ziclovs

[ziclovs]

ROBERT PATTINSON via @Dior (January 19, 2023)

#/ Z /. #stubblecore

[ziclovs]

jinmeixu​:

“ something like that! ”  it was fun up until she wouldn’t stop grinding her teeth or when her eyes wouldn’t stop moving out of her control.  “ that sounds so nice!  i should have done the same.  there was a lot of chaos after the fireworks. ”  she laughs.  “ if you don’t mind,  then yes! ”  the awkwardness disappears and it’s as if they hadn’t been avoiding each other.  it all seems so silly now.  “ i frequently go to the flower shop across the street and the shop owner recommended it to me as well as a few other places!  i could share the list if it interests you!  how did you find out about it? ” 

❛   i had a lot to drink, i doubt i would have enjoyed it,  ❜   a thoughtless statement before he remembers to pin his lips. it had been the vodka shots. too many vodka shots. the bubbly after that was simply asking for trouble. who knows what they would have done if anya hadn’t had to catch a flight — what else she would have let him do ?    ❛   excellent.  ❜   this should be fine, she could easily have made an excuse about errands or the such, skittered away, it isn’t exactly a place most in the program would enjoy spending time in, the seats are comfortable, but still lacking the frills of provided service. he pulls one of them out for her from the corner table.  ❛   thank you, i am not sure how much time i’ll have to explore though. my assistant found them on an app... local recommendations. his generation amazes me sometimes.  ❜   amusement escapes in a huff at the start of a narrow curl of his lips before his tongue folds them inward to the edges of his front teeth.  ❛   what will you have ? coffee ? herbal tea ?   ❜

#jinmeixu #meixu.

[ziclovs]

jinmeixu​:

“ ah,  yes!  i’ve been well — sort of. ”  she scrunches up her face.  “ i think i’m still recovering from new year’s eve! ”  she laughs.  now was neither the time or the place to bring up how she had been drugged.  they haven’t talked in so long,  she would be oversharing.  “ did you have a good time at the party? ”

he hadn’t wished to burden her with his presence, the moves he and wiebke have been making have come at a cost, meixu should not have to answer for the association.   ❛   ah, you had fun it sounds like ?  ❜  he fiddles with his ear, shy at the very mention, mind flitting to what had happened after the snacks, the vodka and the champagne after the fireworks on the roof.  ❛   i viewed the fireworks from upstairs... they were very nice.  ❜   he hadn’t spent much time looking at them.  ❛   i was just about to sit down, i’m very early for my appointment. would you like to join me ?  how did you find out about this place ?  ❜

#jinmeixu #meixu.

[ziclovs]

jinmeixu​:

she only half-listens to the conversation in front of her.  she’s too busy reading the live updates from fumiko on her phone to be made aware of who she was eavesdropping on until she’s acknowledged.  “ oh! ”  she smiles brightly,  trying not to be appear too awkward.  “ kaspar! ”  is all she manages to say. 

hand raises to push his hair out of the side of his face. oddly enough, he is thankful it has grown, it is a soothing feeling.  ❛   your high—  ❜  his skin tinges pink, only lightly this time, a soft laugh interrupting the trail of his lips.  ❛   old habits... meixu. hello. i haven’t seen more than glimpses of you since the dutch wedding. you are keeping well ?   ❜

#jinmeixu #meixu.

[ziclovs]

aurcls​:

2nd jan​

it was unfair ! completely unfair. he had done nothing wrong. it wasn’t his fault his inner circle was made of idiots. “ what confidence ? they haven’t even talked to me. ” how was he going to ‘prove’ himself to people he didn’t regularly interact with ? “ how did they even hear about the new year’s party ? ” aurel asked, narrowing his eyes. it sounded a lot like kaspar was just happy to finally have a proper reason to freeze him out. 

❛   one of them was there. the catalonian saw your displays, the first one might have been an accident, the second one, too much to ignore. no one needs to talk to you to have expectations, you are a prince, they come for free. redemption however, does not.  ❜   it is annoying, worth resenting even, that aurel needs to be spoonfed his next steps.   ❛   i cannot vouch for you if the only thing you do is sit here and complain. accept responsibility, make sure your friends fall in line. give people something good to say about you so that all this is forgotten, you’ll earn your place in the next basel business meeting with his majesty and his grace without either of them expressing concern. you need that win aurel. think carefully about it.  ❜   he looks at wiebke,   ❛  we are already about to break even in the region, in q1 we pursue returns... quadruple.  ❜   it is good news, but a drop in the bucket for them, for the catalonian’s coffers it is more significant.   ❛  people are starting to pay attention, might be good for you to sit in on this one.  ❜  in due course the gains they are making would be too valuable to relinquish. they will be discussing the socioeconomic solutions earlier than expected at this rate.   /.  @wicbkc​

#nobody breaks even so fast but #with the world's richest man #i can dream #wicbkc #wiebke. #aurcls #aurel.

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

27 december 2022: brühl

“ guilty for what? ” she does not comprehend. “ not telling him about this specific instance? he knows i am disappointed, i have not hidden my anger. and we are both aware that he prioritises anneli. ”

❛   no, what i mean is, the way you told me just now. about feeling you need to fight for him or else. about him putting that on you and it not being fair, about being tired of climbing his walls,  ❜  he shifts his arms from around her so greys can look into blues.  ❛   if he reached for you, would you… not want to be the one to ruin it again ? with all this ? would the act itself not feel like you are meeting something sweet with something bitter — a disproportionate response, so you’d end up, watering it down ? it becomes a cycle that way. you wouldn’t let go.  ❜  and she would need to let it go, to have any peace, to move forward with her own goals.

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

27 december 2022: brühl

fingers twist in his shirt instead of wringing together. she inhales deep, releasing through her nose with a shudder, jittery movement clicking parts of her back into place. her voice reverberates more evenly now.  “ i think. it is his turn to reach for me. ”

his arms wrap her closer still, transferring his warmth to her faint trembling so it may dissolve beneath his skin instead. a furrow appears between his brows.  ❛   you’re feeling wronged. let down. angry. if he did, would you still be able to express all these things ?  you would not feel guilty ?  ❜

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

27 december 2022: brühl

plush of her lip presses against the cup’s rim. she stares into the dregs first, willing muscles to remain still, at least, rather than stiffening. the drink she takes is slow, each swallow counted. three…two…one…

“ – he tried to retract when i reacted. minimize the impact. ” but hadn’t denied. hands lowered, she looks into greys. “ it didn’t seem like something i would have to explain. an–d. i am so very tired. of trying to– climb his walls. ”

❛   you shouldn’t have to.  ❜    gently, he lifts the cup out of her hands and pulls her close.   ❛   i’m so sorry.  ❜   sorry that the czar likely didn’t know the damage this was wreaking on her, that he had done it on purpose is too vexing to consider, so he doesn’t speculate.   ❛   perhaps then he wouldn’t have heard you. he might this time. might be more capable of being receptive. ❜  

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

27 december 2022: brühl

he’d asked her once before beneath canadian stars and trees. her answer had been honest then.

“ i don’t think it will happen again. not like that. ” they would not be caught by surprise twice. “ i worry that… ” that it had been nothingness lyosha had felt, more comforting than reality. some silent fear was snaking through the gaps between ribs, coiling tight. “ that if we are not fighting for him – if i am not – then he’ll just. slip away. he said as much once, without anneli – ” a slow march to death. anxiety slips into the dressings of anger: white knuckles gripping her cup too hard, jaw setting with the click of teeth against teeth, features contorting. how dare him. had he told anyone else? or had she, as always, been picked as the one who could bear this burden of the czar’s. put his life in her hands as if it wasn’t a snap decision between him alive or him– she had done as asked, again and again and…

the massage pauses. his are the hands that probe her, teasing out her relief, but she is the one pressing her finger into well-covered, unhealed wounds that he hadn’t even known were there.

this isn’t a story problem, where he can pick it apart, gut it, lay the pieces bare, identify factors, probabilities and outcomes. he cannot fix this for her. he does not even know the right thing to say.

he parses her words carefully as his hands slowly renew their work again. she had expressed how she had compromised herself to fall in line for this wedding. had this been how the czar had done it ?  ensured her cooperation with one single comment that has clearly cut her deep. a hybrid of guilt and blame delivered in the pretext of vulnerability. perhaps he had seen it as a plea.

❛  he is married to her now. ❜  he crouches by her so she can see his face. ❛  have you told him this ?  ❜  or has there simply never been enough opportunity ? anya’s transparency seems to happen only at night, when her bones are relaxed, in the deep quiet.

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

27 december 2022: brühl

“ out of nowhere it seemed. i look once and he is upright, talking to lenya, and the next – ” an unexpected shift in the crowd skyline during her surveillance, a conspicuous space where he had been. “ we couldn’t make sense of it. i don’t think he remembers much of the aftermath. only the recovery. they explained it happens that way sometimes to protect the psyche. his memories of the experience could be fear, comfort, nothingness.  ” he hadn’t had to grapple with the considerations of a world without him in it, wrestle it into something manageable so they could keep moving. he had been protected by medical instruments, a rotating team of skilled practitioners, more guards around his quarters, increased security measures, every wall of their kremlins, and four romanovs.

“ it frightened me. we are not well-liked, we have grown up aware of this. ” the threat was supposed to have been negligible, nothing compared to austria. applying her pressure on the doctors often felt better than fixating on the varying expressions of anticipation on people’s faces. the horrid wait. shoulder blade slides with the uneasy recollection of a time still embedded in her tendons and she takes a bracing sip.

his quiet drags and his hands take on a more insistent quality, as if he is becoming more aware of the feel of her under his fingers, using the flats of his palms to press into her flesh. they are all just organism, patchwork of bone, muscle, blood, water and organs. hearts don’t somehow look different, unhomed from their bodies and yet, this one, hers, remains so undeniably important to him that he finds himself trying to tune into her feelings. as if he’s fiddling with a radio in himself, trying to chase her through the static to find the exact right frequency.

loss is an experience he’d like to think he knows well, but he cannot quite put himself in her shoes. he doesn’t want to consider it. it would prove too violent to his own peace of mind. an unnecessary houseguest to his feelings. but this idea itself lends some clarity to the brute instability she hides. he doesn’t notice it often, and when he does he only ever catches a brief edge, glimpses an outline through all the noise.   ❛  what else are you afraid of ?  ❜

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

❛   you bake this chocolate bread fresh everyday ?  ❜   it smells incredible. he is at granier, a humble hole in the wall bakery with rave reviews, early for his appointment. he had chosen it so his company and himself could be at ease, slump back in their chairs, catch up properly. his priorities will be for the savoury pastries, but perhaps he will pick up the bread before he heads back to the suite.   ❛   do you use much sugar ?   ❜   he is blocking the way of a customer, he should move, be more gracious,   ❛   ah, perdón.   ❜    /.  @jinmeixu​

#jinmeixu #meixu.

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

27 december 2022: brühl

her nose is twitching from the lavender she can smell on herself, soaking hadn’t untightened the muscles of her neck. she’d kneaded the cord above her shoulder, weight of her skull hefted on a thumb. this time, she’d asked him for tea, something with chamomile, a trust that if he thought there was more she would benefit from, she would allow.

his knuckles are digging pressure into the knots she cannot seem to keep at bay, steam rising against her skin. “ i keep thinking about lyosha. three years ago at this time, irinka was fretting about the new year’s eve arrangements. ” ( @ziclovs​ )

he had asked for some crushed berries and a little lemon and honey to be added to the chamomile, his only regret is that he hadn’t prepared the drink himself. but having matron prepare this personally would be the next best thing. next best for anya, best perhaps, in every perspective.

he wonders what his hands provide against her muscles. do they reform something, hone a mould, redirect the energy that bothers her, or does he bend it out of shape, deconstruct it completely ?   ❛   the one she hosted.  ❜    he is familiar with the story now. russians host extravagant new year’s eve affair, it is an impressive display, until the czar is seizing, frothing at the mouth in the middle of the ballroom next to his pregnant cousin, the belarusian queen. the same one who had moved on so quickly after her previous husband had died. her previous husband, the original monegasque heir.

palms spread, renewing his efforts, thumbs digging into pressure points.  ❛  that must have felt terrible for you to go through. ❜

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

2nd jan

❛   you will sit this meeting out.  ❜   aurel’s role in it had just been to watch, absorb and understand. a fly on the wall, but even this would prove distracting if he would cause accidents, or worse, if gossip reached younghoon’s ears. the south koreans are not exactly discreet, if mimi’s friend is anything to set store by. his eyes travel to meet wiebke’s, significantly. she will read his disappointment mingled with irritation that he doesn’t allow into the tone of his voice.  ❛   you were requested to be removed, you should work on earning the stakeholders’ confidence back, there are consequences for these things. you will read the minutes instead, see what you understand from them afterwards.  ❜ he and wiebke might have agreed to pull aurel along on training wheels, but others are under no such obligation.  /.   @aurcls​ ,  @wicbkc​

#aurcls #wicbkc #aurel. #wiebke. #this can be short #i have faith in us

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

his lips press against a smile first – he did not respond to her tease! – before she responds properly. “ i did. reminded me of reykjavik. ” and a little of amsterdam. and in some ways, monaco. like then, her flight would be waiting after midnight.

grin dissolves into laughter as he pulls item after item from his bag, a magician with a hat of tricks. so prepared. “ i didn’t expect you to wait so long. ” still, her gaze is greedy when she nods for him to pour, fingers eager to open the snacks. “ the rating likely depends more on me, doesn’t it? to complete the experience. ”

❛   i see, you did this on purpose,  ❜   yes, he is cavorting with a bully, a sadist, a menace. confirmed.  ❛   just to leave after midnight. hm.   ❜

he pours out their shots,    ❛   but there is only one person i wanted to do this with. good things come to people who wait, that’s how the saying goes, no ?   ❜  he passes her one of the glasses before clinking his against it.  ❛  to admiring views on cliffs together and not jumping.  ❜  not letting the other jump.

#aromancva #anya.

[ziclovs]

alexcnder​:

            THE WOMEN, but he didn’t vocalize that unnecessary detail to kaspar. “ yes coach, ” he teased the other for the football-like advice passed onto him. “ depends on what side of the internet your own with the imposed goat title. ” there was hardly any indifference for messi, just love or hate. alexander reached up to pat the other on the back of his shoulder. “ no such thing as getting drunk enough tonight. ” and rightfully so. a b-line was made towards the nearest waiter with a drink before his lips pursed, just enough to give the champagne a second thought. “ let’s give the kiddy drinks a break, ” and search for something stronger had been the unspoken addition as he craned his neck in an attempt to find the nearest open bar. “ the croÿ’s were looking a bit lonely, so i thought i’d stop by. play guinea pig for awhile until my brother gets here. ”

 ❛  ah i will be pro-messi. i cannot help it. feels like a good send-off, i am hoping he retires well after this. i hear he says he will keep playing, i don’t know if 2026 will be a good idea for him.   ❜  kaspar has to pace himself, he’ll have to be careful to nurse each drink for as long as possible, but he orders a whiskey for himself  ❛  a shame with that danube business, i thought fanni croŷ would get somewhere with her project. ah he is definitely coming then ?  ❜

#alexcnder #alexander.

[ziclovs]

svrgic​:

     -’ IF WHAT the princess said is in fact true, his next few days won’t be the best time of his life. ’ even if the prince had little to no feelings for the girl, getting broken up with like that isn’t something one bounces back from the next day. there’s some punches to the ego and bruised pride to deal with. sergi almost felt bad. ‘ i’m sure i’ve watched the intern crying over heartbreak during boss’ business meeting scene in some comedy before. ’ and it was funny to say the future king of germany was the intern and kaspar his boss.

as much as he would rather not laugh at the prince’s expense in public, his amusement shows over the rim of his glass. he has to pause for his quiet chuckle before taking another sip.   ❛   you don’t have to convince me, your concern is noted, but it sounds like you’re speaking from experience. your pride has been destroyed publicly by a girl before ?  ❜  sergi might have been joking, but if his words had ended up ringing true there would be no match to kaspar’s existential horror.

#svrgic #sergi

[ziclovs]

aromancva​:

“ by some metrics. ” enough metrics to at least soothe away the worry knotted in her spine, along the vertebrae. like something had been locked. her calculated appraisal of his form end with blues meeting grays.

“ i like your suit. who picked it? ” there’s champagne in an ice bucket, and two flutes. “ i thought it would be nice. we can still hear the music from here. ”

it is nice; he takes advantage of the nicest part, their preferred greeting, slow and deep.   ❛   who picked this dress ?   ❜   is it a dress ?  a two-piece ? 

❛   champagne will have to wait because i,    ❜   he pulls out the bottle of vodka from the bag he’d brought, the same one she’d gifted him a year ago with very specific instructions,  ❛   think it’s high time i opened this. one trip around the sun together, we’re celebrating with,   ❜  he pulls out the salty savoury snacks, brought from home, some honey malt candy, soda water and lime wedges, just in case, and the shot glasses to finish the set with a flourish,  ❛   our own private party. do i get a good rating ?   ❜

#aromancva #anya.