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Durge: You know.... I hear two heads are better than one...

Astarion: If I turn round after picking this lock and you're holding up another severed head i'm leaving you.

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Loki + tumblr [163/?], suggested by @whoreslut-supreme

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prodigal son enjoyer ik thats taste that show deserved better

That show had so much potential bc it read us all to filth like: Are we doomed to become our parents? How much are we shaped from our childhood? Can people really change? What are the worst things we are capable of? What would it take for us to snap? Do you really know the people you love most? Do they really know you? What are your deepest fears that you let control your life? What are your unbidden desires? If you can't trust your family who can you trust? If you can't bleed for you family who can you bleed for? You thought this was a maze but it's a cage, sorry; no matter where you go or how far you run you will always be in your family's house.

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if magneto knew what the internet was then he would post to r/aita as often as possible and all his posts would be the top posts of the year. thats the kind of drama hes going through. he also gets permabanned from r/mutants for advocating violence

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real knives real glass real bees real choking im going fucking insane. every time i think about it all i go insane. how did they survive the show

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if i was bella and edward was pissing me off i'd simply create a close friends list on instagram that consisted solely of him, google image search "palace interior, volterra" save whichever's the fanciest, edit the text "dinner with the volturi. thank you for the invitation" over the top, click post and then turn off my phone

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#please don't take him just because you can :(

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Carlisle’s passionate plea to the Volturi circa 1720

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Astarion: Gods below, what is Gale cooking this time? I can smell the disappointing odor of melancholy and nutmeg from here.

Gale: *From across the camp.* YOU AREN'T GOING TO EAT ANY OF IT, ANYWAY!

Lae'zel: His food does lack daring and confidence. Perhaps some spices could salvage it, but I am not optimistic.

Astarion: Well, what do you expect from a man whose diet consists of moldy trinkets and old boots.

Gale: *From across the camp.* YOU KNOW I DON'T ACTUALLY EAT THEM!

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Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.

But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.

And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.

And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.

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Rosalie, looking at Emmett for the first time: I could fix him

Emmett, bleeding to death:

Rosalie: Carlisle could fix him

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YOU hate JK Rowling!

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Hmm. How unusual

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furious that i am not a playable character in this game

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The Crow Road

I did in fact read The Crow Road because of Good Omens and it was very meandering with a lot of character study. For a thing summarized as "trying to solve a mystery from papers left behind" it was very uninterested in doing so. It didn't even introduce them for first 100 pages, then didn't refer to them for another 100, then LOST THEM ON THE TRAIN. The book itself is mostly a distraction from solving actual mystery. In no way would I classify this as being Mystery, as in the genre. This is a family saga/coming of age thing. I did enjoy it, but if you're expecting a genre fiction thing, you will hate it.

ANYWAY.

Then we get to the last 20 pages or so of the book and OH MY FUCKING GOD

the rest of this is going under a cut for anyone who actually wants to read The Crow Road themself, but for everyone else, this is directly relevant to the end of season 2, episode 6 AND is NSFW

Toward end of book, MC Prentice figures out "oh, maybe I am actually in love with my best friend, Ash, I should tell here". Oh shit, she's taking a job and moving to Canada! FUCK. Well telling her now is not gonna do anything good here, I blew it.

Ash meanwhile comes to stay with him in his rented place before having to fly out in the morning. The place is tied up in an estate dispute. It has an enormous four poster bed in a room covered in naked paintings of Venus. And mirrors. Pointed at the bed.

They go out for dinner and have a conversation of who owes who for dinner and decide its neither. They walk around a little bit reminiscing about when they were in school. Prentice had once broken her nose with a snowball and thought she didn't know. She says she forgave him right away. It also turns out she knew he was using morse code to tap out rude things at their French teacher.

They get back to the house and she says she's going to turn in early. Goes to give him a kiss on cheek. WHich then turns into kissing. and grabbing ass. They head to the bedroom of Fucking to do just that.

have a couple round and then while tangled up doing effectively some cockwarming, Ash does a little rhymic squeezing via morse code to spell out I-L-U and he does some cock moving to spell out I-L-U-T she still gets up in morning to leave, tehre's that brief, but what if I convince you to stay??? and they basically both agree "no, this is a breakup for work." Ash goes off to do her work contract, Prentice is going to finish his degree and sell the Bentley he just inherited. The split is not forever.

I did not have love confession via morse code while fucking on my bingo card AT ALL.

But good god, that ending there and the kiss there at the end of season2. OH RIGHT, THEY BOTH HAVE DONE SPY STUFF!!! What the fuck are Aziraphale's hands doing? are they frenching with morse code? IF THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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"I stopped having my weird fan obsessions when I got medicated" skill issue