xtralargealison

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Oh look someone drew a cartoon about me

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it’s called homoeroticism. try it sometime.

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id love for someone to please explain to me how i ended up terrified of any kind of intimacy while craving it constantly all at the same time

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5 little words to bring your partner to their knees…

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tbh as weird as Riverdale is no scene will ever be weirder than Archie and Veronica singing “All Around Me Are Familiar Faces” while Betty pole dances and strips in order to join a biker gang.

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me dissociating while waiting for my mom to pay on the register 

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This Twitter account (@MaleOnline1) is posting papped pics of male celebs and writing the kinds of descriptions normally reserved for women. And it’s glorious.

https://twitter.com/MaleOnline1

[xtralargealison]

The Saga of Me Trying to Make Goddamn Tiramisu for My Roommate's Birthday

- wake up

- 9:42 am

- drink coffee, attempt to set up new printer

- realize I'm missing a cord

- decide to ignore that for now and do dishes

- make list of ingredients I don't have and need to get

- fucking lady fingers

- go to grocery store across the street

- spend forty minutes looking for lady fingers

- give up, buy every other ingredient, leave

- they have fucking chocolate croissants and naan bread but no lady fingers okay

- go across street to buy party supplies

- no lady fingers (not that I expected them to but still)

- walk 15 minutes to the Eagle Giant, which advertises lady fingers on their website

- no lady fingers

- start my period in eagle giant, buy tylenol

- get in line behind a woman buying 37 INDIVIDUAL MINI CORNBREADS

- cashier has to scan them all individually

- I am bleeding from my lady bits and in pain but ok enjoy your mini cornbread lady

- who needs that much cornbread

- and why mini

- get the big ones

- buy coffee

- down four Tylenol in eagle giant parking lot

- walk 20 minutes to aldi

- no lady fingers

- call a lyft in the aldi parking lot

- go to martwal

- no lady fingers

- decide in middle of store that I'm just gonna bake the fucking things myself

- it is now 3:40 pm

- need to buy flour sifter and also piping bags

- remember halfway to checkout I need that cord for my printer

- go back to electronics

- poor man is helping a whiny lady who doesn't want a black phone cord

- nearly beat woman with flour sifter

- get cord with no hassle

- call lyft to go home

- is now raining

- did not buy piping bags, decide to just fuck it and pour by hand

- make tiramisu

- get cocoa powder in my eyebrows

- realize i cant leave it in fridge bc roommate will see it

- frantically text downstairs neighbor and ask if I can keep it in his fridge

- "yeah OK"

- halfway downstairs

- fuck I didn't cover it

- oh well

- put in neighbors fridge

- spend an hour playing with cats

- will update on taste later

- fucking 37 mini cornbreads what the fuck

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the foundation of wlw and mlm solidarity is the looks we give each other when straight ppl are talking about Straight People Stuff

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wild how like PCOS, endometriosis, vaginismus & hell, even frequent yeast infections are “mysterious” with no well known cause and little to no decent treatment, but we have tons of supposedly well researched body fat removal methods, about 20 different kinds of breast implants, laser hair removal, and 100 different dermatologist recommended anti aging creams. we sure had the money and brainpower to cure those “diseases”

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If you’re a man putting on his first binder, tux, button-up

If you’re a woman putting on her first gaff, skirt, bra

If you’re nonbinary and putting on that certain thing you could never wear as a “cis person”

If you’re trans in any way and taking your very first steps toward presenting as your true gender

I am so incredibly proud of you.

[xtralargealison]