codswalloping

[codswalloping]

Listen All Systems Red is so so funny from Gurathins perspective imagine you grew up with Space Socialism and was hired to go help some pal with science but you weren't allowed to go unless you rented AmaTeslas Torment Nexus Alexa Dot and then when you get there you find out a whole continent of people got annihilated by their Tourment Nexus rentals so you take a moment to check yours quickly and find out it already had disengaged its Don't Kill People box, the only thing you've ever been told prevented them from mass homiciding their clients, something that LITERALLY just happened to people you knew a day ago, and when you say to your fellow socialist doctors HEY I think our Tourment Nexus is fucked up and it's files said it killed dozens of people barely a year ago and we should probably get the hell away from it the same doctors are like look at what you're saying. You're hurting the Tourment Nexus' feelings. The Tourment Nexus is just a little construct who likes Netflix Gurathin stop antagonizing it on the plane ride.

#murderbot #not wrong

[codswalloping]

an inventory of anthony j. crowley’s flat

14 stress plants™ whose dirt has absorbed so much anxiety it would send anyone who touched it to hospital

1 lectern from exact geographical location of angelic rescue, retrieved when no one was looking as bomb sirens were malfunctioning for some reason

1 table that has inspired zero (0) fantasies of being plowed vigorously upon it by any angels at all 

1 throne, only incidentally covered in carved winged creatures, which was there when occupant moved in

1 bed, 6000-year-old white feather decoupaged onto headboard at owner’s request

1 pair of Vantablack sheets, obtained without the permission of artist with whom current owner is in bitter longtime dispute 

1 television/1 not television, depending on the time of day

1 sculpture depicting recreational masculine sport, for fitness inspiration

0 lights

1 sketch by artist with lustful designs, whose attention needed to be diverted for very important infernal reasons

1 safe containing 1 thermos of holy water, which has remained in safe for 50 years and has never been taken out occasionally and cried over

1 copy of Extremely Big Book of Astronomy, with “Holiday with Angel?” scribbled and then crossed out and then scribbled again five times in margins of section on Alpha Centauri

1 pair of snakeskin Louboutins

5 bags of cat food for Gorgo, the neighborhood cat whose cuddling and purrs are very annoying

1 citrus juicer

#good omens #funny things #ineffable husbands

[codswalloping]

told my cabbie for the 3am airport trip that I was feeling a bit nauseous and he immediately took my bag away from me and said "Trip to the airport is 12 dollars. I'll drive slow." and then he did-- no fast corners, very gentle stops at the lights. and I was willing to pay the extra few dollars for it, but when the meter hit $12 he clicked stop and let me ride the rest of the way free. and it might just be the insanity of waking up at 2:30 after 4 hours of sleep but I was really emotional about it. Like ok Mr Sandeep, the world is still good actually.

#the $12 trip to the airport is what makes this a real fairy tale #cries in NYC

[codswalloping]

reblog & put in the tags what kept you sane throughout quarantine

#running in the park #walking in the cemetery #watching tv with my kids #cocktails on my porch with Pun #ye olde group chat with my SC fandom peeps

[codswalloping]

Side Note To Fan Fic Authors

Here’s the thing.

I read a lot of scripts.  A lot.  From professionals to aspiring writers to complete newbies.  Features and pilots.  Specs and treatments.

And 8 times out of 10 the fan fic that I’ve read over the last, oh, 15 years is leagues better than this stuff.  It’s more inspired.  It’s more compelling.  It’s genre bending and creative and heartfelt.  It’s well-paced and intense and funny and sexy and meaningful.  It’s smart and thoughtful and good.  It’s novel-quality.  Better than, sometimes.

Rare is the script I don’t want to put down, but how often have we stayed up until 3am to get to the last chapter of a 100k fic? And it’s not even a fan fic author’s day job.  This is what they do on the side.  In their spare time.  For free.

So my point is, fan fic authors, you’re good.  You’re good writers and great storytellers.  I know it doesn’t always feel like it, especially if you’re one of the authors who’s not a BNF and doesn’t get the notes/hits that a few do.  And  because some people still view fic as “not real writing.” You guys know the shit that gets made into movies.  You’re better than that.  So be better than that.  If writing is what you think want to do, then just know you’re already doing it.   You’ve already started.

And you’re more talented than you might think.

#as someone who used to read the slushpile for major publishers and agents #this is one hundred and fifty percent true #oh fandom (affectionate)

[codswalloping]

#holy shit luo you’re famous #how does it feel

[codswalloping]

New concept idea: blackout poetry of the bible but make it as gay as possible (and good omens themed of course)

#good omens #bible fanfiction #bildad my beloved

[codswalloping]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

#luck please!

[codswalloping]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

#the long way to a small angry planet #it’s a little too Nice for me tbh #also rereading swordspoint #Richard x Alec 4eva

[codswalloping]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

#politics #hold your fucking nose and vote for Joe

[codswalloping]

Pls reblog to spread and tell what specific word count in the tags!

#489K #probably 500k counting all my orphans and deleted works #started in 2009 #ok 2010 but some are backdated #meems

[codswalloping]

All of Us Strangers (2023)

#all of us strangers #devastating film #beautiful kiss #cw: flashing

[codswalloping]

picture this. you're michael sheen, beloved queer-friendly welsh actor and recent twilight saga vampire. you want your favorite book to become a tv show, and you want to be the lead. so what do you do? you befriend the author. he wines and dines you, you become a confidant in the scriptwriting phase. and in the process of the GO script you decide you don't want to be crowley, actually, you want to be aziraphale. you put in the work for months to influence the author to the same conclusion. so when neil gaiman comes to you one day saying, "i know you joined on to be crowley... but how would you feel about playing aziraphale?" you say, what a novel idea! i was feeling the same way, i just didn't want to say anything! let's do it.

you're michael sheen, the lead in the adaptation of your favorite book. you meet david tennant as your leading man, a rising star (and vocal fan of yours) you've had a few vague interactions with in the past. on set you immediately find the closest friend you have ever and will ever find in your life, and you know this. the romance you have in your (yes, your) show is ambiguous, but you're michael sheen. you think that romance needs to be explicit. so what do you do? you become a nightmare on set. you get really hands-on; you make costume choices, you make story decisions, you tell your author friend at the very end of filming: aziraphale is in love with crowley and realizes it in 1941. now go do it again.

so the author goes and does it again. you get a season 2. you get 1941 part 2. you're michael sheen, and you are the lead of the adaptation of your favorite book, and the romance you littered into the character you built from the ground up has become unambiguous. everything goes according to plan. but, you see, you have a problem: the author you have baby trapped is acting a FIEND on twitter and tumblr. he's saying everything he can to imply aziraphale and crowley aren't sexually attracted to each other. he's getting a bit too bold with his character assumptions, is all i'm saying. so here's what you're going to do: you play it up with your pal david tennant. you made a show with him during lockdown. you're going to depict your lives as even more intertwined and homoerotically codependent as previously possible. you grow even closer. your wives become best friends, too, because how could they not? this has been the plan since the beginning, too. your lockdown show ends. it wasn't enough.

so you, michael sheen, of course you put in the work. if david tennant's there, you're damn sure you're there physically, spiritually, biblically, in whatever capacity you can be. it's not hard. david tennant is a big fan of yours, after all, so he MAKES SURE you're always in the conversation. you have him wrapped around your little finger, this lovely little boy, and so you know what you do next? you become neighbors. you make your directorial debut casting your best friend's wife watching her husband and male neighbor initiate sex with each other. you play into the swinging rumors (that you, michael sheen, had started). you create a narrative that you and david tennant are two homoerotic besties, and is there more going on in the background there? any deeper conspiracy? who really knows, but what you do know is that the world is talking about it.

and you, michael sheen, your entire acting career has led to this moment, your gay quips, your oscar wilde sex scene (and the interviews following), all of your queer roles, EVERYTHING has brought us to this conclusion. you have created the lab perfect conditions where season 3 must have an explicit gay sex scene. i'm sorry neil, my hands are tied! the people are clamoring for me and david tennant to have sex-- i mean aziraphale and crowley to have sex, the public decided this all on their own! i really don't think you have much choice. but of course, i would never deign to tell an author how to practice his veritable craft. i concede to whatever version of series 3 you create, and i will happy to bring this beloved character to his deserved ending.

and why do you say this? because you're michael sheen. you're just an actor who incidentally stumbled his way into leading the queer romance adaptation of your favorite book that wasn't a romance, and you just read the script the way that it was given to you. and if series 3 means an explicit sex scene between you and your best friend david tennant, then what a lovely coincidence that you had absolutely no part in making happen. because what power do you really have?

This is my favorite book I’ve read so far this year. A rare occasion where the author pulls off use of the second person pov. I really felt like I was a beloved welsh actor crossed with Machiavelli when I read this

#good omens #the rpf is coming from inside the house

[codswalloping]

“Let’s try again

Do you recall our very first kiss?

Let’s try again.”

#good omens fanart #aziracrow #and again and again and again

[codswalloping]

a little more bed sketches

#aziracrow #good omens fanart

[codswalloping]

mlem

#aziracrow #good omens fanart

[codswalloping]

TICKETS: ACQUIRED!

#tobias menzies #james fitzjames #how can I resist that grim stare into my soul #nyc theater