deviantplum

[deviantplum]

The Ultimate* Sexy Traits:

Kindness

Silliness

Active Listener

Effective Communicator

Probably Some Kinda Furry

*your list may vary

#shitposting #kinda shitpost #kinda serious #incredibly serious actually

[deviantplum]

I'm the opposite of a Mogwai. If you want me to stay up after midnight and you don't feed me, then I will become an Ornery Gremlin.

#shitposting #shitpost #gremlins #gremlin #goblincore

[deviantplum]

Maybe they're Born With it or maybe it's the Chaotic Demonic Forces they're channeling

🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤❤️‍🔥🖤

#shitposting #shitpost #demons #demon fucker

[deviantplum]

If you can't handle me at my Disembodied Noises and Shutting Doors then you don't deserve me at my Manifesting in the Physical, Possessing your Politicians, & Upending Society

#shitposting #shitpost #ghost memes #ghost fucker

[deviantplum]

Halt Traveler! Answer me these questions three! Or the other side you'll never see!

Question One! Do you have any weed?

Question Two! Do you wanna smoke some weed?

Question Three! Do you wanna see me make a bong out of this apple?

#shitposting #shitpost #weed posting #weed memes #weed #tw weed #i can't actually make an apple bong #but i respect the art

[deviantplum]

lmao Mammals are all like "look at us! We give live birth! We don't come from eggs!"

Uh huh yeah right. I see what you've got in your ovaries. You can't fool me. [accusatory] Eggs.

#eggs #egg post #egg meme

[deviantplum]

It's dangerous to go alone!

Take this!

[Holds your hand]

#shitposting #shitpost #dating meme #bad pickup lines

[deviantplum]

[holding out fingerguns, hands shaking wildly] Ok pal, just put the attention in the bag, nice and easy, and nobody gets UwU'd

#shitposting #shitpost #finger guns #🥺👉👉

[deviantplum]

I'll be your ☀️ Ray of Sunshine ☀️

Too bright to look at directly, and slowly damaging your cells with my UV radiation

#shitposting #shitpost #bad pickup lines #science memes

[deviantplum]

Time School is not liable for Irrevocably Altered Timelines

Welcome to Time School

Lesson one: NEVER alter the Timeline EVER

Lesson two: troubleshooting an irrevocably altered Timeline

Lesson three: rationalizing how the Timeline was irrevocably altered for The Greater Good

#shitposting #time wizard #shitpost #costume posting

[deviantplum]

Welcome to Time School

Lesson one: NEVER alter the Timeline EVER

Lesson two: troubleshooting an irrevocably altered Timeline

Lesson three: rationalizing how the Timeline was irrevocably altered for The Greater Good

#shitposting #shitpost #time wizard #costume posting

[deviantplum]

Welcome to Time School

Lesson one: NEVER alter the Timeline EVER

Lesson two: troubleshooting an irrevocably altered Timeline

Lesson three: rationalizing how the Timeline was irrevocably altered for The Greater Good

#shitposting #shitpost #time wizard

[deviantplum]

Fungi are the Ethical Non Monogamists of the Natural World. Sure lots of organisms make numerous pair bonds. But the Fungi are having the kinds of Consensual Entanglements that us mere mammals could only dream of.

#shitposting #shitpost #mushrooms #fungi #ethical non monogamy #please don't ask me what I'm talking about #it's insulting that you think i would know

[deviantplum]

Planning Dates is easier than you're making it. It's literally just Snacks plus Ambience. All you have to do is ask them what kind of background noise they like and which snacks they want.

Bam! Date planned. You're welcome.

#shitposting #shitpost #dating meme

[deviantplum]

Take goths on Halloween dates in the summer. It's soothing to replicate their natural habitat.

#halloween #halloween all year #goth #honestly not limited to goths #take all the Fall Creatures on Summer Halloween dates

[deviantplum]

Not to be too lewd about it, but I really liked that thing you did with your mouth. You know, when you used it to tell me that I matter.

#shitposting #shitpost #flirting

[deviantplum]

Celebrate Caturday by sneaking into places you're not supposed to be and taking meat & butter from wherever you can find it.

#shitposting #shitpost #caturday #as a treat