bitter-shy

[bitter-shy]

I'm so tired.

I'm so fucking tired.

[bitter-shy]

i love studying. i love writing. i love reading. i love learning languages. i love doing mathematics. i love wandering over some particular sum and trying to come up with formulas to solve it. i love physics. i love biology. i love chemistry. i love history. i love literature. i love learning.

not to achieve the perfect grades ever. but it just amazes me that there's so much to know and learn and write and read about in the universe. my curiosity wouldn't get enough of it.

[bitter-shy]

“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world inside you.”

— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

[bitter-shy]

“I thought it was some sort of divine punishment for being a child-killer, was to have my own child taken away from me. I would deserve it. I would deserve worse. But she is an innocent girl, and deserves death least of us all.

No one should be punished through their child. No one.”

[bitter-shy]

God, is this the end?

[bitter-shy]

Dear Diary,

Yes, my suitor became my boyfriend. I plan to introduce him to the fam as my boyfriend on my birthday.

#Dear Diary #entry 21

[bitter-shy]

God, I'm so tired.

It's that time of the term where final exams and final projects are needed to be finished. It actually is so tiring because despite having mixed classes (online and face-to-face) we still use a whole day to practice. Don't forget to mention the mental exhaustion during brainstorming, review, and the overwhelming tasks.

I went home late once after a whole day of practicing (dancing) for a subject and this was the conversation:

Me: I'm home (thinking my mom would have a new perspective since I got home late without my boyfriend) (also thinking they understand how tired I was)

Mom: you're late.

Me: sorry, it was the traffic

Mom: why are you always late?

Me: sorry, the practice was till five and we discussed another project for another subject till six

Mom: yeah, always like that, right? (Dismissing)

How can you love your child and not know how much they're dying slowly???

[bitter-shy]

Shit did became real

Shit is real once I start to post us with Hozier and Taylor Swift songs.

[bitter-shy]

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”

— Juliette Lewis

[bitter-shy]

Update about the green-flag guy that I'm going out with:

He is now my suitor. He shook hands with my parents, he gave them gifts (which I did recommend since he needed a bit push on what he was going to give lol)

Though we did have some rough patches a few months after, we are now going better and stronger.

He used to be only following my lead which he explained it was because he didn't want to do any mistake to our relationship. I used to bottle feeling up and not share it to anyone else, which I explained that I grew up doing that and I am comfortable with that setup.

Now he insists to do things for me even when I said I can handle it and even when I told him it's not needed. (P.S I really did needed it or wanted it)

Now, he became my human diary, he knows me so much more now and assures me he'll listen whenver I seem to draw back again.

I hope this goes even better. Because I would make him my boyfriend once I get my majorship in college.

#??????? tumblr #spilled ink #dear diary #Entry 20

[bitter-shy]

Dear Diary,

LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME. I DID NOT KNOW THIS IS WHAT YOU GAVE ME HAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU CAN NEVER TAKE ME AWAY FROM HIM. I WILL FIGHT WITH ZEUS FOR THAT.

#dear diary #Entry 19 #spilled ink #??????? tumblr #creative writing #tumblr

[bitter-shy]

Dear Diary,

I've never wanted to take care a man more than I want to for this one??? Like come here you big baby even though you act so manly and quiet in public. I love you.

Sincerely, OH MY GOWSH

#dear diary #Entry 18 #spilled ink #??????? tumblr #quotes

[bitter-shy]

Me to my friend: you sounded like the sound effects of Pou (the game)

My man: That's me! (referring to my nickname for him)

💀💀💀💀 Please that was so cute the way he said it

[bitter-shy]

I'm sososooo gonna marry this guy.

[bitter-shy]

The guy I'm dating told me that if I was a steak, I would still be mooing bcs that's how rare I am.

I don't know how I should feel abt my guy's jokes💀

[bitter-shy]

Iove how men really just do illegal shit but their "legal" age should be 21, while women are shamed to do same stuff when theirs would be 18.💀💀

[bitter-shy]

Oh my, Lord.

I've never cried abt someone loving me. How did he do that???