dedzidilives

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Book Review - Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion by Kelly Needham / August 23, 2019

She had me at Mexican food.

Born in Houston, Kelly Needham knows what good Mexican food is like - she had been “spoiled with the good stuff,'' even. So, when visiting her well-meaning friends in Nebraska, they took her to the best Mexican restaurant in town, she knew she was settling for something… Mexicanish.

Here as a native Californian in New England, a similar sentiment comes over me time and time again. Try as they might, many of the restaurants here are not able to deliver the real thing. However sad that picture might already make you, this illustration is meant to show something more profound.

As Kelly uses this story to open up the topic of her book Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion (coming out August 27, 2019), her main point is that what we often call friendship in our world is not the real thing. It’s something... friend-ish. In her overarching premise is that we as believers should view friendship as “an irreplaceable gift in the life of a Christian”. And she’s 100% right!

Friendship is a gift, but it is one that has never come easy to me. I’m sure many others can sympathize. When I was seeking some wisdom on friendship a few years ago, Kelly’s blog posts came at just the right time in God’s sovereign plan. So, in my first foray into writing a book review on something that has yet to be released, I also make my first foray into reading a book on friendship. Bear with me - here are my brief thoughts.

Cultural Confusion? Comprehended and Called OUT.

The book hits the nail on the head with the analysis of our culture of friendships. I often am hit with inadequacy (and sinfully, with covetousness) when I observe the closeness of other women in their friendships. That covetousness and inadequacy come from a lingering sinful understanding about what friendship should and shouldn’t be, which Needham works to alleviate.

The book helps reorient several of those key observations as cultural confusion. The acceptance of the friendship of the world, which has seeped somewhat into American Christianity, obscures its marriage-mimicry, selfishness, and a replacing of Jesus, as three of the chapters explain. Especially when the book talks about the subconscious (or conscious) covenants that friends make with one another, when friendship really something that is not binding and relatively ever-changing.

In reading her cultural analysis, I often found myself “Amen-ing” from the metaphorical choir loft. No longer are these things marks of true friendship I should desire. Instead, they are marks of counterfeit friendship that I should toss aside.

Christ our Friend? Some Things Left Unsaid.

I felt it was incomplete, however, in its theological unpacking of what it means for we believers to have friendship with God. More pointedly, Jesus is our Friend. But why and how did that come to be?

Jesus is rightly presented as Savior, Mediator, Shepherd, Satisfaction, Judge… but there isn’t a clear mention of Him as Lord in the context on roles that our friendships often play. As such, I also wish there was a look at the passage of John 15:15-16 in which Christ ties together His title of Lord and friend so… well... masterfully:

No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and [that] your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.

I believe that understanding Jesus Christ our Lord and that He called us, His chosen slaves, into friendship with Him would have offered a clearer, more robust connection between some of her imperatives and arguments that come later in the book. The more practical chapters of her book still prove to be practical without those mentions, but I know how much I’ve benefited from reflecting on Jesus as Lord when it comes to friendship. I hope others can do the same, too.

--

Though I think there are some areas of the book which would have benefited from a little more unpacking and/or refinement, I still think that this, being Kelly’s first book, can serve as a useful tool as you ever examine the friendships in your life. As I’ve read Kelly’s articles on her website as well as places Desiring God and Revive Our Hearts, something always proves to be helpful to take away.

We do need to stop to recognize friendship as the gift that it truly is. I know I’ve already found this book, Friend-ish useful as I have examined how I do friendship these past couple months. This book, like Kelly’s articles, came at just the right time in God’s sovereign plan. But, as with any Christian book I read, no matter what book is it, I’m reminded to use it a menu to point me to a meal consisting of the Word of God.

If interested in pre-ordering the book Friend-ish while there is still time left, visit friendishbook.com. When you do, you’ll receive a free study guide (PDF), access to the video series, and immediately receive access to the Introduction and Chapter 1 to get started on reading. If you’d like to read more of Kelly’s work, she writes at kellyneedham.com and has been a regular contributor on Desiring God and Revive our Hearts.

#friendishbook #dedzidilives #dedzidi #book review #writing

[dedzidilives]

Time to gather up your wise writings and make them into a book.

👀

[dedzidilives]

Gone Fishing / August 2, 2019

For those of you that were children during the Disney Pixar heyday of the early 2000‘s, I’m sure you remember going to theaters and watching the story of an endearing clownfish father and son duo, Marlin and Nemo. (*spoiler alert* for those of you who aren’t in the know) Do you remember the pangs of grief when Nemo got separated from his father, who then dramatically and valiantly journeys all the way to Wallaby Way in Sydney, Australia to find him? Who knew fish could tell such a riveting story! A few weeks ago, as I was reminiscing about this movie, my mind flashed back to the scene where Marlin and Dory finally locate the fish tank in the dentist office where Nemo had been living. Yet, the reunion was threatened by the infamous fish killing Darla. Nemo thought he could escape her grasp play dead in this bag and get flushed down the toilet. Instead, he was vigorously shaken by Darla to put some life in him - “WAKE UP, FISHY,” she says. Darla is delusional. Darla is frightening. And sometimes... Darla is me. Yes - Darla is me as I shake the bag of my seemingly dead or sleeping “love life” and yell with imaginary headgear and all, “WAKE UP!” hoping that by some measure of effort, it will be shaken from sleep (or resurrected from the grave). Ridiculous, right? “Gone fishing,” more like, “fishing gone wrong.” I never thought I would be drawing comparisons between Finding Nemo and my life... but yet here we are. I also never thought I’d be writing something about singleness (and my singleness at that) for the world to see but, again... here we are. However, as I’ve been comparing my life and examining my heart against the Scriptures this summer to look for more ways to be transformed by the renewing of my mind and made into the image of Christ, it seems like something like this was inevitable. When I look and think like Darla, I “conform to the world”, trying to give life to something that I do not, should not, and can not control. When I think more like Christ, I, Dedzidi, whose aim is to be “transformed by the renewing of my mind” (Romans 12:2), try and give glory to God who does, should, and can control my life as the Holy Sovereign Creator that He is for all. Moreover, as a believer, who has trusted in God through the Lord Jesus Christ, I also have been reconciled to and know Him as a Gracious Father that works all things for His glory and for my good (Romans 8:28-30). So, here I am, letting a little bit of my life get out in the open, to let you know that maintaining contentment in singleness is not a walk in the park, for many people, including me. Lest you think that I for whatever reason am floating on clouds, it is work, pretty hard work, as is the whole Christian life. But do you know what makes it easier, what makes me able to grow in my ability to persevere with joy, to be content in my circumstances, to submit to the Lord’s current plan for my life, to obey Him above all else? The truth. 

Here are a few truths I’ve been thinking about over the past few years, this summer… basically my whole life in Christ. So though there’s a possibility the Lord might be preparing me for marriage…

… I have 100% certainty that I will fail at being content in singleness on my own strength. 

I know that because I have failed at being content in so much else. Before I believed in the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ, my quest for contentment was futile. I either thought myself able to sustain my happiness by myself and by believing in myself or in other things. 

Saying I put my hope in the wrong place would be an understatement. With my inherent sinful nature, I “worshipped the creature rather than the Creator” and with every action, attributed honor and thanks to anything other than God (Romans 1:21, 25).

But God opened my eyes to my futile speculations and changed my darkened, foolish heart into a heart of flesh finally enabled to please Him, to be at peace with Him (Romans 5:1).

Even now, as a believer, I struggle daily to grow in contentment in all areas of my life. Though saved because Christ’s death on the cross paid for my sin, justified me in the eyes of God, and enables me to be righteous and godly in my everyday, contentment is still something I will fail at if I attempt to go it alone. I’m grateful to have learned early on in my faith from the example of Paul:

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Phillipians 4:11-13)

Paul, at that moment, though in chains, though in great need, learned to be content in anything and everything through Christ. He could withstand the discontent, be strengthened through suffering, be satisfied when in need, in Christ. Lest you think this verse refer to anything else, in Christ we are continually strengthened in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and always for “better”, never for “worse”. If singleness is what He has for me, I know that He will be enough. (And I can’t do it any other way).

... I have 100% certainty that God’s plan for my life might not line up with my plan for my life.

“I know I’m going to get married.”

I hear statements like that somewhat often from single women referring to themselves, or from others referring to me. I’m sure that even if I haven’t said it aloud, I’ve thought that such a statement in my mind. I know, you might mean well, and I can’t speak to others’ motives, but I can speak to mine. Thoughts like that, once viewed through the lens of Scripture must be taken with a large grain of salt. 

Though you or I might have the desire to be married, there’s no promise, no “writing on the wall” that anything I desire for this life, let alone marriage, is guaranteed. A passage in the book of James, full of practical wisdom on what it means to not only persevere in trial, but to be “doers of the word” gets at the heart of what these statements often reveal:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16, emphasis mine)

Instead of making plans for your tomorrow, submit your plans to the Lord for His today (James 4:7; Psalm 118:24). Submission to the Lord’s will is something that must happen in full, not in part. Yes, thinking and planning for what tomorrow could be is not foolish, but wise. However, when we purport our perceived sovereignty over God’s, we show immense pride in the face of a God, who ultimately “directs our steps” though we may “plan [our] ways” (Proverbs 16:8). What “the Lord wills” for you as part of His sovereign plan could or could not include a spouse, a move to a new city, a successful career. Be reminded that He, indeed, is the One who gives and takes away.

… I have 100% certainty I’m called to grow in my ability and desire to love Him wholeheartedly and to love others.

So, what has this Sovereign One given us to do? As is often quoted, He has called us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and secondly, to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37, 39). But what does this love look like? Christ unveils this to His disciples in John 14:

"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him. ... If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me.” (John 14:21, 23-24, emphasis mine)

This love of God is not lip service, but true obedience to the word of Christ and, therefore, the Word of God. It involves not only having the commandments, but keeping them. As with learning contentment, this is a task that none of us can do on our own strength. The very one who tasks us with keeping His word keeps us. God comes to us!

Though this obedience begins inwardly in our hearts with God’s hand, it ends outwardly in our actions to other people. With other brothers and sisters in Christ, it looks a lot like Ephesians 4 through 5:21, which starts out:

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. ... for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. (Ephesians 4:1-3, 12-13)

It means that you should strive to use the gifts that the Lord has given you to serve other believers for their benefit and not your own, to live and grow alongside a local group of like-minded believers to grow in maturity together.

With those outside of the body of believers, it looks like holding your main calling in high esteem:

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. (2 Corinthians 5:20, emphasis mine)

If your focus has been dead set on seeing that you fulfill the targeted directives in Ephesians 5:22-24… well, you’ve missed the mark. You may consciously or subconsciously think that the role you were born to play is future wife, future mother, future grandmother. However, as Christians, we must remember what is of first importance - we are present and constant slaves of Christ, constant stewards of the gospel, in all life stages and in all circumstances. So, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1). Keeping your focus on understanding what is “worthy of [that] calling” will likely prepare your heart for whatever comes next.

… I have 100% certainty that He’s preparing me for eternity.

As believers, we may not have the plans of today or tomorrow to trust in, but we can be assured that what comes next is not only eternity, but eternal life. John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” 

The Bible tells us more about this eternal life that those who believe that “He gave His only begotten Son” looks like. We await a bevy of promises given by God in His sovereign grace and abundant mercy to those whom He has chosen as His own:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to [obtain] an inheritance [which is] imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. (1 Peter 1:3-5, emphasis mine)

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18, emphasis mine)

At its heart, though this eternal life brings all these promises, may we have great joy in knowing what eternal life really is:

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” (John 17:3, emphasis mine)

Though we look forward to an eternal inheritance, to future glory, what we will have no longer in part but the whole is an intimate and deep knowledge of the One who created us, the One who sustains us, the One who saved us. What a blessing it is that we can now spend our lives growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ (2 Peter 3:18)! 

But… how exactly can we do that? Paul connects what is heavenly to what is earthly this way:

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. (Colossians 3:1-2)

In keeping our eyes and motives heavenward, we can continue to get better at resting in the guaranteed eternal promises of God and, most importantly, in God alone.

It can be a hard pill to swallow that nothing on this earth, even a good thing like marriage, is guaranteed. But the reality is that God is still good and still is faithful no matter what our lives may look like. May I continue to be less and less fearful about the future, whatever it may look like. Instead, humble myself and cast my anxieties on the One who truly cares for me (1 Peter 5:6-7).

PS - I would be remiss if I don’t say that it is practical to seek wisdom on marriage before you get married. As I also try and remind myself, I would also be remiss to look at marriage as a “level up” from singleness. I did not, because I cannot scratch the surface on this topic, but whether in it for a season, or for a lifetime, learn along with me that it is wholly good and wholly satisfying for those to whom it is given by God to some for His glory and for the benefit of all believers. 

References and Recommended Resources:

TBD, I’m tired of writing. NO MORE!!!

#words in July #dedzidilives #dedzidi #singleness

[dedzidilives]

Declaration of Ultimate Dependence / July 12, 2019

As we celebrate a formal declaration of independence in the United States, I declare… my ultimate dependence.

Pretty interesting personal declaration, you’d say. Why not, “my independence,” “my freedom,” “my liberty”? Or you might say, I totally get it. Through this cultural hierarchy, we marginalized people are not figuratively, but actually oppressed by the systemic ills of the world and by those who succeed through their privileges.

But, no.

On the contrary, these past few months have brought me into greater recognition of the fact that I am a should be a humble, obedient, dependent, willing slave... of God. ---

At the beginning of this year, I somehow resolved to be more keenly aware of what it means to grow in my constant obedience to God. I think we often can separate the bad from the good, the wrong from the right quite easily. However, at least to me, this desire to be more thoughtful, more fervent and more active obedient to please God meant (and means) something more. 

Charles Spurgeon is helpfully quoted in saying, “Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.” This quote points to the fact that knowing right from wrong is not the main piece of growing in wisdom and therefore growing in obedience, but sifting through seemingly good things and crystallizing our knowledge of what is right.

Since all believers regardless of gifting are charged together to, in short, attain “the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man” and to “grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:13-15), it is our responsibility to “no longer be like children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine”, “move past what’s elementary” and “press onto maturity” in this way (Ephesians 4:14; Hebrews 6:1).

With the help of the Holy Spirit and with the help of fellow believers, I had and have been working to discern the right and almost right in my heart, soul, mind, and strength so I could love God more fully with all of my faculties and, therefore, serve Him wholeheartedly with all of my faculties.

This meant persisting past the black and white commands, but entering the gray and discerning what His revealed will for my life, that is my sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3) and what that looks like practically. It meant resolving to try and please the Lord in everything, even though answers didn’t (and don’t ever) shine down like a beacon. This meant say yes to more and more opportunities that came my way to glorify Him, since everything is (1 Corinthians 10:31).

As I examined my heart I was struck with this reality, that deferred obedience is disobedience. That even as a believer, this concept of freedom that we are presented with in places like Galatians 5:1 doesn’t mean that we can let unfulfilled, future desires take the place over our call to be obedient now.

But, why?

In God’s sovereignty, I’ve been working through two things with lovely ladies that are helping to cement the why. The book of Romans and the book Slave by John MacArthur have helped me learn (and relearn) that I am a slave of God.

Romans 6:16-18 says it this way:

Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness? But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that from of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you because slaves of righteousness.

If you confess Christ as your Lord and Savior, you must first come to grips with the fact that you were a slave to sin, resulting in death. But something is oft left out, maybe because of the cultural implications of slavery, but mostly because of our ever-lingering pride. We Christians, we aren’t free to roam like the buffalo. This type of freedom, which is often spoken of, is not the freedom that we actually have. Because we are slaves “of obedience resulting in righteousness”. As it says earlier in Romans 6 and in Romans 5, for our sanctification, we become slaves of this perfect faithful Master who orchestrated our redemption from the slavery of sin in the first place through the death and resurrection of His Son.

Because of His death on the cross and His resurrection, I’ve died to sin and am alive with Him in the likeness of His resurrection (Romans 6:5). This means, that though I’m not free to sin, I’m free in regards to sin and its power and guilt over me. That freedom is more than I could ever imagine. Even more, this means that I’m able to obey, something I couldn’t do on my own accord.

The reality is that Christian life is one of slavery, of complete submission to God and complete obedience to His commands and purposes. But how often do you and I let this theological reality guide my life? It’s a difficult pill to swallow and it can pushed to the back to collect dust in our minds. But may I, and may you, continually wipe off the dust and put this in full view like it belongs.

Unpacking the truth of the Christian as slave to God has made the gospel more precious to me. There is so much more than this free-write can encapsulate - not only slave, but child; not only slave, but citizen... but in all of it, I’m going to continue daily declare my ultimate dependence. with it, I will never be more free.

#words in July #dedzidilives #dedzidi #dedzidi lives

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Compartments / February 18, 2019

It’s Presidents’ Day. A day off; a day to rest, but also a day to organize my ever chaotic bedroom. It’s on days like these that I put everything back in its place... even if just for a few days. Each shirt expertly folded, each sock (including the ones that have evaded their pair) are placed gracefully in their compartments for safekeeping and easy finding.

For a long time, I tried to do that with this stage of life I find myself in. Placing experiences and people in boxes so tidily separated and labeled, I was able to keep up this compartmentalization for quite some time. But then, like how my room capitulates into a vaguely organized version of itself shortly after the cleaning exercise has ended, my life has started to tend toward how it feels when the pair of pants I wore doesn’t quite make it back to where it belongs, when one shoe gets lost in the abyss of clothing options from the morning before - a bit messy. No longer can I recap my days with ease. I must sift through the messiness of overlapping relationships, overarching responsibilities, and overwhelming webs of information. This seems like my new normal now.

But unlike the cleaning that should currently be going on in my room, I kind of like this mess. For this mess of people means there are more opportunities for things that never have gone together to find each other. There will be more chances for the dissimilar to become similar, for me to find more beauty in the asymmetry.

So though it’s not going to be as easy for me, as these compartments of my life fade, but this blending of people, of lives, is something that I can’t wait to struggle to find a new place in.

[dedzidilives]

Book List / 2019

I desperately need to work up the same discipline I had to read books in 2017 in this new year by God’s grace, but starting small with this year’s book list.

YET TO READ:

LITURGY OF THE ORDINARY by Tish Harrison Warren

SKYFARING: A JOURNEY WITH A PILOT by Mark Vanhoenacker

THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY by A.W. Tozer

THE ENVY OF EVE by Melissa Kruger

IN DEFENSE OF FOOD by Michael Pollan

CURRENTLY READING:

THE RARE JEWEL OF CHRISTIAN CONTENTMENT by Jeremiah Burroughs (to start in second half of 2019)

JUST MERCY by Bryan Stevenson

READ (highly recommended are in bold):

ADORNED by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

HUMBLE ROOTS by Hannah Anderson

LONG BEFORE LUTHER by Nathan Busenitz

THE PURSUIT OF GOD by A.W. Tozer

SLAVE by John MacArthur

GOD, GREED AND THE PROSPERITY GOSPEL by Costi Hinn (book review by Samuel Sey)

FRIEND-ISH by Kelly Needham (my book review)

YOU WHO: Why You Matter and How to Deal With It by Rachel Jankovic

#book list 2019

[dedzidilives]

You have to read the A.W. Tozer book, The pursuit of God!!! You will be brought into such a worshipful attitude towards God. You may even cry with joy. It's that good!!!!

Lol hello person I’m just seeing this now but I plan on it. I’m hoping to set aside time to read and write more in 2019. (:

[dedzidilives]

Kindled Thoughts / DECEMBER 23, 2018

On a dark night, driving away from the summit of our long hike and toward a night of rest, the buses’ headlights and the city lights down below provided the soft, persistent glow we needed to make it down the windy roads of Guatemala. We had spent hours climbing to witness the aftermath of centuries of molten destruction and to look in awe at the famous “volcan” Pacaya.

As we rounded another curve down the mountain, what would confront our senses next was unexpected. The crackling. The yellow light. Many of my peers could close their eyes and reminisce back to the recent holiday season and sitting around the fireplace with their families or their times at sleepaway camp singing songs with their friends around a campfire. But, eyes wide open, all heartwarming memories were forsaken. Ablaze was a school bus, just like the one we sat in. Abandoned was what we hoped it was. Though we wanted to take in the brilliance of the flame, the object of our gaze triggered us to think on all the “what ifs?”. Minds were confused and disquieted. Had there been people in the vehicle, had they been saved?

It has been a while since that moment from my college choirs’ time in Mesoamerica, but I found myself reflecting these past few weeks. When fire is strange, out of place - what should be my response?

---

Continuing to study the Word of God to grow in a true knowledge of Jesus Christ, thoughts of “strange fire” brings the names of Nabad and Abihu to mind. These sons of Aaron, priests, “offered strange fire before the Lord, which He has not commanded them” (Leviticus 10:1). In the Old Testament, Levitical priests offered sacrifices by way of fire as an act of worship, per God’s explicit commandments, on behalf of the people set apart for God, the Israelites. Yet, Nabau and Abihu defied the commandments of God in the profane sacrifices that they offered to God. What was God’s response?

And fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. (Leviticus 10:2)

Falsehood or deception instructs people to present such “strange fire”, or uncommanded acts of worship to God. Though He is merciful to withhold the full extent of judgment from these false teachers in our day and age, God gives us believers instructions on how to ensure that “by those who come near [Him] [He] will be treated as holy, and before all the people [He] will be honored.” (Leviticus 10:3)

While on a real podcast kick a few months ago, I was able to listen to Costi Hinn in his seminars at my home church. After talking through the history of the movements that have popularized and packaged deadly deception as health/wealth or Word of Faith “gospel”, he landed in Jude, a brief book of the Bible (of only 25 verses) chock full of exhortation to “earnest contention of the faith” (Jude 1) and words like this:

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. And have mercy on some, who are doubting; save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh. (Jude 20-23)

As I continue to let the Lord renew my mind (Romans 12:1-2), I must also work out my salvation with fear and trembling and discern the truth through the study of the Word of God (Philippians 2:12-13). This means continuing to orient my thoughts on church and falsehood to what Scripture says. This will of course take some time. But as with all things, I will continue to examine my heart and my actions. What I do know is that false (or even slightly incorrect) teaching could be instructing many I love to worship God with a strange fire. What’s my response?

---

I know that as I used to pass by places that proclaimed falsehood, my first instinct early in my walk with God was to turn up my nose and turn my back, counting them hopeless white-washed tombs, dead on arrival. But in meditating on Jude 20-23 these past few weeks, may I be taken away from this pride and instead be brought back to the kindled thoughts of that unsettling evening.

With strange fire rampant leading others to another fire, a fire of judgment for all eternity, let me be compelled to proclaim the gospel as a rescue to those whose paths lead to the opposite of eternal life. With this truth that governs my life, may I strive to learn and apply what it means to have mercy on the doubting, to save others and snatch them out of the fire, and to have mercy on some with fear. ---

References:

Strange Fire (RC Sproul): https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/strange-fire/

Defining Deception (Costi Hinn): https://www.gracechurch.org/sermons/14804

Reaching Those Caught in Deception (Costi Hinn): https://www.gracechurch.org/sermons/14810 

#dedzidilives #dedzidi lives #kindled thoughts #jude

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Fail Well / JULY 6, 2018

The first day of finals. It was a Monday, and after a long semester of rehearsal after rehearsal and late nights trying to keep up with my coursework, I was excited to finally have the chance to eat breakfast with my floormates. So, right around 9:30am, with beautiful blue skies up ahead, we headed over to one of the dining halls to fuel up before hitting the books for the day.

Well, when in our conversation turned to the dates of our finals, one of my floormates recounted his schedule precisely, reciting the course, the weekday, the month, the date... the date… At that moment, instead of a mind ready to hit the books, I had a heart ready to hit the ground. Conscientious and thoughtful me was revealed as careless and thoughtless. I had one job and I blew it. That day, that morning, I missed a final exam.

Once my error was confirmed, my head felt free to spin and my eyes felt free to flood with tears. Why had I missed this? Why had no one told me? Why me? Why was I the one that failed? After the initial onslaught of emotions (and thanks to my father and my friends who were able to stave them off of a bit), I was able to take a deep breath and assess, to answer those questions and to think about my failure.

Years later, I’m able to reflect back on this out of school and in the workforce, where opportunities for failure don’t cease, but increase in number and in importance. So, what does does it mean to fail? And what does it mean to fail well?

First, fail, a verb, and as defined by my Google search means to (a) be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal, or (b) neglect to do something. I… did both. So why had I missed it? Because I was (a) unsuccessful in achieving a goal, a simple goal, but a goal nonetheless, that is, of taking my exam when it was scheduled. AND to top it off, (b) I neglected to do something, that is, writing down my exam on the correct date, attending it.

So, I know you’re wondering. How did I turn these lemons into... less sour lemons? In what ways did I learn, and am still learning to fail well?

Well.. because ya girl loves Parks & Recreation and its matriarch, Leslie Knope, I followed her lead and made it into a helpful acrostic.

Find Faithful Friends Authenticity in Self-Assessment Investigate Solutions Lock It Down Write It Down Empathize Fully Listen Intently Love Wholeheartedly

Lean not on your own understanding

Find Faithful Friends: Building your circle of support is tantamount to moving well through failures. My failure revealed quite clearly that I didn’t really have people looking out for me in the class, though I thought I did. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t faithful to them in the ways they wanted me to. This one continues to be my weak spot. So don’t be uncertain about who is trustworthy, who is faithful.

Authenticity in Self-Assessment: Make it a point to assess yourself against the whole truth without the cushions of compliments or veils of validation. Ask yourself and others to objectively reveal what your shortcomings were. And don’t be afraid to be honest with those you’ve wronged in its wake.

Investigate Solutions: Rather than aimlessly pointing fingers as to who or what caused the problem, move purposely into the land of problem solving. Point fingers as to who or what can help solve the issue at hand.

Lock It Down: Practically, it means putting a system in place and into practice that will remind you of how to do things in a better way. The outcome is case-by-case, but the need is 100 out of 100.

Write It Down: As to not let history repeat itself, capture your failures as well as your successes. Don’t let memories fade and let failures instead be, as they say in the corporate world, “opportunities for growth…” (:

No one really helps those that help themselves

Empathize Fully: Empathy is not innate, it’s something you build. Every day is an opportunity to learn to “bear burdens” (Galatians 6:1-2) for your own idea of personal gain. So reach out and feel something other than what you think you should.

Listen Intently: Empathy’s foundation, good listening, is even harder to cultivate. Labor to be “quick to hear” and “slow to speak” (James 1:19-20) to keep your own emotional responses at bay.

Love Others Wholeheartedly: Though it may manifest itself positively or negatively, you already love yourself way too much. We are inherent selfish people, who look out for our own interests above others. Work to let your heart, your desires be focused on someone else.

As to not omit the full expression of myself, that is, my faith, my life as a Christian, one of the things I’ve learned the hard way is that it’s not all about me. It’s really not. I’m always drawn to the letter that the Apostle Paul writes to the Philippian church, in the words of second chapter that read,

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”*

Sometimes I naively wish the concept of altruism was enough for me to do these things. But it’s not, and it can’t be. Any marked progress in doing those last three things consistently is because I’m consistently “[encouraged] in Christ”. Mirroring the directives of His example, but even more, believing in the depths of His ultimate service through sacrifice, enables me to display such character to fellow believers and to others. Paul wrote these words while imprisoned! These thoughts really only scratch the surface. I’ve fallen in neglect and, much worse, in sin so many times that I’ve able to see this so clearly, but I ask you to learn this lesson sooner rather than later.

So. Back to the story. I know that you’d like me to say this had a “happy” ending. But, even better, I can say this had a real one. After talking to my professor, pleading with him to still let me take the exam, he relented, though with a (fitting) penalty - fifteen percent taken off my exam grade. I spent the next few days studying so hard to ensure that I was able to take that test with excellence. When that day came, I was prepared and passed with flying colors.

What did then did this teach me? That you have to experience great failures in order to be greatly successful on this earth? No. That I should learn to put my final exam dates in my calendars immediately after receiving the syllabus? No… well, yes, maybe that one. Most pointedly, this taught me about endurance. The truth of the matter is though we are not all guaranteed “success” here on this earth, we are all guaranteed to stumble, fall, and fail. Those who have endured are prepared to weather life and the tumult that it brings. To live life well is to fail well.

This blog post was adapted from my presentation at a demonstrative presentation forum at work, called Dumplings & Demos. So, uh, basically, I’m saying you should read this again while eating dumplings.

*see Philippians 2:1-11

#words in July #fail well

[dedzidilives]

Learning to walk / MAY 12, 2018

Every day, I learn how to walk. As my knees tingle with anticipation of my circadian clock And its reaction to the rising Son.

Every day I learn how to stand, How to let my center of gravity rest on rock and not sinking sand. I gather how to gather myself, To stand up straight, to no longer bend afraid, To no longer melt.

But each day I am marred by the things that grab at my feet - Sharp claws that hinder me from running full speed toward the finish line that awaits; The injuries leave me walking, no limping onward - I pray for strengthening.

But every day, I learn how to walk. As my knees tingle with anticipation of my circadian clock And its reaction to the rising Son.

“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.” (Hebrews 12:11-13)

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whys wise y’s / MAY 7, 2018

I’ve been asking “Why?” a lot more.

The results have been interesting.

Last week, I was compelled to challenge myself both at work and in my personal life to start framing questions with the word why, not only to challenge myself to ask more questions more often (which I actually need to do more at work), but to investigate people’s foundational beliefs.

Some times individuals are so confident in futures, whether that’s future actions they’ll take or future plans they’ll make, when they haven’t even made the decision or haven’t even been offered an opportunity. In that brash certainty, I’ve found people’ pride.

Other times, my conversation partners are so confident in other people’s answers, resting in canned responses to satiate my immediate needs until I realize that the justification was not wholly satisfying.

As I continue to reflect on my growth these past few years, I’ve found myself in both places - where I am so confident in my future, so confident in my plans, yet only the Lord knows what my future holds (Proverbs 16:9); where I am so confident in knowing the information I’m able to spout out that only quenches thirst for a moment, whereas knowing Christ satisfies forever (John 4:13-14).

In this, I’ve found more situations for myself to say, “I don’t know,” to take a step back and to root my answers, and my foundation in God through Christ, my “whys” in what I actually believe in than in myself, and more importantly in what is perpetually earthly or fleshly in me and mars my desire to be like Christ much more than I am right now.

“On this Rock, I will build my church.”

“The stone that the builders rejected became the cornerstone.”

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Book List / 2018

Presenting my book list for 2018! Still have a few titles I’d love to add to this from suggestions and otherwise, so stay tuned - this list is ever evolving until December 31, 2018… (:

YEARLY RE-READS: Holiness / J.C. RYLE (7/14/2018) Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God / J.I. PACKER (1/8/2018) NEW READS: A Square Meal / JANE ZIEGELMAN, ANDREW COE Anatomy of Friendship / JOHN REISMAN Bloodlines / JOHN PIPER Fast Food Nation / ERIC SCHLOSSER (1/1/2018) The Forest & the Trees / MICHAEL RICCARDI The Gospel Comes with a House Key / ROSARIA BUTTERFIELD (8/28/2018) Homegoing / YAA GYASI Humble Roots / HANNAH ANDERSON In Defense of Food / MICHAEL POLLAN In His Image / JEN WILKIN (6/4/2018) Just Mercy / BRYAN STEVENSON Love Thy Body / NANCY PEARCEY (12/31/2018) The Meaning of Marriage / TIMOTHY KELLER (with KATHY KELLER) (2/6/2018) Native Son / RICHARD WRIGHT Paradise Lost / JOHN MILTON Passion & Purity / ELISABETH ELIOT (10/4/2018) Purple Hibiscus / CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE The Pursuit of God / A.W. TOZER Refresh / SHONA & DAVID MURRAY (currently reading) Respectable Sins / JERRY BRIDGES (2/10/2018) Side by Side / EDWARD WELCH Slave / JOHN MACARTHUR (currently reading) Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America / GUSTAVO ARELLANO  (2/27/2018) Thirty Days of Bible Study for Busy Mamas: Colossians 3 / PAM FORSTER (5/16/2018) This Changes Everything / JAQUELLE CROWE This is How You Lose Her / JUNOT DIAZ Unprotected / MIRIAM GROSSMAN The Vanishing American Adult / BEN SASSE (8/16/2018) What is a Healthy Church? / MARK DEVER (12/1/2018) Whistling Vivaldi / CLAUDE STEELE Women of the Word / JEN WILKIN (5/4/2018)

… to be continued! Books that have been read have been striked through (woohoo). # OF BOOKS COMPLETED (as of 12/31/2018): 14

#book list

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DECEMBER 1, 2017 / I'm supposed to be here until I'm not.

I’m supposed to be here until I’m not. To work, to use, to steward this lot. To take from what, the Christ, He gave. To cultivate mysteries, work joyfully as His slave.

To live, Paul writes, these words etched in. To live is Christ, to die isn’t bad end. To live is Christ, to die is gain.

I’m supposed to be here until I’m not. No payment, no punishment. What a blessing I just now forgot. I’m supposed to be here until I’m not.

(Philippians 1:21-26)

#dedzidilives

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OCTOBER 31, 2017 / Soli Deo Gloria

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:8-10)

We’d watch the movie Luther. Yearly, we’d sit in our classrooms from 3rd grade on and view this film to learn more about the denomination on which my elementary school rested its primary beliefs. If I thought hard enough, I could barely make out the scenes from that movie despite the fact that I watched it so often. But I do remember this verse. Thankful for Martin Luther, for the many other Reformers who championed the truth, the Word of God so that someone like me would be able to read, memorize and meditate on this verse. But, first and foremost, 500 years after the Reformation began, I’m thankful for God, His gift of salvation through faith, His grace that appeared through, and His glory shown to us in the greatest way - through His Son.

#reformation500

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I remember meeting Lizzie at my church’s summer camp many years ago and rooming with her and some of her best friends. In those years from then to now, as evidenced by this blog post and all the others, she has become such a God-fearing, God-exalting, God-dependent woman. Glad I took the time to read this encouraging blog so full of truth albeit through suffering. But isn’t that how it’s supposed to be, aren’t we supposed to endure with joy through the discipline as God makes us more like Himself (Heb. 12:7-11)? Thankful for and praying for you, Lizzie!

I am not alone. You are not alone. 9.18.17.

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve pictured a life for myself… One that resembled the life I was given. (Unfortunately for me, I was the spoiled youngest child of an upper middle class family, haha - talk about a reality check as a millennial living in expensive southern california!) That picture has changed as I have grown as a person, but it never strayed too far from the lives of everyone I’ve been surrounded by throughout life so far… I pictured my 25 year old self to be married (check!), travel often, with children that look like tiny adorable versions of us, a modern farmhouse, pretty flowing beach hair, a successful photography business, a lifestyle blog and the physical ability to care for the aforementioned list… I pictured myself having the strength and energy to lift my babies into my arms, to sew the cutest linen clothes for them, to teach them how to grow their own food on our homestead, and to build healthy and meaningful lives with their tiny growing hands. I picture myself pursuing my portrait photography business again. Creating fine art prints in my own studio that would create photos that remind parents why they get up in the morning. Making art that takes a mother’s breath away when she sees it on her wall each morning and makes her feel things. Makes her grateful. I want my life to consist of working with my hands… showing up, living. Lately those things are pretty hard for me to do (show up and live, I mean).

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:8-10

The days are growing longer. I am weary. I don’t want to complain, I am not angry with God. I know He has me here for a reason, He has my women’s bible study going through the book of James this semester and I know that’s no coincidence. I want to paint a picture for you what a day in my life looks like. NOT for your sympathy. NOT for your recognition or praises. FOR you. FOR you to be thankful for each little gift you’ve been given that you might be completely unaware of and are possibly wasting. (Like I did, before all of this) OR maybe this is for you, just to know that you’re not the only one who’s life isn’t as cute and perfect as the  (probably insecure and depressed) people you follow on instagram! YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And neither am I. And with that said, I’m actively making an effort to be aware of MY gifts too. Life has been very hard so far, but I still have good things. And you do too. Let’s not waste them by letting Satan distract our attention away from God’s goodness.

In 2010, when I was diagnosed with aggressive leukemia at 19, I thought life was really hard. And it was… but honestly, when I look back at those three formative years that were taken captive by chemo, that was actually easier than dealing with my Chronic Graft vs Host Disease today. That season of cancer was preparing me for this… This slow…and steady… endurance.

It seems like each morning I wake up with new symptoms, each more scary and with more potential to be life threatening than the one before… I have no idea what my life will look like next month, or next year, or in 10 years if the Lord still has me living on this earth. Will I eventually need to be in a wheelchair from how this GVHD is effecting my muscles, and bones? Or carry around with me a supplemental oxygen tank for GVHD of the lungs? Will I need dentures from gum disease and tooth decay that this GVHD of the mouth has given me? Don’t even get me started on the ramifications if any of those one things happened… let alone all of them. The emotional toll of living life in extreme dependence of God and everyone around me… The stress that would put on Caleb to live like that?? The potential.. the anxious thought and fear keeps me in prayer.without.ceasing. I’m learning, unfortunately, that those things do happen to some people with GVHD. Not everyone, but some! It’s moving in that direction for me more than I expected (I didn’t expect it at all. I expected the pretty picture that I painted for you earlier)… and I already know that if I don’t continue doing physical therapy stretches on my mouth throughout the day I will lose the ability to speak and eat without a feeding tube.

I’m overwhelmed and out of breath (literally on the couch gasping for as I type this in “notes” on my iPhone… this symptom is new) I’m thankful to have the strength to attend church, but I miss being able to see my friends off in the distance, to hurry to them and to hug them without any physical struggle holding me back. I miss being able to smile at strangers and acquaintances without hesitating. Because of GVHD of the mucous membrane (that’s the inside skin/all openings including the mouth/gums) I haven’t been able to eat a normal meal without difficulty since June. And I haven’t had a flavorful, spicy meal in 2 years. I’ll likely need gum surgery and at least one tooth removed in the next few months, and I’m only less than 2 years past my transplant And that’s only the mouth.. I also have this GVHD blister on my lip that won’t go away, it’s been there for two months and sometimes it will crack and randomly gushes blood a few times a day and hurts to the point of forming tears… Which can get awkward when you’re by yourself at Trader Joe’s! That’s the only visible issue I think. But you know what, actually… it’s happened enough times in the last two months that I’m kind of used to being more confidently transparent with strangers. Which I feel like has been helpful, to be honest about the struggle in a lighthearted way. It normalizes trials. (Hey! #normalizetrials! I’m joking but did I just make up a thing?! 😉 except I feel that we should add “with joy” because otherwise that hashtag would become a toxic tunnel of self absorbed whiners. #normalizetrialswithjoy, there we go!) Because life is hard for everyone. Not just me, not just orphans in Africa, not just foster kids, not just the wealthy people in the world who can’t buy their happiness, and not just you, whoever you are and whatever burden you’re bearing (or about to bear).

If the peace and joy that I have that only comes from The One True God, can point someone (anyone) who feels lost towards having this same hope and joy for themselves, well then… this very long (and possibly permanent) season of suffering would be worth it for me. I do miss kissing Caleb though. If you’re a prayer, can you pray that my lip heals so I can kiss him again!? It’s not a silly prayer. Kisses matter. 😘

Caleb and I started reading Randy Alcorn’s Heaven this week and it has ministered to my soul in such a sweet way, and I had this realization…

I may never be a mother…

I may never be healthy again…

I may never have the life that I expected God to give me…

I may never live to be 30… or 40… or 50…

(or maybe those never’s may never happen!)

And God is still GOOD?

God is still Good.

Earlier this week… I wanted to die—(Ok, ok I’m sorry to be dramatic! Correction: Heaven sounds really *incredible* and chronic pain really *isn’t*.) After reading and speculating about heaven, and after a very long and painful day, I prayed that God would either heal me or take me home. I begged him not to give me a life of long-suffering at the extreme of others with cGVHD that I’ve seen. I prayed it as I sobbed uncontrollably in my bed, muffling my tears in my pillow, hoping I wouldn’t wake Caleb (who was waking up at 4am that particular morning.) I prayed it over and over for hours. For nights on end. Life has been painful and physically exhausting which is emotionally exhausting. It is physically difficult to move my muscles to get out of bed. To move from my room to the kitchen and to go to the bathroom. It hurts to sit and it hurts to stand and it hurts to walk. I am only comfortable in one position, and that is when I’m laying on the couch sitting up with my legs relaxed in front of me. With my cute ferocious little pomeranian, Danger happily snuggling on my lap. I thought that I would start to feel better as time went on after my cancer treatment, but this past year or so I seem to only feel worse… I’m doing everything humanly possible to improve my quality of life and ability to function… and though my efforts may be toning down many symptoms, it’s still hard to function.

And THEN I read Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ”

My health is a heavy WEIGHT that I carry around on my back. My sin CLINGS SO CLOSELY like an annoying fly that lingers by my food on a hot summer’s day. That sin tempts me to want to throw in the towel. But Jesus WEPT in that garden the night before He was crucified. He SUFFERED. He asked God (with willingness and submission) to take that cup from Him, and I’ll continue to ask God (with willingness and submission) to take this cup from me. And Jesus still died on that cross even though He didn’t want to endure that. He still gave God honor and glory as He endured that trial that He didn’t enjoy. And because of that devastating experience that Christ endured because of MY SIN… I have hope of eternal LIFE. So who am I to just give up on this life and these hard things that God has allowed me to endure, because I’m uncomfortable and in pain? I know I’m not the only one out there who’s in pain. But am I the only one out there who’s in this much pain, yet has this much hope? I hope not… 

If Jesus Christ can walk on this earth perfectly and suffer the ultimate long, painful, blood curdling pain SO THAT I HAVE THE OPTION to choose hope over this meaningless, sin-filled, cesspool crap-town of a depressing world, then I refuse to disrespect His name by giving up the hope that He paid for me with His own blood. Jesus didn’t die so that I could live a comfortable life on earth, too preoccupied with all the pretty things to need Him. So that I could throw a tantrum when things didn’t go my way. He died because He loved me (even though I didn’t do anything to deserve it). So the LEAST I can do is endure through this hard life for His sake, like He did for me out of His pure undeserved love. Except I’m not capable of doing it perfectly like He did. So He did it perfectly for me. Then died in the most brutal, slow and painful way ever. Then He conquered death by resurrecting like it was prophesied thousands of years prior. It’s pretty cool! And He’s coming back soon. And I am so ready for it.

So if you’d like to pray, please pray for my health and for my heart. And for my sweet husband who never stops dying to himself for me (even without stomping his feet or slamming the door or rolling his eyes) and for everyone else he comes into contact with.

MORE SPECIFIC HEALTH PRAYER:

I started a brand new medication last month, it’s the first official FDA approved medication for Chronic Graft vs Host disease, it was prescribed to me a few days after being approved last month. It’s so new that there’s really hardly any research done about it, not even any contraindications known if you google it. IF it’s going to work for me, it’ll start to kick in within the next week or two. If it works, it hypothetically would help ALL of my cGVHD symptoms Lord willing for as long as possible. And If it doesn’t, the rest of my life will likely consist of chronic pain, fatigue and lots of endurance. And growth. And regardless, even still: God’s goodness. As I’m writing this I’m laying on the couch with my adorable fluffy puppy snuggling in my lap, having trouble breathing and feel dizzy, but I’m comfortable. It’s hard to even focus on writing and articulating thoughts when I feel this way, but I need to get them out. I need you, whoever you are to know exactly what gifts you’ve been given and to take the time to appreciate them. Or to know that you’re not alone in your pains, but press on! Lets normalize trials with joy and be honest with others. Let’s not minimize other people’s pain. Your pain isn’t invalid just because it’s different then mine. ❤️

My sister reminded me today of Joni Erickson Tada. What a light she has been to so many… and I can only imagine that she probably had those dreams as a girl like I have and do. And God had a different plan for her… and she is so beautiful, so whole. Full of so much joy. I am no comparison to someone like Joni and all she’s endured with such grace… but what we have in common is that our lives have not gone according to our plans, our lives have not been comfortable and they have been filled with physical and emotional pain. But we both have hope in so much more than our physical comfort. We have hope in the gospel.

This is what I’m preaching to myself:

ALL OF JAMES 1 ALL THE TIME

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 From Paul, who went through way more pain and persecution and trials than my tiny brain can ever comprehend. “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Hebrews 12:7-11 “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

So in light of that Heavenly Father’s disciplining love…

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:35, 38-39

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” -John 3:16-21 

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AUGUST 14, 2017 / Current Status

It’s August 14, 2017 and I still have two days of posts to finish to meet my July goal of writing every day.

I’m thankful for the days that writing came easily, but also thankful for the days that writing came a little bit more difficult. The desire behind and topics of these posts changed a lot too from what I had in mind.

So if you’re out there and for some reason kept coming back to my blog these past few weeks, well, you are special... I mean, probably special to me; I don’t know anyone who reads this consistently - even, I don’t.

But anyway, I’ll be sharing those last two posts eventually, as I’ve been writing and rewriting and thinking and rethinking what they are.

Maybe I’ll actually share a life update one of these days... probably not. (:

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JULY 29, 2017 / Trusting in the Means, Part 2: The Word

1 Peter 1:15 says that we are to “be like the holy One who called [us], holy in all our behavior,” that as Christians we are called not only to be set apart, but to be set apart as the Lord is set apart. Indebted to the Lord for our salvation, held to this standard of holiness that on this earth that no man can fully attain, how then do we work towards this worthwhile goal and calling from God Himself? Verses 22-26 give a glimpse into the answer.

Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart, for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God. For,

“All flesh is like grass, And all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, And the flower falls off, But the word of the Lord endures forever.”

And this is the word which was preached to you.

In addition to prayer, the living and enduring Word of God is another means in which we place our trust. Let’s turn to the Word itself to look at the ways that consistent study and a right posture towards it aids in our sanctification.

Starting here in 1 Peter, or rather in the verses referenced from Isaiah 40, we see that Word “endures forever.” At the very least, in our perview, the Bible, chronologically spanning from Job to Revelation has enduring for thousands and thousands of years. What the passage and the Bible’s history suggest is an endurance through cultural shifts, exile of the Israelites, persecution faced by the early church, and, most importantly, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What’s more, the word of the Lord will endure past this age into the New Heaven and the New Earth where Christians will be with the Lord forever, to hear His words anew and experience His presence forever.

2 Timothy 3:16-17, building on what Isaiah writes about the word of the Lord, notes that the word is “inspired by God” and “useful”. “Inspired by God” meaning that God used human beings, as He does in other cases, but particularly here to convey His truths so that those who are called may be saved and subsequently progress toward maturity in Christ. Therefore, Paul notes here that the Bible (to clarify, without question, the sole/true source of God’s word for His people) is useful for a lot of things: “teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” so that we might be prepared for righteousness, or as Paul puts it, “so that the man of God may be fully equipped for every good work.”

The Word only is able to teach, reproof, correct, and train because it is inspired by the Lord. Our living and active God communicates those attributes perfectly through His Word, for as it says, in Hebrews 4:12: “The Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing as far as the division between soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” The Word of God inspired by the unchangeable one elicits change in the hearts of those who are His children. 

It’s so interesting where that verse sits in chapter 4 of Hebrews. Before it comes verses that call the believer into the rest promised by God, on it’s other side comes verses that call the believer to hold fast to the truths of our faith and confidently approach the throne of grace, the throne of our Savior who sits to serve as our Great High Priest, Jesus Christ.The Word of God to me is then the “glue” - it’s the ultimate bond to understand the promises of God while also having confidence in the truths and object of our faith. When these things are separate and attempt to be known out of the full context of the Word, we fall short of getting any sort of understanding.

So, unlike any advice you’ve ever heard written this way before, crave this “glue”. Crave what bolsters the confidence of your faith, crave what allows you understand what the Lord has done and will do, crave what let’s you know Him more. As it says in Colossians 3:16-17, beautiful lettered and painted on my wall, by a sister in Christ who shares the same love of the Lord:

Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

#words in July