if you're cringing at the genre conventions of the genre you are writing in then why the hell are you writing in it. either have something substantial to say about those conventions or shut the hell up! i will not cringe alongside you at superhero powers and spaceship battles and big eldritch worms and bone magic. i came to this story to SEE that shit and I don't appreciate it when an author tries to pretend they're above the very things they're selling themselves on
At first Fabian refuses to interact with his and Fig’s new sibling but one day his mom is dealing with something in the other room and the baby is crying and so Fabian has to pick up the baby. So he picks up the baby, bouncing them gently, and says, “One day, eighteen years from now, I will fight you to the death.” Then the baby reaches up and curls their little hand around his finger and Fabian’s voice breaks, utterly in love with this tiny person, and says, “I will defeat you,” unconvincingly.
[image description: 2 large coloured gifs from Kevin Can Fuck Himself.
Gif 1: From 108, Allison smacks the back of her couch in frustration, and says, “You…you’ve raised me from the dead,” to Patty off screen.
Gif 2: From 203, Patty pulls Allison out of the empty grave she fell into.]
“Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.”
— Daniel M. Lavery, How To Respond To Criticism (via boringoldraphael)