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Zachary Levi Michael Muller | Entertainment Weekly (2013)

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last night I heard my mom telling my dad, “I have two children, stop being the third”.

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Uh oh.

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Out of context gifs from old children’s tv shows really are the best. 

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So my mom likes to dictate her texts instead of typing them.

The thing is, my mom swears a lot, and she’s often at home with my impressionable little brothers. So she programmed her phone to type “bitch” whenever she said “B” and “f**k” whenever she said “F.” For a while, we all thought this was a pretty clever idea. Yesterday, she sent me a picture of my brother sitting in his car seat and crying. The caption was, “he got stung by a bumblebitch!!! ”

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me,swimming:wow this is amazing i love the ocean

me, when seaweed touches my foot: I imagine death so much it feels more like memory

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Reblog this if you need a small loan of $1,000,000 😉

Yes please

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when the gym teacher tells you to stop picking the grass

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heart: randomly starts beating faster me: what is it what do you see

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Hey, Barry can you add a smiling burger floating gently from right to left?

Thank you Barry.