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maría is a queen she’s an icon, she’s a traumatized teenage girl who lost her home and family twice and rose from the ashes as a ruthless general willing to do whatever it took to reclaim her home and get revenge. she’s manipulative, she’s deeply emotionally intelligent and vulnerable and kind, she’s an unapologetic villain, she’s the most morally righteous in the entire saga, she’s completely unhinged just for the fun of it, she’s the most coldly intelligent person imaginable, she’s in love with jasper, she’s using him for his power, she’s literally everything pLEASE
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BILLY BLACK IS A VAMPIRE SLAYER CONFIRMED
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sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it
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i need someone to rewrite the whole twilight saga and fix all Stephenie Meyer's mistakes
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Desperately ready for Bella to NOT find the happiness she wanted becoming a vampire.
For Renesmee to grow and move on, for Alice to loose interest in her no-longer-human plaything, for Esme distant tepid motherhood to ring as hollow as a 26-year-old babysitting, for Edward to fall into his brooding self-hate again, because it was never about whether or not he was worthy of love, it was crippling certainty that he wasn’t worthy of heaven.
When her Forks classmates finally grow older than Carlisle, and for Bella to realize a man in his early-20s FOREVER is not a God-like leader, and that the normal, everyday domestic content her cohorts find seem realer, and truer to her than the carefully curated glass house.
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"next time" you spawn a demon baby that catalyzes a world war between the Volturi & the Cullens + their allies. sit down, Bella
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girl please, Charlie Swan is Team Werewolf and you know it
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very tone-deaf of Bella to rage about not aging while her best friend explains all the ways in which vampires ruined his human life. yikes girl. maybe now's not the time to make this about you?
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saving jacob masterpost
a scene by scene rewrite of new moon, in response to stephenie meyer’s character assassination of jacob black
part one
part two
part three
part four
part five
part six
part seven
part eight
part nine
while you’re here, check out the Quileute Move to Higher Ground campaign, their Truth vs. Twilight page and @renegadepack‘s excellent anti-racism carrd!
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So does Jacob still see renesmee as a demon? Or does the imprint somehome make her beautiful to him or does he still see her as a demon but is forced to be obsessed with her
Well, we get 0.02 seconds of Jacob's point of view in Breaking Dawn after he imprints (before which he was readying himself to murder her and Rosalie) and he uh doesn't seem to be thinking much at all. Essentially, what he says is Renesmee is now his entire universe and nothing else matters to him.
And that's it, that's the last we hear from Jacob Black's point of view.
What I'm getting at here is that Jacob isn't home enough to think things like whether or not Renesmee is beautiful or whether he even wanted to imprint on her.
All that matters is she exists.
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What if Jacob didn’t actually imprint but instead Nessie just used her secret gift of compulsion to make him think he did so that he wouldn’t kill her? What happens when one day it wears off or she “releases” it? How does Jacob react? How about Bella?
I’m asking this because I still believe Renesmee has another gift that makes everyone fall in love with her and willing to die for her.
Funny that, I have that theory too.
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I'd be very interested in the differences between book and movie Carlisle, like the one you did for Aro. If you've already done one sorry, I didn't see it when looking through tags though
(The Aro post referenced.)
First of, let me say how sorry I am that you waited so long for a reply. In my defense, I had to rewatch the movies first. Then I had to recover from watching the movies.
There’s a part 1 to this post, explaining my thoughts on the actor they cast for the part.
First, I’ll just say that I think the movies made two big mistakes with Carlisle. These two mistakes are the main reasons why I disown movie!Carlisle to the extent I do.
One, he became very Stepford. This is the big issue with the casting: he now comfortably fits the dad role, and he never deviates from it. As all the Cullens (well, all the characters in the movies, not just the Cullens) are flattened out and made hollowed versions of themselves. They become a Stepford family. Why do these people stick together and play house? Because they’re the Cullens. What will you see if you poke beneath the surface? Nothing.
I know Carlisle does not appear to deviate from the dad role in the books either, what I mean is that he is a person in those books. He was a person in his own right long before any of the Cullens had even been born, he had friends everywhere and a life of his own, and he continues to lead this social butterfly life with his family by his side. When he steps out of the house he does not blink out of existence. He is a family man, but he’s other things as well. Movie Carlisle is not.
Two, he’s barely in these movies, to the point where he could have been cut. What actually is his character? What drives him? Who is this blond guy who has taken the “father” slot in the Cullen household?
If you’ve only seen the movies, you sincerely won’t know.
Yes, he is a tertiary character in the books, but Dumbledore and Voldemort are tertiary to Harry Potter in the same way. They have no screen time, but remove Dumbledore and your story starts scrambling. Carlisle is tertiary, but he is still an important character. He’s the reason the Cullens are the way they are, why Edward is the way he is, he is the heart of the family. Take him out of the equation, or neuter him like the movies did, and the Cullens are like an old tradition that once meant something. They go through the motions of Cullen-ing because that’s what they do, what they’ve always done, but they have no deeper reason to do it. They drink animal blood and go to high school because- well, because fuck you audience, that’s why. Why exactly is Carlisle a doctor?
Carlisle of the movies explains none of these things, is at no point important, checks none of the points book Carlisle did. He’s a placeholder, not a character.
Even little things, like book!Carlisle gathering his friends in Breaking Dawn, makes sense since we know he spent centuries exploring the world and getting to know other vampires. Movie Carlisle spawned into existence with no mention of any vampire network, so who knows where he found all these friends.
With that, let’s go through his failings movie by movie.
Twilight
Carlisle of the first movie is barely in it.
He is introduced to us as a dashing doctor, alright, so far, so good.
Then, when Bella learns he is a vampire, he acts exactly the same as ever. Book Carlisle didn’t, he kept his distance and was very set on not scaring the human:
 They smiled in welcome, but made no move to approach us. Trying not to frighten me, I guessed.
"Carlisle, Esme," Edward's voice broke the short silence, "this is Bella."
"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle's step was measured, careful as he approached me. He raised his hand tentatively, and I stepped forward to shake hands with him. (Twilight, page 153)
This is a vampire, a very kind and thoughtful vampire who is in “don’t make Edward’s girlfriend run for the hills” mode. Movie Carlisle greenlit the Cullens all making her a meal instead. This is veering into my hating on the movies again, but you see how this is a different decision that in turn points to different characterization.
Movie Carlisle then calls Rosalie a “nice kitty” and I can only take that as a homage to his backstory in the book because the only explanation for that line is that he is on some level still suicidal. “Nice kitty” is what he says, but what he really means is “kill me”.
The James debacle unfolds, and Rosalie demands to know why they’re all risking their lives for this random human. Movie Carlisle shuts her down, there’s not even a discussion. In Twilight (To cut the movie some modicum of slack I’m not using Midnight Sun (much), since Meyer hadn’t written it yet at the time of the movie being made), their interaction is off-screen and I’ll admit that Rosalie is glaring at Carlisle when Bella reenters the room, but going by his M.O. when it comes to settling differences (giving Bella an explanation as to why Edward won’t turn her, using reason to talk Rosalie out of hurting Bella after the truck accident, throwing every argument he can think of at the wall in the hopes something will stick early in Midnight Sun when he wants Edward to leave Forks, being the person Alice sends Jasper to when Jasper needs to be talked out of doing something rash) it would be out of character for him to just shut her down the way he did in the movies.
Lastly, we have his “REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE” moment when Edward is trying and failing to fight James, which was just bizarre. 
The worst failing of this movie’s Carlisle, though, was that his backstory was cut. Now, it was a myopic story centered on Bella, so her human life versus the vampire world were a big focal point in it. We were treated to the full small town routine, with the Cullens as a giant juxtaposition to all of this. The point was the new world Bella was entering and the beautiful boy who opened the door, not the Cullens. It doesn’t seem to have been a movie that expected to have sequels and become a franchise, either, it acted very much like an indie one-off. Even so I posit that Carlisle’s backstory should have been included. The movie didn’t do the whole “mundane vs. fantastical world” thing very well, for one thing. The Cullens acted human, looked human, their house looked like a regular house, and their baseball was sped up at times but otherwise human.
And so, when the Cullens’ characters and lifestyle is never explained, they’re just vampires who live exactly like humans because they jive like that, the end result is that… well, they’re human. Bella isn’t entering a new world at all, she’s just dating a weird kid whose anemic family all follow a special diet.
On to New Moon.
He’s barely in this one, literally this time and not just figuratively, but he gets to be butchered all the same.
We learn he was in Volterra… sort of. There’s a flashback of the Volturi and Facinelli is in it. His part consists of him looking miserable and wishing he was somewhere, anywhere, else. The movie never explains what he was doing there. Edward’s narration says nothing to explain, and then later in the movie Aro (whom book fans will remember reminisced fondly about Carlisle) makes no mention of him. One wonders why Facinelli was in that flashback at all, his presence in it served no purpose. (One wonders the same about the flashback itself. What did it add to the movie?)
I’ve explained in this post how the movie flipped his religion and view on eternal damnation upside-down. Book Carlisle believes he has a soul, movie Carlisle doesn’t. Book and movie Carlisle are not the same person.
Then we get the vote scene, where Carlisle rather effectively ignores Bella. Now, he did address Edward first when he gave his vote in the book too, so that’s technically being true to the original, but book Carlisle then turns to Bella. It’s just so dismissive in the movies, the feminist in me gets all uppity. And, when combined with all the other things, little and small - then yes, I’m putting that little moment on my list of “ugh, movie Carlisle” things.
Eclipse. Oh boy oh dear, oh Eclipse.
Carlisle has a litany of shortcomings. These are brought on by the movie itself being terrible, he’s only a symptom of the disease, but all the same he’s a damning symptom that truly shows how ill the patient is.
In no particular order:
He worries that if the newborn army keeps wreaking chaos in Seattle, the Volturi are going to get involved. Wouldn’t want that.
Book!Carlisle very much wanted the Volturi to step in and do their damn jobs.
He never calls Tanya for backup, so we lose book!Carlisle’s refusal to let the Denali harm the Quileutes at the cost of his own family's safety.
When Jacob is injured after the werewolf attack, he is Mr. In Control of the Situation, offering his savvy medical opinion on Jacob’s condition. Book!Carlisle stared at this injured horse-sized supernatural wolf, stared some more, weakly joked “I’m not a veterinarian”, and went for the trial and error approach. Movie!Carlisle later talks about how Jacob will burn through his morphin, which- how would he know that? He acts so authoritative about things he has no way of knowing, his book counterpart did not.
When the Volturi arrive he's stand-offish to Jane, another characterization choice that diverges from his book self.
Breaking Dawn part 1.
He was barely in the movie. My only recollection of him is of me jumping in my seat at the horrific makeup and wig, and then him performing some examination on Bella.
Book!Carlisle had two moments in particular that come to mind during Bella’s pregnancy, and they are his assurance to Jacob that he won’t abort Bella’s fetus against her will, and his refusal to put Jacob and the Clearwaters in a situation where they’d have to fight Sam’s pack. Both very telling of his character and integrity, both lost in the movie adaption.
The fact that the movie cut those scenes is additionally damning if we look at everything else they cut from his character. The decision to make him a one-note set piece is a consistent one.
Breaking Dawn part 2, things start falling apart. 
Carlisle of the books having friends from around the world makes sense because he’s very old and has been all around the world. Movie!Carlisle has no past known to the audience, apart from one weird, unexplained and never mentioned again flashback to Volterra three movies ago. Carlisle’s esoteric friends spawn into existence because the plot needs him to have esoteric friends.
Edward thanks Carlisle for this beautiful life Carlisle gave him, and it means nothing because the two have barely interacted in these movies, Carlisle is important to Edward because this scene just now is telling us that he is important to Edward. Carlisle hasn’t shown any conflict or doubts about turning Edward either, he hasn’t received characterization enough for that, so what Edward’s words mean to him is a mystery to me. Please, show me even one scene in this same movie, or even in the entire quintology, that built up to this moment, I’ll be waiting. The exchange is just a cheap shot at pathos.
Carlisle of the book spent much of this storyline fretting over the coming confrontation, and praying with every fibre of his being that there would be a peaceful resolution. I don’t think movie Carlisle ever so much as voices the sentiment.
The confrontation with the Volturi comes around, and hoo boy. 
Carlisle is off to a great start by reminding Aro of a friendship that Aro definitely needs to be reminded of, because per the movies it never happened. He then kills any hope of association with book!Carlisle when he decides to start the fight. Book Carlisle quadrupled down on pacifism, movie Carlisle rushes into glorious battle to kill Aro himself.
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In summation, Carlisle is unrecognizable in the movies. Every little thing that made him who he was in the books has been lost or flanderized, with no in between. What’s left is a golem who- well, he doesn’t walk, talk, and act like Carlisle, but he insists he’s Carlisle anyway.
Movie Carlisle is one of the many reasons why I don’t take these movies seriously or consider them canon, or even canon adjacent.
(Post edited on the 18th of October for clarifications. A few paragraphs bothered me.)
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au where rosalie kills carlisle for dooming her to a life she didn’t want
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bellasoutrageousflavor · 11 months
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Isabella Swan, Local Vampire Fucker & Werewolf Lover, wants you to know she's Cautious and Responsible
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bellasoutrageousflavor · 11 months
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Edward Cullen is loving in the way he broke your heart by lying to your face about how he doesn't love you anymore & how easily distracted he'll be when he's gone? he's loving in the way he makes you feel guilty for believing his lies in the first place?
Edward Cullen is unselfish in the way he puts you & his family in jeopardy by running off to the Volturi to kill himself the second he hears you're dead?
Edward Cullen is brilliant in the way he leaves you unprotected to die at the hands of Victoria and/or the werewolves? he's brilliant in the way he runs off to Volterra without confirming your death thinking there will be zero repercussions for him & his family for exposing their existence to a human?
Edward Cullen is decent in the way he exposes his world to you & then tries to shield you from it by lying to you? he's decent in the way his masochism forces you to walk on eggshells around him so he doesn't have to confront the pain he caused you by leaving? he's decent in the way he denies you the freedom to see your best friend who was there for you in your darkest hour? he's decent in the way he steals the battery out of your truck to ensure you don't see said best friend? he's decent in the way he guilts you for ripping out the gifted truck stereo with your bare hands because you couldn't stand the reminder of what he did?
ok
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bellasoutrageousflavor · 11 months
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bellasoutrageousflavor · 11 months
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If vampires get to sparkle in the sunlight then shapeshifters should get to glow in the moonlight. Cue Sam Uley finding Bella in the forest looking like a 7 ft tall glow stick
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