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666deaddash999 · 21 days
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ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
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YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
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NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
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NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
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GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
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666deaddash999 · 1 month
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Usopp doesn't deserve this
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666deaddash999 · 1 month
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you know how sometimes you don’t initially read a comic panel the way the author intended?
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well.
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also, free nightmares
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666deaddash999 · 1 month
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you know how sometimes you don’t initially read a comic panel the way the author intended?
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well.
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also, free nightmares
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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Terminal Hanaki? Boring. Chronic Hanahaki? Exciting.
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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Jason Todd but he actually looks like he got beat almost to death and then exploded.
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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Red Hood & Arkham Knight
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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it's your girl little miss Turn An Inch Into A Mile.
winged Jason for that brainrot
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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still thinking about "decolonising" missionary work.
the way you decolonise missionary work is by not doing missionary work
the way you decolonise missionaries is like this:
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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it's your girl little miss Turn An Inch Into A Mile.
winged Jason for that brainrot
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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I just had a fever dream about Jason so y'all gonna have to suffer through me ranting about it buckle up.
literally I just gave him bird wings
In this au he's an "avian" which is not a human... or maybe it is? Anyway just people with bird wings so like. think partial wing au. These "avians" are really rare and I guess functionally they are humans except for the obvious; no powers etc. Maybe they can have kids with humans too idk I'm not worldbuilding 😭
The avian peoples can hide their wings away and shapeshift into humans ig. Their ability to do so varies from individual to individual. Some can do it at will, others have to be triggered to pop them out or bring them in.
Jason can summon his wings at will but he's always had a hard time shifting back to human especially if there's some kind of stressor present. Sometimes he needs to meditate in order to put them away.
His wings were super pretty when he was a kid. When he gets his full plumage it's very light and majestic and glossy and mostly white, with very subtle accents of grey. Sometimes even gold if the sun hits them right. Think marble angel statue etc. Jason is very proud of his wings. He doesn't keep them out all the time, but they sure come in handy during patrol.
He's delighted to be Robin because of the bird theme. Dick is super mad about it.
Jason is kidnapped multiple times for his wings. As you can imagine, there's a big black market for avian products. Probably why there are so few of them :/ anyway he's a scrappy feller so obviously he manages to escape every time, and his efforts improve after all the Robin training. Intrigue about the newest Wayne boy with the pretty wings is borderline vicious. Where did Bruce find such an attractive avian child? Most everyone who recognizes Jason as Bruce's kid ask to see his wings
He likes to wear them around the house because he likes to show them off and he feels comfortable in the Manor. Bruce and Alfred help him preen while he reads or talks about his day and it's great bonding time. Bruce always tells him his wings are beautiful and he should be proud of them and it makes Jason happy. Also, before coming to the Manor Jason had already had a few run-ins with traffickers and is super hesitant to flaunt his feathers but Bruce makes his promise to never lay an unwanted hand on Jason and promises to be gentle with his wings and he is and he's very respectful and treats Jason's wings with reverence every time Jason asks for help taking care of them ouagh. He has a few feathers lying around the house in his study and on his nightstand next to the framed picture of his two sons.
All the Titans compliment Jason's wings and he's blushing so hard the whole time it makes him dizzy
The wings add another layer to the "Robin is magic!" theme
When Jason and Dick get on less hostile terms, Jason makes jokes about Dick being a Flying Grayson despite not being an avian. Dick never takes it well because he's still salty about Jason stealing Robin but at least he's stopped attacking him for it
The "Little Wing" nickname is so much more pertinent now although it serves less as a symbol of Dick's acceptance and more just emphasizing the obvious
Oh no! Jason gets murdered!
The Joker beat him to kriff, but he absolutely desecrated Jason's wings. I'm talking mangled mutilated every bone broken feathers torn out shredded and bloody poor Jason :(
Bruce frames the few feathers he has and cries over them a ton like the unhealthy coping mechanism walking that he is.
Jason never summons his wings after crawling out of his grave. Obviously there's not much to shift into there and he subconsciously knows that exposing himself as an avian is dangerous when Bruce isn't there to protect him
The Lazarus pit heals the scarring on his wings. It takes a while for the feathers to grow back in. The colors change
His new plumage comes in red (womp womp) and Jason is so upset about it because he loved his pretty white feathers that looked like they'd been dipped in champagne and looked innocent and safe. Now his wings are much bigger and scarier and he feels like a different person. Talia tells him he's being dramatic (he is) but also she helps him preen when he can't bring himself to and she teaches him how to fight with the different weight. She also tries to train him to have better control over shifting in and out of them with little success. Maybe it's a classic case of "needing to find inner peace first" lol
Over the course of his time with the League, hints of black begin bleeding in like ink. It looks kinda creepy and Jason hates it even more but Talia teaches him how to use the intimidating factor to his advantage.
Damian draws him whenever he gets the chance. He thinks he's being sneaky.
When Jason decides to go back to Gotham and be a little menace Talia asks him what he's going to call himself. By that point, the black is more prominent, but "Red Hood" still feels aesthetically appropriate.
The Red Hood doesn't show his wings though. It's just a personal poetic symbol for Jason. Keeps him focused on what he's lost and what he's fighting for in the end etc.
His plan proceeds pretty much as canon, everything goes smoothly, Batman's getting thoroughly obsessed, Black Mask is losing his marbles, even that new Replacement Robin is lying low with an up and coming serial killer on a rampage in the Alley.
Then a particular run-in with Batman changes things. Unbeknownst to Jason, Batman's been going down a check-list trying to gather every possible drop of information about Hood (as he does), and of course he has to check if Hood is an avian. like. as an afterthought. They are a pretty rare species, but it's worth checking anyway. How's he going to do that? Glad you asked
Apparently there's a specific move to trigger an avian into revealing their wings. Probably some kind of nerve strike. Bruce learned it while he was in the League because why not. In the middle of his fight with Hood, he manages to sneak the move in, and boom, suddenly Jason's wings are out in all their glory.
As part of the shapeshifting physics we're going to pretend that the wings can pass through clothing. As long as it's flush to the skin. Maybe. So Jason's wings appear beneath his jacket and they're huge and he is very much thrown off balance and caught off guard and of course feeling significantly violated.
Bruce never told him he could do something like that. He's flabbergasted. It's the perfect opening for Batman to subdue him. Which uh.
Of course Batman only knows the Red Hood as a mass murdering crime lord/Rouge adjacent so he's not super gentle. And he knows about the vulnerable parts of an avian's wings do you see where this is going
Jason goes into survival mode because he's high on adrenaline and feeling extremely vulnerable and remember how the Joker treated him? Jason apparently has trauma about other people touching his wings now. He was fine with Talia because he knew that not only did she have no intention of hurting him but she was actively trying to help (in her own weird way). Batman is a different story. They are in the middle of a fight after all. So Jason kinda panics and can't focus on shifting his wings back in meanwhile he's scrambling to try and fend Batman off and protect himself but now that he's off his game Bruce easily overpowers him
Batman gets his wings tied up somehow and it takes everything in Jason not to devolve into a crying pleading heap of feathers. He's lashing out while Batman tries to sedate him. This isn't going the way Jason planned. Eventually Batman has to hold him down because he's thrashing so hard and wow that doesn't resemble the fearsome crime lord from the rumors
Batman ends up grabbing his wings to avoid being bludgeoned and Jason breaks a bone or two in one of them. He fully shrieks at that point. He's always been sensitive about his wings and hated having them restrained and he's scared and irrational and the trauma has him in a stranglehold. Part of it is the fact that Bruce is the one responsible for hurting him. If nothing else, Jason could always count on Bruce being respectful of his wings, so to have him break a bone (never mind that he doesn't know it's Jason) is really rattling
Bruce meanwhile is doing his best to arrest this helmeted freak who thinks it's funny to cosplay as his son's murderer and unwillingly having his heart strings pulled because not only is this villainous man apparently an avian (just like his son) but also Bruce feels slightly bad about using his knowledge of avian vulnerabilities to take him down. ouch. His protective dad mode activates in the subconscious when Hood's desperation to escape becomes glaringly obvious. Batman has to stop himself from asking who hurt you. Wrong thing to say when he is in the process of hurting the crime lord in question
Jason manages to escape somehow. idk exactly. He's resourceful. Anyway he makes his getaway by a hairsbreadth leaving Batman mildly baffled and even more determined than ever to hunt down the Red Hood. He will need to alter parts of his plan. He can't keep running into Batman if Batman's going to force his wings out again. Of course, Talia taught him how to fight with them, but neither of them realized how difficult that would be when fighting Batman dredged up all the trauma yikes
Batman manages to find Hood again and tries to confront him. Jason does not let him get close tells him to stay the heck away and shoots at him to drive the point home because kriff if he's going to repeat that awful experience from last time. He had a Shadow help set his wing and he complained to Talia about it over the phone. after crying. ugly crying. He didn't leave his safehouse for a few days and spent the whole time eating ice cream and crying and reading macbeth.
Bruce updates the file on Red Hood to include his avian species. Tim saw it and said wow how many avians do you find in Gotham what if it's Jason. Bruce did not find that joke funny, Tim. (to be fair, Tim was running on fifty hours without sleep and at least one mug of coffee brewed from Redbull) Bruce goes to bed that night crying holding one of the feathers he kept from Jason's white wings
When the reveal finally comes, I'm thinking it's some ridiculous scenario involving Jason getting knocked out and Batman having to save him and Bruce naturally takes advantage of this opportunity to kidnap Jason and bring him back to the Batcave. He takes the helmet off too. Tim says wow no kidding huh. Then he has to punt the helmet before it can blow up in Bruce's hands because Bruce is well. He's having a moment.
Jason wakes up with his wrist cuffed to his cot in the Cave medbay. He freaks out. He shifts into his wings on instinct and tries to fly away before realizing the bed is too heavy to let him. His weapons have been thoroughly pillaged. He's having another panic attack. rip. Bruce is there and Alfred convinced him to change out of the Batman suit but he's there and he's also having a nervous breakdown. The first thing he does when Jason calms down (gets lightheaded) enough to stop trying to break out of the cuff by brute force or knock everything within range over is apologize for breaking his wing. Jason's having a bad day. He's already got head trauma from whatever knocked him out in the first place and his plans are in shambles and by God he is not supposed to be in the Batcave with a weirdly watery eyed Bruce. Jason just uh. stares at him.
Tim hears the noise and comes rushing in with Alfred at his heels. Tim's doing damage control analysis. Alfred is openly crying and all just "Master Jason" blah blah "it's so good to have you home" he goes to hold Jason's face like a baby and suddenly Jason feels like crying too. His plans are ruined.
Tim's like good now that you're awake what the heck happened to your wings. Jason threatens to slit his throat. Bruce is now also crying because Jason may look different but there's no denying that this defensive rough around the edges street kid is his kid and oh no he broke his wing :(( Jail for father jail for one thousand years etc.
Dick shows up. Bruce called him to inform him that they'd apprehended the Red Hood and that he was in need of medical attention so naturally... they brought him to the Cave (Bruce has a soft spot for avians and he knew that if he handed Hood over to the authorities he would have been taken advantage of). Dick said what the heck is wrong with you Bruce I'm on my way. So he rushed over thinking he was going to walk into a chaotic atmosphere and he wasn't wrong but he wasn't expecting so much crying to be involved. He also has a mental breakdown. You know how it is. Lots of hand tremors. Screaming. Big ugly sobs. Glaring at Bruce demanding to know why he didn't think to tell him his little brother was back from the dead???? *horrified* what happened to your wings? because Jason's wings somehow look even creepier in the light
Jason keeps trying to shift them back in but he can't focus. He feels very exposed and obviously upset. His beautiful perfect plans are ruined :(( He had so many wonderful plans :((( He was going to break the Joker out of Arkham :((((((( And force Bruce to murder him :(((((((((((( looks like that's not happening anymore
Dick attaches himself to Jason with an octopus hug despite Jason's insistence that he will snap Dick's stupid neck. Tim sees his chance to make the situation worse and joins the hug. Jason half-heartedly attempts to push them off
Eventually they remove the cuff even though Jason makes repeated death threats and as soon as he's free he bolts. Doesn't leave the Cave but he needs to get away and gather his wits so he finds a perch near the Cave ceiling (one of many Bruce installed for him back in the day) and refuses to come down. That's fine. Everyone was trying to process the fact that he's alive anyway. Bruce sits on the ground far below and waits the whole time.
Jason is forced to come down by his need to pee. Also Alfred made tea and biscuits and despite Jason's vendetta, he did miss his family. Conversations are had. They fight and say mean things and Jason still can't pull his wings back in but they've reached a consensus. Bruce is in awe the his baby is back. He's willing to do anything to keep him this time around. He tells Jason that his wings are still beautiful (again, sorry for hurting them that one time), and for every bone of yours the Joker broke I'll break one of his just say the word Jay-lad. Tim pipes up didn't you already do that? Bruce says he'll do it as often as Jason wants lol. This man is so unstable. Jason is very touched. He maintains that the Joker is better off dead, but then he can't really hurt people if he's in a body cast so... sure he'll take the win.
When Jason works up the courage to go into the Manor he sees all his old feathers lying around and it makes him oddly happy. He wants to find it weird, and he definitely makes fun of Bruce for keeping them, but secretly he's so touched and he likes having them so he can still see his pretty white feathers.
Jason gives the best hugs. Okay I know Dick is famous for his octopus hugs but Jason's hugs are objectively the best in canon because it feels like Bruce but without the weight of transaction or expectation PLUS Jason has wings now so imagine getting the best hug of your life and then being cocooned in warm fluffy wings on top of that I would die.
Cass comes home and everyone's like ooh update Red Hood turned out to be Jason! This is your little brother btw and she's like ??? yeah I know. They freak out. How did you know Cass. She says dude look at him. and they reexamine the whole Red Hood scheme (aborted) and the fabricated rivalry with Batman and the speech pattern and the strategic maneuvers and the iconic dramatic flair and they're like okay yeah that makes sense. But you never met him Cass you had no point of reference. FOOLS. MUST THE GODDESS JUSTIFY HERSELF TO YOU??
Anyway everything is fine and Damian joins the family and he makes so many paintings of Jason and his portrait is the first one they have framed with Jason and his new wings. Happily ever after
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666deaddash999 · 2 months
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Red Hood & Arkham Knight
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666deaddash999 · 4 months
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Coming into a fandom late
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666deaddash999 · 5 months
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666deaddash999 · 5 months
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666deaddash999 · 6 months
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the sheer amount of artistic talent put into these panels to portray the right feeling on clark’s face is amazing
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