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ahum420 · 3 years
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There was no time for pain
No energy for anger
The sightlessness of hatred slips away
Walking through winter streets alone
He stops and takes a breath
With confidence and self-control
 I look at the world and see no understanding
I'm waiting to find some sense of strength
I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart
To show me understanding
 I need to live life
Like some people never will
So find me kindness
Find me beauty
Find me truth
When temptation brings me to my knees
And I lay here drained of strength
Show me kindness
Show me beauty
Show me truth
 The way your heart sounds makes all the difference
It's what decides if you'll endure the pain that we all feel
The way your heart beats makes all the difference
In learning to live
Here before me is my soul
I'm learning to live
I won't give up till I've no more to give
No more to give
 Listening to the city
Whispering its violence
I set out watching from above
The 90s bring new questions
New solutions to be found
I fell in love to be let down
 Once again we dance in the crowd
At times a step away
From a common fear that's all spread out
It won't listen to what you say
Once you're touched you stand alone
To face the bitter fight
Once I reached for love
And now I reach for life
 Another chance to lift my life
Free the sensation in my heart
To ride the wings of dreams into changing horizons
It brings inner peace within my mind,
As I'm lifted from where I've split my life
I hear an innocent voice
I hear kindness, beauty and truth
 The way your heart sounds makes all the difference
It's what decides if you'll endure the pain that we all feel
The way your heart beats makes all the difference
In learning to live
Spread before you is your soul
So forever hold the dreams within our hearts
Through nature's inflexible grace
I'm learning to live
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ahum420 · 4 years
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Living and dying, laughing and crying Once you have seen it you will never be the same Life in the fast lane is just how it seems Hard and it's heavy, dirty and mean Motorbreath It's how I live my life I can't take it any other way Motorbreath The sign of living fast It is going to take Your breath away Don't stop for nothing, its full speed or nothing I am taking down you know whatever is in my way Getting your kicks as you're shooting the line Sending the shivers up and down my spine Motorbreath It's how I live my life I can't take it any other way Motorbreath The sign of living fast It is going to take Your breath away Those people who tell you not to take chances They are all missing on what life is about You only live once, so take hold of the chance Don't end up like others, same song and dance! Motorbreath It's how I live my life I can't take it any other way Motorbreath The sign of living fast It is going to take Your breath away
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ahum420 · 4 years
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youtube
Un año mas Que voy llevando sobre mí Emancipando los caminos que escogí
Y los demás se olvidaron de existir Y los demás se intentaron destruir
Y me perdí En la constancia de avanzar No me senté Ni un instante a descansar
y los demás me dejaron prescindir de los demás por que no hay que desistir si los demás se olvidaran como fue el ayer y como hay que sobrevivir
y los demás se perdieron entre si y los demás me dejaron decidir y los demás, a lo lejos miran hoy donde va a empezar todo una vez mas
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ahum420 · 4 years
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I close my eyes and slip away And long for change within the air Hope fills my soul, I realise I have the sky under my feet Sun up above, I am complete Joy fills my heart in Paradise I sense your hand searching for mine (I am) Falling through time I feel your love reaching across (Transcend) All the years we lost Someone's calling me Echoes of a childhood memory Eyes open wide as I awake I sense no change within the air Hope leaves my soul, I paralyse This world of pain and suffering Creeps into me and once again I mourn the loss of innocence If I could run away Back to my innocent days Someone's calling me Echoes of a childhood memory Someone's calling me Echoes of a childhood memory Passages of time Buried in the chaos of my mind Chronicles of life Concealing a truth I left behind Passages of time Buried in the chaos of my mind Chronicles of life Concealing a truth I can't deny Moon begins to rise Reflecting on a life once sanctified Night begins to fall Voices of my youth, immutable Memories collide My scattered soul is almost unified Thoughts are in full flight Enveloping a wisdom earned with time Passages of time Stripping back the layers of my mind Chronicles of life Unraveling a truth which I must find Passages of time Stripping back the layers of my mind Chronicles of life Unraveling a truth I kept inside Snow is falling all around What once was lost has now been found The life I had to leave behind Is crystallising in my mind Reminiscing on the past A bygone time that could not last The splintered crystal of my prime Is now a bell that will not chime The crystallising thoughts of youth They flood my mind and show me truth My soul was free in days of yore A white seed that once was pure The snow is falling all around What once was lost has now been found The life I had to leave behind Is crystallising in my mind Reminiscing on a bygone time Splintered crystal prime a bell that will not chime Crystallising thoughts of my faded youth Flood my mind and bringeth waves of truth Now the echoes of a false lullaby Like a black seed in a bed of lies Splintering the crystal a bell that will not chime Thoughts flood my mind in truth a faded youth (The snow is falling) I reminisce on the past a time gone by (New life is calling) Splintering the crystal a bell that will not chime I will return Snow is falling all around What once was lost has now been found The life I had to leave behind Is crystallising in my mind Reminiscing on the past A bygone time that could not last The splintered crystal of my prime Is now a bell that will not chime The crystallising thoughts of youth They flood my mind and show me truth My soul was free in days of yore A white seed that once was pure The snow is falling all around What once was lost has now been found The life I had to leave behind Is crystallising in my mind Reminiscing on a bygone time Splintered crystal prime a bell that will not chime Crystallising thoughts of my faded youth Flood my mind and bringeth waves of truth Now the echoes of a false lullaby Like a black seed in a bed of lies Splintering the crystal a bell that will not chime Thoughts flood my mind in truth a faded youth (The snow is falling) I reminisce on the past a time gone by (New life is calling) Splintering the crystal a bell that will not chime I will return I have returned To the springtime in the garden Seeds are sown, flowers grow And the child is born again Filled with delight And the laughter is contagious As we dance, as we sing Celebrating 'til the end Joy and respite On the faces of the children With a smile, realise That their love will never end I have received Affirmation of the spirit Falling snow takes me home And the man is whole again Mind open wide as I awake I sense a change within myself Hope feeds my soul I realise I feel the earth under my feet Son by my side, I am complete Pride fills my heart in Paradise Hearts open wide as I awake I sense a change within myself Love feeds my soul I realise This world of pain and suffering Ignites in me and once again Sparks the rebirth of innocence If I could run away I'd choose to live for today Someone's calling me Echoes of a childhood memory The moon will rise The night will fall I hold your hand But you let go The sun will shine The snow will thaw All things must pass Into the unknown Escaping the past by embracing the future Escaping the past by embracing the future Escaping the past by embracing the future Escaping the past by embracing the future
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ahum420 · 4 years
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I remember a time My frail, virgin mind Watched the crimson sunrise Imagined what it might find Life was filled with wonder I felt the warm wind blow I must explore the boundaries Transcend the depth of winter's snow Innocence caressing me I never felt so young before There was so much life in me Still I longed to search for more But those days are gone now Changed like a leaf on a tree Blown away forever Into the cool autumn breeze The snow has now fallen And my sun's not so bright I struggle to hold on With the last of my might In my den of inequity Viciousness and subtlety Struggle to ease the pain Struggle to find the sane Ignorance surrounding me I've never been so filled with fear All my life's been drained from me The end is drawing near 'Carpe diem, seize the day' I'll always remember The chill of November The news of the fall The sounds in the hall The clock on the wall ticking away 'Seize the Day' I heard him say Life will not always be this way Look around Hear the sounds Cherish your life while you're still around "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,         Old Time is still a-flying;               And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying."                 We can learn from the past But those days are gone We can hope for the future But there might not be one The words stuck in my mind Alive from what I've learned I have to seize the day To home I returned Preparing for her flight I held with all my might Fearing my deepest fright She walked into the night She turned for one last look She looked me in the eye I said, 'I Love You...Good-bye' "It's the most awful thing you'll ever hear."                           "If you're lying to me" "Oh, you dearly love her."               "just have to leave, all our lives." "Seize the day!" "Something happened." "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." "She was killed." So far or so it seems All is lost with nothing fulfilled Off the pages and the T.V. screen Another world where nothing's true Tripping through the life fantastic Lose a step and never get up Left alone with a cold blank stare I feel like giving up I was blinded by a paradise Utopia high in the sky A dream that only drowned me Deep in sorrow, wondering why Oh come let us adore him Abuse and then ignore him No matter what, don't let him be Let's feed upon his misery Then string him up for all the world to see I'm sick of all you hypocrites Holding me at bay And I don't need your sympathy To get me through the day Seasons change and so can I Hold on Boy, No time to cry Untie these strings, I'm climbing down I won't let them push me away Oh come let us adore him Abuse and then ignore him No matter what, don't let him be Let's feed upon his misery Now it's time for them to deal with me I'm much wiser now A lifetime of memories Run through my head They taught me how For better or worse, alive or dead I realize there's no turning back Life goes on the offbeaten track I sit down with my son Set to see the Crimson Sunset (Gather ye rosebuds while ye may) Many years have come and gone I've lived my life, but now must move on (Gather ye rosebuds while ye may) He's my only one Now that my time has come Now that my life is done We look into the sun 'Seize the day and don't you cry, Now it's time to say good-bye Even though I'll be gone, I will live on, live on.'
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ahum420 · 4 years
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I've got so much to give I got a lot a heart Yeah only trouble is it's doomed from the start And I've been riding this thing out since I was 8 yrs old And if you could just see inside of me you'd see a heart made of gold And I try to live a good life and keep an open mind Gave up everything I love and kept it all inside But somedays I just feel like crying And somedays I don't feel like trying But somedays I just feel like crying And somedays I don't feel like trying But somedays I just feel like crying And somedays I don't feel like trying But somedays I just feel like crying And somedays I don't feel like trying Somedays Somedays Somedays Somedays I'm here right now I'm not dead yet
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ahum420 · 4 years
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youtube
Feel the chills down your spine Let me break down Your last will to deny Put your life on the line And surrender your past Don't ask me why You must submit to my fatal mind And make it your own I dare not lie Come now, don't look behind Let me see that you've grown I dare you to die
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ahum420 · 4 years
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I'm just the paint You paint the picture What are you seeing? What are you feeling? And all my colours For your creating Is your rainbow Black and blue Or your heavens Cherry Blossoms? But what do you cover With your ocean of colours? Secrets? Regrets? Who are you Through and through? See who you are Deep in the core Under the paint Under It All Paint me your face And please be revealing What are you dreaming? What are you praying for?           Prayers Joey Brider: Now I lay me down to sleep and pray the Lord to be with all the people that have nobody. I want my mommy to come back Sister Ruby Theresa: Oh, mighty Father who is within, I beg you for your mercy. Please save me from this guilt and pain that has stolen my life Maria Hendrix: All I ever wanted was someone to love me. That' s all I ever wanted. All I want is someone to love me Guzzo Sockler: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy money. Thy kingdom come... money, Thy will be done... money, on Earth as it is in money. Give us this day our daily money... and forgive us our money, as we forgive those who money against us. And lead us into money Eve Patterson: Gllpplupp---hmmsgulpplvgud---ohhhhaabawewglaba--- hmmmmmm, hmmmm- agullgullg, etc Pray for fortunes Pray for love Or the highest Radha Soami Or do you see that all Is always within us all? Deeper, look deeper Or is there just nothing There at all? Joey Brider: Hi, my name is Joey Brider, and when I grow up I wanna be a doctor. But what I don' t know is that I' m actually going to discover the cure for loneliness           Sister Ruby Theresa: I' m Sister Ruby Theresa, and I've spent my life caring for the poor and the sick. I've saved so many, but accidentally killed my baby brother when I was seven Maria Hendrix: I was 12 when I told my parents that my teacher touched me. He lost his job and family and died in prison. Then, when I was 35, I told the truth Guzzo Sockler: I have a beautiful wife, three amazing daughters that love me very deeply, but what I would like most in this world is Bill Gates' money Michael Nemus: I never thought that anything I could ever say could hurt someone so deeply Sister Ruby Theresa: God gave the gift of artists to the world, so that people can dream while they're awake Joey Brider: I'm alive and I'm aware! Maria Hendrix: I'm...only happy when...everyone else is miserable Michael Nemus: I'm going to tell you the Truth, even if I have to lie to you Guzzo Sockler: I'm dead... Sister Ruby Theresa: I would suffer another whole lifetime of emptiness and pain just to hear, one time again, the whisper of Your small, still voice Guzzo Sockler: Now you listen to me you dirty mutha-fugler. You don' t know me, and now you fuglin did it. Now come here... Bang!!! President Ausi Oak (Us): It is time we stand up for our human rights and our way of life and destroy our enemy, for they are soulless animals and the corrupters of freedom I take an oath to hunt them down and root them out and kill them until they are dead. We will not give up the fight until righteousness prevails, for it is for sure that God is on our side           Bin Lenny (Them): The time has come that we must protect our souls and the future of our kind by annihilating the infidels; it is our duty to the creator to cleanse the world of such filth Let us gloriously offer our lives, for the rewards of heaven await us, for it is sure that God is on our side Chorus See who you are Deep in the core Under the paint Under It All Straight to the heart Behind the walls Under the paint There's so much more Under It All There's so much more Under It All
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ahum420 · 4 years
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(Hello, mirror, so glad to see you, my friend, it's been a while) Staring at the empty page before me All the years of wreckage run through my head Patterns of my live have thawed and torn me Revealing hurtful shame and deep lament Overwhelming sorrow now absorbs me As the pen begins to trace my darkest past Signs throughout my life that should have warned me Of all the wrongs I've done for which I must repent I once thought it better to regret Things that I have done, then haven't Sometimes you've got to be wrong Learn the hard way Sometimes you've got to be strong When you think it's too late Staring at the finished page before me All the damage now so clear and evident Thinking 'bout the dreaded task in store for me A bitter fear at the thought of my amends Hoping that the step will help restore me To face my past and ask for forgiveness Cleaning up my dirty side of this un-swept street Could this be the beginning of the end? I once thought it better to regret Things that I have done, then haven't Sometimes you've got to be wrong Learn the hard way Just when you're through hanging on You're saved If we are painstaking about this phase of our development We will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace No matter how far down the scale we have gone. We will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They have been fulfilled amongst others Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. We will always be true to our principles. You're only as sick as your secrets But the truth shall set you free. The truth is the truth. That's all you can do is live with it.
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ahum420 · 4 years
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Why can't I see what's in front of me? Why can't I see what's in front of me? I see the doors that I can't open Adding locks from time to time When it opens something blocks me And I'm asking myself why? Did I take the step I wanted Was it just a state of mind? I feel sorry for myself Every time I close my eyes And I fall into a hole And I can take no more... And I fall into a hole And I can take no more... And I fall into a hole And I can take no more... And I fall into a hole And I can take no more... Why can't I see what's in front of me? Why can't I see what's in front of me? What's behind the door I wonder? Must be brighter than my past Will I feel a little different When I take myself across? Was it really worth the journey? Was it just a foolish task? I feel sorry for myself When I open up my eyes... And I fall into a hole And I can take no more And I fall into a hole And I can take no more And I fall into a hole And I can take no more And I fall into a hole And I can take no more....
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ahum420 · 4 years
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Morning comes too early , And night time falls too late. And sometimes all I want to do is wait. The shadow I've been hiding in Has fled from me today. I know it's easier To walk away, Than look it in the eye. But I will raise a shelter to the sky And here beneath this star tonight I'll lie She will slowly yield the light As I awaken from the longest night. Dreams are shaking set sirens waking up tired eyes With the light the memories all rush into his head. By a candle stands a mirror of his heart and soul she dances She was dancing through the night above his bed. And walking to the window He throws the shutters out against the wall And from an ivory tower hears her call "Let light surround you" It's been a long, long time He's had a while to think it over In the end he only sees the change Light to dark Dark to light Light to dark Dark to light Heaven must be more than this When angels waken with a kiss Sacred hearts won't take the pain But mine will never be the same He stands before the window His shadow slowly fading from the wall And from an ivory tower he hears her call "Let the light surround you" Once I was but I was found. When I heard the stained glass Shatter all around me. She whispers words to clear my mind. I once could see but now at last, I'm blind. I know it's easier To walk away, Than look it in the eye. But I have given all that I could take. And now I've only habits left to break. Tonight I'll still be lying here surrounded In all the light.
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ahum420 · 4 years
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When darkness will reign and blind us all When darkness will reign and blind us all Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall We cannot tell when morning comes Is there a choice to live another day? It's hard to find a new direction in your fragile life The precious time of your existence is now to come Don't throw your life away by cheating time Sugared placebos only fool your mind Now I want the water to wash away all my sins The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning The fire to burn away my thickened skin When darkness will reign and blind us all Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall Novas portas pandimus What is this pace, the type of dance? I cannot tell which steps I have to take I'd like to leave, just run away My feet are tangled up So hard to face the pace of the clock What do you think; will it ever stop? So will I fall and not get up? I take it all in stride Now I want the water to wash away all my sins The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning The fire to burn away my thickened skin Everything has a reason for its happening Can't you tell it's your own spell and Everyone has to dance this dance like anyone Can't break free of destiny We should open new doors and Close the ones that we've left behind Now I want the water to wash away all my sins The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning The fire to burn away my thickened skin When darkness will reign and blind us all Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall Novas portas pandimus Et post nos occludimus
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ahum420 · 4 years
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youtube
Alone tonight, sitting in the candlelight Thinking again, of all my life and the words unsaid You know i'm deeply repent Walking around the streets of my family house Remembering again, of all my childhood and the dreams we've shared My childhood came into an end Time flies in circles and rerun So fast, but time is an illusion and it bends Now it makes so much sense And all those dreams in daytime Searching for the light The saints were calling me in the night They told me everything is alright The voices keep on calling me They're screaming in my head, all this time To find the answers and fare They were always there Thinking and thinking how to find my way I'ma standing on the gate Walking and say goodbye See you on the other side           I came for recreation Travelled through space and time All over the ages The planets aligned I came for the salvation Of soul and spirit and mind All over the changes My body revived
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ahum420 · 4 years
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Now there is no end The wheel will turn, my friend I’m in flames Cause I have touched the light It pulls me so We shall be one Forevermore That’s all I want It’s all I need Everything is fixed There’s no chance There’s no choice It’s calling me Saidin So precious and sweet My mind keeps fading away It’s scratching deeper My sole reliever How can I find you now? Passing through the flames I see How terror will rise It soon will be over O father of lies Like foul winds at twilight It’s coming over me What was and what will be? What is? I don’t know           Driving me insane Just feel the heat Madness creeps in I’ll tear it down There’s no end Wheel of time It keeps on spinning There’s no beginning Turn the wheel of time There’s no beginning Just keep on spinning Light - it binds me Light - it blinds me Light - it finds me Light denies me now I creep along So desperate and tired Let me ask you Why? I am what I am Prophecies I am the chosen Ta'veren The flame will grow Feel the heat I’ll keep on breathing After all there’s no tomorrow           Wheel of time Save my soul, find a way And if I fail, will it all be over? Oh wheel of time The vision So fleeting and vague Once again I will bring down the mountain One last glimpse It is constantly slipping away The young man said “I will never give up” The inner war I can hold against it My mind, my mind My mind’s in darkness The young man says “I will never give in” The prophecy Behold it’s true I conquer the flame To release the insane I’m crying I cannot erase I’m the Dragon Reborn And in madness I soon shall prevail Twice I’ll be marked and Twice I shall live The heron sets my path And name me true Twice I’ll be marked and Twice I shall die My memory’s gone But twice I pay the price           Wheel of time Save my soul Find a way May it be as the pattern has chosen Oh, wheel of time Turn the wheel of time It keeps on spinning There’s no beginning There’s no end, wheel of time There’s no beginning Just keep on spinning Shine on Embrace and deny me Turn on, wheel of time Shine on You’ve burnt me, now guide me Weave on, wheel of time
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ahum420 · 4 years
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Fool enough to almost be it Cool enough to not quite see it Doomed Pick your pockets full of sorrow Run away with me tomorrow June Try, ease the pain Somehow we'll feel the same Well, no one knows Where our secrets go I send a heart to all my dearies When your life is so, so dreary Dream I'm rumored to the straight and narrow While the harlots of my perils Scream And I fail But when I can, I will Try to understand That when I can, I will Mother weep the years I'm missing All our time can't be given Back Shut my mouth and strike the demons Cursed you and your reasons Out of hand and out of season Out of love and out of feeling So bad When I can, I will Words defy the plan When I can, I will Fool enough to almost be it Cool enough to not quite see it Old enough to always feel this Always old, I'll always feel this No more promise no more sorrow No longer will I follow Can anybody hear me I just want to be me When I can, I will Try to understand That when I can, I will
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ahum420 · 5 years
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Ashes and promises share a bond Through the winds of change Words are blown away When visions that should be Are tattooed in your mind The power to let go Is sometimes hard to find The answer cannot be found In the writing of others Or the words of a trained mind In a precious world of memories We find ourselves confined Claws so razor sharp Ripping at the spirit Promises a potential to hurt Is anything real? When forever is to be until Deep inside, in the world of empty words... No escaping from those haunting Empty words... Do you ever feel it? A craving that is so strong To by thought rewind in order to find Expectations that shined through the doubt That soon would turn into the price Of what a word will be worth When tomorrow comes To be and we are left Standing on our own- And seeing what is real... The answer cannot be found In the writing of others Or the words of a trained mind In a precious world of memories We find ourselves confined Claws so razor sharp Ripping at the spirit
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ahum420 · 5 years
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I had visions, I was in them I was looking into the mirror To see a little bit clearer Rottenness and evil in me Fingertips have memories Mine can't forget the curves of your body And when I feel a bit naughty I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes (But no one ever does) I'm not sick but I'm not well And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell Been around the world and found That only stupid people are breeding The cretins cloning and feeding And I don't even own a tv Put me in the hospital for nerves And then they had to commit me You told them all I was crazy They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee, god damn you I'm not sick but I'm not well And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell I'm not sick but I'm not well And it's a sin to live so well I want to publish zines And rage against machines I want to pierce my tongue It doesn't hurt, it feels fine The trivial sublime I'd like to turn off time And kill my mind You kill my mind Paranoia, paranoia Everybody's coming to get me Just say you never met me I'm going underground with the moles digging holes Hear the voices in my head I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring But if you're bored then you're boring The agony and the irony, they're killing me I'm not sick but I'm not well And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell I'm not sick but I'm not well And it's a sin to live so well
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