dissociativedreadtheatre

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

same anon ) what server did yall used to be? you have rebranded at least once

This is answering both this ask and your previous one. Relating to your banning if you would like to fill out a ban appeal form, you are more then welcome to: https://forms.gle/1beMLhXaq8tejvjm8

And no! We have never re-branded, not once, never. We have always been Dissociative Dread Theatre! Hope this helps!

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

Self-care is not selfish: a reminder for cult & identity control survivors.

With most survivors that I've spoken to, myself included, a major part of identity control within cults and other similar high control settings is the need to instill beliefs that your identity is your identity within the cult, and you are who you are to the cult, nothing without it. This removal of a sense of self is something that I've found particularly difficult to grow from after leaving. As a general reminder for all survivors of similar abuse: It is not selfish to put yourself first in situations where it is necessary for your well-being, no matter what you've been told previously. It is okay to take time for yourself, to do things you enjoy, and to try new things, particularly with your identity and appearance if that's what you want to do. It is not selfish to want to get out of survival mode and to live slowly, intentionally, and at your own pace. Regardless of what you were told when in a high-control setting, you are a uniquely beautiful person, inside and out, no matter who you are. You are worth just as much as everyone else around you, and nobody is entitled to your time, love, or attention, even if the obligation feels as if it's an internal pressure. It's okay to forgo these things, and it's okay to take a day or a week or a month to yourself to find things that make you feel happy, rested and ready to move on to the best of your ability. Nourishing the self is a key part of life, and re-learning the fact that it's okay to make yourself your own number one priority has been one of the hardest things that I've had to do out of everything I've had to relearn. So to everyone who feels this echoes their own experience - I empathize. I believe in you. Here's to a new day.

Muse.

#ramcoa server #ramcoa #tbmc #cult survivor

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

Is there any purpose in a cult teaching the kids sign or like some specific signs? (Like asl) We're just trying to figure out if its all related, I know they did some hand signs but we also seem to know a few we have 0 recollection of learning

Small programming CW: Sign language can be used as cue, alternatively, if a shutdown/silent/non-verbal programming is triggered, sign language may be used as a form of communication. Hope this helps, Vivi :3

#ddt asks

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

unsure if i want to join the server yet, but in case i decide to i just want to clarify something. your dni says no endo neutral. does that include neutral as in “i dont want to participate in discourse at all, leave me out of it completely”?

Hiya! Due to our server being entirely against discourse, you would be allowed to join! Hope to see you soon :3 !!

#ramcoa server #ddt asks

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

things non-survivors should know about ramcoa

i want to make one of these posts because as i'm re-emerging myself in the system community, im encountering the fact that ramcoa is a lot more talked about than it once was. which is great in some aspects and not so great in others. some of these things are things even people in the survivor community need to understand.

- **RAMCOA IS NOT JUST PROGRAMMING** programming is a part of ramcoa, if you're a programming survivor, you are inherently a ramcoa survivor, but being a ramcoa survivor DOES NOT mean you're a programming survivor. programming is inherently a kind of organized abuse, but you don't have to be programmed to be a ramcoa survivor. - **YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO DEVELOP DID IF YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH RAMCOA** this is just objectively not true information, considering the vast majority of individuals who experience ramcoa are not children. many people who have experienced ramcoa will develop PTSD/CPTSD or something like OSDD-2 as the result, rather than DID or OSDD-1. - **ALL GROUPS ARE CONNECTED** again, objectively not true information. cults have different purposes, organizations have different purposes, and all of them are working toward an individualized goal, even if it's akin to a religious group or other organization that already exists. they can be connected to one another, like a cult being connected to a trafficking ring, but that doesn't mean all groups around the world in every country are connected by a common factor. - **IF YOU AREN'T POLYFRAGMENTED, YOU CAN'T BE PROGRAMMED** this is false. not all children dissociated to a high enough capacity for the programming to be successful, and some don't even develop DID from attempted programming.

**GROUPS KIDNAP RANDOM CHILDREN**

just like with any abuse, it is more likely to be perpetrated by or initiated by someone a child knows. typically, in these circumstances, it will be the parents who bring the child into the group, sell them to the group, or allow them to be abused by the group on a regular basis. parents are always complacent, ignorant, or involved with this kind of abuse.

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

when will people realize. when will people fucking realize that there's more to fucking RAMCOA than the satanic panic bullshit.

cults count as RAMCOA.

trafficking humans of any kind is RAMCOA.

gangs and cartels can absolutely inflict RAMCOA.

there is so much more to RAMCOA then the youtube video essays about the satanic panic. RAMCOA is a spectrum of experiences. it's not some mythical shit you only see in gratuitous horror movies. it's real and it happens every fucking day.

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

Trans Ramcoa

I dont want to make this a habit however, when looking for terms to reclaim, I came across a post that made me recoil in disgust. @ cincinique made a post defending the not reclaimed term Trans Ramcoa and I would like to bring this to people attention so they can block the people interacting with this post and defending this term. I would like this to be perfectly clear, if you use the term Trans-Ramcoa or similar Trans-id terms, you are:

Defending Child pornography

Romanticizing Child Prostitution

Romanticizing the torture of Children

Defending Child rapists

YOU. ARE. BORDERLINE. PEDOPHILIC.

Not in a million years will these people understand what we went through as a child, all the abuse and torture we experienced at the hands of the people who were supposed to love us. To call this a kink, to say its just you being "kinky" is you getting off to the idea of child torture. You calling this a kink is you pushing people into dangerous situations were they will be abused and tortured. What you post matters. What you do matters. Do not make your legacy online supporting child rape and child torture.

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

DDT Server Update: HC-DID!

Hiya people of the internet! We apologise with our inactivity as of recent, the staff team have been extremely busy with server work and external stressors! However we bring some very exciting changes to our DNI and server as a whole!

TDLR: We are allowing those who use the term HC-DID within our server. We do not want to gatekeep resources and a safe community to those who use this label. We are not for nor against this term, yes our staff team will continue not to use this term, however you are allowed to join, and to continue using it.

We decided after strenuous hours of contemplating both as a staff team, and those who are currently within our community server, if we wanted to make this change. We were hesitant at first, we believe that the term its self can be negative, however there are so many individuals who use this term to describe their experience as a survivor of RAMCOA.

We are a community (RAMCOA survivors as a whole) that is already extremely shunned and alienated purely because our trauma was out of our control, DDT does not want to further that isolation felt by survivors. We want you to have a safe community, a safe place, that is purely for survivors. This has helped so many individuals who do not use the term, so why should we close our doors to the people who experienced a similar trauma, purely because they use a different term. Our server is now, and will forever be, open to any RAMCOA survivors (programmed or not) who use HC-DID or other alternative terms.

We apologise if in the past we have created a divide due to this rule, that was not our intent. However, we hope that with this change, you will feel more included in our community. We hope you are well!

Cheers, Vivica :3

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc #hc did

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

do any other survivors have aphantasia? I can imagine things in vivid detail, but only description wise. Like reading from a book. When I imagine myself in situations, I can’t see them. I can only feel and maybe hear the sensations

CW/TW: brief mention of programming

There is very limited resources on aphantasia being linked to any form of trauma, however there is definitely speculation around the study. From our research, there can definitely be a connection between the two, often trauma survivors express the fact that they may have originally been able to imagine things, that it slowly faded as the trauma continued. I am unsure if there is a direct connection to programming as such, it may not have been purposeful manipulation, more just the impact of the repetitive severe trauma. I hope this helps! You are valid !! — Vivica

Here are some resources that mention the link between aphantasia and trauma survivors:

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc #ddt ask

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

On expression of trauma in childhood through creative means

(CW/TW: Abuse, Torture, Trafficking, etc.)

I've seen lots of survivors of various kinds of abuse, particularly RAMCOA, post recently about how either one of the first signs they were abused in that way, or something they rediscovered/recalled later on, was that during childhood they often re-enacted traumatic scenarios or scenarios similar through games, or playground role-playing. Expression of trauma and abuse through creative means is very common in childhood - scientifically, it's more difficult for anyone to express their trauma through verbal means than it is through art, or etc, and this is the basis for art & play therapies commonly used with children and younger patients. It's a recognised phenomenon in psychology that there are certain markers in children's art for trauma, as it alters one's self perception to go through these experiences, especially in youth. So, in reference to RAMCOA/OEA in particular - recreating these situations in childhood games is perfectly normal, and if you feel this is an experience that resonates with you, you're not at all alone.

RAMCOA changes one's perception of what is normal, and intentionally so, and so to see a child express this through games which would ordinarily be much more domestic - like playing house, whereas a survivor might reenact a scene of torture, or an imagined trafficking ring - is a child survivor expressing a scenario which is normal for them without having to acknowledge it verbally through any means. This extends again to art, and writings, etc - if you look back on the "ordinary" parts of your childhood, and feel the trauma bleeds into those regardless, this is perfectly normal. Even if you feel that at the time you shouldn't have known about those things, or that you didn't see them with nearly the weight that they should have carried - all of this is okay. Everyone works things out at their own pace. All of us survived.

— Muse

Here are some resources on childhood trauma expression through art:

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc #dbmc #cult survivor #child trafficking #did system #trauma survivor #trauma recovery

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

shout out to fictives who:

do keep their source name

dont keep their source name

feel disconnected from their source

have intentionally distanced themselves from their source

have an "embarrassing" or "cringy" source

really love their source

feel like they're too different from their source

really miss their source world, family, and friends

theres no right or wrong way to be a fictive, just be yourself and you're doing more than enough. ♡

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

Hello, we just wanted to ask what its like joining the discord, is there a process to joining? What is the server and people like? Thank you!

Hiya! Thank you for the ask, the discord is a place that is specifically for individuals who have known about their RAMCOA trauma for at least one month. We do this so we do not cause extra trauma and pain for the individuals who have only just figured out their trauma, as we have a lot of heavy resources and conversations that go on within our server. You are also required to be 16 or above, but there is currently no age maximum set.

Upon joining our server, you are required to read our rules, gather reaction roles (we also have roleypoley for accessibility), and just quickly check through our blacklist. Once you have familiarised yourself with that, we have a verification system. You will start a private application with a bot named Appy on discord. They will ask you a range of questions, mainly surrounding our joining requirements, and also a brief description either on RAMCOA as a whole or alternatively a program of your choice. After that, staff will accept or deny your verification.

We actually have a very nice and safe server, that was our whole purpose. Everyone is kind and considerate, we are just a group of people who will understand a survivor more than anyone else, because we are all survivors. We have gotten a large response of positive reviews, both through our tumblr and internally. We have a large range of staff members making sure that the information you receive is trustworthy and that your experience within our server is safe.

The server has a master list of TBMC programs that is consistently growing and changing, we have RAMCOA question channels, a discussion channel for RAMCOA, and we have an anonymous bot that gives our members the privileged to ask questions that they wouldn't feel comfortable to ask unless un-named. We also have several venting channels where you are allowed to express your troubles no matter if they are based on RAMCOA or not. We also have individuals who are comfortable to respond and give any support you feel comfortable with.

We also have resources and question channels that aren't related to RAMCOA, as well we have chats for positive affirmations, creative and other help channels for things such as pronouns, names and icons! As we grow, more channels and server layout changes. Please if you have any more questions feel free to ask, we would love to see you within our server!!

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

Hello, weve seen the term "shell alter" a few times and its always very much hit home for a few of us but could you define it a bit more? Weve only ever seen small and quick explanations of it.

A shell alter is an alter that is created and taught (through torture) that it is nothing, that it has no emotions, no thoughts, no feelings, and no sentience. It is created as a "mask" or a "room" for other alters to front through, usually to mask said alters behavior to keep the programming or the DID covert and undetectable. Shells aren't the most difficult to program (as teaching an already traumatized child that they're worthless/nothing isn't very hard unfortunately) but broken shells can happen in instances of poorly done or incomplete programming. Broken shells may experience varying levels of sentience, identification of self, or emotions.

Hope this helped

-Mod Mutt

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

CW: Program Masterlist

As of recently, we have been working on creating a master list of all programs, including self coined terms! They have just been released and I wanted to show everyone here what is available within our server.

We have five categories, programs (typically programs that cause mental repercussions), physical programs (those that cause effects on the body), common scripts, epsilon and organisational programs.

We are unsure whether to release this information externally to our server, purely as we would like to moderate who has access to it just to make sure it doesn't end up in the wrong hands. However, I did want to ask what those who aren't in our servers preference is? We want people to have access to our resources, but again we are mindful.

There will eventually be a carrd created that has all organisational and epsilon programs, however that will still be a wait time due to the pure size of writing required. That carrd will likely be attached to our tumblr, depending on what peoples preference is!

If anyone has any questions relating to our masterlist, please let me know! We would love to help spread trustworthy information.

PLEASE NOTE: The following screenshots have programs explained in detail, do not read it if you are triggered by drug use, cults, abuse, torture and general RAMCOA mentions.

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc #dbmc

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

Were currently struggling to accept help. Its been hard and confusing but our whole lives anytime anyone (doctors and therapists included) try to validate us or even when reading other peoples experiences that we relate to our stomach twists up, our mind gets fuzzy and our chest feels like its getting stabbed.

Something stops us from being able to relate to people, to feel valid and safe. The feeling of warmth and safty always gets ripped from us. Its isolating to say the least. We know that at one point we were seen as some godlike entity or that one could talk threw us? So were not "suppose" to have anything wrong with us and were really not "suppose" to relate to "normal people" but this often leaves us feeling like we have nothing wrong with us and so arnt allowed in victim spaces if we dont idetify with anything having happened to us even tho we do logically know it did.

Even when doctors tell us somethings wrong with us we cant believe them. Even when we DO logically believe them its like no matter how much I want to I just cant. I can get blood tests to come back positive on illnesses and STILL cant get myself to believe any of it.

I know we have programed parts set to not take medications and not listen to medical or social cues unless approved by someone of power. Im not sure if there are just more programs then we know about or if one just kinda permeates all of it. We recently left the family behind but the mother was the only person our programs listened to. Were just not sure what to do anymore. We want to join your discord, we want to access recrosses, we want to be able to take our medications, we want to believe our doctor when they say we have a chronic illness and be able to use our mobility aides. But we just cant...something stops us each and every time and it hurts and im at my complete wits end over it all. Sometimes its a spinning feeling, sometimes its a painful feeling, sometimes someone else fronts and they stop us, sometimes fragments stop us, its all just so much to much to type up. We have no way of finding a therapist for help to break any of this down. At times me and my system cant help but feel like failures. Before finding all of this we use to think we were a really shitty system for how disordered and debilitating our systoms with DID are. People say you can live a healthy plurl life and you can work together if you just work on it and splitting happens less and you can send out alters to help were you need it and like...we try our hardest we all really do. and i love my system for everything and yes we have been able to work together but also we just split more and more and more and the nightmears and hullusiations are so sary and we cant get ahold of ourselves and we DONT work like a big team there are to many of us and so many people ahve to split up their prioritys betwene parts and honestly were just to damn tired. were just to exsaughted to keep doing this alone. oh im so sorry :( we didnt mean to rant like this were sorry

You genuinely have nothing to apologise about, you are allowed to use our asks in such ways to yell and scream because it means that you are getting it out rather then keeping it in.

The first step in healing is acknowledging the fact that how you're existing at the moment needs to change. It is the want that is really important, you want to have access to resources and take medical aids that will help your quality of life. That is the first step, and you've admitted that to us, which means you genuinely want to change the way things are.

Deprogramming is something that can not be forced, yes therapy and medical settings do help for a large sum of people however sometimes that privilege is not there and sometimes therapy doesn't help. It is understandable that accepting help is difficult, especially if you have been programmed to quite literally not accept it. However right here and now, you have reached out to us, that is a really big step in the right direction of healing! That is genuinely incredible and you should be proud of yourself!

For systems who are survivors, when you're just starting to realise the trauma you went through, even listening to other survivors is daunting, and horrifying. It takes time to realise that what happened, is not your fault, you didn’t have any control over it, and you can't change what happened. Living in denial is a coping mechanism that can be incredibly harmful, however if it is what you need to do right now to exist, there isn't anything wrong with leaving the trauma processing to another day.

It is a hard battle between you logical and mental thinking, often logically you know so much but attempting to convince you irrational thinking? Your emotional thinking? That is incredibly difficult and hard to change, and it definitely will not change over night, it takes time, and energy. So instead of attempting to fix it all ASAP, take your time, take your time in the world because attempting to rush your healing, will make it infinitely worse.

A part of programming is denial programming, a failsafe for your thinking process that is used against you to make you believe, and truly believe, that none of your trauma happened. None of your hurt that you feel happened. It is an incredibly hard program to over come because you logically want to heal and take steps forward but you feel dragged back by other parts. It sounds like a lot of the things you exhibit such as spinning, and a painful feeling, are all forms of programs that I and several others exhibit.

It is hard to believe that you are not alone in this battle, but I promise, you've reached out to us, and that is incredible process. Incredible process to begin healing. To recognise that what happened, happened, and the responses you get now are valid because what happened, was fucked up, and it majorly effected you. Take you time, I know I am sure as hell not going anywhere, we will always be here, take your time with healing. You healing will take as much or as little time as it needs.

Take your time, you're not alone, take deep breaths, and know, you are allowed to not be okay, its okay to not be okay. I believe in you, you've got this.

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc #dbmc

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

we feel very invalid because we've been programmed at ah household and our programs are... specific! i dont have the right word to describe it, but they seem out of the ordinary compared to other survivors. i hope this is the right place to ask, but could we have some validation?

You are more then welcome to ask for validation here!

It is difficult when the type of group you were involved with are not considered "normal" or are a more "rare" situation, however I can assure you that no matter what group, a household or not, your trauma is still incredibly valid. Even if your group was smaller in numbers, your mind control, abuse and torment are still a real reality. Do not think that you are less of a survivor then myself or others simply because you do not fit the "norm", I can assure you no one fits in that category, we all went through different experiences, and you are not alone.

We, as a server, are considerate to those who have programs that are not as common. Currently we are coining our own terms for programs that did not have names previously, to help those effected feel more valid.

If at all you wanted to talk through specific programs and possibly help you feel more valid, you are more than welcome to ask through tumblr, join our server, or if you'd like to privately communicate with myself (one of the owners of the server + I mainly run this blog) feel free to friend me on discord, fallenvivia.

I hope this helped, and you are more then welcome to ask for any form of validation.

#ramcoa #ramcoa server #tbmc

[dissociativedreadtheatre]

something that i really need people to understand is that when you treat programming and ramcoa like a topic that should never ever ever be spoken about or looked into under any context because it's dangerous, you feed into what our abusers told us - that our memories are dangerous and will kill us.

yes, many groups do program self-destruct or recontact programs when memories are remembered or spoken about. this is important to mention. but just saying "looking into or talking about programming/ramcoa is dangerous" does not explain that. explain the full thing, say it is because many groups construct programs to prevent remembering or talking about the abuse, and for god's sake never say "it is too dangerous to ever look into ramcoa period". encourage people to have a support system and coping methods, and let them know it's a good idea to step back from research if they start feeling off physically or emotionally, but stop saying we are incapable of safely looking into the topic at all. it just reinforces what many survivors were told by their abusers and can honestly be far more triggering programs-wise than anything else.