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how?? just how?

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#Mr. Knightley #Frank Churchill #emma #jane austen

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happy april 30th!

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Me: *trying read over my dm stuff*

Connor: *forces his way into my lap, onto my chest and covers my face and mouth with his face*

Me: ....excuse you.

#he's so damn needy sometimes i stg

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This is horrible, but on this rewatch of CM...maybe it's cuz I've seen late stage og cm unit chief Emily (who I find to be incredibly cringy), but I think I'm starting to see why people thought she was initially pretty annoying 🤣.

She was my 2nd fav so now I'm unclear what I'm meant to do with this information.

#just me bitching about a tv show

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As someone who read books 1 & 2 of the Mortal Engines quartet after the movie....I'm still not entirely convinced the author has ever met and/or interacted with a woman in real life.

#mortal engines

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Jyn & Cassian in Rogue One | 2016

#Jyn Erso #Cassian Andor #rebelcaptain #star wars #bbs #i love that cassian is always holding jyn back cuz she's feral

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Somebody come over and pick an eyedoctor for me from the stack of like 300 my job gave me.

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#you forgot sailor moon

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i get that spike/spuffy antis have to hate season seven on principle (and the fact that they act like spike’s arc is entirely frivolous and unimportant is so wildly dismissive of buffy’s i don’t think they actually even like her!), but so many are straight up factually incorrect about what actually happens. i don’t know if it’s a media literacy issue or a choice to be obstinate. probably a mixture. when you want something to be a certain way, misunderstanding something gives you room to declare yourself right.

their main talking point is that ensouled spike forces his presence on buffy. this… just doesn’t happen even once in the season. at all.

spike doesn’t return to sunnydale to see buffy. he goes back to the hellmouth. probably because it’s all he knows, as a demon he considers it home, and not for nothing he’s already being controlled by the first who wants him in place for a specific purpose.

in the first episode, lessons, buffy comes across spike on her own. he’s at some of his most insane for this interaction, and he walks away from her. in the next episode, beneath you, buffy seeks spike out. she goes to the basement and can’t find him. he’s actively hiding from her.

later in the same episode he gets himself cleaned up and goes to her, for the first and only time. he says it’s because something terrible is coming and he wants to offer his help. he tells her if she doesn’t want him around, tell him and he’ll leave and she can revoke his invite (which notably is still active). she doesn’t. she accepts his help.

they talk while looking for the demon and buffy says she can tell something is different about him but she doesn’t know what. spike makes a point to say he isn’t going to tell her what it is. that’s MAJOR. spike does not want buffy to know about his soul. he doesn’t put it on her, and he doesn’t make it her problem. he ends up telling her only after it’s nearly forced out of him and he’s triggered back into insanity after a lucid period. after he reveals his soul, he leaves.

in the next episode, same time same place, buffy seeks spike out. he’s once again hiding in the basement, so she knows where to find him, but he does not go to her. she enlists his help that episode, twice.

the next episode is help. buffy goes to the basement to see spike. she asks if he knows anything about cassie. he later helps buffy save cassie from the boys trying to sacrifice her.

in the next one, selfless, buffy once again goes to spike. it’s a definite a pattern. buffy seeks out spike. it’s actually a lot like much of their relationship in season six, only much more one sided. she tells him to leave the basement because it’s bad for him.

the next episode, him, sees a big shift. it’s still buffy going to spike, but this time she doesn’t just leave him in the basement. she actively chooses to help him out of it, getting xander to let him move into his apartment. there’s a huge and important change in their dynamic now. they are solidly in each other’s lives, and that was and continues to be buffy’s choice.

i won’t do little synopses for each episode from the rest of the season, but from here spike offers to leave at minimum four additional times, half a dozen or more total all season.

he earnestly wants buffy to kill him in sleeper and never leave me, because he’s devastated and terrified that he’s killing. buffy says no, she’s going to help him and she believes in him. she rescues him, because she wants to, and moves him back into her house.

later on spike seems to be gaining back control of his mind, but when the first threatens him he once again says he’s a danger and needs to leave and buffy says no because shes not ready for him not to be here.

buffy wants spike in her life. she makes that fact extremely clear. maybe at first it wasn’t for the healthiest reasons, but a major theme of season seven is spike and buffy healing both as individuals and growing closer together because of it. their relationship empowers and strengthens buffy, and the final episode is called chosen for a reason. this season is about buffy’s agency. that starts when she decides who’s in her life and who isn’t.

there’s never a single moment where spike makes that decision for her. he doesn’t once tell buffy she has to accept him, or that he should have access to her. he doesn’t come around when she says to leave, because she doesn’t say to leave. he stays away from her until she beckons him back. over and over.

spike doesn’t think he deserves anything from buffy. he believes the opposite, even encouraging her to date and hiding his heartache about it. he doesn’t make his insanity and suffering her problem. she volunteers to help him.

i understand having issues with the writing choice of spike back in buffy’s life at all after what happened in season six, but only if you’re engaging with it honestly. you can dislike that buffy makes the choice to have spike around, but it’s obvious when you disregard her agency and pretend he’s the one calling the shots. you hate a story that didn’t happen, and it’s impossible take seriously.

#spike x buffy #spuffy #btvs #i think buffy might be the single character who understands how big what spike did in getting his soul back was #and she knows he did it for her and that means something #so while she's not ready to forgive she has a need to help because what he did was monumental #and she knows he wasn't going to tell her #but yeah ppl ignore that 99% of s7 is buffy grabbing onto spike and saying 'mine'

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The British literary crossover we didn’t know we needed.

(Link)

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I've been reading this Criminal Minds It AU fic and I'm astonished at how the writer literally wrote between 4-6 fake out deaths for Emily.

I'm sorry, but That is Too Much.

#also the bait and switch on character importance was incredibly irritating #it's like halfway through this turned into an emily simp fic #which...listen i like emily but their version of emily is....why we simpin? #she's awful 🤣

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I know people talk about Reid's holster placement, but I always just assumed it was the most stable place cuz he's so skinny?

#and he doesn't have hips #spencer reid #this is probably just my brain rationalizing 😅 #criminal minds

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Listening/reading books and starting out with "This writing is so good, so descriptive and detailed" and turning into "Ok, this is getting tedious now." Less than half way through is always an interesting time.

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Saw a post in the Spencer Reid tag like 2 days ago that still has me like:

#spencer reid #criminal minds #community is dead individualism regins supreme and you should never help anyone ever apparently #even if they were tortured for 2 days and forced into a drug addiction

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I've been out so much my dog is letting me know how upset he is with me.

#him being upset is him being ontop of me whenever I'm around

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I love getting told I look perpetually 24 🤣