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Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 14

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

***

Zeke

12 months earlier

I squatted in the Pits, putting the finishing touches on our minibot, Gurren, in preparation for our fight with Team Bottle Rocket in twenty minutes. I was so zoned in on getting all the screws extra tight that I almost missed my phone blaring out a Kendrick Lamar song. I groaned when I saw the caller ID. “Hi, Mom,” I said, attempting to keep the stress and frustration out of my voice. It was better to get whatever ‘conversation’ this was out of the way now- if I tried to put it off and ignore her, she’d just be even more cantankerous about it when we actually got around to it.

“Hellllo, Ezeekielll,” she slurred, her words blending together at the borders of the syllables. Oh, good. “How are you this evening?”

“Uh, a little busy to be honest, Mom,” I said.

“Busy? Busy with what? It’s not like you have a job.”

I breathed in a sharp sigh through my nose. “I do have a job, Mom. It’s just seasonal.”

“Those obnoxious shows you go on don’t count as a-”

“Mom, was there a specific reason you called?” I asked, focusing on keeping the screws tight. “Like I said, I’m a little busy.”

“Too busy to talk to your dear ol’ mum,” she said, her accent starting to slip out. She’d been training herself not to have one ever since she’d moved to the States back when she was a teenager, but sometimes it still flared up. Usually when she’d indulged in one too many Screwdrivers. “That’s a problem, you know- you’ll never get a girlfriend if you hate your own mother.”

“I don’t hate you, Mom,” I said monotone.

“Love the exact phrasing there, Ezekiel. Very gentlemanly.”

The screwdriver, my screwdriver, a literal one, slipped out of my hands. And as I reached down for it, I noticed my breathing- sharp, fast, all inhale and holding my breath, only exhaling when I absolutely needed to. “Thank you, Mother, I try.”

“Don’t you get sarcastic with me, young man- that’s hardly a trait that will do you any favors with the ladies either.”

I reached for the screwdriver on the ground, but my hand trembled when I tried to grip it. It slipped out of my grasp and hit the floor once again. “Look, Mom, my match starts in a few minutes, I really need to finish these repairs on Dai Guren-”

“Oh God, I forgot you gave that stupid thing a name. How asinine.”

Cold, soggy shame dripped off of me, and I let myself inhale and exhale through my mouth.

And of course she kept going: “And that’s another thing- why is it just you doing this? Don’t you have teammates for this nonsense? They don’t appreciate you. If they did, they wouldn’t force you to do all the work-”

“They don’t force me to do all the work, Mom!” I snapped. “And I’m doing these repairs because I’m good at them. They had to go handle other stuff for the match. It’s not actually that complicated, but you refuse to understand!”

A few moments of deafening silence poured out from the other end of the line. “This is clearly not going to be a productive conversation. I think I’m done with you for the evening. I’ll call you back when you’re in a more reasonable headspace.”

“Mom-”

She ended the call before I could get another word out.

It wasn’t quiet in the pits- people were using saws to carve up metal, flames were welding parts together, drills were digging into machinery. All the high-pitched screeches coalesced into a singular plaintive wail.

A tear fell off my chin and shattered on the ground. I tore off my work gloves and wiped my eyes, hoping nobody would see me. I wasn’t much of a crier. No reason to ruin that reputation now, when I had other things to focus on. The bot was ready for the fight, and that was what I had to focus on, not the hollow pit in my chest rapidly filling with anger and resentment and freaking exhaustion-

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

My fingers parted across my visage. I hadn’t even realized my face was buried in my hands. I looked through the gaps to find Calloway there, standing across the narrow middle walkway that ran down the white room. He was standing there in jeans and a black hoodie drawn up over his head, but he pulled it back and shaked out his shaggy brown hair. His eyes always looked… Harsh, angry, aggressive. But not now, not at this moment. Now they looked… Softer. Concerned. And… Genuine, in their concern. I’d gotten pretty good at spotting the difference between genuine concern and artificial; having parents like mine forces you to learn as fast as possible. But right now, here, he…

“I… Just a difficult phone call with my mom,” I said, pulling my hands away from my face entirely, directing my gaze at the floor.

Calloway stepped forward and gave me a hug. I flinched- the guy really had no sense of personal space, but honestly… I needed it, then, so I hugged him back. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

I mumbled, “I guess I just…”

“What?” Calloway asked.

“It’s nothing, it’s…”

“What?” Calloway said, pulling out of the hug and looking me directly in the face, furrowing his brow.

“I’m… Just surprised that you care,” I said.

He gulped and took a step backward, along with a slight bite to his lower lip that ended as soon as it began. “I, uh… Yeah, yeah that’s fair.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“No, you did,” he said, turning his head so he didn’t have to look me in the eyes anymore. “It’s fine. Really, it is. I just… I really must come off like I’m a lot, all the time, huh?”

“I… What do you want me to say here, dude?” I said, taking a step towards him.

He took another step back. “Just the truth. Just… How you really feel.”

I drew in another deep breath. “Yes. You… You do.”

He gulped again. “That… That explains a buncha stuff. I kinda figured people knew I… But I guess they wouldn’t. Fair enough.”

“Look, Calloway-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a playful wave of his hand, plastering a bogus smile onto his face. “Just means I sell the heel routine well. That’s not a bad thing. And this isn’t really about me- I was asking you what’s wrong. Um… Do you… Do you wanna talk about it?”

My phone alarm hollered inside my pants’ pocket. Ten minutes till the fight. They’d be starting the introductory monologues soon. “I dunno if I have time right now, but… I appreciate it. I really, sincerely do. Maybe… Maybe next time?”

“Next time I catch you crying, tough guy?” he said, the smile edging just a little closer to genuine.

I forced out a little chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so. For now… Can I just get another hug?”

He nodded rapidly. “Of course.”

Then he went in for it and wrapped his arms around my back. And it felt… Good. Supportive. Strong, but not aggressive.

Maybe there was more to Keith Calloway than I thought.

***

NOW

I sprayed some breath spray into my mouth while I paced up and down the hallway of my apartment, my hands wringing together as I tried to keep my mind clear and focused.

I liked Kate. That much was hard to deny. She was bright and funny and passionate, just radiated warmth and empathy, and I felt like I could let my guard down around her in a way I couldn’t around other people. Including Faith.

But I liked Faith. I had for a while now. She was chill and focused and creative, a freaking dancing ray of light that always brightened up my day, who I desperately wanted to protect and take care of.

And they were both incredibly pretty.

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit what is wrong with me? Just like my jackass of a father, can’t keep it in my pants, can’t be happy with what I have, like a real man is supposed to.

But that didn’t matter. I was going on a date with Katie tonight. I was moving on from Faith, because that was the right thing to do, because she didn’t like me back, because she didn’t swing that way and just wasn’t physically attracted to me. And Kate… She made it really easy to want to move on, and she seemed to really want to be with me, for some unfathomable reason. Holding her in my arms made me feel like the strongest person in the world; the way she’d just slid up to me and put herself there like it was the most natural fit possible… It felt really good. I felt really good around her.

My phone buzzed, and I saw from the caller ID that it was my mom.

My finger loomed over the ‘accept call’ button for a solid minute before the phone simply stopped ringing altogether. Then it immediately started ringing again, because my mom was physically incapable of taking no for an answer.

A spark of anger caught in my chest, burning my insides and sending proverbial smoke out of my ears. Goddammit, I was twenty-three years old, financially self-sufficient, and living in my own place. She did NOT get to keep pulling this crap. She hadn’t reached out to me in months and now, when I had something legitimately important to do, she decided it was the perfect time to interrupt. Couldn’t even be bothered to text first, asking if now was a good time.

I thought about a year ago, and the mess I’d become when my mom called before that match, and Kate, back before I’d known she was Kate, before she’d known she was Kate, before she and I could even call ourselves friends, let alone whatever we were now, had held me and comforted me. Didn’t have to be asked, just offered and did her best to make good on that offer. That was when it had started to dawn on me that underneath it all, she really was a kind person with a big heart.

It was also when it really started to dawn on me that my mom was an absolute bitch. Maybe she wasn’t as unbearable as my dad, but it would be a truly Herculean feat to be anywhere near as unpleasant as that selfish asshole.

I hit ‘ignore.’

I breathed out, slowly and carefully, leaning against the wall. I was emphatically not going to cry right now, because I didn’t want Kate to feel like she had to take care of me tonight. I wanted to take care of her, to show her that yes, she really was the cute, sweet, wonderful girl she was trying to be.

The tumblers of our lock shifted as the front door opened. Faith stepped through, a sad smile on her face. “Heyo,” she said. “Your hot date is downstairs waiting for you. Show her a good time tonight, yeah?”

“Of course,” I nodded, double checking my pockets to make sure I had my phone and wallet. Good to go. “You gonna be okay by yourself tonight?”

She gave an errant wave of her hand and said, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I can get caught up on my soaps.”

“You watch soap operas?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, old ones from the 1960s, mostly,” she said. “They’re really funny when you’re stoned.”

“Fair enough,” I said. I gave her a quick hug, which she happily accepted. “Don’t wait up for me!”

“Will do!” she said as I made my way out the door.

I headed down the stairs and out front, where Kate’s pickup truck sat in the thin driveway that led into the parking garage below my building. I did a double-take when I saw her, leaning against the front of her truck. She wore a red dress that covered her chest wholesale, but beneath, what looked like boobs protruded from the dress in question. Falsies, presumably- Faith must have loaned her old ones out. Still, it couldn’t be denied that they looked real good on Kate, bringing the whole look together. Her dress had a slit going up the side, showing off her long, smooth legs well up her thick thighs. Bright red lipstick was painted across her mouth, and my whole body was screaming at me to cup her face in my hands and shove my tongue down her throat. So, of course, in my infinite intelligence and articulation, all I managed to choke out was, “Whoa.”

She smiled the kind of smile you want to protect with every fiber of your being. “Like what you see?” Her voice was high and breathy, each syllable enunciated slowly and carefully. She’d only been out for a few days and she’d already come so far. It was astonishing. It was… She was…

“Absolutely beautiful,” I said, unable to blink.

Her jaw dropped, and she stared at me.

Then a car pulled up behind her and honked at us- I recognized one of my neighbors behind the wheel, an older, heavyset woman named Nina.

“C’mon, let’s get going,” Kate said. She gestured me into the truck and then we pulled out of the driveway. “So, where are we going?” she asked.

“Uh, Indian place on Lincoln Boulevard. It’s over by my old college,” I said, trying not to stare at her too much and venture into the dubious territory of ‘creepy weirdo.’

“Sounds good, I love Indian food,” she smiled again.

Kiss her, you idiot, my brain hollered. Wait, no, she’s driving. Bad idea. But kiss her before the end of the night! “How’d the appointment go?”

“Fantastic! I’ll be able to start hormones hopefully by the end of the week!”

“That’s fantastic!” I said. “How’d the other one go?”

She spat out a petulant sigh. “Less good. My sponsor is…”

“Is?”

“Let’s be charitable and go with ‘pragmatic,’” she said, her voice dropping low. She grunted with frustration and her eyes peeled wide as she heard her own words.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, trying my best to sound reassuring. “I don’t mind if you use your… Other voice.” I managed to stop myself from saying ‘boy voice’ or ‘normal voice.’ Thank God.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “It’s… It’s not that I don’t want you to hear it, it’s that I don’t like hearing it.”

“That’s fair,” I said.

“But yeah, if I want to keep Gaines as my sponsor, I may or may not have to lean into this whole trans thing as part of my ‘brand.’ Ugh, I hate that word. Gag me.”

“Is that a request?” I smirked.

She blushed redder than the Red Comet. “What if it is?”

“Then I’d be happy to accommodate.” What the hell, when did I get this bold?! It must have been my dick talking for me. Made sense- I’d spent… Several years not listening to it. How long had it been since I’d last had sex, anyway? Two years? Three?

Getting ahead of yourself, Underhill. “Do you think you’re gonna stick with Gaines?” I asked.

“Don’t see what choice I have,” she replied as she turned onto Lincoln and started driving west. “I don’t exactly have the capital to self-fund. How do you and Faith raise money, anyway?”

“Uh, a couple ways. Grant from our old college, a loan from Faith’s parents, and the money she and I raise doing temporary engineering jobs during the off-season. Usually like…, four, five months full time work with one of the aerospace companies in the city, then we spend the rest of the year working on the fun stuff.”

“I should probably look into something like that,” Kate said. “I don’t dislike working for my parents, but I’m never gonna make the kind of money I need to keep going in the ‘bot battle circuit working twenty hours a week at an indie retail outlet.”

“I have some contacts at a few places that I can send your way,” I offered. “Might be able to help you get a foot in the door, do some interviews.”

“That… Would be amazing,” she beamed. “You’d really do that for me?”

“‘Course I would,” I said. I want you to keep smiling that smile. “I just… Want you to be happy.”

“Thanks,” she said. “For… Everything.”

“No problem, Katie,” I said.

She giggled. God, her laugh was adorable. So, I said that out loud.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“You have a cute laugh,” I said simply.

“It’s not cute… I’m not…”

“If you’re about to say you’re not cute, just know that there’s nothing cuter than a cute girl insisting she’s not cute.”

“... Dammit. You’re right.”

“Gotcha,” I said, snapping my fingers.

We carried on like that until we got to the restaurant, where, to my astonishment, we were seated immediately. I ordered a lamb vindaloo with a side of garlic naan, and she ordered butter chicken with onion naan. We split an order of vegetable samosas as well, and we were seated by the window looking out into the street. A pair of candles sat between us on our glass table, casting a bit of glow in the darkened dining area.

“So, you went to that school over there, then?” Kate asked. “LMU?”

“Yeah, all four years.”

“How’d you wind up there?” she asked.

“Uh, well, I applied to UCLA and didn’t get in,” I said with a self-deprecating laugh. “Which is true of, uh, most of the school, actually.”

“They couldn’t get into UCLA?” Kate chuckled.

“Or USC. Or Harvey Mudd. Or Cal Poly.”

“Ahhh, gotcha. You said you grew up around here, right?”

“For a given value,” I said. “I was raised in Riverside.”

“Inland Empire, I see,” she said. “That place as horrifying as David Lynch makes it look?”

I chuckled. “Only when it’s on fire.”

“So, like, all Summer?”

“Pfft, basically.”

“It’s funny, you know, we grew up in the same neck of the woods but never met till we started doing what we do,” Kate said, resting her chin on her hands while her elbows were propped up on the table. “I know that Venice and Riverside aren’t actually that close together-”

“Especially with the traffic in this town making it a longer trek,” I said.

“Still,” she said. “It’s cool, knowing that someone like you was relatively close this whole time.”

Her eyes…

“Zeke?” she asked. “You okay?”

“Hm? Yeah, why?”

“You went quiet and started staring at me,” she said, raising her head, putting her hands flat on the table, concern exuding from her frown. “Did I lay it on too thick?”

I shook my head. “Not at all.” I reached for her hand. “Honestly, I’m worried about doing the same, so why don’t we just be ourselves tonight, and see how that works for us?”

“I’d like that,” she smiled again. That smile…

The server, a middle-aged Indian man with pot-belly and an impressive beard, brought our samosas and a few different sauces over and set them between us. And with him came, very unexpectedly, some familiar faces.

“Zeke?” Olivia asked. She was flanked by her new teammates, Tom, a medium-height black man in his late twenties with a shaved head and massive hands, and Winston, a white boy with a wild mane of brown hair who looked like he was still in college. And standing next to them were Team Forest Fire and Team Sparky-Sparky-Boom. Forest Fire was three guys all in their thirties, each of them shredded and rocking full beards. Their captain, Lance Masterson, was a behemoth of a white man with a shaved head and some burn marks on his arms and neck; his teammates were Jake George, a tall black man with long dreads and nose ring, and Evan Hernandez, a shorter Mexican-American man built like a powerlifter. Team Spark-Sparky-Boom, meanwhile, was two people, a husband and wife team called David and Eileen Portman. David was comfortably in his early forties, hair more salt than pepper, clean shaven and thin as a rail; Eileen looked like she was in her late thirties, and was shorter and thicker, with long brown hair beginning to spark with silver.

A low-pitched groan escaped my throat, and I was surprised at how loud it was, only to look over and see that Kate was making roughly the same mouth-noise.

“H-h-hey,” I eventually choked out. “How y’all doing?”

“Not bad,” Masterson said.

“Not bad at all!” Hernandez said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Kate.

She blushed, then looked down at her food.

“So, this must be Kate,” Olivia said.

“Um, how do you know about-”

“Faith told me.”

“Faith told you what?” I said, my eyes narrow.

“Oh, just that you’d finally found a girl for you… Wait a sec. Wait wait wait a second. Calloway? Is that you under all that makeup?”

My eyes bulged with panic, and I saw Kate’s lips trembling and her hands wringing together. Oh, this was bad- she wasn’t ready to come out to everyone at work yet, she’d said as much to me in the car ride. She’d been planning to come out in two weeks when she had her next fight, with the same kind of surprise announcement that Faith had been afforded.

And now… Now she was having to come out to her work rivals by accident. For the third time in two weeks.

Goddammit.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice dropping low. Then, in her higher, breathier voice, she said, “Yes. It’s me. My preferred name is Kate, pronouns are she/her.”

Olivia’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, so you’re a trans too?” Mrs. Portman said.

I died inside a little bit.

“I, uh, yeah. I’m a trans woman,” Kate said.

“Wow, two of you in the tournament this year, huh? What are the odds?” Mrs. Portman said. “And this isn’t a publicity stunt?”

“Dear, hush, that’s rude,” Mr. Portman said, playfully swatting his wife on the arm, blissfully unaware of the psychic damage he and his wife had just inflicted on Kate.

“No,” Kate said, eyes dropping low, fingers drumming nervously on the table. Oooohhhh dear. “I’m just… I’m a woman.”

“Hey, listen, it’s nice to see you all, but Kate and I were just trying to have a nice, quiet dinner,” I said. “Alone. As in just the two of us-”

“That’s fine, broseph,” Masterson said, “We can all take that big table outside, leave you two to your date.”

“I’d appreciate that a lot,” I nodded, putting a metric ton of emphasis behind each syllable.

“As would I,” Kate said. Practically squeaked. Must… Protect… At all costs.

“No problem, brosephine,” Masterson said. “You look great, bee-tea-dubs.”

They all cleared out and headed for the massive rectangular longtable outside… Except Olivia, who remained standing exactly where she was in front of us with her brow creased and her hands on her hips and her jaw slack.

“Uh, Olivia, you coming with?” Tom asked while standing in the doorway, with an ‘aw shit here we go again’ expression on his face.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Olivia said.

Tom sighed and let the door close as he stepped outside. You tried, Tom. You tried.

“Can, uh, I help you with something?” I said, trying not to get too distressed by Kate’s thousand-yard stare. Given that she’d only a few days prior called out and challenged Olivia in front of a screaming crowd while on camera and then immediately proceeded to have a massive panic attack… I didn’t like what this was almost certainly doing to her brain.

“I just… When Faith said you’d found someone, this wasn’t what I expected,” Olivia said. “Does she… She knows who Kate really is, right?”

“Yeah, she does,” I said, creasing my own brow, “Why do you ask?”

“I just… I really just… Calloway? Seriously?! Calloway?!” Olivia said. “Of all freaking people, you choose Calloway over Faith?!”

“I’m sitting right here, you know,” Kate said.

“R-right. Sorry, I… You look nice,” Olivia said.

“Thanks,” Kate said. “Just, uh, quick question: why do you care?”

“Because I care about Faith,” Olivia said.

“Right, sure you do,” Kate said. “You care so much about the girl you brutally dumped in the most vulnerable moment of her life. Right. Definitely. Absolutely.”

“Also, why would Faith care?” I said, attempting to navigate the conversation away from Kate’s (admittedly accurate) criticism of Olivia. “She and Kate have patched things up- they’re friends now.”

“Really?” Olivia said.

“Yes, really,” Kate said. “She and I hung out literally all day today. She helped me pick out this dress, helped me with my voice. She and I are fine. And she’s fine with this.”

“Oh, honey,” Olivia said. “You don’t… Really believe that. Do you?”

Kate blinked, and her eyes went low again.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“It means-”

“Don’t,” Kate said, slamming her hand against the table.

Olivia took a step back. “Right. Sorry. It’s… Look, Zeke, I know you and I were never super close, but I gotta ask- is Faith really completely on board with all this?”

“Yes! Why wouldn’t she be?” Did someone slip me a crazy-pill? What the hell was going on?!

“I just… Can’t believe you would choose Ke… Kate over Faith,” Olivia said.

“It’s not a choice,” I said, grabbing Kate’s hand and squeezing it tightly, a fire lighting inside my head. “I like Kate. She’s a beautiful woman, inside and out.”

“Phrasing,” Kate said in a thirsty whisper, eyebrows raised.

“Babe, not now,” I said.

“Babe?” she said with a bright smile.

“Babe? Wow,” Olivia said. “This is… A lot to accept, tbh.”

“And why, exactly, do you get a say?” I said.

“I-”

“That was a rhetorical question,” I said. “You don’t. At all.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll back off,” Olivia said, holding up her hands, palms flat. “I just… Can’t help but think you’re making a mistake. You and Faith would be cute together, that’s all I’m saying.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growled.

“You would be,” Kate whispered.

“What?” I said. Seriously, WHAT?!

“Backing away now,” Olivia said. “I’m sorry for saying anything- you’re right, it’s really none of my business. But, uh, Calloway? I still remember what you said last Friday. I’ll see you in the battle box.”

And with that, she walked away. My head spun with confusion and anger at the implications of what she said, the insinuations, the freaking hubris. And on top of it all, Kate looked ready to cry again.

Our waiter finally came over with our food on a tray and set it down, but looked at us with a worried expression. “Would you two like this to go, by any chance?”

“Yes, please,” Kate and I said simultaneously.

We waited till the food was put in takeaway boxes, and we made a hasty departure. I was pretty sure I heard Mrs. Portman shouting something at us as we walked out the front door, but I wasn’t sure what. “Where should we take all this?” Kate asked.

“I have one idea, if you’re up for it,” I said, with a grin I hoped would be the first step to salvaging this evening.

We headed for Dockweiler Beach, only a few miles from the restaurant, basically deserted in the waning hours of the evening before it was closed to the public. Waves lapped against the sand in a steady, drawling rhythm, and the rich, relaxing scent of seawater filled the air. We sat on a blanket Kate kept in her truck, eating our food while watching the tide crashing into the shore and the setting sun casting an orange-gold glow over everything. Kate had tied her hair back while we ate, but loose strands kept blowing about from the seabreeze and colliding with her face.

I reached over and brushed a strand back, and she smiled at me. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m, uh, sorry about what happened.”

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault,” she said. “Honestly, you handled it really well. Way better than I would have in your position.”

“And what position is that?”

“The guy’s. You’re… You’re a really good guy, Zeke Underhill,” she said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

I laughed in spite of myself. “That’s nice of you to say. I… I’m not really used to hearing it,” I admitted, slumping my shoulders.

“I find that hard to believe. You’re such a gentleman.”

“I… The thing is,” I started. Oh boy, I was about to admit this to her. This was big. I rarely talked about this. Not even with Faith. “... My parents… Are not the types to give out praise often, and a lot of it had to do with them thinking I wasn’t living up to their expectations of what a man was supposed to be. My Mom… Well, she’s English, she’s got all these old-fashioned, old-world ideas about men and women. She sent me to my room when I cried at a movie once when I was seven. My dad wasn’t much better- kind of a rough and tumble man’s man type. When I didn’t make my high school’s basketball team in ninth grade, he reamed me out for half an hour straight. Never mind the fact that I was short and fat back then. Which they both reminded me of constantly.”

“Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry,” Kate said, putting down her food and placing her hand on my shoulder. I gave it a squeeze. She continued, “My parents have always been so chill and supportive. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to… To grow up with that instead of what I had.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Honestly, I’m mostly over it at this point. I moved out for college when I was eighteen and never looked back. The only thing that really still gets to me is how hypocritical they were about everything. My dad… He’s a total pig, cheats on my mom constantly, and Mom just drinks to forget it every time the proof is thrown in her face. They’re both so full of shit, but I still… I still have this fear sometimes, that they’re right, that I’m not good enough, that there’s something I’m doing wrong, that…”

“That?”

“... That I’ll be a cheater like my dad, constantly balancing multiple girls, stringing along someone I’m supposed to be committed to. I think… I think that’s what bugged me about what Olivia was insinuating, like I was somehow being disloyal to Faith. Which is ridiculous, because… I… And she doesn’t even… And I’m not-”

“Not what?” Kate said, wrapping her arms around me.

“I’m not with her. I probably won’t ever be with her,” I said.

“... You really like her, don’t you?”

“... I’m not sure you want me to answer that question, Katie.”

“You already have,” she said. “It’s kinda obvious.”

“I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kate said, nuzzling my shoulder. “You’re allowed to like more than one person at the same time. And you’ve liked her for a while, I’m not surprised I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“... Second prize.”

“You’re not,” I said, turning around and putting my hands on her cheeks. “Listen to me, Kate Calloway. I recognize we’ve only just started really getting to know each other, but in that time, you’ve shown yourself to be… Amazing. Caring. Funny and thoughtful. Beautiful. I… I don’t know if I deserve you, but I’d like… To keep seeing you like this. To get to know you better, and to hold your hand while you go on this journey.”

Tears streamed out her eyes, and she bit her lower lip before saying, “Would you… Would you still say that if Faith liked you back?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. “Faith is gay.”

“...”

I blinked. “Faith is gay, right?”

“I…,” Kate stammered, pulling out of my hands. “I’ve said too much.”

I blinked one long, sustained blink as the gears turned in my head. Faith… Wasn’t gay? And she… It… This made it seem like…

Like she…

No.

Just, just… No.

There was a beautiful girl who I liked in front of me, and I wasn’t gonna let her slip away. “You’re fine. And even if she did, it wouldn’t matter.”

“You… You really mean that?”

“She’s not here with me right now, on this beach, sharing this meal, this evening,” I said. “Life moves forward, not back. If Faith really liked me, she should have said something. You, though, you said something. You made the first move, and… God, I’ve had to do that myself so many times, only for it to fall apart. Do you have any idea how good it makes me feel, that you like me enough to be the one to push things forward? How special that makes me feel? Because it’s amazing… You make me feel… Amazing, Kate.”

She looked at me with those big blue eyes, shining in the multicolored light of dusk as the sun set over the horizon, her red lips spread wide, hope and astonishment and joy radiating out of every inch of her. She gulped, and then she grabbed my lapel and said, “I’m gonna push things forward again now. Is that okay?”

I didn’t answer. I just went for it, pressing her lips against mine, melting into her as we made out on the beach while the sun finished setting. My heart was alight with ecstasy, my lust burning at maximum temperature. I didn’t know for sure if I liked her more than I liked Faith. I just knew that in that moment, there was nobody I’d rather be with, nobody I’d rather be kissing, nobody I’d rather be getting to know.

For just one moment, everything was crystal clear.

“You really had to ask?” I said as I pressed my forehead against hers, reveling in her aftertaste.

She smiled. Oh, Lord, that smile. “I just had to make sure.”

We carried on like that for a while longer, her hands touching mine, my lips touching hers, our bodies interlocking.

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baeddelzebub · 1 month

Text

Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 11

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Thank you so much for your continued support of my work! Every little bit helps me to keep going :)

And now, back to our regularly scheduled nerdy romcom shenanigans!

***

Zeke

24 Hours Earlier

I walked down the aisle of a RadioShack in Northridge. I’d meant to come here earlier to scavenge for parts, but I’d let myself pass out on the couch again texting with Kate all night. It was like… The third night in a row where that had happened. She sent me a meme, then I sent her one back, then she sent me another one…

This had been happening basically nonstop since we hung out earlier in the week. And it was… It was…

It felt great.

But there was a part of me that wasn’t okay with how great it felt. Kate was part of the competition, and besides… Part of me felt like I was betraying Faith by hanging out with Kate so much, by starting to…

The other night we’d been watching Gundam and laughed at the same profoundly stupid bit of unintentional comedy. She’d laughed first, as if she’d stumbled upon her favorite sort of inside joke, and it was just infectious. She giggled, and I started laughing with her, and it fed into each other, and we wound up having to pause the show so we could both laugh. Her dad wound up knocking on the door and asking if we were both okay, and that just made us laugh harder.

The night had worn on, and she kept stealing glances over at me. I don’t think she knew I noticed, but… She was looking at me with these great big puppy dog eyes, sparkling blue even in the dim lighting of her bedroom.

She’d done all this for me. She’d invited me into her home, into her bedroom no less, and gotten gussied up for me. I never used to notice stuff like that, until Faith came out and she started dressing up more, had us start doing that as part of our gimmick. Now I… I realized that Kate didn’t have to dress up and put on makeup and do her hair for me, but she had. And she couldn’t stop staring at me, smiling whenever I smiled.

When she stopped laughing, she was leaning against my shoulder. I didn’t do anything to correct that. She was… Not what I’d expected. She was warm and soft and sweet, with a beautiful smile and a beautiful laugh. We found the same stupid stuff funny, and talking to her was… Easy.

Easier than talking to Faith.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Objectively, I knew I’d been repressing some latent attraction to Faith for a while now, but she didn’t like guys, and besides, we worked together and lived together, so it would just be awkward if anything went wrong.

And when I looked at Kate that night, I… I felt something, and I was worried it was stronger than what I felt for Faith. But that’s ridiculous- I had to be projecting my feelings for Faith onto Kate. I didn’t know her nearly as well, and…

That was when my phone rang as I walked down the sterile white tile floor of the RadioShack, combing through shelves of electronics. It was Kate. Because of course it was.

“Hey,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Well… I… Ran into Faith today,” she said, in her practiced, high-pitched voice. She was getting better at it, and I was proud of her for working at it so consistently even when she still wasn’t ready to completely admit she was trans.

I stopped dead in my tracks. “Did you?”

“Yeah. She came into my parents’ shop,” Kate said. “I was, uh, in girl-mode.”

“How… Did that go?” I asked, choking on my own dread.

“Really well,” Kate said. “She gave me some pointers on my voice. We talked about work, clothes, and cute girls.”

“Oh!” I said, a massive surge of relief going through me. “That’s great!”

“Yeah, we both decided that she and I should try to get along if you and I are gonna…”

She trailed off, and I swore I heard my pulse racketing up with each second I waited for her to finish that sentence. Finally, I bit the bullet and said, “Gonna what?”

“... I’m not sure yet,” she replied. “What do you want me to say?”

The words nearly choked me, but I managed to spit them out: “I’m not sure yet either.”

“That’s fair,” she said. “Well then… We can figure it out together.”

I smiled. “I like this plan.”

“I’m excited to be a part of it,” she finished for me.

“Yeah,” I said. “And hey- if nothing else, I like having you as a friend.”

“Same,” she said.

And honestly, in that moment, it was all she needed to say.

***

I noticed Kate’s hands trembling as she left the battle box, and I leaned forward inside the dugout as she walked- practically ran- back into the pit.

“We should check on her,” Faith said.

“Yeah,” I said.

We both stood up and rushed after her, dodging Team Flipper wheeling their bot through the tunnel for their match with Team Jolly Roger. We made it to the end of the tunnel before I heard a familiar voice call out, “Guys, wait up a sec!”

I froze, and so did Faith.

I turned around slowly, and so did Faith.

Olivia was walking towards us down the tunnel.

My eyes went wide as I put myself between my best friend and her ex-girlfriend. “What do you want?”

Olivia was taken aback, but she stopped in front of me and said, “I just-”

“Actually, I don’t care,” I snapped. “Just get out of here-”

“Let her talk,” Faith said in a hollow voice, slowly walking forward with her eyes aimed strictly at the floor.

I heaved an angry sigh through my nose, and then moved aside and let Faith face Olivia.

“Hi, Faith,” Olivia said.

My eyes bulged with shock at the sound of Olivia using Faith’s real name, and Faith’s head snapped up and she locked eyes on Olivia instantly. “Hi, Liv.”

“I just wanted to say,” Olivia said, “That it was a good fight. And I’m sorry for how I acted before. And how I acted tonight. I didn’t mean to go all ice queen on you, I just… I froze up when I saw you, saw how… Beautiful you looked. I felt horrible. And I was too cowardly to face you, to say anything to you. I guess… I dunno, I guess hearing Calloway decide to put a target on my back made me realize I’d gone too far. Like, if that idiot thinks I came off as a heel, I probably came off as a real heel. And I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but… I hope eventually that maybe you will.”

Faith was too stunned to speak. She let her jaw hang loose while she stood there, but eventually, she managed a gracious nod.

Relief surged through me once again, to an almost incomprehensible level.

“That’s all I had to say,” Olivia said. “Like I said, good fight. I’ll see you both around.”

And with that, she walked away.

Faith still didn’t say anything, but once Olivia had vanished from sight, she turned around, and I saw the happiest, purest smile I’d ever seen from her spring to life on her face while tears of what had to be joy leaked out of her eyes.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Faith said. “I think… I think I’m okay.”

“Good,” I smiled.

“Let’s go find Kate,” Faith said.

She darted off down the tunnel, and I chased after her.

We scoured the pit looking for Kate, doing a full circuit before we came back to the empty swath where her workstation had been. We looked, and looked, and we couldn’t find her.

“Excuse me? Zeke? Faith?” came another familiar voice.

I heard Faith mutter ‘milf’ under her breath as Mrs. Calloway came up to us.

“Have you seen… You know?” I asked.

“Yes. She’s in a state, though. I think you should talk to her, Zeke,” Mrs. Calloway said.

“Uh… I… I dunno if I’m qualified,” I said. “Faith though-”

“Both of you, then,” Mrs. Calloway said. “Please, come with me.”

Faith nodded, and so did I.

We followed her out of the arena, and into that side parking lot once again. It all came back to here. A damn parking lot. Wasn’t sure what to do with that information, but I had more important things to worry about.

Mrs. Calloway guided us over to Kate’s black pick-up truck. Mr. Calloway was there, leaning against the back of it. Kate sat in the trunk, curled into a fetal position, head on her knees, not moving or saying anything.

Mr. Calloway walked up to me and put an arm on my shoulder. “She asked for you specifically. Please be careful with her, young man.”

I nodded, the unspoken implication of ‘if you hurt her, I’ll kill you and make it look like an accident’ ringing loud and clear.

“Same to you, miss,” he said to Faith. Fair enough- Kate must have told them about her and Faith’s… More antagonistic relationship.

I leaned against the back of the trunk and looked at the person… The girl curled up inside it. Her eyes were wide and glassy. “Hey.”

She grunted.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I…,” Kate trailed off. “I did it again.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “You won a fight- isn’t that a good thing?”

“Not that,” Kate said, finally blinking and making eye contact with me. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, they just… Looked so defeated. “I went too far. I… I did what I always do, but I went too far this time.”

“But you hate Haverfield,” I said, furrowing my brow.

“Yeah, but when I did what I did, I felt like… I felt like somebody else. And I didn’t like that person,” Kate said. “It felt like someone else’s skin was on me and it felt disgusting. I felt disgusting. It doesn’t make sense- I used to do this all the time and felt nothing.”

“Nothing?” Faith said, climbing into the trunk with Kate and sitting down next to her.

“Yeah, it was just… Something I did. I would go hammy and act all tough and antagonistic and… And…”

“Macho?” Faith offered.

“... Maybe a little.”

“A little?” Faith cocked an eyebrow.

“... A lot,” Kate said.

“And now when you do that, it stings, doesn’t it? Like you’re putting on a mask that doesn’t fit you anymore?” Faith said.

“Yeah,” Kate said.

That was when it clicked for me- just how much of an act Kate’s heel routine truly had been, and that maybe… She hadn’t actually enjoyed it that much, she just didn’t know how to stop. Like there hadn’t been any other options she’d been aware of, but now…

I climbed into the trunk too, and Faith and I flanked Kate on both sides. An instinct, and impulse, ran through me, an electric understanding that I needed to put my arm around her. Every part of me wanted to, but… Something stopped me. Like it was a line I was too afraid to cross, that now wasn’t the right moment, that-

Kate tilted to the side and leaned against my arm. My eyes bulged and I blinked rapidly, unsure of what to do. Faith’s face went through an identical journey, and I could see gears turning inside her head.

Then she nodded at me, and gestured to my arm, the electric sensation came back, guided my arm around Kate’s shoulder and brought her close, held her tight. She was warm, and she was big, but she felt so damn small. I knew she was strong, but at that moment, I knew she was letting herself be fragile and vulnerable.

It was crazy, how much she’d opened up to me, and so quickly, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. She needed someone outside her family, someone who she could trust implicitly as she figured out her true self and started showing it to the rest of the world. Faith had known me for years when she’d come out, but Calloway and I… We’d mostly just avoided each other. I’d kept to myself last season- Faith and Olivia were the power couple face of our team, I was just a weirdo hanger-on. But Kate had been alone.

And she’d opened up to me. Not entirely on purpose, but… The real her, underneath the surface, was a lot more delicate than the rough and tumble exterior would suggest. Showing that to someone, let alone someone who’d cursed you out in this exact same spot, must have been terrifying. But as far as she was concerned, I’d done everything right, and she’d made a friend. She trusted me.

I had to do everything in my power not to betray that trust. And I had to do everything in my power to keep that beautiful, fragile girl who was finally stepping into the light after a lifetime stumbling around in the dark safe and happy.

“What’s going through your head right now, Katie?” I asked.

Her cheek was pressed into my ribcage. Her parents had stepped away, her dad looming with his back turned a dozen yards off while her mother had darted off somewhere else. For practical purposes, it was just the three of us. “I feel like I don’t deserve to go by that name.”

“Don’t be ridiculous- of course you do,” Faith said.

“But I… I’m not good at being a girl. I act all and angry and aggressive and loud and obnoxious to get attention-”

“I hate to break this to you, but none of those are inherently masculine traits,” Faith said.

“And it served its purpose for you,” I said. “It got you where you needed to go. But you don’t need to be that person anymore.”

“Then why did I fall back on it like that?” Kate whispered. “Why did I fall back on being an asshole without even thinking?”

“You were… You were upset,” I said. “Haverfield got under your skin. It happens.”

“It shouldn’t happen.”

“So, what, you expect to be perfect all the time?” I asked. “That’s not how it works.”

“He’s right,” Faith said. “You’re… Look, you’re never going to be a perfect picture of femininity all the time, but neither is anyone else.”

“Maybe I… Maybe I want to be,” Kate said. “Do I deserve to be? To have that opportunity? Why should someone like me get to be that, ever?”

“Because it’s what you want,” I said. “And you’re good at it. Look, I know you’re not… A hundred percent convinced yet, but you’re really good at being a girl. It comes naturally to you. And you’ve just gone right for it. It’s the same with this job- you told me you had to put yourself through community college and save every penny to build your robot, and you did all that yourself.”

“I had help.”

“Everyone always does,” I said. “What’s important is that you went for what you want on your own terms. That’s who you are and I… I admire that about you.”

“You… You do?” She said, looking up at me with those big, hopeful, sparkling blue eyes.

“Yeah,” I said. “I… I spent my whole childhood doing whatever my parents wanted me to do. If I didn’t obey them completely at all times, they came down on me like a ton of bricks, always telling me how I’d only be good enough to hack it if I did exactly what they said. Even when I finally disobeyed them and joined the robotics team in college, it wasn’t even my idea- Faith and Olivia asked me to join because they wanted someone else to help out. You’ve got a drive that most people don’t, Kate. And it’s really something special. So, if you want to be Kate, I know that you’ll go for it. And you’ll be…”

“... What?”

“Even more amazing and beautiful than you are already,” I said, astonished at my boldness. When the hell did I get this articulate? I believed every word I was saying, but I usually had more of a filter than this.

That was when I noticed Faith had scampered off somewhere. It was just Kate and I in that trunk. Her father had gotten even further away, giving us…

All the time and space we needed.

“I… I think I don’t want to be Keith anymore,” Kate said. “I thought I did, but he just feels… Like someone I don’t need to be anymore, and like someone I don’t know why I ever wanted to be.”

“So, what do you want?” I asked.

“I want to be Kate, even if I don’t deserve to be her.”

“You deserve it,” I said. “You’re not a bad person. You just get a little carried away sometimes. Everyone does.”

“Thank you,” she said, snuggling my chest.

An iron spike of shame tore through my heart, shattering the bliss. There was a part of me, an irrational one, that felt like I was betraying Faith. But Faith wasn’t into me like that; if she was, she surely would have told me by now. There was nothing to betray. And she’d given us space just now to…

To…

“There’s one other thing I want,” Kate said. “But I’m not sure if I should go for it.”

“I feel like you will anyway,” I said, my heartbeat skyrocketing.

“I really wanna kiss you,” she said.

I gulped, my chest tightening and fireworks going off in my mind. “I… I wanna kiss you too,” I said, the words slipping free before I could stop them. “But I’m not sure… I don’t think now’s the time. You were just having a panic attack, and I’d feel like I was taking advantage of you.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “That’s very reasonable. I understand completely.”

“Thank you.”

“But… I think I’m catching feelings for you, Zeke,” she said. “I didn’t expect to- I didn’t even realize I liked guys until pretty recently. It’s all so new to me still, but… You helped me realize who I am. And you’re so kind and respectful and goofy and laid-back and… And handsome and it… And you…”

My impulses betrayed me, and I kissed her on the top of her head, the lavender scent of her shampoo wafting through my nose. “How’s that for a compromise?” I said. “Because I think I might be catching feelings for you too.”

“And you’re smooth, too,” she said. “Dammit. That’s perfect. This is… For right now, this is perfect.”

“We can figure the rest out together,” I said.

She smiled at me, as if it were all I’d needed to say.

“Can we stay here like this a little longer?” she asked.

“As long as you want,” I said, holding her close.

I knew I needed to get back to Faith, but… Goddammit, in that moment, I never wanted to leave this spot, never wanted to let Kate go.

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