youareallblue

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i don't want to sound like a whore, but i'd really like to know how you feel and how your day was

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you're in her dms

our souls have been tied for centuries

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Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

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Caricature of Louis XIV, the "Sun King," de Louis Le Grand, 1691 (mezzotint) (b/w photo), Dusart, Cornelis & Gole, Jacob (1660–1737).

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the color of forgiveness

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9 Cows - Joe O’Donnell Acrylic Paint and Varnish on Wood

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Mary Oliver, from “There you were, and it was like spring”, Red Bird

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Happy birthday n_n

Me sentí horrible "ayer" (hoy a las 00:02) por mandarte ese mensaje, pero al mismo tiempo estaba en pánico de las consecuencias de no mandarlo... y también de las consecuencias de mandarlo. Ugh. Al final terminé haciéndolo.

Te he felicitado en tu cumpleaños cada año, creo, desde hace mucho tiempo: ¿qué tal si I come across as hacerme la digna por rechazar los regalos o por no recibir respuesta o algo así?, ¿qué tal si I come across as wanting to play the hot-and-cold bullshit thing y se siente como que no te felicité a propósito para provocarte cualquier reacción, mostly a negative one?, ¿qué tal si lo esperabas and I made you feel sad, even if it's a little, sin importar que ambas supiéramos que no podías responder de ninguna manera?, ¿qué tal si I come across as having given up or having stopped loving you or something of the sort?

Pero, ¿qué tal si felicitarte es la gota que derramó el vaso y termina por hartarte?, ¿qué tal si you were already feeling great and have had days without feeling the burden of thinking of us, and the birthday text(s) only came to ruin the good strike?; because, let's face it, this is harassment, very strictly speaking.

Y ¿qué tal si piensas que de pronto un día amanecí y decidí que ya no te amo porque no te felicito en algún cumpleaños or I don't Christmas and New Year's text you, and that discourages you from reaching out because you think you won't be welcome?

It's a nightmare xd

Anyway. In order to cover the majority of all the possibilities, I've changed the name of this blog to one that's familiar to you. Y así I'll be conveying that I still love you and that you are welcome with me sin caer en el vil harassment o cyber-hovering, a tu tiempo, y porque lo quieres, and not because I disturb your peace and distance shoving messages on to you.

With that being said, you'll love your presents c: I'll keep them safe with me until the very damn day I die — but you already knew that. Perhaps one day you'll have them, or maybe I finally broke your trust and love permanently and you'll never get to even know what they were; but I will be ready if you ever want them, and so will they, waiting for you.

~

I look in the mirror and I see my skin has changed. My eyes, my hair. And I immediately think of how gorgeous aging suits you now.

I believe I've said this some other time before, but I've always been dying to see you as a señora and then as a viejita. What you'll do with the passing of time — the way you'll turn the years into ornaments of the most delicate kind. The way you might be doing just that as of now. What a sight.

You are the love of my life. And you know that, don't you? Whatever happens, whatever won't, and even if it does, no thing can change that fact.

I think of you ever waking hour. I sing at least one song every single day on your name, thinking of you, hoping the sound waves travel fast and smoothly enough to leak into your heart, amidst all the traffic noise and all the chaos — just to kiss your soul, gently, softly... two cities apart, pero sin falta.

I pray for the best when it comes to you, for you and your loved ones, and all you treasure and care for. Even more so on the most beautiful day each year has to offer: every last day of April.

Yours truly, Miss A.

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Margaret Atwood, from True Stories: Poems; "Postcard," originally published in 1981

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Splendor Solis - Attributed to Salomon Trismosin, c.1582.

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Jeanette Winterson, from 'Written on the Body'

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Mary Oliver, from “Summer Morning.” [ID in alt text]

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