Tumgik
adancingstar · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I CAN'T BEAR IT ANYMORE! I can't... These TRASH HEARTBEATS. They are TOO STRONG, TOO LOUD... I can't fall asleep... I keep hearing them, every single moment. Drugs didn't make it. GOD DAMMIT! Why won't you go SILENT?! Just... STOP! Stop doing this! That's it. My OWN HEART left me no other choice. I need to teach it a lesson. If it does not want to rest, I will put it to rest. Forcefully. Inch by inch... So that I can finally rest. Now that my lungs are filled, I can see it, every single beat, right under my sternum. I can see it... My little pump, my little core, that little mass inside me. It's really, REALLY trying its BEST to show me its beats, to show me how BEAUTIFUL they are, to CONVINCE me they are worth feeling and hearing. But it isn't enough. While my little one trashes DESPERATELY inside me begging for forgiveness, I wonder... How DEEP should I plunge it to reach each one of its chambers, one by one? Apex to Right Ventricle (RV), then to Left Ventricle (LV)? Should I go straight into it? Should I go straight into the LV? Would you go one by one or straight into my little pump's? Here it comes, little one. Just... STOP.
-√\_-√\_-√\_-√\_-√\_-√\_-√\_-√\____-√\____-√\____-√\____-√\____-√\____-√\________-√\________-√\________ -√\________________-√\________________________________-√\____________________________________________________________________________________
.
.
.
Finally, I am at rest. We can both rest now, little pump. You deserve it.
78 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 4 years
Text
Dangerous Knowlegde
3:24. Silence. Everyone was asleep. I couldn't. Insomnia, again. Fortunately, for nights like these I had a special technique that almost always worked: imagining things...with hearts, all kinds of things. So, I started getting horny. Too much, by the way. Before that, there are some things I should say first. You know, I was an Electrical Engineering student back then, and as so, I've built all sorts of stuff. But the thing I liked most was something I did with a Microcontroller, and guess what, for controlling...hearts. Still, I've never had the courage to use it on my own...until that moment. In fact, I've never used it, so I didn't know if it was working the way it was supposed to. The principle was simple, you had to choose a song in your computer, and the Microcontroller (plugged to the computer) was programmed to send a 12 V pulse through certain output pins everytime a low frequency sound, like a bass sound, played in the song. All I needed was a Microcontroller, a computer, two needles, jump cables, one 12 V battery, one transistor, and my Digital Signal Processing book. After a while, it was finished. But it stayed in my drawer for quite some time. Now was the time to test it. It was silent when I got up from my bed. The only sound I could hear was that of my own heart beating. Steady. 60 bpm. A pretty normal and healthy heart. Nice to hear. So, I approached my drawer and took the fine Microcontroller along with the other items I needed from it. Should I do it? Is it worth it risking your life with it? Am I crazy or something? No, I needed it, I wanted it more than anything. I've always loved to think about the possibility that some day I could control my own heartbeat, or even...stop it for good. Why not? It was my heart, and I wanted full control over it. Was I asking for too much? Was I playing with death? Nevermind. I laid in my bed again with my chest upwards. First, I needed to find the right spot between my ribs, as close as possible to my heart. So, I exhaled and stopped my breath for a while. I looked and, there it was, bouncing underneath my skin, beating, contracting, pumping oxigenated and warm blood through my body...Badum...Badum...Badum... What a sight. So, I took one needle. I knew what was coming, and it was going to hurt. But, what could I do? That desire, that fantasy was stronger than me. I couldn't help it. I took courage and pressed the needle hard over my skin, right in that spot, taking care not to pierce too deep, you know. My heart skipped a beat. Badum...badum...badumDUM............badum...badum... A few drops of blood started rolling over my pale skin. But there was still one more left. So I took it, found a spot close to that of the first one, but distant enough for the electric current that was soon to come to flow over my entire heart, and pierced my skin once more. My heart reacted, again. Badum...badumDUMDUM............badum...badum...badumDUM... Finally, there they were, bouncing with every heartbeat. The sight was so astonishing that I could stop there if I wanted. But I desired much more. I wanted my heart to be my slave that night, to do as I said, or better, as the music said. I wanted it to follow other rythms, other than that boring rythm of his...Badum...Badum...Badum...Badum............And I couldn't wait any longer. So, I took one jump cable and attached one end at the Microcontroller's pin and the other at the needle craved above my beating heart. Did the same with the other jump cable attached to the other needle, closing the circuit (VCC and Ground). After that, I've turned on my computer and connected the Microcontroller to it by means of an USB cable. Everything was set: the needles, the Microcontroller, the cables and the computer. Now, I just needed to choose a song. Which one should I choose to start with? My heart was not ready just yet. Maybe a slow song, to heat things up, and after that a faster one. I didn't want my heart to suffer, at least not yet. Fortunately, I had the perfect one. It was slow, but irregular, perfect to see how my heart would react. So, finally, I hit the play button. Nothing happened at the beggining, but soon, my heart started reacting. With every slow Bass from the song, a strong and painful heartbeat. Badum...BadumDUM...DUM...Badum...Badum...DUM...DUM...BaDUMDUM...BaDUMDUMDUM... I could almost feel the electric current passing through my heart's muscle, making my ventricles contract before they could be filled with blood from the atrias. It hurts, but the sensation was so intense that I wanted much, much more. I was hard as rock by that point. The music ended two and a half minutes later, but my heart was still knocked out by that new experience. Few skipped beats here and there, irregular, but not something it couldn't handle, after all my heart was a healthy heart, right? So, I choose another song, faster than the other. My heart didn't have the time to fully recover, so it hurt more than before. BadumDUMDUMDUMDUM...Badum...DUMDUMDUM...Badum...BadumDUMDUM...DUMDUMDUMDUM...Badum...DUM...BaDUM...BaDUM...DUMDUMDUMDUM...Oh God, my heart has never been so irregular in my life, it was perfect! Badum............Badum...DUMDUMDUMDUM...BADUMBADUMBADUM. By this point, my chest was hurting much more than it ever was. My breath started getting deeper, faster. I could feel my heart starving for oxigen, the blood regurgitating at it's valves. The song paused for a moment, and my heart did the same. It started getting tired, stressed. BADUMDUMDUMDUM...DUM...DUM.......................................Ba...dum......Ba...dum... But soon, the song got even faster. DUMDUMDUM...DUM...DUM...DUMDUMDUMDUMDUM...BADUM...BADUM...DUMDUMDUMDUM...badum...badum......badum.........badum...DUMDUM...DUM...DUMDUM...DUM...DUMDUMDUM............Ba...dum...DUMDUM......Ba............Dum... My lungs were hurting now, they tried hard but it wasn't enough, my heart was failing my body, starving... I started getting dizzy and all my body was shaking...The music paused again, and my now damaged and greyish heart got into a long Ventricular Tachycardia...BADUMBADUMBADUM...DUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUM..................................... I was in panic, completely scared, my lungs were filled with air but no oxigen entered my blood stream, a tear took shape in my eyes: I was dying. Then, after one and a half minute, it just stopped. Nothing. Not even a flick from the usual Fibrillation. My heart's pacemaker was completely fried. Just the music could be heard in my bedroom. My vision blured, and faded. Soon after that, my heart died from Ischemia, damaged and starved to death. My lungs stopped soon after. My body was shutting down. But the useless ghost beats, induced by the electric current, continued for more than two minutes. DUM...DUMDUM...DUM...DUMDUMDUM...DUM...DUM...DUMDUM. Then, the music finally stopped. And so did my dead heart. Never to be heard of again. Forever waiting for someone to hit it's "Play" button one more time. No one did. The tear rolled over my cold skin. Time of death: 3:53 Cause: "Accidentaly" induced Cardiac Arrest.
102 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 4 years
Video
Under Pressure (Male, 23, Skinny)
58 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Piercing (Male, 23, Skinny)
24 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Squishing (Male, 23, Skinny)
14 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Holding (Male, 23, Skinny)
27 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 6 years
Audio
25 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 6 years
Audio
51 notes · View notes
adancingstar · 6 years
Audio
Hi, everyone
I have this three part audio for like years (which means I’m not 19 years old anymore), but only now I’ve decided to post it here to make a contribution to the Cardiophile community. I’ve achieved those irregular beats by doing some breath holds along with pressure. I hope you like it.
34 notes · View notes