writinginmysleep

[writinginmysleep]

Today I learned that if my work friend says a drink tastes like a candle, I'd best believe him. #whyredbull #ahthetasteofcaffinatedcandlewaxinthemorning https://www.instagram.com/p/ByJOQdqASGU/?igshid=103w0t3a0gegr

#whyredbull #ahthetasteofcaffinatedcandlewaxinthemorning

[writinginmysleep]

That one plot problem I'm ignoring

[writinginmysleep]

Being hit with the solution to a plot hole

[writinginmysleep]

How you envision your villain to be when you start writing:

How they seem to be when you reread what you just wrote:

[writinginmysleep]

do you ever start writing and just

[writinginmysleep]

Having to find new names for your characters:

[writinginmysleep]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR WHEN:

1) You kill everyone’s favorite characters. Even your own, and rationalize that it had to be done to keep the story going.

2) You’re just a little insane. Even if it’s just a little. Because being normal is boring.

3)You go People Watching. You think I’m joking. I’m not.

4) You have conversations with your characters out loud, and people think you’re insane. But you already know that you are(refer to #2), so it doesn’t concern you.

5) You’re up at unholy hours, writing while everyone else is asleep. It might end up sounding like nonsense when you look at it again later on.

6) You get a little defensive when someone criticizes your work

[writinginmysleep]

English Professor: Hey, by the way, three essays are due this weekend. Sorry about that

[writinginmysleep]

When you're writing a book but still can't decide exactly how the plot's gonna work out:

[writinginmysleep]

My hobbies include reading, writing, and doing neither of those things.

[writinginmysleep]

Marshmallow tacos

[writinginmysleep]

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

[writinginmysleep]

[writinginmysleep]

“Call Me Maybe” with every other beat removed

[writinginmysleep]

Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60. 

My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.

I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.

He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.

[writinginmysleep]

in a constant state of ‘how dare you assume i know what i’m doing’ but also ‘don’t you dare question me or what i’m doing’   

[writinginmysleep]

why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you