and make him thinkthat our relationship is more serious than it is. That’s why I’m not going to tell someone I love them the first time thewords cross my mind. I need time to process the feelings on my own. After I’m comfortable with the fact that I love him, and know that my feelings aren’t going to change anytime soon, then I’ll think about telling him. It’s a process.

Love is scary .

I’ll admit it. I’m frightened of falling in love. To me, it’s not some sweet concept thatwill turn my lonely life into an exciting adventure. It’s a ruthlessemotionthat’scapable of destroyingeverything I am. I don’t want to rush into something as dangerousasthat. So if I say,” I love you ,” then I must really entail it, because I’d rather feel numb than give you my whole heart.

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I Don’t Know Why You Still Run Through My Mind As Much As You Do

I dont know why you still run through my intellect as much as you do. I would love to tell myself that it only happens in fleeting moments, or in times when my mind is idle, but I was created on franknes, and that would attain me a liar. You run through my intellect at 2 in the afternoon just as much as you did at 2am when I was laying in your limbs. Simply as much as you did on Saturday mornings, when I would climb out of bed and you would pull me back into you, forceful but gentle. Im convinced that no girl in her right mind would have been able to resist the re-invitation. Just as much as you did when you nuzzled me at night, all night, when our naked chests pressed into each other. Just as much as you did the very first morning when I woke up in your bed; unfamiliar yet so familiar at the same period, the kiss down my back felt as light as I did when I first woke up … free, unrestricted.

If I knew that back kiss would turn to a bittersweet aiming, I virtually suppose I would have called myself an Uber in the middle of the night and saved myself the heart ache.

Sometimes I think about May. About my first visit home after being in this place for so long. They say a lot can change in a year. I know my intellect will instinctively begin to race with thinks of you even days before we have the meeting that is inevitably going to happen again. I wonder if my heart will fell to my stomach the second I step off the plane, just knowing that thousands of miles no longer separate us. Knowing that I could drive down I-6 4 East and construct my back to your driveway with no GPS. Because in the same style I memorized your body, I memorized every turn on the hour drive that would result me back to you.

Then I think about the working day when I see you again. I wonder when my brown eyes match with yours, if time will abruptly progress in slow-motion. If, even for a minute, it will simply be the two of us capsuled in our own hour and space like it used to be. I wonder if when I come back to my senses, period will double time, begin to move at an almost uncomfortably fast pace. If Ill yell at you across the room about how we havent spoken since October 1st and I am still used to describe you, if Ill scream out all the ways that you violated my heart even in your absence, if Ill hurl the shattered pieces at you with everything in me. I imagine myself mentally struggling with gliding past you, dripping with a new grace and trust. Or urgently crashing into your arms, hoping to feel what we had again. I wonder if youll be able to reek it on me, the struggle, the angst. Or find what no one else can see oozing from my pores, the hurt, the confusion.

You always paid very close attention to detail, to me .

Other hours, I think about September. I think about the last day that I saw you, held you, and inhaled you in. I was cold and you wouldnt let me wear this old, long-sleeved shirt that I pulled out of your drawer, but I like to try and pushing that detail out of my mind because then I am forced to swallow the fact that you werent as magical as I built you out to be. That you were a real human being, with real flaws, but I built you out to be so much more. How it all seemed so infinite. And how now I do everything but physically rip my heart out of my chest going over and over and over again wondering how we got here. Wondering how you looked at me on a Tuesday like I was everything, and then disposed me on a Thursday like I was nothing. And then wondering if I was actually everything, or if love and deceit could possibly both exist inside of you.

I read a book once that said you should make a man await 90 days before he is allowed to sleep with you. Make him await 90 days and he is certainly prove himself, surely he is fully committed. And while this rarely happens, sometimes I think about July. When your parents went out of town and you persuaded me to stay with you. You showed me your baby paintings, I met your dog. It was raining and then I satisfied you in a different way than I have ever fulfilled you before. We became an entanglement of limbs as you thrust inside of me for the first time that night, forceful but gentle. Seven months after we met. 60 days, 90 days, 212 days, it doesnt matter if they dont want to stay the author of that book clearly didnt attaches importance to detail like you. But sex was never the basis of these butterflies. It wasnt even something that I needed from you and with or without it, I know that my heart would be broken the same way.

And after examining and re-examining and cross investigating all the months that have passed and the memories that each of them hold, I am forced to sit down and examine reality.

Honestly I detest looking at this, at you, at us, at me, through logical eyes. I think about all the growth Ive experienced in merely these three months and how Im no longer the same female who loved you in September. How even if I wanted to, I could never force the butterfly Ive become back into that same cocoon of 22 year old Micah who loved everything about you. Watch, Ive had a half birthday. Im 22 now, and I am different. The scalp regenerates every 27 days. Scientifically speaking, youve never even touched this body. I detest thinking about how that truth also applies to you. How much Im sure youve grown, how youve had new experiences that have shaped you, too. I find myself selfishly wishing that you could stay the same. Wishing that I could come back and find you malnourished. Find you pleading for a savor of my brown sugar laced encouragement to once again help you get through some of the most distasteful days. But the logical part of me knows that human is no more, that loving you again would in many ways be meeting you for the first time.

You were my second sorrow, a pain that I would never wish on someone once, much less twice. I know there are people who have lived through much more and I find myself questioning the source of their strength. I have almost been driven to the point of never wanting to love someone more than they love me again. To never settle for convenience and ease again. Even when it feels like the best convenience and ease in the whole whole world. They say that you have to be careful with matters of the heart- because the depth of your love today is the depth of your wound tomorrow. With that in intellect, I know that I loved you, since there are days when it feels like I have been cut right down to the bone.

But in the midst of the ache, I also think about December. I think about today. I think about right now. I would love to say that I think about you less, but I dont I just think about you

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Obama nemesis Hobby Lobby probed for allegedly buying black market biblical items | Fox News

Hobby Lobby CEO Steven Green,( r .), is the world’s foremost private collector of biblical artifacts.( MuseumoftheBible.com

As the worlds foremost collector of rare biblical artifacts, Steven Green may have made a deal with the devil – helping to preserve Iraqs vanishing Christian heritage by allegedly buying black market items plundered by the Islamic State.

Green, whose family-owned Hobby Lobby company clashed bitterly with the Obama administration over federal health care statutes that required it to cover reproductive services, is being investigated by Customs& Border Protection reportedly for attempting to smuggle as many as 300 age-old cuneiform tablets from Iraq into the U.S. via Israel, labeling them “tiles.” It was not clear if the probe centres on Green, the company, or both, but the shipment was reportedly addressed to Hobby Lobby headquarters in Oklahoma City.

The tablets, which The Daily Beast reported are thousands of years old and inscribed with text being implemented in ancient Assyria and Babylonia, were confiscated by Customs agents in Memphis, Tenn ., in 2011, but were on their style into Greens collection of the rarest and most significant biblical text and artifacts ever assembled including cuneiform tablets dating from the time of Abraham, Dead Sea Scroll fragments, biblical papyri and manuscripts, Torah scrolls, and rare printed Bibles.

“We understand that Hobby Lobby is cooperating with the investigation related to certain biblical artifacts.”

– Steven Bickley, Museum of the Bible

Some 40,000 historical Christian artifacts and objects are being prepped for display in Greens $ 400 million, 430,000 -square-foot, 8-story Museum of the Bible, set to open in late 2017 merely three blocks from the U.S. Capitol in Washington.

“We understand that Hobby Lobby is cooperating with the investigation related to certain biblical artifacts, said Museum of the Bible Vice President Steven Bickley in a statement to FoxNews.com. The Museum of the Bible is a separate not-for-profit entity made possible by the generous charitable contributions of the Green family and others.”

Little is known publicly about this case, and U.S. Customs did not comment on FoxNews.coms inquiry. But one U.S. archaeologist who has worked with the Greens said the family is very meticulous and ethical about acquisitions.

“In my opinion the Greens would not have knowingly bought antiquities from an unknown or suspected source, ” said the archaeologist, a prominent professor at a respected university who asked not to be identified. “However, the authorities concerned are extremely sensitive about any antiques coming into the market at this time and are critical of almost any trade or sale between the Middle East and other countries, especially with regard to well-funded private collectors such as the Greens. Therefore, they would be a prime target of investigation.”

Others called Hobby Lobbys reported claim that the tablets were hand-crafted tiles worth merely $300 a piece ludicrous.

The tablets could be worth anywhere from $2,000 to $30,000 each, according to Amr Al-Azm, an associate professor Middle East History and Anthropology in the Department of Social Science at Shawnee State University.

And calling the tablets tiles is comparable to labeling ancient books as tiles, because they are both square shaped, said Eric Meyers, an archaeologist and director of the graduate program in religion at Duke University. He estimated that ISIS reaps up to $100 million a year by selling plundered artifacts on the black market.

Under Iraqi law, cultural heritage is the property of the country, with antiques recognized as “national gems and anyone who removes them from the country is a robber. This can in turn trigger a legal assert in the United States, as well as the United Kingdom, that would allow Iraq to retrieve them. And it could similarly uncover any vendors, merchants, or purchasers to criminal penalties.

American law also criminalizes the receipt, possession, and transport of stolen property. Penalties for violating the National Stolen Property Act can be up to 10 years imprisonment and fines.

In August, the FBI issued an alert that Islamic States looted antiques were being sold in the American marketplace, and cautioned collectors and traders who purchase these objects may be funding terror activities and would be subject to sanctions and prosecution under federal law.

If the smuggling accusations are true, the Greens could argue they saved important historical and cultural religious artifacts from sure extermination at the hands of terrorists in an unstable, war-torn country, Al-Azm said.

However, both Al-Azm and Meyers said buying artifacts from terrorists is both unethical and illegal. Besides money the terror operations, dealing with the looters also fosters continued pillaging and destruction of sacred sites.

As the Islamic State wages waves of terror in Iraq and Syria, how to best manage the organized and systematic pillaging and destruction of irreplaceable historical objects and artifacts and religious sites is a hot topic among academics, archeologists, bureaucrats and historians.

The Islamic State has become so well organized in its looting of relics, the terror group has its own black market network that has become one of its leading sources of revenue.

The Islamic State demands a 20 percent cut of any looted objects sold by locals, regulates access to historical sites, in part by issuing permits and licenses and in addition to performing their own looting, also hires contractors to raid sites, Al-Azm said.

The Islamic State formed the its own Archaeological Administration in the city of Manbij to organize the sale and transfer of artifacts, which it distributes through a highly organized network of approved merchants, Al-Azm said.

This evidence indicates that the control and sale of looted antiquities is extremely lucrative, well worth the time and financial investment by ISIS, Al-Azm said. ISIS is clearly involved and profiting at every level from the illicit trade of antiquitiesfrom their initial extraction from the ground to their final sale and exit from ISIS-controlled territory.

Over the past few months, pillaging and extermination by the Islamic State has only become darker and more sinister, Al-Azm said.

In what can only be described as culture atrocities, ISIS very publicly set out to destroy the contents of the Mosul Museum and the archaeological sites of Nineveh and Hatra most likely extensively looting them as well, Al-Azm said. These atrocities shocked the world, allowing ISIS to demonstrate its ability to act with impunity and illustrating the powerlessnes of the international community to prevented the atrocities.

While looting is an extremely old phenomenon, as old as the pyramids, Al-Azm pointed out, and has continued over the centuries largely in countries involved in war, Meyers said items stolen in Iraq have inundated the market since the first Gulf War, turning up largely in the hands of dealers throughout the middle east and Europe.

Many other irreplaceable items have been destroyed and thrown away, which is tragic, said Meyers who is involved with American Schools of Oriental Research, which works on behalf of U.S. Department of State to document, protect, and preserve the cultural heritage of war-torn Syria and northern Iraq.

Sept. 30, The State Department announced a$ 5 million reward for anyone who could provide information that interrupts the Islamic States plundering activities.

ISILs damage and looting of historic sites in Syria and Iraq have not only destroyed irreplaceable evidence of ancient life and society but have also helped money its reign of terror inside those countries, the State Department announced from the New York Metropolitan Museum. ISILs damage and looting of historic sites in Syria and Iraq have not only destroyed irreplaceable evidence of ancient life and society but have also helped money its reign of terror inside those countries.

The investigation has reportedly widened over four years, and in the end, Green and his $3.7 -billion company could face civil penalties or criminal charges. The Green took on the Obama administration previously in the U.S. Supreme Court case Burwell v. Hobby Lobby. In a June, 2014 decision, the high court permitted the company an exemption to the Obamacare healthcare mandate on religious grounds from certain specific types of contraception.

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Is my online dating FOMO scuppering my chances of romance?

Image: Ambar Del Moral/ mashable

LONDON Sitting in a packed Tube carriage on my style home from run, I swipe through my phone.

SEE ALSO: This Snapchat feature can tell you if your crush is into you

As I trawl through to discover another track on Spotify, my eyes flit to the yellow Bumble icon.

“Oh god, ” I say internally. I’d not opened the app in over a week. I’d dismissed the notifications that flashed across my screen while I was at work, promising myself that I’d look at them afterward. But afterwards never came, and my notifications fell by the wayside.

As I stared at my reflection in the window before me, an unwelcome thought arrived in my head.

“You’re going to die alone and it’s all your flaw! “

It might sound like a ridiculous thing to gues, but right there in that Tube carriage, I felt an unpleasant, anxious feeling that I wanted to shake off immediately.

As I emerged from the develop station, I opened my phone and began swiping hurriedly to make up for lost day. I fired off messages to three guys there and then in an attempt to feel better about the situation. I carried on swiping as I walked home, telling myself to be indiscriminate so that I could maximise the number of matches.

I responded to messages that had been unread for weeks, apologising profusely and attempting, very belatedly, to resuscitate a doomed conversation.

But really I knew these feeble tries weren’t going to amount to much. It was just a quick fix for my swiping FOMO, the anxiety I feel when I’m not active enough on dating apps.

This FOMO is multifaceted. There’s the fear that the neglected, unread messages are missed opportunities, potential boyfriends that I might have inadvertently dismissed. There’s the fear that I’m the only one not capitalising on the wealth of potential matches because I’m too busy, too tired and, let’s be honest, too lazy to put in more effort.

But, my swiping FOMO isn’t always self-induced, either.

“Are you messaging anyone special? “

Whenever I catch up with my friends over dinner, they ask me the dreaded topic “are you messaging anyone special? ” My mind immediately begins to grappling for excuses: “work has taken over my life lately, ” or “I’m useless at striking up conversations”.

Once the plates have been cleared and I’m on the journey home, I’d embark on a session of panicked swiping. And son, did I swipe with abandon.

Of course, these FOMO-fuelled commotions of online dating activity haven’t made a single date.

The problem lies largely in the driving force behind it. These explodes are motivated by my need to ease the nervousnes I feel about my absence of a date.

But, amidst the myriad pressures in my life, do I really need to mentally beat myself up over dating? It’s something that’s supposed to be fun, right ?

Friends have told me to try harder; to be more inventive with my icebreakers; to go on more dates. All of these imperatives merely add to my FOMO.

Jack Knowles, founder of dating app Temptr, said that a lot of online daters can be left feeling anxious if they forget to check their dating apps for long periods of time.

“There is nothing worse than that sinking feeling after forgetting to use your dating app, opening it up and seeing that your dreaming date messaged you weeks ago and you missed it, ” Knowles told Mashable .

“Try not to let this freak you out, you are able to message these potential dates, but just be honest! Say to them youve had a busy few days and didnt have time to use the app. And apologise for to be maintained waiting, ” Knowles continued.

Dating expert Sarah Ryan told Mashable that the plethora of options presented by dating apps could be increasing our anxiety.

“Online dating has given us the world of singles at our fingertips but hasn’t it increased our nervousnes, our number of pen pals and our number of options? ” asks Ryan.

“We get anxious about missing out on the messages because online dating gives us access and ability to say things and speak to people we would probably never usually chat to or even know we have intersected tracks with, ” Ryan continued.

While messaging singles can attain you feel in control of your love life, letting that aspect of their own lives slip-up, which is easily done, can give you the impression that you’ve lost control.

When online dating is causing anxiety, the power of dating IRL( in real life) shouldn’t be underestimated, says Ryan.

The solution to my online dating woes could be as simple as taking my love life offline. For now, I’ll stick it out and try not to mentally beat myself up every time I forget the apps.

Dating is supposed to be fun, after all. Life’s too short for FOMO.

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What Your Porn Search History Looks Like, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

The internet has a lot out there to discover when it comes to porn, and though not everything is for everyone, there’s definitely something out there for every zodiac sign.

Depending on the characteristics of your sign, you might require something a little dirtier, a little cleaner, a bit more prudish than the next guy.

We’re not here to judge you. We’ve all get our kinks. Here’s what yours might be, based on your zodiac sign.

Aries- Hentai

If you don’t know what Hentai is, don’t google it. It’s fully animated porn that knows no limits when it comes to kink-factor. Since it’s animated, viewers can evencatch a glimpse ofwhat’s going on INSIDE the body during sex.

Warning: This porn can get really aggressive, and there’s a lot of dom/ sub interaction. Leave it to Aries to want their sexuality with a side of fighting.

Taurus- Massage Porn

Taurus loves an affectionate touch, and they love to feel as relaxed as possible. They might be the only sign that could turn on a massage video and reach climax before piercing. Just the shoulders

Gemini-Threesome

Geminis don’t like to commit to one thing; they want options and they want more than one. Threesome porn will do it for them, as they can constantly switch back and forth between partners. Otherwise, they’re only switching between porn videos and that can take hours.

Cancer- Stepmom

Cancers have a lot of mom issuesOK? I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: They require a lot of love and attention and nurturing in bed, and same runs for their fantasy life.

The idea of getting into bed with someone who will cuddle them and cook them dinner after is hot to them, and for the women, having a human they can coddle to death issexy AF.

Leo- Soft Core

Leos have a rich, creative imagination. They don’t require a lot of close-up shots of someone getting shoot with a nerf gun full of jizz or whatever else is right there. They just require a suggestive outline. Their imaginations can do the heavy lifting, thank you very much.

Virgo- Anal

Aworld in which the act of anal sexuality isn’t followed up by the cleanup of well, anal shrapnel is the world Virgos want to live in.

It’s a world where we all have assholes that are pristine and spotless. Guess what, Virgo? Porn is the only world where this reality exists. Lucky for you, at the least it exists at all. Be grateful you were born in this decade.

Libra-Lesbian

Libras are about justice and balance, and since porn is designed for men’s pleasure.( Let’s face it, “the mens” in porn are f* cking hideous compared to the women they’re f* cking .)

Libras like to even out the scales by devoting their savours wholly to the women.

Scorpio- Lesbian Seducing Straight

Scorpio is the sign of transformation, death, and rebirth, and this is why they’re often thought of as the most sex sign.

It’s not that they’re all a bunch of nymphomaniacs, but their posture toward sex is that it should be a transformative experience, so watchingsomeone seduce and transform another is a huge turn-on for them.

Sagittarius- Gangbang

Sagittarius treats sex like it’s an olympic athletic. They want it to be an aerobic workout, and a good ol’ gang bang porn is the closest thing to a naked constraints and obstacles you’ll find online.

Not to mention, there’s a lot of gang bang porn featuring people from different cultures and backgrounds and speaking different languages, which appeals to that Sagittarius love of international travel.

Capricorn- Stepdad

Capricorns are opposite Cancer in the zodiac, so where Cancers might have a mommy fetish, Capricorns have a dad one.

Stepdad porn is a likely popular search term for Capricorns, who have a definite kinkies side that opposes their otherwise traditional values.

Aquarius- Virtual Reality

Aquarians are ahead of their time. They’re the space age thinkers of the zodiac, and they have a very experimental attitude toward sex.

They won’t be satisfied by the regular old in-and-out; there is a requirement to an interactive experience that enable them to opinion sexuality feeling like they are both participating and detached.

Pisces- Cartoon

Pisces need something to induce their imagination, something they won’t get too empathetic about. They tend to absorb the feelings of those they’re having sexuality with, so if they feel any kind of style about the porn they’re watching, or start thinking too much about how everyone involved is impression, it could really f* ck up the experience.

Best to go with something animated.

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Fresh evidence of mass graves revealed in Burundi

Amnesty International says spacecraft images match witness accounts of up to five tombs of people killed by security forces

Mass tombs believed to contain the authorities of dozens of people killed by security force in Burundi have been revealed in satellite images, video footage and witness accounts, Amnesty International has said.

The rights group said there were five possible mass graves in the Buringa area, on the outskirts of the capital, Bujumbura.

The imagery, dating from late December and early January, shows disturbed earth consistent with witness accounts, it said on Friday. Witness told Amnesty International that the tombs were dug on the afternoon of 11 December, in the immediate aftermath of the bloodiest day of Burundis intensifying crisis.

Earlier this month, the UN rights chief called for an urgent investigation into the alleged existence of mass graves.

Burundis government dismissed the allegations, saying they were based on false information.

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You Have To Read This Woman’s Powerful Letter To Her Husband’s Ex-Mistress

Carlie Maree received an email at work she likely wasn’t expecting.

The life coach and writer received an email from her husband’s ex-mistress. Maree started dating her husband in 2005 and married him in 2011, but she found out hewas cheating on herwhen their daughter was about 2 years old.

The affair affected Maree’s marriage in more routes than one, so she decided to write a letter back to the mistress. You can read it for yourself, but Maree had no notion the affair was going on and her tone is very forgiving.

She wrote,

We were rock solid, him and I. I genuinely thought that. We had a six-month-old baby and he was away a lot with work. Of course things were tough and we weren’t as connected as before but I needed him to hang in there for me, until things get easier. He would have I guess, if you had not come along at that moment.

I am not interested in blame and I don’t seem to be capable of hatred. I don’t care whose’ fault’ it is.

Maree chillinglygoes on to say she believes the reason her husband was drawn to his mistress whom he met at a bar while he spent hour away from home for run was because eventually, Maree let herself go a little( as mothers sometimes do because that’s only life ).

He missed the girl who had nothing but is high time to dote on him. That’s what you gave him.

Her husband met his ex-mistress during a time in their marriage when things were a little rocky Maree described him as pulling away but she believes everything happens for a reason. Though they are no longer together because of the affair, they “still have love and respect for each other.”

Wow. Severely, read the letter.

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How To Call Out The Person Who Ghosted You Without Being A Jerk About It

There’s absolutely nothing overreactive or dramatic about calling a guy out on ghosting or being upset that he disappeared in the first place. You shouldn’t be embarrassed that you care, and you want to make sure that you’re not embarrassed about being wrong subsequently. There’s ghosting, and then there’s the appearance of ghosting — when someone just doesn’t get back to you because they got tied up. That’s why it’s so important to call out the person who ghosted you politely: It gives you the upper hand and allows you to stand up for yourself without being written off as dramatic. If you’re incorrect about him having ghosted you, you will feel like you were in the wrong. Plus, being polite attains assured that your message will really sink in. Calling out members of the public who ghosted you politely gives them opportunity to apologize while also cleansing yourself of the negative energy you might carry from the experience.

When you’re tackling someone who disappeared on you, you want to make sure that that is exactly what happened before voicing how unacceptable it is. Do not permit the hurt or shame you might feel to influence the tone of your showdown. You want to stay cool, calm, and collected, while also articulating your impressions. This person is not worth your time and energy if they won’t give their period and energy to you; it doesn’t say anything about your worth or value. But by calling them out, you can make sure that they don’t ghost the next person who comes along.

If you want to call out person for ghosting without being a jerk about it, start with this.

1. Checking In

This is assuming that your ghost wasn’t a no-show on concrete plans and that the amount of communication between you has percolated off. Maybe you agreed to see each other again after the first date, merely to never hear from them. Perhaps you are assuming they are ghosting because you simply haven’t texted first or they didn’t respond to your last text message.

Look, mistakes happen. Sometimes, I forget to respond to my closest friends. People get caught up at work. They go out of township on business journeys. They have family emergencies. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that they just haven’t get back to you. So a simple , non-committal follow up, like “Hey, how are you doing? I was wondering whether you got my last message? ” is non-accusatory and also devotes them the opportunity to respond without feeling like they need to defend themselves.

Then, give them 24 hours to respond. Believe it or not , not every single millennial is glued to their telephones. If you text them during the day, then it would make sense if they didn’t react while at work. You don’t want to be calling out a person on ghosting when they actually forgot their telephone at home. Wait a day to make sure that they’re actually dead to you.

2. Be Honest And Maintain It Short

Your call out should focus on your feelings. They’re not a rogue, so don’t start off with the insults you might like to. Ghosts are actually normal people. They just aren’t worried about the results of talking to or having sex with someone. They likely didn’t mean to hurt you by disappearing. They probably weren’t thinking of you at all. So when you call out your ghost, you want to make sure that they realize that you are a real person and their actions( or non-actions) have consequences.

Hurling off a bunch of insults at your ghost might stimulate attain you feel good at first, but it’s kind of an empty feeling if you don’t get a response. And if they do react, you’ll likely feel like they are vilifying you. Don’t give them that ammunition.

A simple message that imparts the franknes of your feelings will have a cleansing power for you. Even if they don’t write back, it will probably provoked an emotional answer in them. Here’s a sample message you can tweak to suit your feelings

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Hey, you should know that I feel hurt/ disrespected/ dismissed because you ghosted on me. The polite thing to do would have been to simply tell me that you weren’t interested in ensure me again. Leaving me or anyone wondering is worse. I know you’re not a bad person, so I hope you don’t do this to the next person you meet.

Let them know exactly how their ghosting made you feel and what they should do to be a decent human being next time. Then, let them go.

3. Never Contact Them Again

Don’t call out your ghost is hoping to get a reply back. If you’ve arrived at the phase of calling out a person who ghosted you, it means you have no expectation or desire to ever ensure them again. Don’t bother doing the call out if it’s going to cause you emotional distress or lead you to obsessively check your telephone. You should call out your ghost because you want to leave them behind and rid the world of one more phantom.

And once you have, that’s it — no more text,. In fact, you should delete your ghost from your phone and all social media totally. Otherwise, you might find yourself being haunted by a poltergeist.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire Tv .

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this !

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Persian Dessert Recipes You’ll Want To Learn Right Now

Its no secret that we love desserthere at HuffPost Taste we are always finding excuses to get more into our lives. But theres an entire nation producing mouth-watering desserts that we havent fully experienced yet. Were talking about the desserts coming out of Iran, and its about period weve investigated these sweets.

Iran builds some of the best desserts out there they rival even the finest Parisian patisseries. They come flavored with saffron, rosewater, pistachio, honey and more delicious flavors we love.

According to Naomi Duguids Taste Of Persia, Iranians feed sweets often as a break in the working day with tea or coffee, rather than at the end of a snack. And believe us when we say that you will want to take a break with all of these desserts. Take a look for yourself.

Here are seven members of our favorite Iranian desserts

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1 Bamieh( Persian Doughnuts With Saffron And Rose Water)

Little Ferarro Kitchen

Bamieh are pieces of syrup-soaked fried dough. They are crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside — and fragrant thanks to the rosewater- and saffron-infused syrup.

Get the Persian Doughnuts with Saffron and Rose Water recipe from Little Ferarro Kitchen

2 Faloodeh( Rosewater And Lime Noodle Sorbet)

Maman’s Kitchen

According to Louisa Shafia, author of The New Persian Kitchen, Faloodeh is one of a very early known frozen desserts, dating back to 400 BCE. Faloodeh is basically a noodle sorbet. It is built with cooked vermicelli noodles and a sugar-sweetened frozen syrup that’s often spiked with sour flavors like lime or cherry. It is addictively chewy.

Get the Rosewater And Lime Noodle Sorbet recipe from Maman’s Kitchen , Faloodeh is one of a very early known frozen desserts, dating back to 400 BCE. Faloodeh is basically a noodle sorbet. It is constructed with cooked vermicelli noodles and a sugar-sweetened frozen syrup that’s often spiked with sour flavors like lime or cherry. It is addictively chewy.

3 Koloocheh

Fig and Quince

Koloocheh at its most basic is a cross between a fig Newton and Germanhamantaschen. Its texture and flavor vary depending not only on the region of Iran from which they hail, but also on the origin of the recipe that was handed down. One thing that remains consistent is that koloocheh are a special treat that often accompany celebrations and holidays.

Get the Koloocheh recipe from Fig and Quince

4 Kachi( Persian Halva Pudding)

Unicorns in the Kitchen

Chocolate pudding has got nothing on this saffron-infused dessert.

Get the Kachi( Persian Halva Pudding) recipe from Unicorns in the Kitchen

5 Raginak( Date And Walnut Pie)

Bottom Of The Pot

This is a beauty of a dessert. Dates are stuffed with toasted walnuts. They’re then bathed in a burnt butter and flour concoction before being topped with cinnamon, cardamom and pistachios. Yum.

Get the Raginak( Date And Walnut Pie) recipe from Bottom of the Pot

6 Sholeh Zard( Persian Saffron Rice Pudding)

Family Spice

If you like rice pudding, you’re going to love sholeh zard. Not only is it flavored with saffron and rosewater, but it’s decorated with cinnamon, almonds and pistachios, too.

Get the Sholeh Zard( Persian Saffron Rice Pudding) recipe from Family Spice

7 Bastani( Persian Saffron Ice Cream)

Food5 2

Saffron dedicates this Iranian ice cream an earthy flavor, the rosewater gives a clue of floral and the pistachios devote it a wonderful crunch.

Get the Persian Saffron Ice Cream recipe from Bastani/ Food5 2

Related…

The Iranian Dish You’ll Immediately Want To Induce For Dinner Brunch Has Got Nothing On Traditional Syrian Breakfast

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7 Creepy Ways Hollywood Teaches Dudes To Chase Women

Im a heterosexual male.

That entails, from persons under the age of 12, Ive expended approximately every single minute of my life wondering how I can get the girl.

Im also an average dude, which means I have absolutely no notion what Im doing.

Nearly two decades after the onset of puberty, and Im still baffled by romance.

Luckily for us guys, we can always turn to the movies for advice on how to win over the women of our dreams.

Popular cinemas are full of similarly desperate humen for us to relate to, be they teenage virgins on a quest to get laid or old-school romantics aiming for a happily ever after. Their routes to success can guide our own.

The problem is, Hollywood and reality rarely overlap. Merely as Star Wars isnt an accurate depiction of space travel, a rom-com isnt an instruction manual for dating.

Heres the deeper issue, though: That lack of realism is penalty in a movie like Star Wars, since the only people actually traveling to space, cosmonauts, know a lot more about the experience than George Lucas ever will. The fantasy harms no one.

Thats not the case when it is necessary to films about guys trying to score a fairly girlfriend.

We grow up watching these movies, and if were not careful, we can start to think the characters in them are models of appropriate romantic behavior.

As the examples below prove, this is rarely the instance. Here are seven styles Hollywood has taught us to chase women.

1. Cyber spy on her: “American Pie”

This quintessential teen classic doesnt lie to us about the essence of adolescent relationships. The boys in the movie are motivated less by love and more by the unstoppable onslaught of raging hormones.

In other words, its a shockingly accurate depiction of high school.

But its also pretty damn scaring when you take more than a few seconds to think about it. Particularly the scene in which Nadia, the beautiful foreign exchange student, undresses and masturbates while the guys watch it all via webcam.

In the real world, hiding a camera to spy on your classmate in any context is a pretty serious offense.

In a sex context, it should probably get your name added to a list.

In American Pie, its played for chuckles, and the only one who suffers any consequences is poor Nadia, who is was sent out to her “countries ” when the webcam video runs viral across the school and her exchange family determines out.

And while were on that subject…

2. Watch her undress without her knowing: “The Girl Next Door”

The Girl Next Door is about a shy teen who learns to overcome his personal limitations and lands a relationship with his ex-porn star neighbour, because no teen movie can allow a guy to determine fulfillment without also rewarding him with an unrealistically attractive girlfriend.

Except, in this case, the characters satisfy because he watches her undress through her open window, and she catches him in the act.

Thats right, guys: If you think a girl is hot, theres nothing wrong with going full Peeping tom. Shell probably find it cute.

Hey, the committee is also worked out for George McFly in Back to the Future.

3. Get her reallydrunk first: “Superbad”

You know when you hear daughters say, Oh, man, I was so sh* t-faced last night, I shouldnt have f* cked that guy? We could be that mistake!

Thats the character of Seth trying to convince his friend Evan to join him in buying alcohol, bringing it to a party, get their crushes drunk and having sexuality with them.

Its a line that sums up the cinemas premise so well that it proved up in most of the trailers and Tv places. And plenty of us were happy to overlook the fact that this is a terrifying premise for a comedy.

Again, look at that term mistake. Seth assumes the good-looking girls dont actually want to have sex with him and Evan, but if he gets them drunk enough, they might.

Sooooo … its basically a movie about two guys on a goofy quest to perpetrate date rape?

Granted, their plan backfires in the short term, and they dont get laid at the party, but the next morning, they bump into those very same daughters at the mall. Its implied theyre all about to couple up.

Its supposed to be a bittersweet, hopeful ending. In retrospect, its disturbing as hell.

4. Wear the same dres as her boyfriend: “Revenge of the Nerds”

If attempted date rape isnt strong enough for you, Revenge of the Nerds offers up actual rape as a substitute option.

Lewis, like so many cinematic awkward outcasts, yearns for a woman he cant have. Betty is the sexy( noticing a trend ?) girlfriend of Stan, the jock, and shed never give a guy like Lewis a chance.

So, he simply receives a loophole.

At a costume event, Lewis dons Stans costume and tricks Betty into having sexuality with him. She presumes shes sleeping with Stan and that hes keeping the costume on so they can enjoy a little role-playing.

After sex, she sees out it was actually Lewis she merely slept with. Rather than alerting the authorities, she praises his sexual performance.

According to Revenge of the Nerds, tricking someone into having sex with you isnt rape if youre good in bed.

5. Don’t take “no” for an answer: “Dead Poets Society”

Dead Poet Society is, in general, an uplifting cinema about a group of young men who, through the guidance of their beloved teacher, learn to live full lives and chase their dreams.

For the character of Knox, this entails chasing Chris, a girl who captures his heart by being extremely pretty.

Theres a problem, though: Chris already has a boyfriend.

This doesnt deter Knox one bit.

He tries kissing her at a party( despite the fact that shes, well, asleep ), but her boyfriend intervenes. He sneaks into her school and stalks her down the hallway. He stands in front of her class and recites a poem he wrote. He ignores all of her pleas to be left alone. All this, despite the fact that shes attained it abundantly clear, on numerous occasions, that shes involved with someone else and not interested.

In real life, this story would end with a restraining order. In Dead Poet Society, it ends with Chris agreeing to go on a date with Knox, realise the error of her styles and sending the message to spectators that obsessive perseverance is the key to a womans heart.

6. Wait until she’s sleeping: “Cabin Fever”

Eli Roths debut, like many other horror movies, tacks a romantic subplot on top of the carnage to get us emotionally invested in the characters.

In this case, the main male protagonist, Paul, has feelings for his lifelong friend, Karen. Shes been flirting with him and asks him to share a bed with her, needing somebody to convenience her after they accidentally killed a sick hobo.

( Its kind of a messed up movie .)

After Karen falls asleep, Paul does this.

Yes, thats a scene in which the hero of this horror movie transgresses his unconscious best friend like hes auditioning to be the scoundrel of another horror movie. But its OK, because, come on, he truly, really likes her.

7. Build a “deal” with her: “Its a Wonderful Life”

Yes, Its a Wonderful Life is a heartwarming classic, worthy of its annual praise.

But, lets be honest, there is one scene thats straight out of a slasher film.

It involves the characters of George and Mary enjoying a romantic evening stroll. Having fallen into a pool( long tale ), Mary doesnt have any clothes on aside from a robe. She loses it when George accidentally steps on it, and conceals behind a nearby shrub, asking him to hurl it over to her so she can be, you know , not naked in public.

George is about to do so, then guesses better of it, realise hes out in the middle of nowhere with a naked, beautiful girl. A naked, beautiful woman who cant get her clothes back unless he decides to give them to her.

Isnt this how most Law& Order: SVU episodes start?

While she implored for her robe, George dismisses her, holding his options. Mary says shell call the police, but George reminds her that the police arent nearby, and theyd take his side anyway, because, holy sh* t, this scene is dark.

He finally decides to make a deal with Mary but is interrupted when his uncle pulls up in a car and tells him that his fathers suffered a stroke. George hops in the car, leaves the robe by the bush and abandons Mary on a desolate road, never revealing a detailed description of the deal he schemed on making.

Not that it matters, because despite this experience, the next time Mary satisfies up with George, shes perfectly smitten with the charming scoundrel.

Now, Im not trying to argue that youre a bad guy if you enjoy these movies, or if you didnt pick up on these details right away. Most of these films are favorites of mine, and for a long time, I was blind to how creepy they can be when it comes to depicting sex, dating and romance.

But thats the point. These scenes should set off some alarms in a viewer. Anyone who has ever identified with a romantic subplot on their favorite sitcom knows we can sometimes stimulate the mistake of relying on fiction to guide our real-life behavior.

If, like me, youre a heterosexual man, that means you need to make sure you pay close attention to what youre watching when you watch movies about guys looking for love. Because if youre not careful, you can start to take those movies more seriously than they deserve.

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Blake Lively Would Send Leonardo DiCaprio The Weirdest Picture When They Were Dating!

Reminder:

Joshua Safran, the show’s executive producer, recollected Blake’s 2011 relationship with the -Alister when they were filming in Los Angeles. And he disclosed one very interesting tidbit:

“We learned a lot from Blake. When I think about shooting the L.A. episodes, Blake was dating[ DiCaprio] at the time, and she had this thing where she had a doll that she took photos of that she sent to Leo. Blake was way ahead of the curve. It was pre-Instagram. She was documenting their own lives in photograph in a way that people were not yet doing.”

A doll? That she took photos of? That she sent to Leo ??

Blake and Leo dated five months at the time, and we nearly have to wonder if this doll was to blame !! We kid, we kid!

But who knew ??

It wasn’t long after the newly-turned 30 -year-old met Ryan Reynolds, so it’s all history, but you can’t blame us for wondering.

You can find out more insider tidbits about Gossip Girl by checking out the full VF article HERE!

[ Image via Media Punch& Apega/ WENN .]

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4 Reasons Promoting A Pet Is The Perfect Way For Millennials To Devote Back

Fostering a pet is the best of both worlds. You get to love and spoil an animal in need, but with a fraction of the responsibility of owning your own pet.

Animal rescues and shelters all over the country have foster programs in need of more volunteers.

Fosters providetemporary homes foranimals includinginfant kittens, rambunctious puppies and 16 -year-old grumpy cats that need a vacation from shelter life.

While it is life-saving work, fostering also has some surprising perks

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Fostering offers the full benefits of having a pet without the life-long commitment.

You can cuddle with them at night, show them off to your friends and spoil them with treats and human food.And when their stint in the shelter is over, you get towatch them go home with their eternally family.

Sure, you are able sobbing every time you fell your foster pets off at an adoption event, but theres something special about knowing you were the person whotaught this animal which may have had a rough life in so far humans can be trusted.

Plus, as you chase after your foster puppy cleaning up collisions, you canlook at the silver lining. And that silver lining, for you, is that this chaos is temporary.

Theres something special about knowing you were the person who taught this animal humen can be trusted.

Fostering is like Tinder for potential pets.

The foster dog that fees your couch cushion feels oddly reminiscent of the Tinder guy whostood you up at ACL Festival in 2014.

OK, maybe not quite, but promoting does allow you to get to know all sorts of animal personalities so you can determine what will work long-term with your lifestyle.

Even if you arent planning to adopt eventually, promoting gives you the chance to have short-term matches with pets that are perfect for the various areas of your life.

One month, you might require a mellow, cuddly cat for a Netflix and Chill phase. The next month, you mightbe seeking an energetic buddy to accompany you on hikes as the weather cools off.

While Ive enjoyed my time with every foster animal Ive ever had, the various forms of personalities I have cared for taught mea thing or two about what I wanted in the dog I would someday adopt.

When I met that dog( foster pet number 27 ), I knew I required him as much as he required me.

When I satisfied that dog( foster pet number 27 ), I knew I required him as much as he needed me.

Fostering offerscompanionship without the cost and pressure.

At many shelters, food, toy and medical care are covered by the shelter. You can foster as frequently or infrequently as you would like, so if you have a vacation or busy day at work coming up, you can decline to take on a new foster.

Many shelters only send out email detonations to their foster networks when a foster is needed, and you answer if you are available.

For college students or young professionals, this is the perfect situation if you arent sure this is right commit to taking care of a pet foreverbecause of a often changing schedule.

One semester you may have the ability to come home and relax between every class. That could be the semester you can answer the call for puppies or bottle feed newborn kittens in need.

Or, if you are fresh out of college and running unpredictable hours at a new job, a pair of self-sufficient, elderly cats might be ideal.

Though you can promote again and again, each time is a once-in-a-lifetimeexperience.

From biding up all night to nurse a sick puppyback to health, to watching the joy of a family as they adopt your foster pet( from a safe distance because youre exclaiming like a jealous toddler watching someone play with their playthings ), promoting is a humbling and surprisingly profound experience.

On top of all the fun, the pee-pee, the cuddles and the puppy breath kisses, whenyou promote, you are both improving a life of the foster pet in your home andsaving the life of the animal taking its place in the shelter.

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8 Reasons Why People With Anxiety Are The Only Ones Worth Dating

Anxiety can be a real bitch thats just the cold hard truth. Between the irrational, fears, the panic attacks, and the overwhelming impression of being on the incorrect aim of a caffeine buzz at the worst days, living with nervousnes is very often zero fun. But like everything else in life, anxiety will shape and mold you into a truly one of a kind human being. And if youre thinking, Yeah, yeah, so what are the warning signs that should be attached to me prior to someone deciding to meet me for drinkings? youd be thinking incorrect. I think your anxiety builds you AWESOME. And not only awesome but, in turn, simply the most ideal, most dateable nominee .

1. You dont construct things a guessing game.

So the pacing, thumb tapping, and infuriating need-to-know-what-time-it-is may help at dedicating it away, but what youre thinking is plain as day 99.9% of the time. Honestly though? In oh-so-cool-as-a-cucumber-casual 2015, thats kind of a breath of fresh air. The fact that the other person can visibly tell that you are excited/ nervous to find them is charming. And because you are all about taking care of yourself and wont force-out yourself to stay in situations that are making you uncomfortable( Right? Right .) it builds being there for you all the easier. Theres none of that, Yeah, Im fine bullshit. Everything is out on the table and its fantastic.

2. Youre prepared for the worst and, therefore, anything and everything . Normal people might call you paranoid, or a doomsday jinx-er. But those people are the same ones who will be clawing at your JICOA2E 2( Just In Case Of Any And Every Emergency) pack the second that fault line near Seattle violates and youre sinking down fast! All joking aside, you have totally prepped for anything that could traverse your path because of having to always be on the “re ready for” yourself. And that may seem kooky, but really constructs you the best companion. 3. You know how to really be there for someone . After heaving and sobbing and altogether snotting someones sleeve up over something as seemingly simple as having to drive on the superhighway, you have learned how to be( and unfortunately, how to not to be) a stone. Yes, a boulder that may be prone to labored breathing in crowd, but a rock nonetheless. You know that at the end of the day, its all about BEING there. Its not inevitably about what you say, or about having Oprah level advice to produce, its about being where you are needed; no questions asked. And that is a place you are always prepared to be. 4. Its hard to freak you out . Sure. You may get palpitations at the idea of a stranger bringing a plus one to your birthday, the audio of a crying newborn, or even simply a phone convo with your administrator. But grand strategy of things? Youve insured and DONE crazier than anything anyone can ever hurl at you. So( To a certain extent. I genuinely dont want to be get behind the wheel for anyone unless absolutely necessary) bring it on. Youve definitely been weirder probably even today. 5. You are hyperaware of utterly everything going on around you . No one can ever accuse you of being oblivious. You know what your significant other is up to, what their dialogue with their friends is centering around, what the couple is bickering about at the next table over, how your waitress feels about the whole ordeal. Youre in it; youve got it. It induces you an excellent judge of the overall interests and, also, kind of an amazing source if anyone ever needs some t to spill. 6. You wear your heart on your sleeve . Lets face it. Youve spent so long trying to dampen, lessen, crush, and condense your emotions and for what? To eventually end up a panicky, sweaty, hot mess outside of a crowded bar because you tried to contain it? No. Not anymore. Now you say what you want, what you mean. You dont try to hide anything. Not the bad parts, and surely not the good parts. Your feelings are nothing to be ashamed of take it or leave it. 7. Your empathy tolerance in incredibly high . Like I said before, once your stress shouts end up on someones shoulder, it makes it pretty easy to tolerate things. You just get it. It doesnt matter if someone is being irrational or if their pain just doesnt make sense. You know that ultimately at the end of the day, what matters is that it constructs sense to THEM. That in that moment, that ache is theirs. And you will do whatever you can to be there for them and help minimize it as much you can.

8. Through thick and thin, you arent “re going away” . Living with nervousnes is a real bitch. Basically you have to learn how to live with two sides of yourself and, eventually, find a way to have those sides coexisting harmoniously. If you can tolerate and deal with every weird, neurotic, shaky, unreasonable, jumpy part of your own ego, you can enter into negotiations with someone elses. And be equally as accept and unapologetically loving about it.

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14 Women Share The Exact Moment They Knew Their Current Boyfriend Was Interested In Them

1 .

” He was sweet and caring and always wanted to hang out. I was actually naive and simply thought he was friendly, I denied that he was interested in me for months. One night he asked me to dinner and we had drinkings afterwards, we objective up kissing and then it went from there haha .”

2 .

” He was my best friend for years, but he was so cute that I supposed for sure he couldn’t be interested. we would go out one-on-one, he’d pay, I moved and it was him( not my “bf”) coming over again to help me put together my furniture. it was only when we began’ platonically’ snuggling( and eventually kissed) that I ultimately got it .”

3 .

” We were classmates in grad school and knew each other for close to a year before we started dating. During that time there was a lot of evidence

TAGEND We analyse together ALL the time. At parties, he’d spend a lot of day talking to me. He’d be physically affectionate, but not in a manner that is I procured off-putting. Whenever his roommates had assembles at his home he would always invite me. I subsequently found out I was the only person he personally invited to anything. He’s terrible with birthdays but texted me on mine. When I missed the second day of the semester for my grandfather’s funeral, he texted me to make sure everything was okay and then filled me in on what I missed. He cared about all the random narratives I would tell him about my family and friends even though he didn’t know them at all. My friend asked him if he liked me and he said yes. We still didn’t start dating for another three months.

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How Movies Fail To Teach Us What True Romance Is

When I was in secondary school, I wrote in my diary that I could not wait to get to high school.

I was excited toget to do things like await by my locker for my boyfriend and then stroll to class with him.

It wasnt until I actually got to high school that I realized observing a boyfriend was incredibly hard, and there was no way in hell I was awaiting around for someone else to walking me to class.

Thats mostly because I slept in and have to go to school right as the buzzer echo, but I also didnt( and still dont) have the patience to wait for someone.

If I did have a boyfriend, I would just fulfill him in class.

As I get older, I slowly have come to the realization that my ideas of romance were awfully ruined by what I watched in movies and TV shows.

My idea of what was romantic now seem awkward, embarrassing and if they were to actually happen in reality, horrific.

I have compiled a list of the five things Id like to apologize to myself for ever wanting in a relationship, all thanks to the movies

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1. A boy coming to my window unannounced.

I blame Lloyd Dobler for this one.

I spent countless nights in my room wishing to arbitrarily find my crush standing outside my window playing In Your Eyes on a boombox. Then, he would whisk me away on a romantic adventure.

Its only now that Im realise how terrifying it would be to just see a son standing outside my window out of nowhere.

I mean, having a second-story room adds a little more romance to the idea. But as a girl in a one-story home, I would dream so often of just seeing a son standing there.

The thought of that happening now is something out of a horror movie.

Imagine youre just in your room, and you consider a human standing there, watching you. Its not cool.

I lately had my landlord send over a guy to fix our roof, and my roommate forgot to inform us. Walking into my room to insure a human standing right there was the most terrifyingthing Ive ever seen.

I hid in the bathroom for an hour with a butter knife in my hands until my roommate finally told me it was OK.

Melissa Etheridge got it wrong. Please do not be submitted to my window.

Melissa Etheridge got it wrong. Please do not be submitted to my window.

2. Singing me a song.

I go back and forth on this one, but ultimately, I have decided that having my crush write and perform a anthem just for me would not be as romantic as I imagined.

Lets face it: We all think were better vocalists than we actually are. With my dumb luck, he will most likely not know how to sing.

And if he happens to be a good vocalist, where do I appear where reference is singing to me?

I feel uncomfortable when Im at a concert and dont know the ballad the band is playing. I wouldnt know this song.

Do I merely smile and stare into his eyes for however long the ballad is? What if I detest it?

Im one of those people that cant conceal my emotions. If I dislike it, its going to show.

Id rather only avoid the whole awkward situation.

3. Two guys opposing over me.

Honestly, I would love it if I had two gorgeous, wonderful guys opposing over me.

Imagine being Bridget Jones. At first, she had Colin Firth and Hugh Grant fighting over her. Yummy.

And now, she has Colin Firth and Patrick Dempsey. Yummy, yummy.

Ive always thought about how dreamy it would be to have two guys both wanting me, but candidly, think of the stress.

Oh god, I can barely handle picking out where I want to go for lunch. If I had to choose between two men, and I didnt know which one I liked more, I would be so stressed.

Also, this is real life. And in real life, lets face it: Youre likely settling for both.

If theres not one clear win, neither isworth your time.

If theres not one clear win, neither is worth your time.

4. A human to carry me.

I always thought it would be so dreamy to have a man carry me in his arms.

That is, until I realized the minute he lifted me off the ground, he would know how much I weigh.

Im a lot heavier than I seem, so I cannot imagine the embarrassment of having the man I love try and be romantic by lifting me in the air and immediately struggling.

Oh god, can you imagine? The minute he tries to adjust because Im tiring him, I would just hope he falls me right off a cliff so I would be lessmortified.

The idea is nice, but the execution is not happening.

5. One of us is dying.

This one is probably the most embarrassing to admit sinceIm pretty sure it stimulates me a monster but movies really made me want to be a in a relationship where 1 of us wasdying.

Nothing was more romantic than watching Landon Carter fall in love with Jamie Sullivan in A Walk To Remember, only to find out she was dying and then do everything he could to fulfill her bucket list.

I just wanted someone to be there for me and stick with me as I wasnearing the end of my life. Im a ogre!

I think when I was younger, I had visions of demise being dreamy before I actually dealt with anyone close to me dying.

But losing someone you love is literally the worst thing in the world. If it was my one true love who died, fuck that noise. I couldnt handle it.

I know, I know. My younger self was delusional AF when it came to romance. But I have grown!

So, please forgive me for ever supposing any of these things were romantic.

Movies actually messed me up, but now Im more well informed the real world and real expectations.

I would say the most romantic things for me now are when a guy knows not to look at me while Im feeing ramen like a pig, responds to texts in an appropriate sum of time and remembers to buy toilet paper before we run out.

Please only give me that dream human.

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Wife of nightclub shooter knew of deadly plans, source says | Fox News

The wife of the Orlando nightclub shooter knew of her husband’s deadly plans and did nothing to stop him, a federal law enforcement source confirmed to Fox News.

FBI agents have interviewed Omar Mateen’s wife, Noor Salman, in the working day since Sunday’s massacre that killed 49 and wounded 53 more. Mateen died in a shootout with police early Sunday morning. While Salman has been widely referred to as Mateen’s wife, the only proof of their marriage is her listing as his wife on a 2013 mortgage document and family members who said the two were married and had a 3-year-old son.

Salman told examiners that Mateen shared his plans with her to carry out an attack and Mateen may have even called her from the gay club Pulse during the slaughter, information sources told Fox News. Salman also confirmed details of Mateen’s gun purchases prior to the assault.

A separate source told Fox News that Salman was cooperating with investigators and had shared information about her husband’s violent aspirations. She had taken a polygraph, CBS reported.

Salman is likely to be arrested, a source told Fox News.

Mateen allegedly scouted an alternate locating for the shooting — Downtown Disney — in April and again in early June, CBS reported.

Meanwhile, the FBI is investigating reports that Mateen visited Pulse several times before the two attacks, a U.S. officer told The Associated Press on Tuesday. A law enforcement source told Fox News that Salman drove Mateen to Pulse on at least one prior occasion.

One man also said he acknowledged Mateen from an app used to arrange dates and hookups for gay men, adding a new layer of complexity to the investigation of the worst mass shooting in modern American history. The U.S. official said the FBI would look into that assert as well.

The Orlando Sentinel quoth four Pulse regulars who said they had watched the 29 -year-old Mateen there before.

“Sometimes he would go over in the corner and sit and beverage by himself, and other periods he would get so drunk he was loud and belligerent, ” said Ty Smith, who claimed to have seen the gunman at Pulse at least a dozen times.

“We didn’t truly talk to him a lot, but I remember him saying things about his father at times, ” Smith added. “He told us he had a spouse and child.”

Smith’s husband, Chris Callen, told the Canadian Press that Mateen had been to Pulse regularly for “at least three years.”

Jim Van Horn, 71, told the Associated Press he was a frequent patron at Pulse and said another “regular” there was Mateen.

“He was trying to pick up people. Men, ” Van Horn said late Monday outside the Parliament House, another gay club.

Van Horn said he met Mateen once. He said the younger man was telling him about his ex-wife.

“My friends came out from the back and said, ‘Let’s go take pictures on the terrace, ‘” Van Horn said. “So I left. And then they told me they didn’t want me talking to him, since they are thought he was a strange person.”

At around 1 a.m. Sunday, Kevin West was dropping a friend off at Pulse when he saw Mateen crossing the street. West told the Los Angeles Times Mateen had messaged him on and off for the past year use the homosexual chat and dating app Jack’d.

“He walked directly past me. I said, Hey, and he turned and said, Hey, ‘” West said. I could tell by the eyes.”

About an hour later, wielding an AR-1 5 semi-automatic rifle and a handgun, Mateen began a three-hour shooting rampage and captive siege that ended with a SWAT team killing him. During the attack, he called 911 to profess allegiance to the Islamic State( ISIS) group.

In contrast, the Wall Street Journal reported that Mateen had expressed anti-gay views that horrified his classmates at Indian River State College, where he received an associate’s degree in 2006. A person who worked at the school during that time said some students would try to “educate” Mateen on his views.

The Journal also reported that Mateen never discussed religion during class.

At Pulse, Smith and Callen told the Canadian Press they had decided to keep their distance from Mateen after an incident during which he pulled out a knife after taking offense to a joke told by one of the couple’s friends.

“He said if[ the friend] ever messed with him again, ” Callen said, “you know how it’ll turn out.”

Fox News’ Rick Leventhal and Matt Dean and The Associated Press contributed to this report .

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Look who’s stalking: the new breed of creepy male film results

Passengers has been sold as a love story, but for the sake of dramatic tension movies like it are often guilty of normalizing abuse

Ive long maintained a practice on long-haul flights of declining to chat with the people sitting next to me. Headphones on, face set in a frown: such is my fear of 10 airless hours trapped in dialogue with a stranger. But now Ive ensure Passengers, that predicament seems like a breeze compared to the plight of Aurora Lane( Jennifer Lawrence ): shes trapped for 90 years on board a spaceship with Jim Preston( Chris Pratt ), and hes the one who trapped her. Yes, it sounds like the elevator pitch for a horror movie, but this is a Christmas blockbuster: Passengers, curiously, is couched as a narrative about love.

In Hollywood, however, perhaps its not that surprising. A analyze published in the early part of this year indicated that women who watch movies that portray aggressive, persistent male behavior stalking, in other words are more amenable to similar behavior in the real world. In other words, for the sake of dramatic tension, cinema sometimes normalizes abuse, recasting it as romantic. Passengers is intended to be a grand romance, but its also a narrative of a man manipulating a woman and depriving her of her agency.

The film opens with Jims awakening. Hes on a ship bind for a fresh new planet with 5,000 other pod-bound hibernating colonialists. Theyre meant to sleep through the 120 -year journey, but a malfunction has caused Jim to wake after merely 30 years have elapsed. Like a fabulous sea cruiser, the ship offer all kinds of luxuries, but with everybody else fast asleep, its lonely. Jim has only the company of a kind android bartender and some space Roombas that suck up stray cereal. In day, isolation takes its toll. Jim starts to dress poorly, and grows a beard like a Williamsburg hipster. In a state of vodka-soaked desperation, Jim happens upon Auroras pod, and then he begins to wonder: does he have to be so alone? Jim was a mechanical technologist back on ground and hes read the instructions: he can wake her up.

Passengers: trailer for Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt sci-fi drama

This will ring true to anyone whos tried online dating: Jim is of the view that Auroras beautiful, and then immerses himself in her available digital repository to learn more about her before they meet. Aurora is like everyone from Brooklyn on OKCupid: shes a novelist, she likes coffee, perhaps she has some light daddy issues. Its enough to construct Jim believe hes fallen in love. And after much equivocation over the bar with the android he knows its not a very nice thing to wake her, but Jim rouses Aurora to join him for the next 89 years.

Lost in space: Sandra Bullock stalker free in Gravity. Photo: Moviestore/ REX

Sometimes what seems like the greatest love of all is really only the love of greatest proximity. Spoiler alert for anyone whos never seen a blockbuster movie about romance in space: Aurora and Jim fall in love, Aurora finds out that Jim has trapped her for life and is overcome with rage, Jim wins Aurora over again by demonstrating his mettle when they face some peril.

The film-makers do their work in the movies first act to build our empathy for Jim yes, marriage be lonely, too. But its hard to ignore that he has created a condition from which Aurora cannot escape, and in which she must become dependent upon him. How fortunate she is that he is classically handsome and kind; how different the film would be if he was played by, say, Christopher Walken. The cinema seems to want us to believe that Auroras impressions are as uncomplicated as possible, but shes showing signs of Stockholm syndrome, remarking in a voiceover about how they would have never gotten together if he wasnt, you know, essentially the last man alive.

Then again, what else could motivate her? I hope you meet person, says her best friend on Earth in an earnest parting message for what more could a young and beautiful woman wish for on an intergalactic escapade? Jim is a variety of the archetypal Nice Guy: hell do anything for Aurora, so should she really be so mad that he ruined their own lives by waking her early? Its a slaying! she bellows, but shes silenced in time: Jim performs bravery and Aurora realizes that she shouldnt have been so ungrateful. He is, it turns out, her everything; hes built it so.

Years ago, after sobbing with dread through a screening of Gravity, I turned to my companion and asked: Why doesnt anyone ever make a movie where people go to space, have a nice time, and then get home safely? The answer of course is that it would be a boring movie. I can forgive Passenger to some extent because no one wants to see a film about two people coming together on equal terms, demonstrating mutual kindness and respect and having a nice period. Aurora says she embarked on the space journey because she was seeking material for her write. There are no good love tales without conflict. But outside the movies, love may sometimes be better without good stories.

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